Sleep Problems at 4.5 Months?!?!

A child is supposed to get that much sleep in total. One waking isn't too bad. I know it's a bit early, but not terribly so, have you considered any solids? I know some start as early as 4 months, many at six, some as late as 8. Maybe a solid feeding before bed might help.

HI,
I would highly recommend a book to you called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. We also had sleep problems with our daughter when she was an infant and my pedi recommended it to me and it was great. It does talk about letting them cry themselves back to sleep. I had a hard time with doing that at first too but then my pedi put it to me in a very clear way. HE said, Allowing your child to cry themselves to sleep is teaching them to self soothe themselves to sleep, it is a skill just like rolling over, crawling, or walking that they need to learn. You wouldn't want to prevent them from learning those skills so why would you want to prevent them from learning how to go to sleep and go back to sleep on their own. That really helped me to understand how important it is that they learn to be "good sleepers." I must tell you that our daughter is 2.5 years now and she is a fantastic sleeper! I really encourage you to at least read the book and consider the strategy...it works!

Hi L.. My name is E. and I have three sons ages four, two, and seven months. All three of my boys woke to nurse throughout their whole first years (well, except for our seven month old who is not yet one, but is still waking!). One thing I would suggest is finding a constant bedtime. There is a big difference between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. If he doesn't have the consistancy of a schedule he may be kind of confused about when it is OK to want to nurse.

I can't believe he was sleeping 9+ hours straight through while breastfeeding!!! That is incredible. When he wakes to nurse does he then just go back to sleep? I'm not sure why this would've started, but by now it's probably just habit. Our seven month old goes to sleep at 7 p.m. and was regularly waking to nurse at 10:30 p.m., 2 a.m., and 4 a.m. He was really late to start solid foods, so I thought he probably was actually hungry. Now that he's doing better with solids he will usually skip either the 10:30 or 2 a.m. feeding, but I still bring him into bed to nurse whenever he wakes. It's a bad habit, but personally I enjoy the time together and it doesn't bother me ... yet. I should also mention that our four and two year olds are great sleepers despite my allowing them to nurse at night for the first years of their lives.

That's really besides the point though! Sleeping through the night is actually considered to be midnight through 5 a.m., so your son is really doing very well. It sounds like he gets a good seven hour stretch each night, is that right? Is that ALL he sleeps during the night? Because yes, he probably should be getting 11-12 hours of sleep at night, but that doesn't mean without waking at all. Even though he wakes to nurse, our seven-month-old sleeps from 7 p.m. to 7 or 8 am., so that still counts, especially since he's half asleep while nursing.

I do, however, see your frustration since your son slept for such a long stretch previously. If you really want him to stop waking up to nurse at all and are confident he isn't hungry, and since you don't want to use the cry-it-out method, here is my suggestion. When he wakes, don't nurse him. Go in his room and try to settle him back down (try not to pick him up if you can help it) without nursing him. Then it will break the habit and he will learn to realize he won't get fed if he wakes up and cries. Then, when he wakes for the morning, nurse him.

Good luck!

E.

Hi L.~
I had the same problem with my baby boy. He just turned 1 this last week and has been sleeping through the night for about 7 months now. I finally also got him to go to bed by himself, by giving him a bottle first while rocking then laying him down for bedtime while he is awake and he actually likes to go to bed now! I tried the cry it out method and let me tell you, it SUCKS! It was hard for me to let my baby just cry but i took a little different approach to it. I layed him in bed while awake, and if he started to cry, i waited 5 min before i would go in and check on him. Then i would go in, comfort him, and walk back out. Then i would wait 10 minutes before going in and comforting him and i kept increasing my time by 5 min. each time. After about 1 1/2 hours of this he had fallen asleep. The next night it took about 45-60 minutes and then the 3rd night a little less and by the 4th night he was sleeping through the night. He would sleep for anywhere between 8 and 10 hours and then still take a small nap in the morning and one in the afternoon or early evening. I wouldn't let him sleep past 7pm though and i had him in bed between 10 and 11pm. He did however, get away from falling asleep on his own and would just fall asleep on my lap while i was rocking him at night but now he goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:30pm on his own and sleeps till 8 or 9 in the morning. It is wonderful! It only took a couple of nights of putting him to bed awake for him to learn to go to sleep on his own again. I think you just have to wait till they are ready on their own to fall asleep by themselves and we just have to try and be patient. My suggestion for the night feedings too is to try and have a bottle of water next to you and when he wakes at night, try giving him the bottle of water instead of breastfeeding him and he may realize that he doesn't really need to eat or it isn't what he wants and he will slowly stop wanting that late-night snack. Hope this helps you out and I hope you get some sleep! ~

