Are My Twins Going to Be Close?

Updated on January 30, 2008
J.S. asks from Lake Elsinore, CA
17 answers

Everyone i know that has twins or knows someone that has twins have their babies sleep together. My twin girls are 8 months old and have always slept in thier own crib. Am i keeping them from a special bond? sometimes when they play one seems annoyed with the other one. Is it something i am doing? i want them to share a special bond and be best friends!

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

We have 2 twin beds, but they will still sleep together in one bed. (feet to feet). It's quite cute, but when they get annoyed with each other, then they have the option of sleeping in their own beds.

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G.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

my twins are 3 I think you should let them find there own personialty. I never dressed mind alike or talk to them alike. I treat them like they are differnt.

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T.T.

answers from Sacramento on

I don't think sleeping in the same crib will make them closer than they are destined to be. I have 28 month old b/g twins and they have never slept in the same crib/bed. They can't stand to be separated by a room though. They rarely fight and I consider them to be very close. Since they could really start playing together they seemed to have formed a closer bond than before they were mobile.

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I wouldn't worry at ALL. It's best for you to have them in separate cribs - I'd imagine at 8 months they would be rolling all over each other and not sleeping if they were together. I have 15 month-old twin boys that only shared a crib in the beginning when we didn't have room for 2 cribs! They do the same thing as your girls - sometimes play with each other and sometimes get so annoyed with each other. It's just like "regular" siblings. Twins always have a special bond and I'm sure that yours will be good friends, but, like all siblings and friends, go through some rough patches. For now, once they age a bit they'll be able to interact more. Take care!

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi J.,
Why not let them be as close as they are on their own. My twin sisters did sleep together and they are close, however they fight as well. I think they will benefit from be allowed to be close on their own. I don't think you are wrong for placing them separately in different beds. They will naturally be close because they are sisters.

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G.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

My mother and her sister are twins and they always slept in their own beds, and cribs, they slept in dresser drawers until they could afford to buy an extra crib for the baby they didn't plan on. They did always share a bedroom. Believe me, I don't think that these two could be anymore bonded than they already are. They are fraternal twins and they are best friends, and share a bond that is probably as strong or stronger than the one my mom and I share.

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, I have twins that are now 3 years old. First off, one of my twins spent two weeks in the NICU, well the other one could come home. I was so devasted thinking that was going to break their bond spending the first two weeks apart. when they were both home, I did have them in the crib together but before they were even one, I seperated them. They didnt seem like they were sleeping comfortable and were always rolling over each other. They are now three and the best of friends. I think that no matter what, that special twin bond can not be broken. They take such good care of each other and are very protective of one another. Yes, at times they do play by themselves or one on one with thier older sister. But, I dont think you have anything to worry about. As they get older they will ralize what it is being a twin and what their sister means to them. Also, its good to let them develop their individuality.
Hope this helps.

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M.C.

answers from Stockton on

Hello J.,

When my twins turned 5 months old, my hubby and I put them in seperate cribs. I do not see why they would not be any more or less closer if they were or were not in one crib.

My twins were preemies as well as some of the other posters and their first week of life they were in seperate incubators and their second week of life they were in the same incubator. Then, when they came home until they were 5 months old they were in the same crib. Just some more information.

Today, my twins are 15.5 going on 16 months and they play (fight) together all day long. If this does not bring them close together, I do not know what will.

Hope this helps you....M.

J., I am member of the San Joaquin Mother of Twins Club that is a great club to be a part of. Your twins can play with other twins their age and you can have girls night out, there are garage sales, if this is what your chapter does, and charity in the club. Here is the link to the California chapters: http://www.nomotc.org/index.php?option=com_clubsearch&amp...

