Stay in the Grocery Cart Before I Go Crazy!!!

Sorry, I haven't read all of the responses. Hopefully this isn't a repeat. Since she's 2y, can you shop at Kroger? They have carts with kiddie cars attached. She can drive while you shop?

What works with my daughter is telling her I will take away one of her toys or books (whatever the favorite of the day is) if she does not behave. The first bad act gets a warning, the next I tell her I am taking away "X", she usually starts to cry and says she is a good girl. At that point I tell her that if she is a good girl until we get home then I will not take away "X". That usually solves it. If she starts to relapse, I remind her that she has to be good.

Good luck!

I scheduked all my grocery shopping either when my hubby was home or when I had them dropped off at the daycare. I am a stay at home mom and used daycare for just this reason.

at that age I gave my son the choice sit buckled in the cart or be worn on my back in an ergo and when I did let him walk it was during slow grocery hour times and I let him help by putting the boxed items in the cart for me.

If you can... maybe go grocery shopping when your Husband is home... and leave her with him.
Or have your Husband do the grocery shopping. That is what I did...

Its a awkward phase/age....
It will get better when she is a tad older....

Also, take her out when she is not tired... or has already had a nap.....
Kids do NOT do well out in stores when they are tired...

Sometimes, stores are just so overly-stimulating to a child that age... then they drive us and themselves crazy.... and they don't even have full "impulse-control" at that age... ugh. Not easy....

all the best,
Susan

I like both Susans' answers, and Rachel's too. Around this age, I always wore my son on my back, b/c he wasn't interested in riding. If you have a sore back and your child is too heavy for this to work, consider bringing some snacks and toys to play with. If I had a child who was too heavy to carry and undoing seatbelts, I'd bring a longer piece of cotton cloth and just tie them in, wrap it flat around their chest several times, as you would an ace bandage, so she's one with the cart, and knot it behind her. Or plan smaller, shorter trips and use a basket and the stroller-- basket handles often will fit onto stroller handles, so she's still strapped in. Sorry I don't have any other suggestions-- there are just no magic tricks for this one, other than giving it time and shopping when the least amount of people are around. :)

S. from Honululu is right on!!! This "S." is going to agree. There is a time for shopping with the toddlers/ children and 2 -3 yrs. old is NOT IT!

Have 3 boys--- the ages of 2 -3 are horrible for shopping. They want to be "exploring their world" not strapped into a cart or stroller.

I shopped when they could be home with Dad: evenings and weekends.
Or Dad came along and he entertained all the boys and I shopped and just loaded things in the cart. And I went by myself and it was HEAVEN!!!

About age 4, things are more bearable with your kids. At 4, they become "helpers." At 2, they are not helpers. You know this now. At age 16-17, you can send them to the store with cash and a list and make them buy groceries!! It's great!

At this point, your only option might be duct tape or having her stay home with daddy while you shop.

Hi Mama
Believe me stick with the approach of keeping her in the trolley.
Went through the same thing with my three year old and make the stupid mistake a few times of letting him push the trolley.I nearly had a nervous breakdown in front of everyone in the shop LOL. Now I NEVER let him out of the trolley when shopping.
Stick to your guns,keep putting her in the trolley everytime you go shopping.
Let her scream and try to ignore it and everyone elses stares around you.
She will soon stop if she is being ignored.
Also you can offer her a treat going around if she behaves.
Best of luck as I know how frustrating this can be.
B.

I brought my own seat belt. Any one will do, like the strap from a highchair or from one of those baby shopping cart covers or a waist belt from a backpack -- just a mesh strap that clicks like a carseat belt and can be adjusted. The cart belts don't work because they sit around the child's chest, so they can slip out of it. If you bring your own, you put it around her waist/lap and tighten it there. Then she can't slip out of it.

As far as her crying goes, I personally don't think it should have to be a discipline issue so much as a "prevent it" issue. It has to be boring to sit in the cart for a long time. I remember not liking it when I was older. So I don't see anything wrong with making it more fun and pleasant for her. Think of it, she isn't doing the shopping. She can't read a book. Can't really play with toys. How boring to have to just sit there. We wouldn't want to do that either.

So, I do what I can to make the trip fun and my kids actually want to go with me. We always stop to see the fish and then later to see the lobsters. My daughter gets to hold the ticket at the deli counter. She holds the produce bag for me while I drop the veggies into it. My kids also like to hold a box of mac and cheese or rice or pudding (anything that shakes) and pretend it's fish food. They shake it over the side of the cart and say, "Here fishy fishy." I also bring a box of raisins to give to them towards the end of the trip when they are getting antsy. Sometimes I tell them we are looking for "Oogie Boogies" (or any silly word) and have them help me look. "Daddy wrote it on the list so we have to find it. Do you see any on this aisle? Is that one?" They think that's pretty funny. And of course, there's always the mechanical horse ride after we're all done. (Ours costs a penny where I live!)

