Name Game

Hi L.,

I have a friend since grade school and we both have boys that have about 3 months between them. My son is the older of the two. We both ended up naming them the same first name :)
It has never been a problem for us or the boys....
I wouldn't worry about it personally, besides how many other kids his age may have the same name once they are in school and all....
hope this helps

Name her whatever you would like...it doesn't matter. No one really cares in the end and you should do what you want.

Plain and simple. You were pregnant first. You found out gender first. You get the name first :) If she has a problem with it, she can choose a different name :P

Sorry.. I am pregnany too, and I've been a bit more blunt than normal lately...

Let it go.....Be happy and know that their are many people name the same name (SMILE)

I'd let it go. Whatever names you guys choose will not be as unique as you hope anyway and who's to say you'll even be friends with this family down the road? Certainly it's not worth risking your relationship over.

You shouldn't feel bad. What's the big deal about having the same name? They are not siblings, so it shouldn't matter. I wouldn't confront the situation, everyone is entitled to name their kids what they want.

Here's the thing with names...(and if she gets upset at some point you might want to share this with her)...it's your kid and you should name them what you want to regardless of how many other children are named that in the neighborhood/school/church. My only exception is when it comes to siblings or cousins, but even then its YOUR kid - if you like the name use it. My sister was Liesel and my cousin Lisa and they were born less then a month apart. At first it was a bit confusing for my grandparents, but now its like...who cares? As for the rest, you don't know if you'll live in that town 5 years from now...and even if you do, find a creative middle name or nickname/derivative so your child can feel unique - if that's an issue for them.

Our dear friends are expecting their first child a week after I'm expecting my second. Out of the blue the husband decided to name the child - if its a girl - the same name as my daughter, even using the same nickname. His wife was like, are you naming it after theirs? He was in shock since he'd not thought of that, but came up with the name and nickname off the top of his head. I thought it was really cute and wouldn't mind at all if they used the same name. I realize some people are more possessive, but hey, if you want sole claim to a name, then invent one, and make sure it isn't really cute and catches on. ;)

Best wishes. Another thing is this. We went through lots of names that we really liked and then ditched them after finding out we were having a girl. Those names haven't even come up on our radar this time around. She might move on to a different one eventually too, as might you.

Name her whatever you want.

Hello L.,
Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your first baby! As far as naming your little girl, I suggest you go with the name you like best, regardless of the fact that your friend likes this name as well. First, you could both use the name if she has a girl too. Second, you want to name your daughter the name you like best. Finally, your friend might not even have a girl. I was in your friend's situation when I had my second child. My best friend found out she was having a boy and named him the name I had in mind. We did not find out our baby's gender beforehand, and it turns out we had a girl so all was well. However, I was okay with using the same name if we did have a boy. To me and my friend, it was a compliment to her choice in a name that I wanted to use that name too. If your friend is a true friend, she will get over this. (It might take a little time however, if she is dealing with pregnancy hormones!) Blessings on the rest of your pregnancy!
Rachael

With all 3 of my kids, we didn't know the sex until birth. When people asked us about names, we just replied that we have to see the person, and then see what name fits! Seeing that she is so early in her pregnancy, she is just probably excited, and hers ( or your) mind can change a zillion times before the actual naming.
even if it doesn't, you name your child whatever you would like.

My Cousin and I were due two weeks apart her being due 1st. I found out I was having a girl and she had no clue as they couldn't tel in the ultrasound. I sent out my shower invitations and announced we'd be naming our DD Haylee. We went to a wedding the same weekend we mailed them out and I was talking to her and asked if she had names. She said if it was a girl like she thought it was she was going to name her either Hailey or Lauren. I said that's funny we are naming her Haylee didn't you get my invitation with the name announcement. Long story short she ended up naming her daughter Hailey. I decided I didn't care I had the name picked and people had made her things with that name an I'd been calling her Haylee since i was 15 weeks when they told me I was having a girl for sure. So even if you go with it she might still do that but she might not I don't really think it's a big deal.

If you are sure and you have already decided, then name your baby whatever it is that you choose. You have made a final decision, she just has it on a list and doesn't even know if she is having a girl yet. It's like the first come, first serve rule :)

I would not worry about the names. She is a friend but I'm sure she does not go everywhere you go and it is ok for the two girls to have the same 1st name. How would you handle this if you met a new friend and both of you had girls with the same 1st name. Name your daughter what you want and if she uses the same name That is her choice.