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi! I have twins as well. Mine are boy/girl twins, William & Emma, and they're 10 months old. I have always had this concern because they would NEVER sleep together, except when they were newborn. They have never liked to be swaddled, so if they slept together, they would end up flayling their arms and legs and waking eachother up. Our pediatrician (Kaiser/Fontana) assures us that they get enough "together" time while playing and it really won't matter that they didn't sleep together. Our boy is about 5 lbs larger then our girl, so we are always on the lookout for his sort of "bully" behavior, which the pediatrician says is also normal. Try not to worry. I have a LOT of friends with twins and some slept them together, and some did not. All are just fine and are very close with eachother. I hope that helps!

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A.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have twins that just turned 15 yesterday! Wanna trade? LOL
My twins slept in their own cribs from 6 mos till 2yrs. When I got them thier own twin beds they chose to sleep together on their own. Put them to bed seperate or not....they slept togehter when they wanted too. When we checked on them we were glad they were asleep and okay. Don't worry they will be fine and encourage thier individuality. It makes them stronger people. I interviewed and read enough books to know this is a good thing. Twins that are to dependent on each other have more problems...

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S.V.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J.,
My name is S. and I am the mother to 9 year old boy/girl twins. My twins slept in the same bed until they were about 5 or 6 months old but for most of that time they weren't really asleep at the same time or even necessarily in the bed at the same time. As for your question as to whether or not your twins will be close as they get older, I definitely feel that twins have a special bond because they experience everything in life together no matter where they sleep or even if they enjoy playing with each other. Mine fight from time to time and definitely have different personalities but in the end are each others best friends. Hope this helps and if you would like any more advice about twins I'd be happy to offer any.

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J.G.

answers from Sacramento on

I have ID twin girls who slept together until they were about four or five months when they started to wake each other up. They sleep so much better apart. They just had their first birthday in January. They spend all day together playing and you can see that they are close. If they are not to gether they look for one another. Twins seem to just have a special bond and I don't think sleeping apart is going to hurt their relationship. My girls steal each others toys and knock each other down but they give each other kisses too. I know they love each other.

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R.S.

answers from San Francisco on

we put our twins in seperate cribs at 5 months too. because they started pinching, pulling, kicking and rolling on top of eachother. they are super close. when one of them is crying or upset the other one brings her toys or a lovey. it's sweet. i don't think having them in seperate cribs is going to diminish their bond.

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G.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have twin second cousins. I know that their parents had them sleep in their own cribs when it was time to sleep. I remember there was times that my cousins use to get annoy with each other as babies and as they grew they had their own thing going on. Even now, they are 12 yrs old and omg, they get so annoy with each other (like siblings do) and yet enjoy each other to. I feel that you are putting to much pressure on them right now.... remember they are babies still and they are still getting their own character traits. Give them time. That is all they need.

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear J.,

Yes, they will be close and each other's best friend. And by having them sleep in separate cribs, you are giving them some independence too, which they will need to be, as well as being close.
The annoynce that they show in play is just normal, and it also shows that they both have strong personalities, and they will work out their partnership soon. Perhaps this annoyance is a beginning of their being able to understand each other.

Never fear, and have a wonderful marriage.
Sincerely, C. N.

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

It's normal for them to be like that. At some point they have a contest to see who will be the more dominant twin. When they figure that out i'm sure the behavior will change. Think about it too. Siblings fight no matter if they are twins or not. You aren't doing anything wrong. It's also good for them to be like that because when school comes along they may be separated into separate classrooms. It will make the transition alot easier for them. No matter what they will always have the special bond because they are twins.

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T.L.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi J.. My brothers are twins. They are franternal not indentical, but we still mix them up sometimes. lol. I assure you that they will feel a special bond as they grow older. You may see them finishing sentences, wanting to dress alike, etc. Whatever you do, let them be different. You can dress them alike and hope they will be best friends and stuff, but the truth is that they are very different people. Everyone needs a little indivuality. I hope I spelled that right. They are going to fight no matter what you do. This might just show you how close they really are. Don't be worried ok? Everything will turn out just fine! Best Wishes, T.

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