2 1/2 Year Old Acting Out - Hoffman Estates,IL

My almost 3 year old son is dealing with a new baby sister (5 mo.) and although he hasn't acted out against her yet....some of his "love" is not exactly gentle. From other moms I have talked to....pushing and taking toys etc is normal for the older child. I think you are doing the right thing with trying to spend more focused, positive time with your son. Even doing everything right (which is totally exhausting)...our children will still act out. I think they have to go through, deal with the sharing of mom and dad....and know that we love them no matter what. You will all get through it.

I've read the responses & the advice sounds good! The only thing I'd add, is watch your 10 month old too. If he takes a toy from your older son, reprimand him in an appropriate way too. Same with other activities. Just make sure you're consistent with both so your older son knows your on his side too! That may help prevent some of the acting out!

J.,

I too have two wonderful boys. My oldest is 3 1/2 and youngets is 13 months. My oldest still does things to his little brother almost seems like he does it just to see what we all do. Anyways the stage your son is going through is really tough. I remember being exhausted to the point of feeling hopeless like what else I could do to stop the behavior. My husband and I did exactly what you are doing and continued to do it for about a year before we saw a real difference. We began to see our older boy giving things to our youngets and actually playing with him. I will say when our youngest became mobile was the toughest stage for our oldest son. Now it is not so bad. We have our moments but overall he treats his brother kindly. Hang in there and keep being consistent.

Good Luck.

M.

Hi J.,

It sounds like you are doing a great job. I had this exact thing happen with my son who is now 3 1/2 (4 in December), and there's really no easy answer, I'm sorry to say. I did notice my son turned a bit of a corner at 3 1/2 and started making better decisions and getting into trouble much less. But now he talks back and is defiant to me and his daddy, so we're having to work on that. :o) There will always be something, but as long as you are consistent, you will get through it. Just try your best to take one day at a time! Good luck and many blessings to you and your precious babies!

Do my boys live with you? We are going through the same thing...my oldest is almost 3 and my youngest is 17 months. They are very close and play together all the time, BUT my oldest will purposely knock the little one down...he'll run past him and almost hip-check him. He'll take toys from him just to make him mad and just flat-out push him. We're doing the same thing...timeouts and then discussing what he did and having him tell his brother he's sorry and give him a kiss/hug. I hate to tell you but, we're not making much progress here. Just wait till your little guy can hit back...real fun! :O) My oldest is pretty good at not hitting or pushing his brother when he does something to him, but they scream at each other and I also feel like they're teenagers. It seems like they antagonize each other all day, YET they are so close and play so well together too.

Sorry I wasn't much help, but I at least wanted you to know you're not alone. Good Luck and let me know if you come up with anything that actually works!! :O)

Ah, the TERRIFIC two's. =) My boys were not that close in age so when my youngest was 10 mos, the oldest was almost 5 and we did not have these issues. Mostly because it was my younger one who did the hitting! He is still like that actually! Try getting your oldest engaged in his own activities during the day. Maybe that will distract him so he does not beat up on his younger brother. I commend you for actively involving each boy while the other naps but that sounds tiring. Keep commenting on the good behavior and that might eventually sink in. In the meantime, try to focus on the good. The oldest is feeling the heat with all attention on the baby no doubt (it happens no matter how much you try to equalize your doting) and him always getting into trouble is a real drag for him. Redirect him, gently reassure him that he is nice with the baby (and all babies for that matter) and maybe get him a dolly to take care of. I'm sure you can find one that is not wearing a pink outfit!

Good luck Mama!!!

More than likely it's sibling rivalry. Don't punish he elder boy for every single thing he does. Take him by the arm and explain how he would not like it if a larger 5 year old boy pushed or shoved him all over. Keep the older one with you MOST of the day so he can help you with the baby. They'll become closer some day and you'll see that you fretted for nothing. Don't forget that the little guy has to be prepared in this world for the bigger kids that will come up against him during his whole life and you won't be there to SAVE him. It's rough mommy but you'll toughen up also.