I think you have to stick to your guns and not let her out otherwise shopping trips will take forever. Like anything else- be consistent. Keep setting her down and buckling her and suffer through a few bad trips until she realizes that you are serious and are not going to let her out. Try to engage her right when she sits down. "Can you hold Mommy's list- I really need your help holding this list, her can you put this item in the cart for me please, ooohh look at that over there! should we get red grapes or green? Just bombard her with questions to keep her distracted and if she is screaming just confirm every so often that she will not be getting out and go right back to distracting her with requests for help, questions or pointing things out. My son has to be entertained in the cart too- he loves it when I give the cart a good shove and then let go for just a bit and say "bye-bye" and then I catch it and push again. He also likes surprise speedy turns with a good "weeeeee" or "hold on!" for efect Snacks are helpful too- do you have one of those spill proof snack cups- if not you should get one. Good luck- this too shall pass but my vote is don't let her out.

This sounds just like our situation with our 27 month old! She even works herself up so much she vomits in the cart & on herself.

Anyway, my parents came into town for a month after the birth of DD2 & have only been gone for a couple of weeks. While they were here they did all of the grocery shopping for us. Well, I forgot to tell them about the big bad grocery store. My mom said DD1 behaved beautifully. When I asked about the tantrum she said that DD1 didn't do that with her. She just picked up DD1, put her in the cart, & started shopping. This happened two more times while my parents were here. DD1 was fine. Maybe you can have a friend or family member try it & then you reinforce it. I think it is just a matter of the kids knowing what works to get them out of the cart and with whom. DD1 didn't know what she could/couldn't get away with with my mom & dad because she doesn't interact with them often. They established what was acceptable & expected without waiting for resistance.

The first trip we had post visit was iffy, but I just kept driving/shopping. She "fussed" for a minute or two then stopped. The second trip was a little worse, but I managed to find a couple of flash cards for some foods (apple, banana, crackers) and asked her to point to those items when she saw them. It kept her occupied & at the end of the trip I praised her profusely for being such a good girl. So far all is still going really well, we just have to stay strong about standing our ground about her riding in the cart.

Sorry this is so long but hopefully something in it is helpful. :-)

At that age, you are better off going alone if that is possible :) I used to shop at nite or on weekends when my husband was home. If that's not possible, try a reward system. If she stays in the cart until after you check out, she gets a sucker or treat by the registers (Goldfish crackers, sf gum, ring pop, etc) or bring a small treat or toy from home and give it to her if she's stayed in the cart without fussing. Good luck!

Babywearing!!!!! I "wear" my YDS on my back while shopping, makes life so much easier! He will only sit still/quiet for about 5 minutes in the cart. Then he goes on my back. I have a Kozy Carrier (a mai tei style carrier, http://kozycarrier.homestead.com/Kozyinfo.html). But there are many other options. My back *never* hurts when carrying him around (he's only 1 now and 23 lbs, but I can also carry my 33 lb 3.5 y/o).

Here's a great blog about the different types of carriers http://betterbabywearing.blogspot.com/2010/03/babyweaing-...

Take some Love and Logic classes as soon as you can find them.

You have to have a plan in advance of the store visit. In the parking lot talk to her and say things like..."I have fun when spending time with you", tell her what is expected. She will have to sit in the basket, will not be allowed to disrupt the shopping by crying and throwing a fit...decide what is not going to be allowed. Keep the conversation simple with the main thoughts being...if she starts throwing a fit it's not fun for you anymore, you want to spend time with her that is fun, not crying and fighting. That she will have to leave.

Have a friend waiting in the parking lot to come in and take her if she acts out. It can't be the fun friend that the kids like the best. It has to be the strict one. In my case it's my husband or me. If I take J in the store and he acts out I call my hubby and out J goes, kicking and screaming. If it's him in the store and j acts out it's me that goes in and removes him. We are always apologetic "I'm so sad that you can't be in here...I wish we could have spent this time together because I enjoy having fun with you. I'll see you later, bye bye", then out he goes. It only took a couple of times and then when I say "Are you wanting to have fun or leave he straightens up and acts right.

I learned these techniques at Love and Logic classes at our local elementary school that offered them free to parents. They also have them at our local Mental Health facility.

You have to put your foot down...I know I have been throught this over & over again & still am with my 20 month old.I have tighten the belts so for she doesn't wiggle out of them then she does here we go into a standing position then reaching to get something that she sees all the time it is nerve racking because if you yell or raise your voice someone will hear you then your afraid of what they got to say or call the police thinking your abusing your child in the mean time trying to keep calm keep her safe & let her know iti is unacceptable to get up in the shopping cart.As stores become crowded I must say that saving shopping trips till the evening when dad gets home or on the weekends without the kids in tow is sounding really good to me...
The bribes aren't going to work come on mom tell her before you exit the car that you expect her to behave this time if she gets up you must leave the store & will come back another time..Sit her down as if she is comfy then let her know your buckeling her in for safety & to remain that way till we are done & I get you out of the cart..It is about talking & tone at this point it is frusrtaing because you feel that everyone is lokking at you & they wonder why can't that mom get her child to behave..This one is a kicker as i'm talking to my daughter & adjusting her belt again the cashier has to tell her to sit down while i'm talking I wanted to say lady I have this under control I don't need you to tell her anything ring me up & be done with it..If this happens again I will say something to her it happens to be a store I shop at weekly & she is always my cashier

