My baby will turn 4 months in a week. For the past 3 weeks, he's been busting out of every swaddle we have tried for him. The miracle blanket, the Snug and Tug, the Kiddapotamus, etc. He doesn't bust out of it necessarily, but he figures out a way to wiggle one or both arms out.
When he was 3 months old, we tried unswaddling him for several nights and he was completely overtired because his startle reflex would usually keep him awake. So we ditched that idea after 5 days and 4 nights of barely any sleep. But now, he busts out all the time and we end up with loose blankets in the crib or with unhappy awake baby. He's also showing signs of rolling over and so the swaddle is no longer an option.
Since his sleep has been all over the place, we also don't have a regular schedule in place for him. Sometimes he'll go 7 hours at night between feedings, sometimes he will only go 5-6. We put him to bed at the same time every night, but he also wakes up at different times. Sometimes he wakes at 5am, sometimes it's 3am. He's been waking up more frequently we believe because he's pissed he's in the swaddle.
Since he's swaddled for all naps and nighttime, we also cradle him. That's almost impossible to do without him being swaddled so we feel like we are going to have to re-learn how to do everything.
We are trying to be as prepared as one can be for something so unpredictable. Is he too young to cry it out? What methods do we use to soothe him? How long do we go of sleepless nights before it's detrimental to his health?
Any suggestions or advice is appreciated.
Stop swaddling. He's probably trying to tell you he doesn't like it. Try putting him in pj's with legs / footies or a drawstring type gown - he might prefer that to being being bundled up in a blanket.
Babies - and kids alike - will get the sleep they need when they need it.
It's okay for a baby to cry it out - he'll get enough sleep.
You might have to try again of getting him out of the swaddle. Both my kids within 2-3 weeks hated it and wanted OUT. That is my experience. One thing that worked with my first daughter was taking towels and rolling them really tight with duct tape and placing it on either side of her body. It still gave her the feeling she was having something around her. My second daughter had colic and reflux so bad she slept in her car seat for 6 months!!! Whatever works right! Good luck!
our twins started busting out of their swaddles at about this time. We started swaddling them underneath their arms just for the fact that they kept busting their arms out of it or shifting so much in the swaddle that we were afraid that they might suffocate. Eventually we just stopped doing the entire swaddling thing with the two of them. I think its pretty common at this age...4 months +.
Its great that you are trying to be consistent with what time he goes down...keep doing that. Ours also woke up at various times for what seemed like forever and then all of a sudden they stop...it was a hallelujah moment.
We tried the no cry sleep solution book as my husband felt this was the better choice and after a little over a week of it not showing any signs of working and the silly things it required you to do that I personally didnt agree with we stopped. A friend of mine introduced me to a book called Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old and it was the best book ever! Because our girls were obviously not newborns when we got this book we applied the books technigues for older babies and we had our twins sleeping through the night within weeks! To this day (and they are 14 months now) they sleep perfectly! I say get this book and start today! You wont regret it! Best of luck and I would love to hear how things turn out.
As far as putting baby on the stomach like someone else suggested I would highly recommend against that. Babies at this age are not as strong as some would think. If he rolls over and sleeps on his tummy by himself then you could decide to let him be but I would not put him on his tummy intentionally. He will eventually sleep in that position but let him show you that he is strong enough to get himself there. We still put our girls down on their backs and let them find their comfy postions. SIDS is a real danger to many kids. I have known people who had to go through the lose of their babies and its painful. Just think twice before doing something like that is all I am saying. Best of luck and again would love to hear the outcome of your babies sleeping!
Maybe he is very hot natured and too uncomfortable being swaddled? Some babies don't like sox on their feet at night either. I'd undo him and let him sleep in his sleeper and see how he does. Do you want to be bundled up in covers to sleep? Since he is about to learn to roll over soon, he may not want that anymore either, but personally, I thought swaddling was just for newborns.. Much luck!
The same exact thing happened to us with our daughter! I was looking to buy a bigger size, but then thought...what for! She has to learn to go to sleep without it soon enough, so I asked the doctor when to start the cry it out method. He told me we could talk about it at the 6mth check up, but honesty, I did it anyway. I stayed in her room tucked in the corner so she couldn't see me, but I could see her to make sure nothing was wrong with her or for my piece of mind because she was crying. I only stayed with her the first night, but it took about 3 nights (not constant crying) for her to stop crying altogether,but it worked. Not long after that, she started sleeping on her stomach and I didn't have to worry about the reflex and she slept sooo much better! She was turning over at the time, so I didn't have to worry about sleeping on her stomach. HTH!
Hi L.,
I think the hardest thing to learn as a parent is how to listen to baby and bend with the changes babies impose on our lives... the contstant changes. No mom of a four month old sleeps well.
Four months, I think, is way too long to swaddle a baby. That is for the first few weeks of life. How will he learn to sleep through the little startles of the night if he's never given the chance?
Four months is also too young to cry it out. Until the 6 month or so age, they are responding and alerting you to biological necessitites, not wants. You'll notice a change at 6 or 7 months when wants begin to be expressed. Please do not abandon baby to crying at this age. He needs you.
