Help W/3 Year Who Does Not Want to Participate

I agree with the other moms that say to bring her and let her watch for awhile. My son also did the same thing with karate. He started participating after I got up with him. At a few minutes he would forget that I was even there. It might take a few times for her to warmup to the class but eventually she'll get over her fears b/c she'll be having fun. She has to learn to deal in social situations at some point and the longer you wait the harder it is. Good luck.

I took my daughter to dance when she turned 3 years old. She did the same thing. Ultimately, she wasn't ready for that kind of environment. Last year, she turned 4. I took her to dance classes again and not only was she ready, when it came time for her recital, she marched onto that stage, sang and danced her heart out! She was a star! I'd wait until your daughter is just a little older and try again. If you force her, it will not only be a daily battle, but dancing will not be fun for her...you wouldn't like to be forced to do something you were not comfortable with, would you?

My daughter just finished up ballet. There was a girl in her class who wouldn't participate unless her mom danced with her. Her mom did this for several weeks and then finally the little girl was fine by herself. If your daughter truly is excited about dance, then she may very well warm up to the idea.

My suggestion would be to take her and explain to her that you will be there with her. Do like you did last time and let her sit on your lap until she is comfortable getting up to participate. Then stand with her when she does. Each week as she participates try to move a little further away from her until eventually you are sitting while she is up. Don't be suprised if you have a setback from time to time. If you do just start again. Soon she'll be up without any problems you just have to be patient with her. Good Luck!!

As an experienced dance teacher, I have found that many three year olds are just not ready to make the break.

Of course sometimes they are playing their Mom's and often times if you keep taking them for three - four weeks they will get over it.

One of my best teenage students cried for six weeks before she got up and danced of course she was three then.

It is my experience that it is usually the Mom's that fail, given enough time they all make the adjustment but my rule of thumb for my own child was to give her three weeks and if not adjusted after that I'd take her out of whatever activity she was enrolled in and try her again at another time.

Don't worry if you have to take her out of class it will not be too late for her to be a dancer, try her next year or the year after.

Hi S.,
Sounds like your daughter just need s time to get used to this new thing in her life. If she hasn't had a lot of opportunity doing things with other kids her age, she may need time just to adjust. My kids were that way. It took time for my young kids to become comfortable with doing things with other kids. My sons in particular had an adjustment period when they first started pre school and even kindergarten. My best advice don't let her talk you out of not continuing with the class. If she thinks she can talk you out of this, come school time it will be much worse. As I said, give her time to adjust. It may be difficult the first few times meaning she'll probably cry but once she's there and is doing ballet, she start to like being there. I agree with what the other Moms were saying...let her warm up to the idea by sitting on your lap or even you doing it with her. She'll start to have fun and then she'll never want to leave! :o)

My son was the same way with karate when he first started. At first we got him dressed and just let him watch. He was very shy but the teachers kept asking him if he wanted to come out on the mat and participate. He kept refusing until they started doing kicks and then he was interested and wanted to participate. Is there some part of ballet that she really enjoys? You could try talking to the teachers and ask if they have any suggestions. I'm sure this isn't the first time they have seen something like this. I would just take the cues from your daughter. Maybe just get her dressed the way she would to go to ballet and take her but just let her watch until she gets comfy and wants to participate.

This is a normal phase for many children when they begin to socialize. Most will get over it after a few classes. I have seen one girl that after two months she still wouldn't go into class. Hopefully your little one will adjust quickly, she may just be shy and need to acclumate to the class. Does she have a friend her age that could do the class with her? That may help her to get involved. Sometimes it helps if mom is there and for other children, like mine, they don't want to perform in front of mom. Just keep working with her. Good Luck! Keep me posted.

Hi S.,

Being a mom AND ballet instructor, I love the little ones the most. Maybe the school she dances at is not conducting developmentally appropriate classes for that age. You will find that most often in the local dance studios. She should be in creative classes that are enticing to 3 yr olds. The class must be structured, familair (as in the actvities should not vary from week to week), fun, and constantly moving or they will loose interest quickly. The parents of my students absolutely love my classes and there is never a problem of non-participation. please contact me if you have any furthur questions. ____@____.com

Hi S.,
It is very hard for Eryn to participate with others, due to her not interacting with other children in this enviornment. I think once she goes to preschool, she will be able to adapt better, and she will not be so stressed. She has not been in a group setting and she is not used to being around all those children. Give her some time and she will come around. Maybe you should let it go for now and try again in the winter, when she has been able to interact in the classroom setting. See how it goes then.
I hope this helps
Good luck!