Snoring DH, Light Sleeper (Insomniac) - Sleeping Alone

Very common. My hubby snores. When it was bad, I'd sleep in another room. He's lost weight, so it's definitely better. I always sleep better if I get to bed first, and I sleep with a small pillow on my head and a fan on to create white noise. If I don't get to sleep first, then I usually end up sleeping in the guest room.

Now, maybe you can go to bed at the same time, fall asleep together, and if you wake up you can switch to the other room. That way, you're falling asleep together.

My husband works nights, so I'm lucky to get the bed to myself most of the time.

I have also had sleep issues since childhood, and my hubby is a very active sleeper. He has literally shoved me off the bed in his sleep, and even gave me a black eye once! Lol.

On weekends when he is home, he sleeps in bed with me. I usually try to fall asleep with him first, but if he starts snoring or flopping around I don't hesitate to go to my DD's bed (SHE sleeps very deeply and quietly, and has a full-size mattress so I is quite comfortable. Plus she loves waking up to find me with her. Lol.) or to the couch.

What Patricia G said, I get up many times during the night, so I try to start out with him when he's home since it makes him happy. First hot flash, I'm off to the couch.

It's weird how we want to train our kids to sleep alone in their own space, then think it's bad that an adult wants to sleep alone, huh?

:)

We are living parallel lives... I could have written this almost word for word. And we're happily married so I think it's ok. There have been posts about this and if you research, I think ~30% of couples are like this. So long as intimacy is maintained, it's fine. Builders are getting more and more requests for dual master suites actually it's becoming so popular. I have friends in the same situation too. We laugh. It's like our dirty little secret bc we feel like people will assume we are unhappily married but it's not that. It's our sleep issues and in some cases loud husbands... My husband was bummed at first but now gets it. I hope someday when I have more flexibility to sleep in if I don't sleep well that I can try to sleep with him more often but for now, I'm tired half the time as it is. I'd be a wreck if he kept me up too.

YES YES AND YES! My DH and I love each other very much but we have a special needs child who DOES NOT, LET ME REPEAT, DOES NOT sleep at night!! The only way we can get her to sleep is if she sleeps in my bed with me. We struggled for years and years trying to get her to sleep in her bed. One night i said F this, she is sleeping with me. I was so freaking exhausted! I was seeing double! That first night the freaking kid slept 5 hours straight! Which is of course a long freaking time for me after sleeping for oh 1.5-2 hours a night. OH let me tell you, it was heaven!! We are like you, we still have our intimate time together and we make sure we do, but we get better sleep if DD sleeps with me and we both get a good night sleep! I say, do what you gotta do and if it works for you... more power!

Sorry for using *freaking to much. I am just excited someone else has the same situation as me. :)

LOL - my husband and I have been sleeping in separate beds during the week for years and love it. On the weekends or holidays I might start out in his room but I like to sleep where it's cooler and less snoring so usually end up in the other room in the middle of the night. Ugh and that man wakes up to pee at least 3 times a night =) On the weekends I usually end up snuggling with him as well since he sleeps in more.

I keep my room at 78 with a window AC (he sleeps in 80 degree weather - ack) and I have an air filter for white noise. And despite what most people believe, we still have a very active sex life...

I used to think sleeping together was an important part of a relationship, but the constant lack of a good night sleep can cause lots of problems.

This situation is actually much more common than people talk about. Good Morning America (or was it another news show?) just did a piece on it this week. We aren't there yet, but my husband and I have talked about how he interferes with my sleep. Right now he travels a lot for work so I get a break!

There might be things that can be done. My husband also has allergies and asthma and was just diagnosed with mild to moderate sleep apnea. We are waiting for his new dental device to see if it helps. It's always worse when he forgets to use his inhaler, his antihistamines and his nasal spray. Is your husband doing everything he can to control his asthma and allergies? If not, start there. I also think he should be evaluated for sleep apnea.

my dh and i sleep happily together, but if one of us was having trouble sleeping, we'd sleep happily apart and snuggle together outside of sleeping time.
please don't listen to the demonstrably incorrect advice that this will have an adverse affect on your marriage. i know many, many people who sleep separately and have had delightful decades-long relationships.
sleep is vitally important to your entire life, including your marriage. do what you need to do in order to get enough sleep.
khairete
S.

Are we married to the same guy? DH and I have been married almost 22 years. We have been sleeping in different bedrooms for 21 of those 22 years and we're both very happy. He sleeps with an apnea machine and I'm a very light sleeper. I can't stand to be in a bed where anyone other than me moves during the night. Intimate time is not lacking and we have the added bonus of extending an invitation when we want to have some fun. It works for us. We both sleep better and I'm much better at everything when I'm somewhat rested - I'm a partial insomniac too. If you have the extra space, use it and be happy.

I feel your pain! my husbands leaves at 4:30 am too. and snores so loud I can hear him rooms away. I know he has sleep apenea, and he needs to deal and get to the doctor.