Remember that a baby's stomach is not much bigger than his fist. If he is breastfed, that material is passing through him quickly (and efficiently). Bottle stuff lasts longer in the gut, but it still isn't much. He needs to eat quite often. Protein is not stored like fats or sugars in the body. Protein is what our body structures are made of and if it is not immediately present when needed for growth, his little body will break down muscle tissue to get the protein he needs to grow. He can't afford that so he tells you when he needs to eat and you just have to suck it up and give it to him.
You can't really prepare for all the changes he's going to go through. As parents we cannot control a baby's sleep, eating, pooping, crying etc. habits. Once a baby comes things do get really tough. As a total control freak, I had a very hard time learning that lesson. :)
And as you stumble through your sleep-deprived days, know that you are in good company. Moms everywhere sympathise with you and wish you the best.
Good luck.
Hi L.-
I agree with Umber. Definitely ditch the swaddling. Also, if he is going 5 hours and sometimes 6 or 7 between feedings you are one of the lucky ones!! At 4 months I was up at least every 4 hours with mine. That was the age when if they slept for 6 hours it scared me and I had to go check on them :-)! Since it seems he's come to depend on the security he feels from being swaddled you could try purchasing one of those "wedge" things that help to keep a baby on their backs for sleeping. It's been years since I bought one, but they used to have a small wedge shaped pillow on either side of the baby to keep them in place. This might help him feel a little more secure. Also, when mine were young I would place a twisted up blanket behind them and sort of up under their bottom so that they had the sense of my arm craddling around them. This seemed to help too.
Good luck,
K.
I am in no help in the swaddling dept.. b/c my babies couldn't stand them..but I had a few ideas to throw out. What about a sleep positioner? I have one with a small head pad and adjustable/removable side foam pieces that hug the baby. It might give your baby enough security without the swaddle. And another idea might be a sleep sack, maybe one that it smaller in size. My kids both sleep with a box fan in their room, and a lovey.. they have both had a 12"x12" blankie from birth, and that has helped them alot. Hope that you find a solution soon, that has got to be so hard!
We have an 8 week old and he wiggles out of every swaddle blanket too. You would think it would make it more comfortable for him but he stays awake longer just to get wiggled out of the blanket. SO, we have been putting him to sleep on his tummy and it works great. I closely watch him while he is sleeping but he has great head control and easily moves his head from one side to the other. Also, with his hand laid up close to his head - he is less likely to move them due to the startle thing.... Just an option?
I agree with the PP- I would put him asleep on his tummy. You can pat or rub his back for a little while and walk away, if he starts fussing go back and do this again. Tell him it's time to sleep. Don't pick him up once he's in bed. Don't put him to sleep in your bed on his belly.
My girls slept much better on their bellies. Once they are rolling you really don't have to worry about SIDS so much. The loose bedding/swaddling is more dangerous to him then sleeping on his belly.
S., mom to 4 girls
In other countries, they not only swaddle, but put a belt or belt-like thing around the baby that's pretty tight.
L.,
Wow, this was us several months ago. Our son LOVED to be swaddled until he was "busting out" of it daily. It took a few nights of him getting up to finally get comfortable without the swaddle. We didn't let him "cry it out", but just gave him his paci and covered him with the blanket when he'd wake at night. Yes, it made for a few difficult nights, but he made it! Also, when we stopped swaddling in the evening, we also stopped during naptime to be consistent for him.
Good luck! He'll get there!! Our son is 8 months old now and sleeps like a champ!
J.
I go against the flow, both my kids sleep on their tummies! My 4 month old sleeps 9-12 hours this way. She can roll back to front and front to back. I never wrapped her up to sleep. Sleeping on her tummy she can't startle herself. I do the cry method and it worked! She sleeps ALL night and then some! If she has burped, been fed and is clean with no gas, when its bedtime, night night she goes! I don't rock her to sleep either. I most always unless she falls asleep with me will put her to bed tired but not asleep. I want her to learn to self soothe so that I don't start a habit of her needing me to help her go to sleep. I will only let her cry 15-30 min. And then I check in her to see what's going on. I try really hard to not pick her up once I lay her down. I give her a pasifier and if that doesn't work I get her up and hold her for a bit and try again. She did go through a growth spirt about a month ago where she wanted more food about an hour after she had already eaten. She already has 2 bottom teeth and right before
It sounds like he no longer needs this, and like us wants to be able to move while asleep.If he wakes it may also mean that he is ready for something more then liquids to eat. All baby will vary as to their needs. Good luck.
My son did not like the swaddling after a few weeks. I rolled up 2 blankets and put one on each side of him to make him feel more secure. It seemed to help. Now he is 6 months old and scooting all over his crib so I removed them and just put a thin blanket over his stomach and legs. And like others have said he will sleep when he gets tired enough.