do shopping when your husband is at home...i try to do this but sometimes is imposible so i do 3 things
1 i give them some cookies
i let them scream if they want to get up they usually just do it for about 5 min (also ignore all the people that look at you )
carry a book or toy she like
my little girl always have a toy story book and my son a little bal hardl thya already know if they thrown it away i am not going to pick it up

sometimes is a little easy some times is so crazy and hard and all the people watching you.

t

Is she uncomfortable? Do you have a cart cover?

Before you even enter the grocery store, in a stern voice tell her "We are going shopping, you can walk IF you hold onto the shopping cart. If you don't do this, you will immediately have to be sat in the cart."

If when in the store she lets go of the cart, you can first give her a warning, if she doesn't listen, sit her in the cart.

Practice this routine before a big shopping trip. Take her on small shopping trips or test shopping trips. You can also get her involved by making a list of items that she can help you get off the shelves.

The most important part is the pre-warning.

My son did the exact same thing at the same age. It was MADDENING. What helped was this: Before going into the store, I would tell him how I wanted him to act: You will stay in your seat, use a quiet voice, help by holding groceries and looking for groceries... and say it in a voice like it would be fun. I would then say, "If you stand up or scream, we will leave." I would go to the grocery store when I didnt really need anything, and the second he yelled or stood up, we left.
It was even better when we went with my husband. Then, he would scream and I would take my son to the car while my husband finished shopping. My son HATED missing out on the fun.

I did this consistently with him and after @ 5-10 times he got better (but still not perfect).

He is now 30 months and seems to have outgrown the worst of it. He still has problems every once in a while and I still have to take him out to the car.

Someone else suggested the carts shaped like a car. Those did NOT work for us. At first, he was excited to be in it, but after a few minutes was hanging out the side of it dragging the top half of his body on the floor and screaming to get out. Plus, they are really hard to push around quickly.

I think some kids (like my son and your daughter) just do this. Lots of people assume that you are not parenting correctly because their child didnt do this and yours does, but their kids arent doing it because they do not want to.

Good luck and it will get better!

Discipline will teach her against all these behaviors. I have to shop alone with 3 kids 5, 3 and 1. They all know not to scream, try to get out of the cart, stray form the cart, mess with stuff on the shelves, etc. It started from day one at home with each of them as they tried these things. One calm warning, then firm consequence on second warning. My oldest 2 each have been disciplined once at the store, my oldest for trying to squirm out of the cart when I said "no" when she was about 18 months. After two "no's" she was taken to the bathroom for a swat. That was the only time and now she's 5. My son got a swat for running away once. My one year old is sharp and reacts to "no" having witnessed the other two being disciplined all along. The key is starting at home so it's not new in public. Even if you do that though, they may be worse in public until you show them it's not allowed there either. It sounds harsh to be firm before things escalate, but it prevents thing form getting out of control. Again, I take all 3 with me everywhere, we have fun, I can count on them to behave, and discipline is very rare, because being firm was effective.

take your own belt and buckle it behind her. I say let her scream it out and go about your business shopping. if you don't give into it she will eventually stop as she's not getting a response from you. good luck!!!

Have you tried just being a parent with rules and if you do not obey then discipline. I think we as parents some times tried to be our children best friend before being the God fearing parent God has instructed us to be in His word.

My son usually does great. We have a cart cover with a little pillow on it, and he holds food, or the list. If he wants out, he knows that he has to hold my hand. We have never had to bribe him and was only once on the way out of the store when he realized the consequence and was better. Can you take your husband with you so that she can learn what she needs to do with one of you focusing on her and the other shopping?

I don't know your town, but many grocery stores have a little play land inside where you can drop and shop. I'd be worried about germs, but try to go during a non busy time.

Also, I always looked for the cart shaped like a car where they sat inside like they were driving.

And I always gave them a snack while sitting there.

And when they are on the ground, enlist her help. Ask her to find the Cheerios or Corn Flakes, even if you don't need it, you can replace it or leave it at the front.

This is a stressful one b/c it literally chews up your time and concentration when you're trying to read labels.

I always hesitate to ask mom's to shop while hubby can watch, b/c I don't have that luxury with my husband's schedule. We'd never have food if I waited for him. I did find a mom in my neighborhood once where we swapped childcare while the other one shopped. That worked great!

Happy shopping!

Let your husband do the grocery shopping or put the baby in the part where the groceries go and shop for the major things only, save the others for when you are able to get your husband to babysit.

I had had enough, and I no longer take either of my kids to the grocery. I was becoming a nightmare, and now I absolutely refuse. I now go on weekends or after bedtime.