Saying Goodbye to Breastfeeding

Hi!

I bf my baby girl until she was 18 months, too. (Only once a day.) I really loved the nice, peaceful bonding time between the 2 of us. I finally came to realize that she was ready to stop and it was me who was holding on to it. She would fidgit and pinch and roll around...I just decided to stop one night and see how she reacted. I was expecting her to be upset but she was totally fine with it! I guess it is just one of those things where you have to let them move on to the next step in life and let them grow...Now I am sooooo happy to be done with breastfeeding! We have fun and bond in other ways.

I think you should take this oportunity to say goodbye to the breastfeeding. 18 months of breastfeed is wonderful...but time to stop now. You'll find a different way to bond with him, and he will get over it sooner then you think!
Good luck!

Just let it be done but make this time still special for the 2 of you. You don't have to give up the cuddle time it sounds like thats the part you miss anyway. use this time to talk to him and get to know his thoughts. If you keep this going he will always know he has this close bond with you and can count on you. Make it lovey dovey, tickle time. He'll love it, it's still the one on one time with him.

J.

i never felt a letdown during breastfeeding ..maybe b/c i have a boob job...you don't have to stop bfing..at his age he doesn't rely on it..so he can snack on u..if you want to get your supply back up..here is my list..the last thing i mention on the list will really build up your supply..you can take 2 a day for 2 weeks and your supply will go up.

1. rent a hospital grade pump..Medela Classic is what i'm using..it's
$3 a day and totally worth it! OR better yet buy one off ebay and
when you're done you can re-sell it on ebay and get your money back.
i bought one and it works great..the medela classic is supposed to be
the best pump out there.
2. get the Easy Expression bra www.easyexpressionproducts.com it
holds both cups over you bb's and it's better to pump 2 at a time
3. eat oatmeal ....get the healthy kind i add bananas also i would
think pasta would be good b/c it retains water
4. Take "Lactation Supplement" by Gaia Herbs you can find it at the
health food store
5. try to pump at the same time every day...also try power pumping..
10 minutes pumping..then stop for 10 then 10 again and then stop and
so on. even pump if you aren't getting anything.
6. Make sure the white membrane thingies that attach onto the cups
are fairly new ..over used ones affect how much milk you get
7. Drink lots of fluids including Nursing Mom's tea or Mother's Milk
tea or the tea i prefer is www.breastea.com ..also drinks with
electrolytes like Recharge...Smart Water...Gatorade i notice on days
i drink a lot of fluids i have more milk
8. Eat barley..Barley Grass supplements are great. also..they have
barley bread at Trader Joe's if you have a Trader Joe's where you
live..or just buy barley. I buy a delicious barley tea at the
japanese market and i drink a couple of cups a day..it's decaf and
yummy.
i also drink Healthy Mom's drinks by Ensure
9.A warm wash cloth helps too ..apply to breasts before pumping or
try the breast heating pads that you heat up in the microwave.
10. Keep taking your prenatal vitamin..not getting a lot of milk
could mean a vitamin deficiency
even if you pump just a little ..save what you get and start adding
them together and then supplement with the milk that you pump..that's
why it's also good to pump after they've gone to sleep..then you help
build your supply and you also have more bb milk for baby..
11. nurse nurse nurse..triple up on nursing..you're going to have to
dedicate a week to it
the more you pump the more milk you'll begin to make.
12. LOTS OF REST..nap if you can ..milk builds when you rest
13. DHA supplements also are great for lactation..also found at the
health food store*
14. Alfalfa supplements are also great.
i think that's it..
15. Try a whey protein powder drink.. i use "Whey to Go" by
Solgar..you mix it with milk add some berries and a banana. it says
to check with your doc before using if you're bfing..so ask your
doc..i only drink one a day and i add a some Motherlove's "More Milk
Plus" to it.
16. Again you should double pump when you're pumping so make sure you
get the bra to make it easier on you!
17. Goat's Rue herb is also supposed to help boost
honestly drink LOTS of liquids
keep yourself moist ...don't take any birth control pills.
18. there is also this stuff called Motilium aka DOM a lot of mom's
use this ..it's for reflux but it builds up your supply.. you can
read about it on Kellymom.com http://www.kellymom.com/newman/19a-
domperidone1.html
and you can buy it here... http://www.inhousepharmacy.com/general/
motilium.html

