Make Believe and My Literal Three-year-old (Almost 4) - San Clemente,CA

Updated on September 29, 2011
I.X. asks from San Clemente, CA
5 answers

I'm just curious if my child is on the literal side like I suspect. When ever I catch her talking to herself in play and I chime in encourage make -believe and play she responds "mom, I'm just pretending." I was dusting her kitchen set in the toy room and she joined me. I handed her a rag and said "time for Lily to clean her kitchen." She says, "you mean my pretend kitchen?". This is typical for her. I'm thinking she may just be very left brained like her father. Is this just a developmental stage that cannot grasp the abstract or is my suspicion correct?

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Maybe...or it might be that she doesn't think grown ups are supposed to play pretend.

You might say "Mommy likes to play pretend sometimes, too. Will you pretend with me? What should we cook?"

See where it goes.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

She is normal.
My kids have done that too, and still do at times. They just like to correct me... and that, THEY are pretend playing, not me. It is THEIR thing(s).
But my kids are also very... right brained.

I don't think your child is having trouble grasping the abstractness of pretend play. She knows it. Because, she DOES pretend play, but also knows that it is just play. My daughter knew that at 2 years old.
BUT... at this age, kids go through many many different stages of cognition and 'role-playing.'
There are age-stages... and there are tendencies... in children.
But it can change.
I went through a stage in which I was very orderly as a child. But I am very right brained. And also left.
I am not now... who I was at 4 years old.
No one is.

G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

My almost 5yo son was the same way :) We often wondered if he would come out of it, and he has. When I asked my mom about it (this was 2 yrs ago already), she said I was the same way. I could never round any number up. ie: if something cost $2.89 and someone said it cost $3, I would instantly correct them!! Crazy! hehe

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

My daughter did this too. The same as when I tell her that her favorite stuffed toy said it loves her, she will say mommy it’s just a stuffed animal and doesn't talk. I figure she may understand a little more than other kids her age. Or it could also come from her dad and I explaining what’s real and what’s not (movies and TV for example). She seems to do more pretend play now that she is in school or when I have asked to play with her.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

I don't know, but I will be interested in whatever else other people have to say. My daughter is the same age (actually just turned 4 last month) and I've been noticing that she is much the same way. It's not that she doesn't have any imagination but she doesn't do much in the way of make-believe or pretend play. It became more apparent when she started having play dates with our neighbor's little girl (same age) and this girl puts on very elaborate make-believe scenarios with her dolls - as in, birthday parties, baby showers, school. Her parents said in one week she had something like 8 or 9 pretend "birthday parties" for her dolls and she will play this way for hours. She also has a cousin a few months younger than her that is all about pretending to be a mommy - she gives her doll baby a bottle, changes the diaper, puts in her her car seat or stroller and totes her around, puts her down for a nap. My daughter does nothing of the sort - if she is pretending to cook in her play kitchen, I'll ask her what she is making and she'll tell, "It's just pretend Mama." She prefers to either build things with blocks, draw pictures, or just run around and play outside.

Knowing some other aspects of her personality, I think she will probably end up becoming an enginneer or something when she grows up. She tends to be pretty methodical and is also very cognizant of rules, and how rules have to be followed when playing on the playground or playing a game, like Candy Land or whatever, instead of just making things up as she feels like it. Right now I am just taking a wait and see approach as far as how she develops and what kinds of strengths and abilities she ends up with.

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