Waiting Worth It?

Updated on July 24, 2013
A.S. asks from Middletown, CT
41 answers

So i found out i am about 3 months pregnant with are 3rd baby.I already have a boy and a girl so it would be fun to have it be a surprise.But now i am thinking that its not really worth it.So the baby will be due Mid Jan of 2014 and we are moving by the end of November.If i am not sure what the gender is,i dont know what color to make it! All i want to do is buy things for the new baby.
If you had a surprise,was it worth it?
Was it causing any stress?

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

I never knew ahead of time with either one of my two babies. Wouldn't have had it any other way!! Personally, I don't understand people wanting to know beforehand; I think it takes away from all the excitement. But that's just me!!

Additionally, NO, it didn't cause me any stress!!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from Boston on

I agree with everyone here who stated it is worth waiting! I didn't find waiting stressful at all, and it was exciting to find out on the day of the birth my baby's gender.

I actually intentionally didn't want to find out with my first born because I did want the unisex clothing and I didn't want all the over-the-top girl items should I be having a girl. I really find all that "Where's my tiara" and "spoiled princess" girl clothes annoying and somewhat insulting. Why are we teaching 12 months old girls that the most important thing is how cute they look and how snotty they can act? At least by waiting to find out, I could cut down on that type of clothing and recycle any that came in much easier.

So really, I found waiting to find out the gender much less stressful! I got to paint a green safari room for the baby, I have carseats and highchairs that can be used as hand-me-downs for baby #2, and I got an exciting birthing day learning the gender!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I didn't find out my daughter's sex until she was born. I didn't care what sex she was. As for baby clothes and decor, I had a lot of Winnie the Pooh stuff. And onesies are unisex.

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Wait! of course! I just love finding out at that HUGE moment, when there is this beautiful little life cuddled in your arms.

Babies don't need anything but love, so no stressing over colors or "stuff". get a few neutrals and let all of that stress go.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't like surprises, even good ones. I could not wait to find out the gender at the 20 wk ultrasound. I really can not relate to waiting and it is a pet peeve of mine when people refer to a baby as "it".

Congratulations regardless!😊

5 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

It's a surprise no matter when you find out. I like knowing as soon as I can. :)

4 moms found this helpful
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H.L.

answers from Portland on

Congrats! YES it was worth it. For our first we wanted to know. For our second we kept it a wonderful surprise. Oh my goodness it was so fun finding out when he was born. My husband cried because we both were hoping for our boy. It drove my friends and family nuts, but I wasn't too hung up on color for the nursery or clothes and all that. I had planned to have him in our room for the first few months anyway and knew I had girl clothes and boy hand me downs available. I loved having both pregnancies a little different. When I knew I was having my girl, it was an awesome experience to know and plan for her. But, the not knowing was very special as well. I'm so glad I did both.

4 moms found this helpful

F.W.

answers from Danville on

Go with PRIMARY colours...

Perfect for either sex child...

No stress.

It is not good for the baby!

_____________________________________________________________

ETA

As I have shared here before...I was told, with my eldest, that HE was a girl. I was in Germany...delivering at a german hospital...and they did ultra sound at every visit.

I went WILD with 'girl' things.

When **HE*** was born...following an emergency C section...I NEVER believed an ultra sound with any kiddos that followed.

I switched to primary colours...then NO worries...NO stress...and a 'surprise' to boot!!

**just saying**

4 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Is it not still a surprise, no matter when you find out?

My best friend waited to find out with her first, and not her other two. She said it didn't make any difference, that they waited until the end.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Surprised both times. It was wonderful. I wouldn't change it for anything!

3 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I never knew ahead of time, I loved hearing "it's a boy" and "it's a girl" at the birth, LOVED it!
Sex didn't really determine how I painted the nursery. Blue is my favorite color so the room and bedding were sky blue and white, decorated with my favorite childhood themes, mainly Peter Rabbit and Winnie the Pooh (prints, bookends, a lamp.) All the newborn clothes were gender neutral, which was easy since they basically lived in gowns and sleepers for the first few months anyway. I went shopping for clothes once the baby grew out of those.

