Seeking Advice on How to Show Appreciation for Friend's Hand-me -Downs.

How wonderful to see my first instinct reflected so often here! I, too, don't think that she needs (or wants) anything else. The best thing you can do is to "pay it forward". When you are finished with the clothes, give them to someone else who needs them. I know that when I do something for someone, I don't need anything more then the good feeling that I get, and I think what you did already was lovely. I would have liked that.

I have a neighbor I have given a ton of stuff to.Every once in awhile she bakes something for me and I love the treats.I thinkif you bake something for her on the holidays it is a really nice way to say thank you.

She probably doesn't expect anything other than your appreciation. If you REALLY want to do something special, how about getting them a family membership to the local zoo, science center, children's museum, etc? The whole family could enjoy that!

I have been giving hand-me downs out regularly to a family who has 6 or 7 kids. It's a joy to me. If I didn't have them to hand them to, I would give them to the local Mission project. Either way, I would expect nonthing in return. And frankly, I get so much joy over knowing the clothes are being used, and sometimes I get to see my friend's children wearing something that belonged to my kids, and memories come flooding back, and it's wonderful for me. It's such a gift to be able to do this, and to see that the clothes are being used and enjoyed. I would never want anything back. If your neighbor wanted you to pay her, she would have brought the clothes to a second time around shop. Probably all the pay she would want is for you to find someone to hand them to after your children grow out of them.

How about allowing your daughter to have a "fashion show" for you. Take photos & pick out two or three to include in your thank you note, or you could even find an inexpensive frame & frame the nicest photo as a gift for her. This way she'll have a memento of your appreciation for her generosity. Along the same lines, if you have a digital camera, you can take the photos & then go to wal-mart & make her a 4X6 album at the Kodak Picture Maker kiosk for under $10. You can add as few as 10 or as many as 36, I think. I love making those little albums for my in-laws. They're great for carrying in a purse or displaying on the coffee table. You can add text & choose your own backgrounds. This is a VERY versatile gift that's pretty inexpensive! :) Good luck.

J.,
I gave my maternity clothes to a friend of mine and she expressed her verbal appreciation and gave me a gift certificate to a restaurant, but her best gift to me was to allow me to see her wearing and enjoying the clothes. I am sure that your friend feels the same way. The fact that she continues to give you the clothes shows that she knows you will put them to good use.

I give my son's clothes to my sister-in-law and her expression of joy is plenty for me. If she is a good friend, she doesn't expect anything in return. With that said, I know it is difficult to receive, I always feel that I have to do something great in return.

I agree with PP, your friend obviously does this because she cares about you and your family! Just saying thank you makes it all even more worthwhile. Although if you really want to, you could have the girls make her little gifts, like maybe your 3 yr old could color a "special" picture for her and be EXTRA careful about staying in the lines! :) That would be make "extra" special! :) Good luck!

The thank you notes and gift seem appropriate on your part, but if you still want to show your appreciation, maybe an offer to babysit her daughter on occasion would suffice.

J.,

It's so nice you want to do something. My friend has been giving hand-me-downs to me for years...now our daughters, ages 13 (mine) and 17 (hers) are the same size, so no more hand-me-downs, but our friendship is close, give and take, and I never felt the need to do something specific re the clothes, since we do things for each others' families all the time. I also have given my son's clothes to her son, when they were very little, but as they are just 1 month apart (my son, the younger, being the taller one), that doesn't happen much anymore, other than with cleats, dress shoes, etc. I also hand down (or donate) all of my daughters' and sons' clothes, and I never expect anything in return. I just look at it as a cycle of friendship.

If you want to do something, I don't think you need to spend $$. This hand-me-down thing could go on for another decade. You don't want to feel like you have to buy something each time, and your friend might not want to continue giving hand-me-downs if you buy her something for them. (I would be very uncomfortable if I gave my kids' clothes to a friend or family, and in return I was getting presents.) I like the idea of reciprocating with your time. In essence, that's what my friend and I do, very informally. Her son mght spend a Saturday with us, my son might spend another Saturday with them, my friend's husband might take the boys to the movies, another time I might take the boys mini golfing, etc.

Good luck, and enjoy those clothes!

Hi J.,

I have been in that situation as well. I have both a boy and a girl 3 and 5 and I hardly had to buy either any clothes or shoes yet. The clothes are coming from family however, I feel very greatful and blessed. I have been rotating them to other friends in need. What goes around comes around. It amazing but true. The more you give the more you will get in return. I love giving to others. So, I know my sister in law enjoys passing them along. In return every now and than when it seems as though they may need it, I get them a gift card to Giant or where ever she shops. I personally think that it's a great gift. Groceries are so expensive so I know I am helping her and the family out in some way!

I hope this helps!

A. P
http://www.healthandwealthdna.com

I am also a mom who passed a bounty of clothing to a friend and really expected nothing in return. I was completely shocked when my friend gave me a very generous gift card for a thank you. When I gave her the next size of clothing, I had to make my friend promise - no gift cards. What I really wanted was to spend some time together and catch up. She recently had twins and I have been busy with my kids. We have upcoming plans for a girls night out. My point....ask your friend is there some way you can show thanks. It may be simple (or not so simple :) like a get together without kids.

It's a nice thought to want to do more to say thank you. How about making her family dinner? Mailing them a gift card with a Christmas card? Offer to watch her children for a night out. Take her to a movie and dinner. Think of too though that if it were you giving things away to a friend, would you need to have a big thank you in return? Try not to feel like it's a need to give back in some way, but it was a very nice gesture!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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How about cooking a meal for them? Or baking them something to give along with the thank you. Most of us are really busy, so something like that would be really appreciated.

Hi

How about a gift card to Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks?

Also, a family meal--Olive Garden etc. No matter what the amt they will appreciate it.

Good luck.

D. :)

I have teh same thing here some lady gives me clothes for my children adn she would not take anything fo rit, so i bought a gift card for her and her husband to go oout to eat and i watched the kids for the evening. They liked it very much.
Jade

I think just sending her little signs that you are putting the clothes to good use is thanks enough. I would love to find someone that I could give some of our "barely used" clothes to. Just knowing that my money wasn't wasted (whether it be for my child or someone elses) would be great. I have resorted to dropping items at goodwill because I can't justify throwing them away and it would be a nightmare to give them to someone who wouldn't use them. I envy her. I wish I had a reliable friend/neighbor who would take - and use - the clothes that my kids grow out of. Then maybe I could get them out of the basement, the attic, and the closets!

Basket of homemade goodies is always a welcomed treat!

i have had this same "issue" or trouble myself - so what i tend to do is one of the following: either pci up an out fit or a few clothes (usually on sale) in the other persons size and give them to them - sort of to contribute if you will - and/or get a gift cert to a clothing store and/or toys r us - then i try my hardest to "follow on" meaning i GIVE hand me downs as much as i can - i feel like i am comepleting the cycle!

Maybe you could offer to watch her daughter/kids so she could go out and enjoy an afternoon to herself (to shop, go to the spa, just sit at home in total silence!). Or invite her and the kids on a playdate to Chuck E. Cheese/Monkey Joes or something like that on your tab. Just a thought! =)

I would think your girls wearing them is a huge thank you...don't worry.

I gave a friend of mine a Kids Coupon Book when she gave my daughter hand-me-downs. She loved the book and had a years worth of coupons to do fun things with the kids.