Weaning from Breastfeeding - Phoenix, AZ

Updated on July 18, 2007
L.C. asks from Austin, TX
9 answers

My daughter is 16 months old and still breastfeeding, in addition to eating 'adult' food. She can drink from a sippy cup or bottle, and has started drinking cow's milk at school. I don't mind still breastfeeding her at this age, but the frequency of it is driving me crazy. She will sometimes eat, stop, eat, stop, over and over. She just got over a fever that she had for several days, so I would get up when she cried at night because it was a pretty high fever and I did what I could to make her feel better. Of course last night, she kept waking up, probably because she liked having me come get her and feed her throughout the night. Anyway I am just wondering what has worked for other moms so I at least have some options to try. My husband and I are tired of the whining. Every time she asks for milk, I offer her regular cow's milk in a sippy cup, but she rarely wants that. Also have a hard time getting her to take naps and didn't used to, and she goes down for naps at school no problem.

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U.

answers from San Antonio on

I nursed until my daughter was two and we cut nursings out gradually. I explained it to her weeks in advance and we mentioned it every day. I told her I love nursing her but big girls don't do that as much as they get older. At 16 months, she can understand this. Ask her if she sees other big girls nursing (not that it will matter to her, of course, but it will create a mental picture of big girls not nursing). Be straitforward about it. Then say, "in one week, we're not going to be nursing at night any more." And here's the clincher-- you have to keep your word no matter what. If she screams when you cut the first nursing, she'll get it. Mom is serious and she'll feel like you're honest and trustworthy with your word, which is worth any amount of screaming. Then, when you're ready, cut another but give her ample warning. It worked great for us. I wish you luck. It isn't easy!

Oh- I'd advise not giving her a bottle at night or a paci or any other thing because you'll still have to get up to give it to her and it will create another dependancy. She'll make it through and so will you!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I co-slept, so getting up at night wasn't an issue - and after a while I could sleep though him pulling my shirt up... but it sounds like your daughter is enjoying the time with you - so if you're wanting to cut down on the frequency of the feedings, take up nursing pads, a tight bra and turtlenecks - seriously, no cleavage showing at all - and sit with her in an unfamiliar spot and read a book, or play with blocks, or teddy bears - whatever. My son (1/06) likes to knock down my block towers. Over and over and over again.

FTR, I first weaned my oldest at about 17 months - and then he got sick, and we went back to nursing - I didn't wean him from night feedings until he was 3 - and that was with kicking and screaming on his part - it took him several months to stop asking at night...and now, when I'm nursing the baby, if he's tired, he still tries to get in... so if you're going to wean, I strongly advise to just do it and get it over with, and don't go back to it under any circumstances. Or you'll just be weaning (again) when she's older and more determined.

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L.Z.

answers from San Antonio on

I nursed my daughter until she was around 3. The first 6 months was pretty regular, then mostly in the morning and at night, naptime and for boo boos. Eventually she took the bottle for the sitter, and i would try and pump and add it to the formula. Nursing was one of the most beautiful forms of love and communication i have ever experienced, but i definitely struggled with the demands it put on me.
I would make it clear to her that once she is done, she is done until the next scheduled nursing. For example, i would come up with "nursie" times, and acknowledge them by name, like nursie nap time, or nursie night night. When she pulls away, I will ask her, All done? if she doesn't return to the breast i would say "okay, all done " and tuck your shirt back in and let her know through your body language that you do not intend on inviting her back to the breast until the next feeding.
As far as feedings go, i would establish which things are for feeding and which are for drinking. If you are nursing her before breakfast in the morning, i would nurse, feed her the table food, and then if she wanted a drink later, i would give her the bottle or cup with another beverage besides that which are for feedings ie. juice or water. I wouldn't keep milk or formula on hand at all times for drinking, that way the milk is for feeding, and juice or water is for drinking. Nursing for a nap worked wonders for us, and eventually my daughter would get sleepy at nap time, drink her milk bottle, and then i would nurse her down for her nap time. She associated nap time with nursing, and took to the bottle at nap time for the daycare sitter.
Nursing provides so much intimacy between you and the baby that i think many times a baby will demand the breast for comfort rather than for sustenance. Maybe you could form another ritual or cuddle time when she gets whiny or clingy and try to put the focus on comforting her emotonally thru another form of intimacy, drawing her attention away from the nursing . Saying "all done, night night" can help her to realize that the "bar is closed" and that there are certain times that she can and cannot nurse.
i hope this helped the tiniest bit, and good luck to you. - lace Z

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J.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Dr. Sears and other pediatricians have long said that abrubt weaning can be somewhat traumatic for little ones, sometimes making them more clingy and dependent than they otherwise would have been. They recommend gradual weaning.

