Texas Funeral "Fashion"

Updated on June 29, 2011
A.C. asks from Sterling Heights, MI
20 answers

I am attending my grandmother's funeral in Texas this weekend, and I have no idea what would be appropriate to wear to the visitation. When I grew up in Texas people always wore dresses to such events (and to baby showers, wedding showers, etc.). The last time I went to a Texas funeral (a couple of years ago) I was dressed inappropriately for the visitation. I can't remember if I was over or under dressed, but I think it was over dressed.

My sister-in-law said that my aunts claim they are wearing a sundress and capris and a nice t-shirt. But that sounds unbelievably casual to me (these are the daughters of the person who died, by the way).

It may sound silly to worry about it, but I have three concerns: 1) I want to be respectful, 2) I want to not die in the Texas heat (remember I live in Michigan - it's 80 degrees and I thought I was going to pass out in all the outfits I was trying on), and 3) I don't want my step-mother (it's her mother who died) making yet another comment about my outfit. I never can seem to get it right with her. She always thinks my clothes are too nice (i.e. too expensive), but they aren't at all, I'm just good at sales, Marshalls, and TJ Max! She even once said, "Ooh. Perfume!" and raised her eyebrows at me because she thought it wasn't appropriate to wear perfume to the event I was attending. (It wasn't perfume, by the way, it was hairspray!) So, anyway, you can see why I am worried about what to wear. Help, please.

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M.A.

answers from Charleston on

I would say something cool and understaed would be the way to go.
I don't think I would wear capris and a t-shirt to a funeral anywhere.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am sorry if i am repeating. I would go with a black "sundress" type dress. Not too revealing but light material for the heat.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

I live in Texas and it is really hot right now so be prepared. You would be fine to wear something that you will be comfortable in. A skirt with a nice short sleeved shirt would be just fine. Or slacks and a nice short sleeved shirt. Sorry for your loss.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Dress neatly and simply - not casually, but not as if you were going to a party. A skirt and top (or slacks and top) would work, with just a bit of jewelry and simple shoes. The idea is to show respect but not to attract attention to yourself. You want to put yourself together to look as if you didn't try to put yourself together - which is harder than dressing up.

Don't worry too much about what anyone else says or does. There are always critics, and sometimes they happen to be relatives. Actually, you'll probably see a wide range of clothing styles at the funeral.

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

i am in TX (Dallas burb) and yes it is brutal right now but..... I can't handle the cold so I am not complaining at all... However, for someone like you who is not used to it.... it can be a beast.

I have seen it all. It depends on the location.... nice capris and heels can work with a nice top, nice pants with nice top, and a nice dress if you feel the need for a dress and that is how most people are dressing. I've even been to a visitation and witnessed jeans.... that is NOT ME but I don't judge what someone is wearing... the fact they are showing respect should be appreciated vs having the fashion police around.

White House Black Market is a favorite store of mine. I have classy lightweight black capris with a nice top and I wear some heels with it.. looks great. They also have some very nice dresses for summer that are not too pricey, lightweight and pretty.

Best wishes..

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Wear what YOU feel is appropriate and what YOU will be comfortable in with the heat, and if your stepmother doesn't like it, she is cordially invited to sit down and STFU.

1 mom found this helpful

G.R.

answers from Dallas on

i think a nice black skirt and nice light blouse is fine :) is too hot right now here

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K.M.

answers from Houston on

It depends on the area you are going to be in (small town, city, etc), where the service is, and your age. Mostly what I see now are black, white or tan slacks or nice capris with a blouse and/or jacket for the visitation, and a dress for the funeral. A suit type dress isn't necessary. I don't see many women wearing stockings. Open toed shoes or sandals are fine. I don't think I've seen women in t-shirts at visitations or funerals. If the funeral is at a funeral home and not at a church you can be a little bit more casual.

Please keep in mind that it is HOT here now. Many women carry a jacket to wear inside (a lightweight one) either due to the air conditioning or for modesty, but you won't want an outfit that calls for a jacket to be complete in this heat. PM me if you have more specific questions.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would think that a black skirt or black slacks (no capris) would be nice and respectful.The top can be short sleeved, but I wouldn't wear anything bright in color or low cut.

The easiest way would be to ask your step-mother her opinion...just say you want to be dressed appropriately and respectfully. I'm sure she'll guide you in a way she'd prefer.

I'm sorry for your loss.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

Maybe you should just ask your step-mother what she thinks would be appropriate. Since she scolded you last time, asking her opinion could lead her to think you are really trying to do the right thing, which you are. I have to think a sundress, maybe with a shawl and strappy sandels (no flip flops) would be appropriate and reusable too.