That's the danger of knowing all the information before the baby is born. Remind he and yourself that the health of the baby should be the first concern. Then remember whatever you name the child, as they get older they go by nicknames, etc. We had friends that had a girl 4 months before our daughter was born. THey are both names Nicole. One goes by Colie and the other by Nicole. Not a big deal. When my third son was born, my sister in law was pregnant with her first. I did ask if they had a special name picked out since it was their first. They did and we had chose the same name. Since it was a family name for her, we did decide on another name because we just "liked it". Within the family it is more difficult. Keep the friendship and don't sweat the small stuff. THey'll be in college before you know it!

Name your child whatever you like. She won't be the first or last person in the world with the same name. Your friend is trying to intimidate you don't let her.

I would just leave it alone. If she really likes it there will be two kids with the same name or maybe hers will be a boy and than it won't work anyway.

You just name your baby whatever you want and be done with it! So what if you guys name your babies the same thing...happens every day!

There is no rule that says you can't have daughters with the same name. My best friend's brother named his daughter the same name that I named my daughter a few years earlier. I was very flattered. :)

I completely understand!! I was real sensitive with names too - worried about hurting other people's feelings, honoring people's opinions, etc. In hindsight, a lot of that really was due to over-active hormones!! So, on one hand, just let it go!! On the other hand, keep in mind that your friend also is having overactive hormones and is probably laying awake at night worried about what you will think of her! You could ease her mind and say "I hope you don't rule out that name because we selected it also. I would feel a special bond with you if our daughters had the same name!" - and easing her anxiety will probably put the issue behind you and ease yours as well.

This is probably why people dont always share their names anymore. You are due first, you've got first dibs. If you truly love the name stick with it. I still to this day wish I would have named my 12 year old boy Ryan instead of Jesse (like his dad wanted) and I regret it.

Your baby will be born first! You picked the name first. Your friend has no right to get bent out of shape over this. She may not even have a girl!!!!! Also, you said that she said that the name you chose is ONE of the names she likes. She can pick another name or name her daughter (if it's a girl) the same name as your daughter. Really, don't worry about it. You're first. If she copies you, it's all on her!

You are right - it's the hormones :) I wouldn't worry about it. We named our daughter Lillian (Lily) and then about a year later, good friends (live different states now) named their daughter the same. They made kind of a big deal that she was named after their Grandmothers of something, but we didn't care. If you are really bothered by it and have another name you like, then it's up to you. But I wouldn't change your name. Congrats and good luck!

You baby is first, name it what you want. If she choses the same name that is her right as well.

I don't think it matters. She asked you what name you had chosen and you told her. Not the other way around and then you decided to use the name she had picked. She will either get over it and still use the name (which is not a big deal) or she may come up with a different one. She's not very far along so she has plenty of time to think about it. There were girl names that I had my heart set on for years and I have decided against them now that I am having a girl. Some of my reasons seem silly but I am still happy with the name my husband and I have chosen.

When i was pregnant for our daughter, I knew we were going to name her Kathryn Jo after my grandmother and my mom. After a couple months of my husband saying Katie Jo over and over again I decided we are NOT naming her that. (hormones). I then changed it to Josie until someone said "Grosie Josie".I decided to not tell anyone the name until she was born that way no one could critisize. So one day I was watching E! and there was a show about Natalie Wood. Low and behold that was the name. We chose Natalie Kathryn and did not tell a soul until her birth certificate was signed.
My point is you may change your mind several times before your daughter is born and I wouldn't worry about other people. They will get over it. And my advice is keep it a secret.

Name your child what you want. So what if they end up with the same name. It is your child and both you and your husband have to be happy with the name, that is all that matters. If she feels uncomfortable naming her child the same name then that is something she has to deal with. My parents maned me the same name as a friends daughter because they did not live in the area and we only saw them once in awhile, well they moved almost next door and it was no big deal.

I think it is the least of your worries at this time...It's not like your daughter will be the only one to have that name. Just consider this,you meet this mom after both of your kids are born, and it would be like how amazing we like eachother and are kids have the same name. It's not a big deal.....