3 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Surprises are way worth it. I thought I'd find it really difficult to buy clothes and decorate a nursery, but it wasn't actually that hard at all. We rented our home, so I couldn't really do it up anyways with paint. I did a white on white cottage theme and it was adorable. I added some robins egg blue. You could do the trendy grey and white thing and either add splashes of yellow or pink after the fact. Totally not as hard is it seems to shop for baby. I bought my new born clothes unisex and then had a folder of girl and boy clothes ready to order on-line depending. I say go for the surprise, you will not regret it. Also, it keeps people interested in your pregnancy the whole time. Once people know the sex its a done deal in their minds. Its fun, really really fun to find out at the birth. I can't build it up enough.
My first two were surprises. My third I found out because I thought we may have to move and I needed to make room and not hang onto all my girl clothes if it was a boy (which it was).

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I'm too curious to wait.
I had to know everything as soon as I could find out about it.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Houston on

Yes, it was worth it and no, it didn't cause stress. We enjoyed the surprise associated with waiting so much we didn't find out with our second either. I didn't find it stressful waiting and I didn't care about the nursery being done. I bought what I liked when I saw it and I stuck to gender neutral in the process. I never think shopping for a baby is stressful. I get tired of the all boy blue thing with my sons so finding out in advance would have only given me even more months of gender specific stuff. I remember very clearly my husband's ultra excited 'it is a boy!' during delivery. It worked for us to wait. I enjoyed the waiting and wondering; for me it was very much a part of my pregnancy experiences. Good luck and congratulations.

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Z.B.

answers from Toledo on

Why would it not be a surprise at 20 weeks?

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I did not find out with my first (nor did I want to find out). I wanted to hear the words "it's a..." from the doctor, and it was a wonderful surprise. We did a jungle theme with the nursery and it was perfect for a boy or a girl. (It was a girl!)

With my second, we decided to find out at my 17wk ultrasound. I regret it to this day! It was like... great, it's a boy. Now what? It was nice to have a boy theme for the nursery. (I went with a nautical theme. If the ultrasound ended up wrong, I joked that I would change it to more of a "Cape Cod" theme for a girl!)

It wasn't a patience issue for me, I am a very patient person. I saw it as more of a practical issue since I already had a toddler and knew how much work an infant was. I wanted to have the bulk of the work behind me so I could focus on my baby and daughter.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have waited! Anyway, congrats on your pregnancy! I hope my story helped- Let us know how things turn out!

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M.O.

answers from New York on

I am all for surprises. No stress, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

For my son's nursery, we had a Goodnight Moon poster on the wall and colorful alphabet tiles on the floor. Everything was in bright primary colors and it looked very cheerful and educational. It also had the benefit of lasting -- the decor worked as well for a 4-year-old as for an infant -- though he's got it completely different (and completely messy!) now.

I also don't like the thing of doing everything super-girly for a girl and super-boyish for a boy. I personally advocate keeping things simple and neutral when they're very small and letting their clothes and rooms fit their personalities as their personalities grow. It's a lot more responsive and a lot more fun.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I never wanted to be told. At the same time I always knew. I have 4 children and I could only pick out a girls name when I was pregnant with a girl and only a boys name when I was pregnant with a boy.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't be able to wait, I'd have to know.

I like to plan, and know what colors to do, clothes to buy, what kind of names to be thinking about, all that. I know some people go with the neutral colors, and things but that's not my style.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

With both my kids I wanted to know the gender.
My Husband as well.
I have a girl and boy.
I didn't want to keep guessing what gender I was having, and wanted to buy things too, knowing what the gender was.
Just less stress that way.

I assume you are talking about room, color?
Just don't use blue or red primary colors. That is too static.
I'd use, one main color, and then accent colors. The accent colors being used per the gender of the baby. Once it is born. To create ambiance.
ie: a nice warm tan with lime green. Or a nice tan with accent color of either eggshell blue an orange hue or pink or whatever.
For example: Martha Stewart's "Superneurtral Palettes" (per the link I have below) is nice, the #11 'Natural Twine" tan is a nice versatile neutral that can be used with any scheme.. depending on the accent colors and flourishes.