I definitely think it's time for the swaddle to go and if he is learning to roll over, then I would try letting him sleep on his tummy. My son slept so much better that way, but he had reflux. As for cry it out, I would definitely let him fuss for at least a few minutes before going in there, but he might be a little young for the full blown method. Give him a chance to try to settle himself, but if he is really upset, I would try again in a few weeks. I think 5-6 months old is a good time to start that. In the meantime, really work on a solid, consistent routine and try to rock him until he's just drowsy and then put him down awake to get him used to it. Call it "practice" until he's old enough to let him figure it out. Sleep issues are so draining, but you'll get there! My daughter was a dream...she slept through the night at 5 weeks old (8 hours) and by 2 months old was sleeping 10 hours per night. My son, on the other hand, had reflux and never really slept through the night consistently until he was around 9 months old. It was exhausting! But, he is 15 months old now and he goes down with no tears on his own and wakes up happy in his bed until I come to get him. Some babies just take longer than others. Good luck to you!
In reply to the PP saying that you should not put a child to sleep on their stomach-
I worked in day care for several years prior to having my own children, and the babies were ALWAYS put to sleep on their tummies unless otherwise instructed by the parents. I worked in 5 daycare infant rooms. Then when my babies (the first three) were in the NICU ALL the NICU babies slept on their bellies- 2 different hospitals. I asked the nurses about this and they said that babies sleep so much better on their bellies and since they are on monitors they don't worry about SIDS. I asked if they have ever had an alarm that could have been attributed to SIDS....and the answer was NO. No! After all this hoopla of babies dying because they sleep on their tummies. The only issues they've had are with babies that had issues on their BACKS too.
In Europe they wrap their mattresses to prevent toxic fumes from overtaking an infant, which many believe to be the chief cause of SIDS. Read this article for more information. http://www.healthychild.com/toxic-sleep/has-the-cause-of-...
In Japan when the vaccines were greatly reduced autism and SIDS dropped in numbers. When vaccines went up, so did autism and SIDS. http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/vaccine_sids.htm
Of course, also make sure that there is no loose bedding or stuffed animals in the crib. I had never heard not to use the crib bumpers (after all, it comes with the bedding!) so although I took the quilt out and hung it on the wall, I put the bumpers in. My daughter got trapped between the bumper and the crib! http://babyproducts.about.com/od/recallsandsafety/a/bumpe...
You can purchase bumpers (if you need them) that are supposed to help reduce suffocation problems with the bumbers. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=252973... http://search.happymothers.com/search.aspx?search=Trend+L...
Yes, the death of a child is a HORRIBLE thing. I know someone whose boyfriend rolled on her baby while sleeping (he was on drugs I think.) I lost my son in March during birth. But after the research I decided to put my babies to sleep on their bellies (the only way they seemed to want to sleep.) My second child came home from the NICU with monitors and if there was a depression in respiration or if her heart didn't beat properly it would have sounded an alarm. It never did (Except when I was trying to feed her and the monitors got jiggled.)
S., mom to 4 Earth angels and 5 Heavenly treasures (early miscarriages and a stillbirth at 40 weeks.)
Check out www.sleepingturtles.com It was developed by a nurse. Good luck!
I would definitely not let him cry it out.
Hi L.,
My llittle girl went through the same thing it sounds like. We use the kiddopotamus, and started swaddling with one hand out, then worked our way to 2 hands out. Eventually when she was good with that, we stopped swaddling for naps, and then eventually for evenings. It took about a month to fully get out of the swaddle. I hope this helps!!!
Like you, I was absolutely dreading breaking the swaddle habit (he was in a miracle blanket). I researched all over the internet for advice to find other mothers in the same predicament.
My baby was 11 weeks old with reflux and pretty bad gas when I decided to try un-swaddling. Part of my concern was him being sick while swaddled. My husband was away and I had had a week of no sleep. I was literally at breaking point, very emotional and sleep deprived.
My gut instinct like yours was that he was getting fed up of being swaddled, but at the same time would cry once he broke out. I also felt being swaddle was constricting him moving his legs up to release the gas. I decided that one afternoon I would try putting him to sleep unswaddled for his afternoon nap. I knew if I tried at night I would be too tired to persevere.
I had read that babies need to learn to sooth them selves to sleep e.g. like learning to walk, if we keep holding them they won't walk. The same thing with sleeping. So after a LONG 45 minutes of crying heart breaking for me, but I kept telling myself he would be OK and reminding myself of everything I had read. I would also go in and check on him touch his stomach to let him know I was there, but not talk to him or pick him up. I went in after longer intervals. His crying started to stop & start also in intervals. Then he fell a sleep for 1.5 hours !!!!
I was SURE I wouldn't be so lucky that night BUT he slept through and when I checked on him he was lying in his cot with his arms wide out and legs open. He was very content.
Now at bed time he goes to down without any tears. I would say ROUTINE is extremely important. I bath him, give him a baby massage, then bottle (then after 30 mins because of his reflux) put him down.
I would say it was a turning point for me. We are both now sleeping much better and he seems like a different baby. So much happier. Now my husband & I wonder if we should have done it sooner because he was waking up every 2/3 hours in the night. Perhaps the gas was a contributer too, which he seems to have grown out of. Although watching him kick and hearing the gas come out was very rewarding !!
Good Luck.....