L.-
I think that is totally normal. 4 months is way too young to be sleeping through the night. My son was 19 lbs 10 oz at 4 months & woke frequently. I think its quite the opposite, the bigger they are the hungrier they are when they are just having breastmilk/formula. Also they could be thirsty too even my 3 yr old still sleeps with a cup of water nearby & drinks it throughout the night. Don't wean him off the night feeding some studies have shown that babies get 1/3 of their calories at night & it also stimulates your milk production to have him nursing at night. I think it helps promote healthy sleep habits to nurse them back to sleep. I would try your best to get him into some kind of routine. And definitely just nurse him at night, doesn't he go back to sleep when he wakes up in the early hours after you nurse him? My son has always been an early riser waking up as early as 5 sometimes when he was younger. I would just take him into another room (playpen when he was younger) & lay down in the bed half-sleeping while he played. As he has gotten older he has got the message that when it is dark you sleep, just keep things quiet & dark. 4 months is quite young to have many expectations for how he should be sleeping though. Also I would try an earlier bedtime there is a window of opportunity for sleep that if you miss it its harder to get them to bed & they are more restless. You watch for cues such as staring off into space, yawning etc. For example my son who is 21 mos goes to bed at 7pm wakes up around 6 or 7 & naps at 12pm for an hour & a half or so. They sleep much better when they are rested, lately he has been trying to skip naps & its much harder to get him to bed when he does & he wakes frequently at night. "The No-Cry Sleep Solution (for babies & toddlers) by Elizabeth Pantley would be a very helpful book for you. You also have to remember this is such a short window of time to be responding to his needs. My kids are almost 4 & 2 & they both have very healthy sleep habits getting more sleep than most kids their age & they have not been left to cry it out. To me everything is a gentle process from teaching them to sleep, to pottytraining etc. nothing happens in a couple of months & if it does it is not healthy emotionally or physically for the child. You just have to remember it is all very temporary.
Brekka

Hi L. my name is M. W, new member I don,t know if this will help but be sure your little one is not getting to much sugar, even the natural fruit juices have a lot of sugar in them, sugar is as bad as caffine diffently will keep a baby up. When our little one did not want to take naps we had to rock her, she liked the comfort of a soft blanket being held and the rocking motion. It was a pain at night but usually it would work but when it would not I gave up and let her sleep with me, worked like a charm. Also some times changing the sleeping arrangments around helps, example if he is in a room
with lights and noise, try a quiet room with just a small night light. Let me know if any of this stuff helps

I think it is time to start some solids now, I found with my babies that when they have a time sleeping thru the night and need to eat, it means they are growing at a quick pace, normal for this age, in fact my son grew 2 inches in between 3 and 4 months. Plus they are now more active then usual, kicking more, maybe rolling, maybe wiggling into the circles, which burns up more energy, which requires more food as well. It will happen with every mile stone and each month, as they get more and more active, they will need more and more to eat. Its normal, its healthy, it happens. My son is now 8 and is a heathy normal boy, who is actually skinny, so it goes to show you cant over feed a baby, they know when they are hungry and when they have to eat. As for the crying it out method, there is an easier way to do this, it just takes time. What you do is the first week, you do what you normally do, then the next week you take away one thing, like maybe not feed him, but hold him like you normally do. Then the next week, you hold him a bit different. Then the next week, leave him in the bed, but massage his back (I say back because by this age mine where sleeping on their tummies because it was what they liked and could get into and out of that position) or whatever part until he falls asleep. Then the next week, just leave your hand on him. And then graduallly work your way out of the door. It is a long process, but some babies dont go thru the whole thing. I hope this all helps and Good Luck!

Snuggle spot...It is a baby bed/pillow that makes a baby feel like it is being held when you cant hold it. www.laneybug.net

I don’t know about you but I had a spoiled baby that only liked to sleep if someone is holding her. I got tired of sleepless nights so I invented this pillow that I call the Snuggle Spot. The pillow snuggles the baby so they feel like some one is holding them and they are safe. Babies love it, the first time I put my daughter in it she slept 9 hours straight and every night since! I put her in the pillow fully awake with a full belly, and swaddled. Since the pillow snuggles them the swaddle stays intact! I recently went out of town and I did not want to pack the portable crib, changing pad, etc. so I just took a chance and only took the pillow. It was amazing, even in a diff environment she slept all night. I just put her in the pillow in the bed next to me or on the floor next to me. It is the perfect Co-sleeper! I changed her diapers in it, She likes to watch colors and lights of the TV so i put it in front of the TV. It fits perfectly in portable cribs and in regular cribs. My Daughter has reflux and has to be elevated so that her formula stays down, The pillow slightly props her up so that she is comfortable and stays clean!!! If you have and questions or concerns or want to place an order feel free to send me a message. The pillow is totally custom, you can pick the fabric, name or saying.

do you think it has to do with him being very hungry- have you thought about cereal at bedtime. I know they say dont feed your child cereal until 6 months- but that worked for me- the went to bed on a full tummy.
good luck!

