Sleep Schedule / Habits

We made the same mistake with our first, so I was determined with our second to not let it happen again. Which meant, nighttime feedings, I got up out of bed and went into the living room and sat in our big comfy chair to nurse her. Once she was done I put her back in her bed and then went back to sleep. That is also when we put our oldest (then 2) in a toddler bed at the foot of our bed. We told him that baby sister was sleeping in her own bed and that he needed to be a big boy and sleep in his own bed. It worked out well for us. Then when our daughter was about 4 months old, both of their beds were moved into their own separate rooms and then everyone was sleeping in their own beds in their own rooms. There will still be times they wake up and want to climb in bed, but you have to stay firm and consistent and no matter how tired you are, put them back in their own beds, however many times it takes. Consisitency will give you the sleep that you need in the long run! Good luck!

I can sympathize completely with your situation. My almost 3 year old son slept with us until he was 2 1/2; I was about 5 months pregnant with our baby girl (who is now 5 months old). Our son decided on his own one night that he wanted to sleep in his own bed, soo... surprised but curious to see what would happen since this was really out of character, we let him. He's been in there ever since. Granted, for some reason we were really lucky that he decided to do it on his own; we didn't have to endure what can very often be a huge sturggle and transition period for everyone. However, I think that a few things really helped: 1) He had his own bed and room waiting for him when he was ready for it, 2) We still lay down with him at night while he falls asleep (I'm actually really grateful for that quiet time with him), 3) We let him know that there was nothing to be afraid of and that our bed was open for him to come into anytime he wanted (he will still usually come in with us in the early morning). This all happend during a time when we were preparing him for the arrival of his little sister, so there was a lot of talk about being the "big" brother, and I think he was interested in taking on that role.
As for your new baby and night time feedings, in my experience, our baby sleeps better in her own crib, so night time feedings are quick and few. I had to tough it out for a few nights, getting used to getting up out of bed for a few minutes vs just rolling over for a feeding, but it was surprisingly fast getting used to the change. Plus, like I said, I'm up at night a lot less all together. And on top of that my new baby is developing much better sleeping habits (I can already see it!!) than my 3 year old did.
Good luck!!

First off I would try to start having your four year old sleep on the floor. Get a really cool sleeping bag that she can pick out and have her start there and then transition her to her own bed in her own room. From the first time you have her sleep on the floor do not let her sleep in your bed again. I had the same problem with my four year old daughter as well a couple months ago and now she sleeps fine in her own bed. She gets five minutes a night to lay in mommy & daddy's bed and then it's off to her own bed. Another trick that worked for us was getting her excited about her bed and her room. We let her pick out things that she liked(like horse string lights, etc.) and now she loves her room. With your new baby once that 2-3 month mark hits or when she sleeps more through the night put her in her crib in her room so you don't have to worry about it again in four years. I always kept my daughter in a bassinet next to my bed, so it made the transition to her crib easier for both of us. You will enjoy having just you and your husband in your room after the guilt and worry wear off. Good Luck!

S.,
I can totally relate to your situation. I have a 4 yr old and an 18 month old. I breastfed both and found the only way I could get any sleep was to bring them into our bed at night. Here are some things I've found to work:

1. For the 4 year old, put a comforter on the floor and tell her that if she wakes up at night and wants to come into your room, she needs to lay on her little bed.
If you really are serious about her staying in her room, it requires continuing to carry her back into her bed each time -- and Dad should do it when he's there...but I personally am fine with our daughter sleeping next to our bed if she wakes up and comes into our room.

2. As for the baby, I brought both babies to sleep with me when they would wake up at night to nurse. When my husband grumbled, I told him that he could stay awake while I nursed and then put the baby back in the crib when she was finished. It was hard enough for me to get up and take care of the baby without having to also stay awake for the nursing and put her back in the crib. Now, the pediatric association will say to not have the babies in bed due to the risk of rolling over on them and smothering them. If you or your husband are sound sleepers -- or if you get totally exhausted, it's a good idea to not have the baby in your bed. For the first 4 months, I kept a bassinet next to my bed and would put the baby back in the bassinet as soon as I could (ie, whenever I was awake to do it).

So, if you have the energy to put the baby in the crib/bassinet each time -- terrific. If not, you'll probably have to sleep train the baby at a later date. I may not be a good role model here...I let both kids sleep in our bed for about 15 months...then I used Kim West's book, Good Night, Sleep TIght , as a guide to training them to sleep in their own beds.

Anyway, hope this helps!
L.

My kids ending up sleeping with us for a while mainly because of living arrangement but my son was 14 mos when we first put him in his own bed and I would go in there and comfort him. Well by 2 he was still in his crib but we had to move in with my BF sister to save money so now he was back in bed with us once again. Now his sister was born when he was 16 mos old and I attempted getting her to sleep on her own because of breast feeding amd me being so tired it was just easier. Well in Dec 05 we finally moved into our own place so I now had a 2 1/2 yr old son and 13mos daughter to transition to their own beds.

My son we simply explained to him what we were doing. We told him how he has to sleep in his own bed.He of course was not thrilled and would scream and get up numerous times. I simply kept telling him this is where he sleeps and would walk him back to his room calmly. For him this was traumatic. We did allow him to sleep with us the first night after a few hours of this and kept increasing the time he had to be in his bed until he basically slept there all night. The first two weeks were the absolute worse and I was in tears myself! After two weeks he basically was use to this new bed and his new room. Still time to time he get in bed with us but on occasion or when he is sick.

Now my daughter wa 14 mos and went into her crib after only sleeping with us and was still breast feeding. The first night I did that nurture approach where you stay by their bed till they fall asllep and gradually take your self further away from them and in 7 day supposedly thye should sleep on their own no promblems! Well with my daughter this did not work. We gave up that night allowed her to sleep with us and the next night we did the cry it out method. her father dealt with her by going in there and talking to her and not taking her out of the bed. I allowed her to breast feed 1 time throughout the night for comfort, but after 3 days of cry it out she was sleeping better than her brother ever did at this age.

This is what I did I think an infant in the bed is not a huge deal as long as you move them around 4-6mos. I understand wanting to do it now . Now the 4 year old in my opinion is old enough to be moved. maybe get her a night light, flash light, and special bed time toy to help her in the new situation.

GOOD LUCK

I can't help you out too much with the 4 year old, but with the 2 week old, get a pack n play or a bassinet and put it in your room. My son was in the bassinet until he started waking for only one feeding. Now he's in his crib, but I usually only have to get up once to feed him. Good luck!

And my almost-4 year old boy sleeps in his bed but usually comes to join us around 5 in the morning, so nothing's perfect!

I can give you good incentive NOT to put an infant in your bed...my husband in a paramedic and I worked for years and an EMT and ER Tech, and we have both seem (numerous times) infants that were found dead in their parents beds. I know that many people will tell you that they did it and nothing happened, but think about the ones who have lost a child. At times, I was tempted to put my child in bed, but I never wanted to be one of the moms who stood in an emergency room saying good-bye to her baby.