Wedding Gift Thank You Card?

Those people who think its not a big deal probably don't send thank you notes and those of us who think its tacky probably always send thank you notes.

I am a sender.

Better then nothing, right? Most people don't even send nowadays. (Not that I agree or disagree with either, just acknowledging a trend.)

I don't care, to be honest. I NEVER give with expectations. I think that is just as rude. I always write thank you notes, but I don't expect others to.

A thank you is a thank you, no matter the form, what does it matter?
Even if I don't get a thank you card for something (which is rare) I don't assume they didn't send it, sometimes things get lost in the mail.
Sometimes I feel like I should send a thank you card to the new couple for inviting US to their wedding because I feel they spent a LOT of money on a very nice party that I was happy to attend. I don't think that new blender even began to cover the cost of the food and booze and music I personally had a blast eating and drinking and dancing to!

Uh yeah, we've gotten two of them and I was not too thrilled with it. I also found it rude and tacky. I mean seriously, the picture is kind of cute, but at least write a personal note on the back to thank me for the $100 gift I sent you. Sheesh. And the last wedding we went to we didn't get a picture or a thank you.

I know, I know, I'm giving a gift out out of the goodness of my heart and since it's a gift I shouldn't always expect a thank you, but honestly for a wedding, it's just plain rude I think!

I'm sure your family member maybe got some grief from his mother, MIL or other traditional family members and maybe that's why he's defensive, but I'm sorry to say that he is right, it may become the new norm, but why are we surprised with all this technology people don't actually communicate any more! ;)

Yes, I have heard of it, but most of the time, the couple includes a personal note on the back of the picture thanking you for specifically what you gave.

I'm traditional, like you.

I will blow a gasket if my kids did this.

A lot of people have NO understanding of etiquette - they get their info from some friend who got married who heard from their second cousin that thank yous aren't required, blah blah blah. So, the groom is someone whose parents didn't make him write thank you notes or teach him how important it is to be grateful and appreciative.

And a lot of people say "this is how things are done now" as a justification for doing as little as possible.

If you gave a check and it was cashed, then you know they got it. Based on his response to the question about the aunts' gifts, and his defensiveness, you can guess that most likely they got everything and just sent a generic thank you disguised as a Christmas card. If you gave cash, I have to suggest you allow for the possibility that reception wait staff or even some wedding crashers (it's a big thing, not just in movies) lifted the envelopes. This happened to friends of mine about 6 years ago and I've heard it's a frequent occurrence at many weddings. That's why I really never take a gift to the wedding or reception - I mail it or I take it to the house personally. And theft is a reason why a lot of people hire a house sitter for the bride's house during the wedding!

If it makes you feel better, I got a thank you 15 months after a wedding - with no indication that it was written so long afterwards. I guess it was better than some lame excuses about why they were late, but I find it really offensive. I think it's because I ignore their birthdays after I didn't get a wedding thank you! But who knows. This bride was actually brought up to write a lot of timely thank yous, but somehow she got it into her head that she wasn't opening any gifts until after the wedding/honeymoon, so they could open things as a married couple. Fine, but they never sent anything to people saying "Your gift arrived and we hope you will forgive us, but we really want to open it after the wedding when we are Mr. & Mrs." So no one knew if their gifts had been received. And absolutely no effort was spared in doing all kinds of crazy, unnecessary items for the wedding - stuff no one cared about. Like hand-gluing the invitation to the backing and then sticking a little pocket on the back for all the extras like the reply card and the entree selection card.

And by the way - 40 years ago absolutely NO ONE included a reply card let alone a stamped envelope. Invitees were expected to know how to write a proper response either accepting or declining. But because everyone set aside the tradition of decent manners, reply cards were instituted. (It also made a lot more money for the invitation and printing industries.) So the decline of etiquette has been ongoing.

It is rude, ungrateful, and lazy!! Drives me crazy. I actually hadn't heard of that one, but have seen similar things. My daughter went to a birthday party and when we got home, there was a xeroxed paper that said 'thanks for the gift'. Huh? Ridiculous. I don't care if it's the trend, it's just ridiculous.

My BIL and SIL have never acknowledged one single gift from us to them or their kids- ever. We don't take it out on the kids, but by the time they are old enough to at least text us or thank us on the phone, we're done. They can't be bothered to thank us all these years, but when they graduate high school, you bet they can muster up the time and energy to send us an announcement. We send a card in response, no money. Done. I don't send gifts for the purpose of getting a thank you, but if I'm not thanked I am sure as hell not spending any more time and money as a reward for rude behavior.

Whew, you got me all riled up! :)

Sounds cheap and rather lazy to me, it's kind of like double dipping with the XMas /thank-you combo card. If they had hand written a note on the back, it would be better. At least it's better than nothing. I once attended a wedding where my husband and I gave them $ for a gift, I only knew they actually got it because the check cleared.

