Sex After Pregnancy

Welcome to motherhood! I think most of the moms on this site have been through this at some point in their life. the first thing you should do it contact your OB-GYN. there is blood work that they can do to see if your hormone levels are where they should be. I went throuh the same thing after each of my three children. My blood work was all fine. My OB told that is just a stage in a woman's life. She said that after having a child there are so many things running through your head, that sex is kind of shoved in the corner. First of all be thankful that your husband is understanding, most aren't, especially shen it comes to their "needs". One thing to try is getting some alone time with your husband without the baby. I know it is tough, but maybe she can have a "sleepover" at a family member or good friend's house. I know for me the baby monitor is a big distraction. It seems like I am always waiting for someone to wake up, so my mind is not where it should be. it is a tough time in ones life, but you are not alone!!!!

My husband and I went through this after our kids too. I couldn't believe it when my sister-in-law who had a baby 4 days after my first told me she was prego again after just 5 months because at that point I had no desire to even go there. I think just the memory of the pain of childbirth is a good deterent. It took me 3 years to be ready to go through it again. (not that it took 3 years to have sex, just to have it unprotected) I agree with one of the other advice givers. You don't have to have "intercourse" to satisfy your man.

R.:

I'm sorry to add that I too had the same issue after my pregnancys. I don't know what causes it other than the fact that your sleep deprived and tired all the time, caring for a baby is a enormous job and responsibility. I also had a great sex life prior to my pregnancy's and the fact that my mom lived with us just added to the entire "no sex" deal. I asked my doctor and he didn't have any help to offer other than telling me to get over it.....thanks Dr. Love. My best advise is to go away with your husband even if just for a day or a weekend without the baby and dedicate this time to him and yourself to re-energize what once was between you both. He is the reason you have a baby, don't neglect him. You owe to him and to yourself.

All the best, Aida

Try changing your routine. Go to bed an hour or two earlier. Try to get your husband to focus on other parts of your body during foreplay, your neck, jawline, inner arm, etc. - get him to focus less on your breasts (especially if you've been breastfeeding), don't worry, eventually they'll become sexual objects again instead of baby nurturing devices. Try initiating the encounter, it may help you to reawaken some of your former self, plus, you can control the timing. If your baby nurses and then goes to bed at 8 or 9, but wakes back up at 2 or 5, turn off the TV and bring your husband to bed a half-hour or so after she's asleep. Turn the monitor off, you don't need to hear every time she moves in her crib. - Don't worry, she's 9 months if she really wakes up she'll holler loud enough for you to hear her. Your libido won't come back instantaneously, but these little steps may help.

This is very normal. If you are breastfeeding, it also reduces sex drive. When this happened to me, my dr. recommend lots of foreplay and lube. Once i got into(even though i didn't really want to attempt sex) it was good. but the combo of hormones and tiredness don't help. it wasn't until i stopped breastfeeding completely that i started feeling normal again. I hope you husband is being kind and patient, pressure never helps the mood:)