The thing is, a nice "tan" or taupe color, is very versatile. And using accent colors and room accessories.... it can really create a whole new look. And it can be used for modern or industrial or classic design schemes.
For example:
http://www.marthastewart.com/275531/our-favorite-colors/@...

Primary colors, only, in a room, is very stimulating.
More neutral or calm hues, is more relaxing. And versatile. And less prone to getting tired of it, kind of thing. Especially as the child gets older.

But as far as baby clothing... well, the only gender neutral color would be yellow or orange or pale green. Whatever is out there for sale, per neutral baby clothing. Most baby clothing, is girl or boy.

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

It was definitely worth the surprise for us. All 3 of my pregnancies were different but I thought for sure my 3rd was going to be a boy (and I was not too thrilled about it.) I'd already had a girl and a boy and figured it didn't make a difference if I was having a boy or a girl so we didn't find out. Well lo and behold, when my 3rd was delivered I was so grateful that she was out of me that I didn't even ask and the nurse finally said, "Oh, she's so big." What, it's a girl, I was flooded with joy and relief (cause my son was very difficult) and shed tears of happiness! Best. Surprise. Ever.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I'd wait.
our first was a surprise and it was great.
Second we had already done the surprise thing so we wanted to know. pretty simple.
With my daughter I chose a theme for nursery that could go either way, Classic Pooh.
There are ton's of gender neutral colors. More than there are non gender neutral ones.

2 moms found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My first I didn't find out.we wanted a surprise.
For the second we tried to find out, but the ultrasound was inconclusive because of the position of the baby. They told us they thought it was a girl, but not to paint the room pink... :)

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D..

answers from Miami on

I have to admit that I can't imagine not finding out what the sex of my baby is. Granted, they can make a mistake, but usually they are right. It's hard to find baby stuff that is totally unisex. I have a friend who didn't want to know with her 4th baby, and I had a really hard time shopping for her. It's not just about color - it's about design. I didn't realize that clothes seem to be SO gender specific now...

I had boys and I chose a lot of primary colors for their room. It made it easier for me (and it's probably good for boys.)

Whatever you decide, keep the tags on the clothes until after the baby is born. That way, if you are wrong, you can return them.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i loved being surprised. never seriously considered anything else.
khairete
S.

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P.N.

answers from Denver on

I waited until delivery with 4 of my 5. Totally, totally worth it.

There is NO comparison, IMO, between finding out at the u/s, and finding out when they place baby in your arms. And for what its worth, I've NEVER met anyone who waited until delivery, and wished they hadn't!

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Waiting to find out the sex (gender is something else) until you deliver or finding out at the 20 week health scan ... hmmm... you ask if it's "worth it." Well, the end result is the same, isn't it? A child being added to your family. Of course waiting until delivery to find out sex would be worth it. We waited for our first child.

1 mom found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

We didn't find out for our 1st baby, so it was really cool when he was delivered to be able to find out then. It was the one thing that was happy about the day he was born, which was a traumatic birth.

We found out for babies 2-4, because I already have boy stuff, so if I was going to need girl stuff I wanted to be able to get it before I had a newborn in tow.

So, I say if you already have clothes for both sexes, wait and be surprised.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I am pregnant with my third (have a girl and boy, also) and we are not finding out nor did we with any of our kiddos!! We knew we'd be having more kids so we went with gender neutral bath, stroller, carseat, etc and just purchased the bedding after he/she was born since he/she was in our room for the first few months. I love the surprise although it drives so many of my friends and family crazy! Congrats :)

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

With my last two I said I wanted to wait. Then they said do you want to know the gender? Sure, I figure I still may be surprised and I was going to find out eventually..

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

CONGRATULATIONS!!

No, when I was pregnant with our boys - we already knew - as my voice got really deep. It was actually VERY funny. When I got pregnant with our daughter - my voice got high and "very girly" - it was funny.

Neither one of us wanted to find out what the sex was. We wanted to be surprised.

I would do "gender neutral" colors - yellow - white - green - etc.