I purchased a wedding gift from a rather high end retail establishment here in my home town in May 2010. They were out of the registered item, so I opted to have a gift card sent in the same amount.

We attended the beautiful wedding and enjoyed a wonderful night of dinner, dancing and drinks. I never received an acknowledgement of the gift. NOW, i am worried that the couple didn't receive their gift and I'm hesitant to trust this shop for my bridal shopping.

The wedding couple really needs to consider the stress it would RELIEVE others by just acknowledging a gift, right?

If it's a new trend, it's not a good one! When somebody goes out of the way to send a gift, a thank you note needs to be sent. Did I LOVE writing 100+ thank you notes from our wedding--nope. But, I was thankful and it was the right thing to do.

My husband's friend got married a few years ago and we were unable to go (I was 8 months pregnant and we lived 1500 miles away). We sent a very nice gift card and never got a thank you note. My in-laws were invited and did attend, but did not receive a TY note either.

What's even more weird to me is they combined the generic "wedding thank you" with their Christmas card... lazy and killing 2 birds. So what, no Christmas card at all for someone who didn't go to their wedding or didn't get a gift?
This is not happening in the circles I'm running in, but I am not surprised.

I have seen this, and it is usually from younger couples who might not normally send a thank you card out at all. I feel that at least it is something. My best friend was able to make postcards with a generic thank you message and a beautiful photo of them at the wedding, but she left space and wrote underneath the generic message a specific thank you to each recipient.

It's not surprising. Things 20 years ago are quite different than today. People want want want, they send the save the date, they email reminders, you get a note of where they're registered as to be sure to not forget, and they're swimming in money and gifts. You would THINK they could take a few minutes to send a simple thank you.

And don't get me started on RSVPs. NO ONE does this anymore and it kills me.

The Christmas card was the thank you. Something is better than nothing, I guess. Not everyone follows the traditional process for sending thank you's and some people don't think they should send anything. I have no problem sending thank you cards, but I realize that not everyone does this.

Yes, I have heard of it.

I think it sucks.

No I have not. (Thank goodness!)
I think it's rude and ungrateful.

Trendy or not, it's tacky and lazy. If someone goes through the trouble of giving a gift and/or attending an event as time consuming as the wedding, the least the bride and groom can do is to sent a personal, hand-written thank you card. While it's nice to get them out within a month I don't think that two months is egregiously bad form, but for them to think that their etiquette obligation ends with a mass-mailed note of general thanks is wrong. Their parents must be mortified.

ETA: In a way you're right that "it's the thought that counts" - in this case, there IS no thought.

I have seen it and I really don't think its a big deal, I thought they were nice. I mean they could have sat there and signed their names on them maybe, but it didn't bother me that they didn't. It's really the thought that counts

This is a growing trend for the last 5-7 years. I think it simply means they are lazy and weren't taught propper manners. I am young but it bugs me too! My daughter is 5 and I just made her fill out handwritten thankyous for her christmas presents! It may be too much, but it was greatly appreciated and gave me pats on the back as her mom making her so this. If any of these brides read an etiquette book on how to plan your wedding (like my mother made me) they would realize this is unacceptable. But might I say I am still getting rave reviews on my wedding 8 years later every time I see my relatives (and it pisses off the newlyweds in my family who never hear a word about how their weedings were!). Come on parents, teach your children a little more about manners and etiquette and it iwll benefit their lives tremendously (better job interviews, better college acceptances)!

I haven't heard of that trend..... Sounds tacky to me.

Emily Post says 3 months after a wedding is the latest thank you notes should be sent. Maybe the groom is unaware of the bride's plan to send thank you notes. So maybe you'll still get one! My opinion is that a formal thank you should always be sent for each gift received.

I have seen it done for kids birthday parties but not a wedding. (But to be honest it has been a long time since we've been to a wedding...)

Weddings are a much more formal event and wrought in tradition. I don't ever see this going over well with the guests.

My husband & I attended a wedding that had the new couple held up thank you cards... but the couple wrote on the inside thanking us for the money and for sharing in their special day.

I think it's just laziness on their part

I have seen this and am afraid it's trendy :(. On the one hand, I get it...who really wants to write 50 thank-you's when you already had bridal showers and gift openings and said thank you in person. On the other hand...as a gift giver, even if the hand written thank you is generic...I still want it! lol.

I hate to admit that I did this for my daughters bday party...it was just family (she was 2) and we opened the gifts in front of them, and she & I said thank you to each person individually...and then I found this really cute site that did these picture thank you's and couldn't resist. Really wish I would've slipped a note in with them. Even though it was a time-saver, I STILL feel guilty about this, lol and am not doing it with my son's party this weekend lol.

I really do hope it's a trend that dies off...or I fear next trend is going to be a mass thank you message on facebook!

I don't mind the trend, but they should have personalized them with notes. Even if a person plans to do a "special" thank-you, he/she should still always find a way to say, "Hey, I got it." That's just a courtesy.