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

I would suggest overly dressed! It's better to be that than under! My Grandmother's funeral was last August and it was REALLY hot! And unbeknownst to me, I had to be a pallbearer! (My Dad and Aunt wanted the grandchildren to do it together) I bought 2 really nice, dressy sleeveless dresses. Both are black and gray patterned with a high neckline. Then, I bought a black short sleeved crop cardigan (light fabric), not sure what they're really called but they're really popular right now. I based whether to take the cardigan off on what everyone else was wearing.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

I'd say to try to go without any scents at all and to wear a simple skirt and blouse, a simple dress, or a nice slacks outfit. You can wear sandles in the heat and keep the sleeves short. I'm sure it'll be air conditioned. I'd wear something like what you'd wear if you worked in an office and dealt with the public or like you'd wear to a church that isn't very formal but not too casual. It's not a picnic. Good luck!

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

No I can not see why you are worried about anything except what your step-mother, (who you will probably NEVER be able to please may think), so don't even try. So mama, consider the weather in Texas, dress respectfully and remember that this is NOT your grandmother's funeral, it is your step-mother's mother.

It's plain to see there's a lot more going on here then a funeral.

Blessings....

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Wear what YOU think will make you comfortable and honor your grandmother. I like the phrase "church it up a notch" - that sounds right. Your step mother sounds like a big jealous be-otch, and I would not even bother giving her statements any weight. You're there for your grandmother, not your step-mother. So sorry for your loss.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

I would say church up a notch if it is family, but we just had this "situation" with my father's funeral. I tried to warn my husband, who was upset that I forgot to pack his belt for his suit (I guess I didn't know you had to have a belt with a suit--I'm not really clothes savvy, either) that he would be more than adequately dressed for the service. Aside from our pastor, he was the only man in a suit, and one of the few not wearing jeans. "Dressed up" for my dad was clean jeans without noticable holes in them and a button-up shirt that he hadn't welded anything in. I don't think it made a negative impression, but he did stand out. :)

I do not think capris and a tee are respectful for a woman. If you wear something simple and understated, like a nice dress that can dress up or down, you should be okay. I wore a knit skirt from Target that I wear to work sometimes but it feels like a t-shirt, so it looked dressier. (I have a 3-month-old so didn't fit into anything I had that was funeral-appropriate.)

So sorry for your loss. Travel safely.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

I've seen everything from jeans and tshirts to skirts and blazers.

I usually wear a nice dress, or black slacks/skirt with a nice blouse. Just wear light and airy fabrics and skip layering so you won't get overheated.

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C.K.

answers from San Antonio on

I live in south Texas, and am going to a funeral tomorrow. It is family; my husband's aunt passed away. I plan on wearing black slacks, a black top with a little white and pale, pale purple on it, and black sandal heels. The top is something I would wear to church, or to a nice restaurant. It is nice, but not formal.
The women will all be dressed about the same way. We also have a family meal planned after the service, so we wear comfortable clothes too.

I don't know if any of that helps you, or not.

I think if someone makes a comment on your clothing they are rude and inappropriate. A funeral isn't about what you wear, but about respecting and honoring the deceased. Ultimately you should wear what you are comfortable in and what you feel is appropriate.

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L.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I think the key is to dress.... un-remarkably. I think that dresses are cooler for hot climates (allowing for the a possible breeze) than pants and a shirt (especially if the shirt would have to be tucked in.) Perhaps you can find a navy blue or dark grey sundress without a lot of embellishement?

Be prepared for your step-mother to say something no matter what you decide. It may be part of her coping methods. She lost her mother. Let it roll off your back.

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J.T.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I would go by what they tell you. The last couple funerals I have been to in MI, I have felt that I was over dressed (skirt and blouse,etc) as there were several there wearing jeans!!! (one was the child of the man who had passed). I agree with the advice you have been given already, go with something classic, in the vein which you were told (nice capris, classic sundress), and don't worry about being over dressed...

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Texas is way more casual of an environment, especially in the summer. Capris, sundresses, yeah, I can believe it. Expecially the visitation. In my experiance, the visitation is a very casual affair. The funeral would be a bit dressier with darker colors. But the visitation, its a lot of people just getting off work, coming inthier office attire. Kids in jeans. Now, throwing your mil in the mix makes it a bit more difficult. Surely she approves of her own daughters, so, wear what they are wearing. Dont show a lot of skin. I would say nice navy or khaki capris with a short sleeve, button down, maybe ruffly top and nice sandals or heels would be very appropriate. If she is more conservative and you feel a dress is appropriate, just wear a lightweight fabric and cover your shoulders - no spaghetti straps. btw, what possible event would it not be appropriate to wear perfume?

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