DO NOT buy things! Sorry. But if you are moving - that's just more stuff to move. Wait. Get it after you move...heck - most of the stuff you will want will be on sale anyway!!!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wait. It'll be such a fun surprise when you finally deliver and meet him/her for the first time. It'll just make everything that much more exciting.

Don't worry about what color to paint the room. Chances are, the new baby will be in your room for the first few months anyway, so you'll have plenty of time to decorate the new room. You could also paint it a neutral color, like yellow, green, or even light blue and then buy some more gender-specific accessories later. Green would work well for that, because it goes well with purple for a girl or blue for a boy.

Also, if you wait a few more months before buying anything, you can buy cute boy and girl stuff, and then return whatever you don't need. Just keep your receipts!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Well, back in MY day... we didn't have that option.....

My first 3 were surprises.... they didn't order ultrasounds unless there was a question about anything. I did have an ultrasound with #1 (1982), and with #4 (1991).... by the time #4 came along, they could usually predict the gender.

I did find out with #4...... they said boy, and it was a boy.

Did it matter either way? No, not really...... as far as buying things, or gifts, back then they gave a lot of gender neutral items. And... even though #4 was a boy, and the first 3 were girls, he still wore a lot of the same sleepers and such as they did.....

1 mom found this helpful
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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

I found out by accident, I had an US at 13 wks and the tech said "oh, it looks like a boy!" without asking if I wanted to know or not. Fortunately, I didn't want to be surprised at birth, but I was a little upset that my husband wasn't there with me (I had actually invited my MIL, since she only has sons and hadn't gotten to go to one before). You don't have to decide right now, I wouldn't buy much since you are moving anyways. Why don't you just wait until you are closer to the 20 wk mark and then decide? You never know, you might be sure one way or the other by then. Congratulations!

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P.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I would say what ever you feel like.If you wanna know the gender at 20 weeks go ahead,if you wanna wait 5-6 more months,wait :)
Buy yellow for the new baby
Congrats!

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't know because I didn't wait to find out.
I was surprised on the day of my ultrasound though. :)
I'm far too practical to NOT know ahead of time!

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I wanted girly things for a girl and obvious boy things for a boy, I am not a huge fan of unisex items for the kids. So we found out with all 3. I'm too pracitcal to not know - finding out at 20 weeks or on the day of birth, it's still a surprise.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I never found out until I met them. It was wonderful! I stocked up on a lot of white onesies, and neutral colours.

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I had surprises both times and there was no stress. I painted the nursery walls a pale blue and had yellow and green bedding, which to me worked for either sex. I bought plain, gender neutral onsies and sleepers. I'm not crazy about pink, so even if I did have a girl I likely would have avoided pink stuff anyway.

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M.C.

answers from Roanoke on

For me, there was enough to be surprised and excited about on the day of delivery (what your baby looks like, how your baby responds to the world, the excitement of finally meeting him/her, the date/time/method your baby comes into the world, etc), so I really enjoyed "spreading out" the surprises and enjoying the surprise of finding out the sex at 20 weeks!

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I didn't find out with my first, but really wanted to. My husband wanted it to be a surprise so we waited until delivery to find out we were having a girl. Yes, it was a great moment when I learned I was having a daughter and meeting her all at once. But you know what? It wasn't any LESS amazing to find out at 6 months along and then meet the baby at birth - as we did with our second and third.

I can honestly say that meeting your new baby for the first time is the most magical moment, and it is NOT made less by knowing whether your baby is a boy or girl. You still won't know what they look like, if they'll have your eyes, if they have hair, etc. It's still overwhelming and emotional and amazing, whether you know ahead of time or not.

If you want to know, then find out. If you think it'll be stressful not to know until the birth, then find out. If you want to be surprised, then wait.

I liked knowing ahead of time better because then I could prepare. Because we had 3 girls, I didn't have to worry about getting a second set of clothes (though I still bought *some* new stuff!), I could refer to my bump as "she" and not just baby or "it" (which I can't stand), and both of our younger girls were named before they were born (luckily their names suited them once we saw them).

It's a personal choice for sure. If you like to plan and be prepared, then you might want to find out. But then again....you might want to wait :)

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