Didn't read all the posts, but I'm in the bf till they really want to quit camp...I also tandem bfed. BF oldest 2 until they were over 3.5, youngest was a little over 4 when I had an operation & she quit on her own...although she still misses it a little & will talk about how wonderful it is. Cracks us up, that they remember. They have great memories of bfing that is mostly about being loved, held, safe, comforted & protected. And how Breast Milk is the sweetest, yummiest stuff in the world. Do what's right for YOU & your son, not your family & friends...it's your boobs...anyway, that's my 2 cents....take care & enjoy your amazing son!!

This is about YOU and YOUR SON. Do not let friends and family dictate how you parent your child - you will regret it.

There was a point - about 20 months - where I stopped nursing my daughter around most people because I was tired of hearing all of the opinions. So we nurse a couple times a day at home - and the most important thing is my daughter is secure and happy.
I wanted to ween my daughter, and right around that time, she got sick. I was so grateful that she was still nursing, as she recovered really fast.

Your milk supply is based on your child's demand, so he is probably getting enough. Other than when he is sick, he mainly only needs it for comfort anyway,

Listen to your heart, and your son. Ignore the rest - this isn't about them.

I have breastfed my children until a year, so maybe I am not so qualified to answer your question, but here it goes. If this is the "right" thing for you and your son...then keep doing it. Only YOU know when is the right time to give up this cherished time. Don't listen to anyone else, they do not know what this is like for you! I had some supply issues at one time and I drank Mother's milk tea. It seemed to work. Either way, by drinking the tea, you are drinking more, so it is a win/win. If you have a breast pump, you could pump whenever you could as that will boost up supply. And if your little person is upset and you are upset, you have your answer! Good luck with everything!

Sounds like the both of you aren't ready to say goodbye to breast feeding.

1. REST. Sleep or meditate when your little one is resting.
2. take Fenugreek supplements
3. eat well
4. put him on the breast more often and use active visualization. I take a breath and then picture a roaring cold stream, only it's milk instead of water pouring over the rocks when I put my monkey on the boob. Choose something else to picture or use mine. It always works for me.

Good luck.

Jennifer,

Listen to your child and to your heart.

(Others do not have to live with the consequences! It is YOUR precious relationship with your sweet child that is at stake here.)

Stress is a big reason for little milk let down. There are teas and other things that help bring milk back but that is a major cause.

If you do decide to keep breastfeeding(she said hopefully...) try to make it a special relaxing time for both of you. Your milk will come.

When you are ready to wean these times can slowly become a time for reading books together or a nice back rub.

I breastfed until my son was 41/2. Best thing I ever did for our relationship.

These next couple of years will be full of "no's" and power plays between you. Breastfeeding provides the bonding that keeps you both remembering what is really important. A time to reconnect after your day of working together. And some days will probably be a lot of work.

Mother Nature is no fool The "mothering" hormones that come to both of you through the breastfeeding process probably has a lot to do with why our species survived!

Humans only started weaning early in the last century, by the way.....for thousands of years we breastfed for far longer.

Whatever you decide I support you 100%!!! You are a beautiful, loving mom.

Brightest Blessings,
Deb

Being sad or depressed about this has nothing to do with your baby's needs - just yours. When you stop breastfeeding it is a reminder of the passage of time and how quickly our babies grow. That time twice a day was something no one else had with your son, so it was very special, but ... if you aren't producing, it will only lead to frustration for both of you, so I would suggest stopping while the moment and memory is good, rather than waiting for him to get upset more frequently because he is not getting as much as he wants. Just remember that for every stage your son passes out of, he enters something new and exciting!

I am currently breastfeeding my 23 month old daughter and neither of us are ready to quit. I believe that when to stop breastfeeding is up to you and your son so if you both want to continue, then continue. Of course family members will have their own ideas about how it should go, but it really is up to you. I know that there are some different herbs that are supposed to help increase milk supply, I believe fenugreek is one of them. I'm sure that you could fine out more information about increasing your milk supply through LLL or kellymom.com
Best of luck to you!