I do too, and now have a dental device that helps a lot. I know I wouldn't use a CPAP.

Some people have been giving you advice about your insomia, and I just wanted to mention that sleep hygiene, relaxation exercises, etc., are all well and good, but some of us have just been wakeful from childhood.

I often sleep on our very comfortable couch, then when I wake up in the night (I always do) I join my husband in bed. Then he gets up and the whole bed is gloriously mine. Keeping th house really cold helps too.

Has anyone found ear plugs that really work, but don't hurt?

You are not alone. My MIL and FIL have separate bedrooms. My mom has "moved out" of her bedroom multiple times. Snoring is really hard to handle, especially if you are a light sleeper!
If it is working for you, then great. I would like to suggest 2 things though. 1- have your husband checked for sleep apnea. My dad has it and now sleeps with an oxygen machine. My mom and dad now are able to sleep in the same bed; he no longer snores, his health is no longer at risk and they are both getting sleep now. 2-Try essential oils. The one I use is called leBreezy and I bought it from Butterflyexpress online. I sprinkle a bit under each of our pillows each night. It opens your nasal passages. I will also mix some into lotion and spread it on my chest if I am stuffed up. It has eliminated my husbands snoring by 90%. My other MIL started using it a few months ago and swears by it as well!

Occasionally DH and I sleep apart. My ILs do all the time. FIL is a restless sleeper, even after the CPAP. Nobody was getting any sleep. She has her space and he has his and they visit...kind of like how it worked in castles with kings and queens. It is not my first preference to sleep apart, but when (recent example) you and your spouse are sick and coughing and keeping each other up, that is a good reason to sleep apart. I think that if you feel that your DH is missing you, that you should continue to talk to him about it. Maybe sometimes, when you have nowhere early to be, you can spend the night. A compromise.

A friend found out that not only did she have insomnia, she didn't get into a deep sleep, ever, and had sleep apnea. Maybe you should both go for a sleep study. I wish my DH would.

My husband snores too - sometimes a lot, sometimes not too bad. If I go to sleep first, and am totally asleep before he comes to bed, I can almost always last the whole night without moving. If he goes to sleep first, or comes in while I'm still awake reading, I don't even bother trying. I have no chance of falling asleep after him. Luckily we have an extra room down the hall.

I feel bad about it and it makes me sad to remember I time when it was so much harder to sleep without him, but I just can't make it work.

I also get frustrated because his snoring is, in part, due to being overweight (not obese, but he can certainly shed a good 20-30 lbs). When he weighs less, he snores less.

I sleep with earplugs and a sleep mask, but still usually sleep better before DH comes to bed. I go to bed earlier than he does most nights. Still, I prefer sleeping in the same bed with him. I don't sleep great anywhere. He doesn't snore very often, but I'm a very light sleeper, and he is a loud sleeper. I hear every breath and every move. We also use a fan for white noise which you wouldn't think I would need with earplugs, but I do.

I just read an article about this a couple of days ago. Basically, there's a pretty high percentage of people who do this for whatever reason (mostly the ones you also have). If it works for your family, then that's what's best for your family.

My husband snores, too, like a train is running through our bed all night. He also has sleep apnea, so he started using a CPAP machine. Snoring stopped, but he sounded like Darth Vader breathing. I still couldn't sleep through that. The thing that works for me is earplugs. They're not perfect and I can still sometimes hear him, but they're good enough.

If he's getting up super early, or coming to bed super late, he'll sleep in another room because he knows his shuffling around will wake me, earplugs or not.

Sleep is so important. I DO sometimes wish we just flat out had different bedrooms. I sleep better alone. I just do.

We had this problem and he went for a sleep study and found out he had apnea. Both the Doctor and he didn't think it would turn out that way but it did. Has a machine now, all is quiet and he sleeps through the night. Something to consider...

I've done this sometimes.

You might want to have your husband tested for sleep apnea though. You may not be the only one sleep deprived.

Due to untreated sleep apnea & wildly different sleep schedules, O. of us would frequently bail out of our bedroom.
We were very happily married, but slept better apart when the rubber hit the road.
O. CPAP machine later, no O. bails out. It's better.
But if you can't modify the distractions, you have to do what you have to do.

Hi, Sally:

Your condition and your husband's condition needs medical
intervention.

Sleeping in another room is going to affect your marriage. You have addressed that it is starting to.

Look into getting some digestive aids for his allergies.
www.enzymedica.com

Look at getting a blood test for allergies.
www.Elisaact.com

For you with Insomnia:
Do you drink caffeinated drinks?

Both of you need to change your lifestyle to keep your
marriage intact.
Good luck.

My husband snores on a daily basis and it can get pretty bad. I'm also a light sleeper so I began earing earplugs to bed, way before I met my husband. It generally works and I'm able to sleep next to him.