First off if it is not family then it really should not matter. We have friends who used the same name we had picked out, but niether of us changed our minds. Ours is a family name we had picked for years. However, like I said if it is not the child of one of you or your husbands spouses then having the same name should not matter.

What's the problem? Your due date comes first. If your friend doesn't know if she has a boy or girl, I think you've got dibs on the name. besides, she didn't say she'd decided on the same name did she? Only that it's one she also liked.
Not a major calamity, L.. Don't stress over this, it isn't good for you or the baby. Good luck! I got 3 great sons but sure would've like one girl at least.

I remember being pregnant and situations like this meant more then than they do now. Ultimately, it is really no big deal (I am not saying you are making a big deal about it!) I think connecting with her would be good, making it a light conversation, with humor, honoring your friendship and acknowledging you are not surprised you like the same name, noting other things in your lives you have in common, I am sure there are many.

There are totally worse things in life than having the same name as a playmate, however, it does not feel that way when you are pregnant and beside the health of the baby, the biggest thing you concentrate on is choosing a name.

Other posts are right, it may even be a mute point, her baby could be a boy. And, she has many months to go, names come and go, she may not even feel the same way about it when baby is born.

It is not worth weakening a friendship over. Join together during this precious time of life. Have fun together! You may never be pregnant again at the same time!!

Also, info for both of you: If you are looking for a birthing method, check out the classes I teach for HypnoBirthing. www.YourPeacefulBirthing.com

Good luck with everything,
J.

If she was your sister it might be a different story, but I really wouldn't worry about it.

There's plenty of kids with the same name and it's not like you "took" her name.

My family thinks we're really mean but we refuse to tell anyone our kids names before they are born. It's just our thing!

I would just let it go. It is a compliment that she likes the name you picked out. When you are going to have a baby, it's always good to have a boy and girl name picked out. I carried my 2nd baby, a girl, the same way I carried my first, a boy. I only had a boy named picked out but picked a girls name only 2 weeks before she got here.

The same thing happened to me and my sister! I had my son and we had decided to name him Keiron, and my sister got a little upset because that was the name that she wanted. However, we came to the conclusion that since we had already decided on it and our child was coming first, we fell into the "first come first serve" rule.
Don't feel bad about what you're going to name your child. You have decided on a name, and a true friend would not make you change it. (my sister didn't hold a grudge, and didn't mind when we told her that we weren't going to change our choice).
Don't worry about it...really. The one thing I will tell you is that if you do decided to change your name choices, do it for you and your partner....not your friend.

L.,

She asked and you told her what you had already decided on or what you were seriously considering. Its not like she told you first and then you said the same thing. It's your baby you get to choose the name. Does she expect you to change your choice because she likes that name too? Too bad for her that your having your baby first, that puts the ball in her court. If she has a problem with using the same name let her change her mind about it. Otherwise its not a big deal. There are lots of people out there with the same names and we all handle it just fine!

Hi L.,

Just let it go. If she continue to has a problem with it, then it is not your problem. You chose your name. You could change your mind...but you certainly shouldn't entertain a different name just because a friend of yours likes the same one. You can name your child whatever you want to name her. And other people just have to deal with it. Kids WILL end up with the same names. Growing up I had 3 Amy's in just about all my elementary classes. In highschool, there was one other R. in my classes. It happens.

What would she have done if she too ended up with a girl and you chose to NOT tell anyone what you were naming your child. And to be honest, I don't see this as a 'this is what you get when you find out the sex before the birth'. This is just a potential issue when two friends are pregnant at the same time. It's life. Society goes through phases where some names are more popular then others.

Just let it go. Enjoy your pregnancy. Enjoy the life growing inside of you.

I agree with everyone else, just name your baby whatever you want.
And later if your friend names her child the same thing, then it is up to her.
If she doesn't like it, then she can name her baby something else.
It shouldn't affect you at all.
Don't worry about it, let it go, and just give your baby the name you chose for her.

Okay, it would be one thing if you were related or if she had told you she wanted that name and THEN you decided on it, but since you came up with it on your own and the kids won't be related... it doesn't really matter! I had 3 friends all the way through school with the same name. It really didn't matter. Even if you name your daughter that, she can still use it too. It REALLY won't matter. Use the name. You and your husband decided on that name and nothing anyone else can say or do should change that.