I nursed my daughter until SHE self-weaned, at about 2.5 years old. However, she never expressed a frustration with any diminished milk supply.

Mind you, at this stage, you will not feel a "let-down" per say. At least I didn't, but I knew I had milk still, I asked my daughter and she said I did. And when I squeezed my nipples, milk would come out.

Also, your son is only "nursing" twice a day.. thus, the diminished milk supply.

You can consult a Lactation Consultant about "increasing" your milk supply...but you will still need to come to a decision about when you want to wean him, or let him wean himself. Hypothetically, say you DO increase your milk supply... what then? Will you go back to nursing him more? Or less? Or STILL want to wean him, or let him wean himself?

Then the question is, do you want to do this for yourself, or for him? Weaning is bittersweet... but for both my kids, I let them self-wean. And they did. And it was fine. For me, and my Hubby, self-weaning was something we both believed in.

You can also do a google search and research "extended breastfeeding." This is what it is called.

You mentioned that you feel depressed about it and sad. That happens sometimes... but our children will grow up just fine, when weaned. And, as a Mom, we have to let them. But your son still seems upset about your diminished supply... but kids are adaptable, and he MAY get used to it.

But the thing is, you will have to find some sort of peace about it... and even if you DO increase your supply... then what? And, how long do you want to nurse? Sometimes, "our" time-line and hopes about it is not pertinent... because the child has their own level of "conclusion" about it or not, and their own timing.

Since you only breastfeed twice... that is a type of "weaning." And it may be that he is just upset over your body's natural diminishing of milk. Which does happen, as you nurse less and less. The body adjusts to the frequency.
But don't worry, it won't 'harm' him or traumatize him. But I think that a child will feel the anxiety a Mom has about it... and may react to that.

*as a side note: do you know for SURE that he is unhappy at the breast because of "diminished" milk supply? Or is it because, possibly, he does not want to nurse anymore??? The reason I say this is because my son at about 12 months old, just protested/grumbled whenever I'd put him to breast.. ...and he just wanted a bottle. I still had tons of milk. But, he had, on his own, decided he no longer wanted to nurse. He weaned himself. I took HIS cues, and I finally realized what he was telling me. Then he was much happier.

Only you can decide, and your son. Don't feel pressured by you other family members telling you to quit or not. YOU are the Mommy.

All the best,
Susan

If you are not ready to wean yet, don't. Is there going to be another milestone later that may provide another chance of weaning? I have a boy and a girl and I found that boys tend to be a little more attached to nursing. I went through similar situations as yours-- wanting to continue to breastfeed (my son was all for it) and afraid of not being able to wean him later on when he is too old, etc. But let me tell you, when either of you is really ready to wean it won't be that hard. And once he's weaned there is no going back. In my case, I nursed my son twice a day at 18 months, then dropped to 1 time a day at about 21 months and then I got pregnant. It became very uncomfortable when I nursed (sensitive nipple, cramps, etc), so I knew for me it was time to stop. It took my son 1 night (lots of cry that night) but guess what, the next night he was fine. My husband put him to bed for about a week and it was not bad at all.

So here is what I think - if the only concern you have about nursing right now is your supply, there are supplements (Fenugreek, etc)you can take, and that will help get your milk back. Take the maximum dose. But if there are other reasons that you don't want to nurse any longer, it will be fine too.. either your son is moving on, or you want a little more freedom, whatever, these are all good reasons to wean. But it really is a very personal decision, and I know that you will make a good choice. Best of luck, and congrats on being so successful with breastfeeding so far!!

I only nursed till 19 months, but that's because my son (who was nursing twice a day) stopped asking for it. We were on a "don't offer, don't deny" plan, and I was ready to end it whenever he was. BUT if you or your son aren't ready to stop, don't. I don't have any real advice on building milk supply, but just thought I'd tell you that if you're having such a hard time letting go, maybe it's not time yet!