When weaning my son (he was 2), I started by telling him "not right now. I'll nurse you in a few minutes, OK?" I would then nurse him a few minutes later. If he didn't want to wait, I'd give him cow's milk in the meantime. He got used to this, and I started expanding the time that he had to wait. This led to far fewer feedings. After a week or two, he was down to three times a day: when he first woke up, before naptime (or during the day when he usually napped), and just before bed. I left the schedule like that for a week, then took out the naptime nursing. Then I told him we'd have a party for him when he no longer nursed, and made a game out of cutting out the last two feedings. He'd wake up and want to nurse, and I'd act very excited and urgent, and say, "OOh, ooh, let's get cow milk instead - then we can have your party sooner!" Persistent optimism on my part eventually won him over. We had his "Big Boy party a few weeks back, and now he's weaned.
This may seem to take too long, but if you are seeking longer times between nursing, well, that part happens fairly quickly.

Nursing a baby until it is two is not unheard of. The World Health Organization and the American Medical Association both endorse breastfeeding, *at least* until age 1, and *preferably* to age 2. Last time I checked, the World Health Organization also suggested nursing after age 2, as long as was comfortable for mother and child. Babies *will* wean, eventually.

As for napping...well, some babies just don't need as much sleep as others, and as your little one grows, it will sleep less and less. Newborns sleep all the time; by the time they are one, they're down to one or two naps a day, if that. My son turned 3 yesterday, and he seldom naps during the day anymore. He goes to bed before his dad and I and wakes up after us. That's all the extra sleep he needs. Your little one may just be hitting a stage where they don't sleep as much as they used to.

Whatever you decide to do, congrats on nursing as long as you have!

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K.W.

answers from Lubbock on

I disagree w/ the previous poster about the mini-vacation. That's weaning cold turkey and It's not generally a good idea. I did it with my 2nd child, but he was older, and we were lucky in that he wasn't traumatized (I don't think) and I didn't get plugged ducts or mastitis, which is really common when you wean cold turkey.

If you want to wean, just do it slowly, cutting out one feeding per week until she's weaned.

If you simply want to cut back, you can tell her no. Avoid sitting in places that she normally nurses (like a particular chair, etc.) and use lots of distraction.

Also, she'll likely cut back on her own. She's probably just going through a phase right now.

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L.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Just me- I cut my daughter cold turkey. I was a little depressed at the time and desperate to stop nursing her. I told her she was a big girl and that mommy doesn't have to feed her anymore. But I can tell you don't start her on another habit- the bottle. I gave her bottle b/c it was easier but it create yet another thing to wean her from. So give her a sippy cup and if she does take a pacifer give it to her for soothing herself. My daughter won't take a pacifer since she was a baby if she had I would have probably started her on a sippy cup. Good Luck and Hope for the best
~L.

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C.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Kudos to you for giving your baby the best milk! Weaning can be a difficult time - as she wants not only your milk, but your comfort. Like any other behavior change, this will take a little time. IF you can, I suggest taking a mini-vacation from each other. If grandparents or other family is close, try a long weekend seperation and don't resume breastfeeding when you return. We only know there is a choice if we're offered a choice, so once you take the breast milk away, it'll be easier for her to "choose" cow's milk. At this point, she's not wanting the breat milk for nurition purposes, she's suckling as a comfort. Good luck!

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R.R.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I had to stop breastfeeding my 9 month old only about a month ago because I had to have 2 medical procedures in 2 weeks and wasn't able to breastfeed. Although I pumped, I dried up anyway. I noticed a definite change in my baby mentally...he seems so much more emotional now than he was. It was hard for me, too. I don't exactly know how to go about wheening your baby but I do know that it might be h*** o* her to do it cold turkey. Just explore all of your options and everything will work out just fine! Good luck! R.

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F.G.

answers from Austin on

My mother breastfed me until I was two. I was her last and she was trying to hang on to me being a baby as long as she could. Anyway, when it was finally time to wean me she just bought some thumb suckers cure. Basically you put it on a kid's thumb if you want them to stop sucking it. It tastes so horrible (but it's still edible) that the child no longer wants it's thumb. Anyway, she just rubbed some of that on her nipples and once was all it took for me. Apparently, I tried it, gagged, and never wanted to breastfeed again. Problem solved. Good luck!

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