Any One Have a Non-Traditional Wedding Ceremony?

My husband and I got married 4 years ago. Neither one of us wanted a big wedding. What was important was that we were making a commitment to one another and that we had a few friends and family present. We decided to get marred at The Mall of America. They have a very nice chapel there. I believe it's on the 3rd floor next to Macy's. It's called the Chapel of Love. I know the name sounds cheesey, but it's actually a really nice place. Afterwards, we all went to Twin City Grill for lunch and then walked around the mall. It was so much fun and everyone we meet now enjoys the story of how we got married. Congrats and good luck!

We wrote our entire ceremony - not just the vows. The minister that performed it was sent the ceremony a few weeks before to look over it and get to know it.

When we started looking, the first minister we spoke with wasn't comfortable letting us write our own ceremony - so we found someone else.

I've always said- I want a marriage, not a wedding! My hubby and I got married at the courthouse 7 years ago. The ceremony took like 10 minutes and it wasn't religious at all. Then we went to my in-laws home and had a big backyard party with a taco guy and 3 kegs of beer. It was a blast. So many people came up to us after and said it was the funnest wedding they had ever been to. So just talk with the pastor and if he won't do what you want then find one who will. I think a lot of people are writing their own vows now a days. Good Luck on everything!

If your pastor is OK with what you want to do, you're all set.
Write your own vows with his input; perhaps suggestions
to help you word them so that they meet your and his requirements.
Good luck!

MY Husband and I got married the first time in the court, he was 17 i was 18, in october before i turned 25 he asked me to marry him again (never divorced, just wanted to make it "official" in the eyes of God). We called our church, we got married on a Tuesday, I wore a bergundy (sp) dressm and he wore kackies (sp) and a white short sleeved button down shirt, after we had a small party in my aunts back yard, all (inculding clothing) cost less than $500.00. it was EXACTLY what we wanted

We elected to use traditional vows, but when we met with our priest he was very clear that writing your own was OK and welcome as long as there were certain components. I don't recall what they three were, but I know that you needed to have a specific statement in there about commiting to a permanent union.

If you are marrying in your church, meet with your minister and ask about your options. We are Catholic, so I thought we had one set of vows. In actuality there were 4 or 5 "Catholic" vows and we had the option of writing our own.

I checked out a couple books (ideas on non-traditional weddings, poetry books, short stories on successful marriages) and informally interviewed our parents and close friends and then wrote the entire ceremony start to finish. And you know what, our guests were actually LISTENING. Many spoke to us during the reception how much they liked this line or that word. That a certain part made them laugh and cry at the same time. Our family and friends must also have been kinda ho-hum about the parroting of for-better-for-worse-til-death-do-you-part. Not a single person expressed any offense or made any statements about the non-official/not-really-religious tenor of our ceremony.

I got married in Vegas and the ceremony wasn't overly religious--but it stuck!
Don't dwell on the details--do it however you'd like.
You can go to a courthouse & be married in about 15 minutes if that's your preference with no vows involved.

In Alaska everyone is allowed to marry one couple. We had my best friend marry us with all our friends and family surrounding us. The ceremony was outside and it was very nice and meaningful! Completely non-traditional though. We had a big delicious meal afterwards with everyone and our friends who were musicians broke out their instruments. We had a great time! (Like anywhere we had to do the paperwork at the courthouse and have two witnesses sign). Almost every friend in AK that got married while we lived there also had non-traditional weddings so it seemed pretty normal to me!

The biggest bugaboo I see with this is that if YOU and your church are not convinced God will see you as married (since you are forever wed to your first spouse), what is your minister doing marrying you? That said, I'm assuming you DO have a minister to marry you, which (I hope) means he/she sees you as married before God...since you say you are both religious, and that matters to you, and since you have gone to the trouble of a church wedding with a minister, and all the thought involved in making this right, AND since you are determined to make it work this time, if you haven't broached the subject of previous marriages, divorce, and how you believe God sees all that, I would kindly suggest you talk to your minister about this issue. Frankly, I am with you 100%--I would be feeling the same way--and would be heartbroken to think that my beautiful marriage was not a godly marriage...perhaps your minister can put some concerns to rest? And, from that discussion, you can perhaps delve into the legal and spiritual ramifications of the vows you pledge to each other.

You can make your wedding whatever you want it to be. If you want a church wedding then you need to consult with your pastor about how the ceremony and vows will go. We were married in the evening, in an Elks Hall, by a marriage counsellor. I waltzed down the aisle with my dad (on the dance floor where I learned to dance.) We said most of the basic vows and added a native marriage prayer. We signed the paperwork after our vows (to make it all official) and then were announced as husband and wife. Our entire ceremony was 12 minutes (my husband's friend timed it ;) Afterwards, we pushed the chairs back and made room for dancing. Everyone told us how nice it was to be at a short wedding. They all seemed to enjoy themselves. Make this what you and your husband want and can afford...it makes for much less stress on the big day. :)

We crossed the state line and got married 22 yrs ago and I don't feel like I am any less married than someone who has a big bru ha ha.