Jennifer I breastfeed my son until he was 22 months it was only one time a day but he would still want it. I was encouraged by family members to stop sooner but I didn't listen and you will know when he is ready. If he is getting angry you might want to give him a cup of milk before he nurses so he can still get full. That is what I did and then by the time I knew it he didn't want to breastfeed anymore. You will make the right decision. Good Luck with it.

Hi Jennifer
Just wanted to let you know that this is a decision that is up to you and your son. It sounds like neither of you are quite ready to let this end. And that is ok. There is plenty of things that can give your supply a knock. Stress, being overtired, or your period could do it. Try drinking a little more water if you think that might be an issue. Or try eating some oatmeal or a between feeding pumping. Maybe your son could add back in a nursing session to increase your supply, if he is interested. You definitly can continue to nurse if you both wish. I am still nursing my son, he is a little over 2 1/2. I think also that no let-down is not necessarily a sign of dimishing supply. I do not remember the last time I had a let-down. Good luck with what ever decision you make

Jennifer, I am always a little upset to end breastfeeding, but listen to your body and your son, I think they are both telling you that they are done. Good luck

I loved breastfeeding too. Just let nature take its course. You have nurished your son with love for 18 months, take back your body and nurish yourself a little bit. Prepare yourself for the bigger steps still to come.

My son in 21 mos. I dont have let down anymore either. come to think of it, probably around 18 mos is when it stopped. He is still getting milk because I see it in his mouth when he comes off the breast to say something! LOL. You know I would say dont let any other person dictate what you do. If you and he want to continue, try some teas to increase supply. But maybe your supply is still there, just not as much. I believe our bodies know best. Good luck.

Jennifer,

Breastfeeding is a very personal thing and you should breastfeed until either you or your child or both of you are ready to stop. I nursed my first until he was 23 months old. At that point, between his nursing gymnastics and constant twiddling (he was a real pincher) I wanted to push him away more than I wanted to hold him close so I weaned him. My second son self weaned at 17-18 months. I tried forcing the issue a few times and he'd bite me. Once he bit me hard enough to have blood dripping out of the end of my nipple, I took the hint and let him wean. LOL

As far as well meaning folks telling you to wean, it really isn't any of their business. It is really up to you and your babe. No one else is entitled to an opinion (in my opinion!)

As far as being depressed about weaning, that is so normal. It is like many milestones in your child's life. You celebrate their growing at the same time you mourn it. Stopping breastfeeding is a huge step in admitting that your baby isn't really a baby any more. It is a lot like sending your kid to kindergarten. You are excited and happy for them but it still breaks your heart to see them growing. With nursing, you have the added benefit of all those mommy hormones that get out of whack when you wean. It is pretty similar to postpartum depression so if you get really depressed, see your doctor.

It is possibly to get your supply up at any point. The question is "is it worth it to you to do it at this point" or should you just keep on with what you are doing? You'd either have to start nursing more or you'd have to start pumping. Really you are the only one who can decide if it is worth it to you at this point to do it.

Good luck to you. I'm sure you will feel better once you've decided what you want to do. Sometimes making the decision is the hardest part - no matter what you decide.

:-)T.

My son is 23m and we're nursing 3x a day. Don't stop till you're emmotionally ready and he is too. Sometimes our supply goes through phases. Just be sure you're eating & drinking enough, getting rest, not too stressed out... you'll be fine. I recommend many Le Leche League books, amazing info about Toddler feeding... other issues as well. Good luck! Keep up the GREAT work.

Hi. Follow your heart. If you want to continue breastfeeding then do it! It's very beneficial for you and your baby. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for the first two years. To increase your supply, try having a beer. Hops can increase your milk supply and a little alcohol will help you relax and let down. Don't drink more than one though just to be safe. Mother's Milk Tea is excellent for nursing mothers. I've read several articles in Mothering Magazine about nursing into toddlerhood. Best Wishes!

You breastfeed till YOU want to stop or he pushes you away and says "no more". It's a wonderful time of bonding between you and your son. I breastfed my youngest till he was two, when I was ready. I had folks comment about how old he was and was I going to continue when he was in preschool, etc., but I ignored them. Congratulations for your 18 months of breasfeeding, and your supply might increase if you breasfeed more often. If you're happy with just twice a day that's fine too. You're the mom and don't let well meaning friends and family tell you what you should/shouldn't be doing.