"The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It might take a while to help your baby sleep through the night, but her suggestions help you and your baby develop sleep routines and habits that will last throughout childhood.
Sounds to me like your son is growing like crazy and probably needs extra nursing. If you can't fit in enough during the day, he might continue to wake for feedings at night until things even out. I had great, big baby boys and never bought into the "they shouldn't need to nurse at night once they're "x" week old/months old/number of pounds. No matter what anybody said, I knew those babies were hungry!
Anyway, I highly recommend the book. Best of luck.

It is extremely important to let him learn to put himself to sleep. My husband and I had the same problem with our son. Our pediatrician warned us that we were going to have some serious problems if we didn't fix it early on. We finally picked a weekend and decided that he was going to learn to put himself to sleep. It only took two nights... they were rough, but well worth it. He now sleeps on his own. Once in a while he'll cry when we put him down, but just for 30 seconds or so, and then he'll calm himself down and try to sleep. Another thing our pediatrician told us, was to keep the same blanket and/or stuffed animal in his crib at all times, so he can see those objects as comforting or soothing.

Hi L.;

Your baby doesn't have an unhealthy sleeping patterns. And what is this "night crier" non-sense? Babies don't cry for no reason. They usually need something. Leaving them to cry makes no sense. He's probably just hungry and maybe wants to be with you more. My first born woke for a long time in the middle of the night, sometimes 2 or 3 times. He didn't sleep well during the day unless he was right next me. Some babies are just that way. (My other two weren't.)

We co-slept - That way he could nurse when he needed and none of us (including my husband) had to be fulling awaken during the night. It's unrealist to expect any baby to sleep through the night, and/or not get hungry, especially if they are exclusively nursing.

During the day I held him and nursed him alot. Since I could, I let him nap on my lap (I read lots of books) or I kept him close by. If he started to stir during a nap I snuggle up for a few minutes until he went back to sleep. Eventually he was my best napper - 2-3 hours a day on his own, but maybe not until after he was one or so. He's seven now, and happily falls asleep in his own bed every night.

He was my first so I had the time to hold him alot and I glad I spent the time. They grow up fast.

I'd recommend finding a local La Leche League leader and/or group to give you some support and advice. They're trained better than most doctors in real world advice. Also, get a copy of Dr. Sears "The Baby Book" Now there's a Phd that knows something.

Follow your instincts - nurse him, hold him and love him - you can't go wrong.

D.

This is what worked for my kids :) These are the things I would try...
1) If you are nursing change your diet- ask you doctor what items to eliminate- I would suggest all flour, wheat, eggs and nuts
2) A chiropractor can see in 5 minutes if his/her misalignment is causing the blood to not flow properly to his/her brain and/ or if you had a vaginal birth if something was moved improperly.
3) Here is a book you hopefully will have at your local library and can see if this is something you want to try http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Family-Bach-Flower-Essences...#
I personally don't beleive in the cry it out method. It just seems inhumane to me. An infants only way to tell us something is wrong is to cry and we need to focus on finding a solution to make him/her more confortable and content.

Just some things that have worked for my family :)

My daughter was the same way until I discovered Baby Wise it a book and they sell it at target or Wall-mart All my friends now use it and it is wonderful! Check it out! It basically says try to only feed baby there bottle only when they wake up. It's feed when they wake up then play time then sleep! However after bath and right b4 bedtime you give them there bottle. Now though out the day if they are eating baby food you can give them that a thought the day. This has saved my life she now takes 3 naps a day anywhere from an 1-3 hours and then in bed by 7:30 and up anytime between 6-7 am! Since us mom found this out we are sleeping again too! I highly recommend trying this method I am promising you will not regret it!

I dont necessarily agree with the "cry it out" method either, but going longer in between times you go in and deal with him may help. Also, you don't have to nurse him, just hold him till he settles or have your hubby do it as babies can smell their mothers breastmilk and it can cause him to get upset. And, I think babies of that age are supposed to get more like 12 to 14 hours of sleep a day/night, so and like you say, you could use the extra sleep yourself! My son who is now 14 months was a horrible sleeper until we stopped coddling him so much, I eventually was so exhausted that my hubby and I decided we needed to get him to go to sleep by himself instead of holding him for hours till he was in a deep sleep and carefully laying him down that I tried the "cry it out" method and it worked very well! He only cried for a few minutes and then went right off to sleep! I was so sure I was going to damage him physchologically by doing this that I waited until he was 9 months old to try it and wished that I would have done it sooner! Don't wait until you are so burnt out that you can't deal with it, the sooner the better to cut the so-called ties! Babies are resillient and don't hold a grudge, by the time he has a good nights sleep he will not have remembered that you made him do it himself. And he is probably only waking up from the habit not from the actual need to eat, he knows you will pick him up and nurse him and he knows that he will be lovingly put back to sleep by your boob! He knows which side his bread is buttered on! Lots o' luck to you and I hope this helps a little, remember, you are not alone in this!