We've offered our daughter her wedding fund $ in cash if she elopes, LOL. She's gonna get us though....Big dreams for the Big wedding blowout. Oh well, at least we've saved for it plus, she is almost 16, maybe she'll change her mind.

Congratulations.

My dh and I had an independent minister (not affiliated with any church per se, but holding a certificate to marry - or whatever the state calls that license) preside over our ceremony (purely for the legality with the state), but we wrote our own words as we are both of alternative religion backgrounds. We formatted our beliefs and feelings, speaking to, and pledging our hearts to each other, without all the traditional trappings provided by the minister. We put our own unique twists on the 'traditional' ceremony (I was 9 months pregnant when we were finally able to get the ceremony done -- not what we wanted, but sometimes you just can't prevent jobs from getting in the way!), so instead of walking down an aisle from center, my brother literally rolled me in from the left side on a hand-cart! Then when the minister asked if anyone objected (apparently a state-required statement), my dh flipped a coin and asked his best friend to "call it in the air". Our ceremony was full of laughter and jokes, but our promises to each other for a lifetime of love and happiness were spoken from our hearts, thus (IMO), approved by The Creator, regardless of our past relationship status. I don't believe any known Higher Power would disapprove of the love between two people (this is my third and most successful marriage; his first) as long as you speak from your soul and pledge yourself to the one you're with. We found out from our Minister what phrases were needed from them for the State legalities (they apparently vary from state to state), and sprinkled them (sparingly) into the mix. Also, if you have children from previous relationships, (as our minister provided on her own before declaring - for the state - us married) it is a wonderful experience for them to be joined to the new family member as well. My dh had spoken with our minister apart from me regarding my two children, proclaiming his love for, and eagerness to provide for them as his own blood children. She (the minister) advised dh give each of the children a trinket that they would understand as their own pact with their 'daddy' (they know their bio-dad, but don't spend time with him), and they in turn provided him with their own token of their love and acceptance of him. In the end, we appeased all aspects of legality, state and religious alike, as well as tears of laughter and joy to our family and friends who witnessed our joining. I know there are a few religions who hold their own joining ceremonies (i.e.: Wiccan handfasting, Native American gift exchange/binding) without all the heavy traditional rites from structured religious organizations. I hope this helps. Good luck in your quest for answers, and best wishes for a wonderful and fulfilling life with your chosen one.

For the religious part, ask your priest or pastor.

A civil ceremony "sticks" just as much as a church/synagouge/mosque/etc. We were married by a judge in a city park with family and friends. There was no aisle. Kids rode their bikes nearby. My sister played her violin. We read our own vows. Afterward, we took everyone out for Italian and bought Chianti and it cost less than $800 bucks (including my thrift-store dress). We've been married 20 years.

What's most important is your and your husband's attitude toward marriage. If you both are good for your word, and you both vow that marriage is for life, through thick and thin, then marriage is forever.

Lord knows that my husband and I have been through some truly awful stuff in the last 20 years. But because of our attitude, we never took the easy way out (divorce) and both decided to invest and work things out.

Have whatever kind of wedding YOU want. If other people disagree, that's their problem. Marriage is marriage is marriage.

I'm in a bi-cultural marriage. We were married by a JP who allowed us to incorporate aspects of both of our faiths (I wanted the candle and the Lords Prayer, he had a special prayer he wanted to say). So I say, do whatever you want, and more power to you!

BTW, you should be married by the state in addition to making a covenant. Here's one example of why: If, God forbid, anything should happen to either of you, then you are legally next of kin to make medical decisions.

Why get married in a church, especially considering you don't believe God is going to consider you married?? I got married at a romantic little bed and breakfast where the proprietor was the officiant, and we wrote our own vows. It was very nice and personal. If you're set on getting married at a church, there's a big likelihood that there will be a religious aspect, but you could probably talk to the pastor to find out how much of the ceremony you can write.

I got married in Vegas on the Bridge of the Starship Enterprise. It was fun and awesome. It's not there anymore, but they still have lots of great places to get married there, it's not all getting married by Elvis, although that's a possibility if you like it. It was a protestant minister that married us, which was weird for me, but later we had a really small Catholic vow validation, so that we could be married in the church too, but it was just a few of us, not even a mass.

I think if your pastor is comfortable with allowing you to write your own vows or even assisting in you writing a set acceptable to all, then that would be your best bet. When my hubby and I married after a first marriage for both of us, we worked with our wedding officiate to create a set of vows we were happy with and which were a nice compromise between traditional and non-traditional. For instance we did a segment of repeat after me vows with our rings but then we did something non-traditional where we threw flower petals as a symbol of releasing our past lives and moving forward together as a couple. At any rate you should do what you are both comfortable with. As for our attire my dress was most certainly not white but it suited our occasion. Likewise my hubby selected a special shirt which he has since worn. I personally love to see him wear his shirt and it never fails to garner compliments since it is hand dyed silk with a one of a kind embroidered detail. Good luck, have fun and make it your own special day.