Don't give up the cuddling! This is the time to start going to the library and reading books together about the times you would normally nurse. My kids all became early readers, LOVED to read and what a beautiful habit to have given your child.

I just thought I'd say that it was very nice to see everyone respond in such a positive way. My 15 mo old daughter is still nursing. I nursed my two older sons but only until they were 12 months. I have people telling me that it is time to stop but I have the same feelings, that this bonding time is special and I'll never have this chance again. I was thinking of looking into ways to wean her off more easily but now I'm assured that her and I will know when it is time for us.

Jennifer, if you want to continue breastfeeding then by all means you should. It is healthy for him and comforting as well. And it is a great bonding time that you have with him. I breastfeed my 21 month old daughter still and am not sure when I will stop. But breastfeeding until he is 2 is a very good choice I think. There are books you can read about the benefits of nursing a toddler. The Sears (a married couple, Dr. Bill & Martha) have some books about it. As far as increasing your milk supply, you can try to nurse a little more often or there is a natural herb that you can get from health food stores. Here is a link to the different herbs that work for doing that. http://www.kellymom.com/herbal/milksupply/herbal_galactag... I really hope this helps. I believe that when the time is right you will know it. If you are so upset about and so is he then maybe you should continue. I know I am not yet ready and my daughter loves our time together. Good luck Jennifer in whatever you decide.

my daughter is two and still breastfeeding, but I have cut her back to once a day. At 18 months, she still wanted booby every two hours, and I just couldn't take it. I knew she could do without it, so I cut her back to three times a day, then two now one (she bit me and I was done). She was very upset, but I sat her down and talked to her about it and she knows that she gets it once a day. She still asks for it occasionally, but I offer her water or milk.

The other thing is that it is getting hot, so drink more water. Have a spoonful of honey about an hour before you breastfeed. Relax! if it is over, it is over, but that is up to you and your son.

You can still have cuddle time. Instead of breastfeeding just sit and cuddle with a cup or sippy and do what you did while breastfeeding. We do that when she is very unhappy.

Talk to your son. They understand way more than we give them credit for.

Good luck
R.

i stoppped at 15 months and it was depressing too. i wish i had kept up at least one feeding a day. if you feel up to continuing, there are a lot of resources - kellymom.com, thepumpstation.com.

either way, breastfeeding for 18 months = amazing! :)

This is not a group decision, this is your decision. You need to do what is right for you and your son. Yes, you can get your milk supply up, drink lots of water and Mother's Milk Tea, make it an ice tea and drink, drink, drink, take fenugreek, make sure you are well rested and not too stressed, etc. If you're not ready and your son isn't ready then the timing is not right. Follow your heart and your son's lead and you'll know when the timing is "right".

My daughter is 17 months. I plan to nurse until at least 2. I found the information on Kelllymom about toddler nursing to be incredibly helpful and encouraging:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/toddlernursing.html

This is the best info I've found about boosting your milk supply:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/bf/galact.asp

Always follow your own heart, not the advice of other interested parties -- this is your journey. Enjoy it.

My daughter is 14 months and there will be days where my milk does not let down. I breastfeed more than twice a day... but it tends to happen the less you breastfeed and totally normal. My family is involved in LA LECHE LEAGUE and I recommend that you contact one in your area... they are very helpful. And I would do what YOU feel comfortable doing... I plan on breastfeeding my toddler until she feels she is ready to quit.. My inlaws think its weird and disgusting - but i love the connection and the nutrients she gets and when she gets sick and she the breastmilk helps her feel better- i assure myself that I am doing the right thing. I encourage to be strong and to have strength in your decision whether to continue to breastfeed or not. And your milk supply is like a supply and demand- the more he breastfeeds the more milk you will make so if you want your supply to come back up make him eat 4 times a day... :) Good luck

I know this is a tough time for you. I am also approaching this point with my little one.

I just wanted to comment on your "If this is the "right" thing, why am I so depressed?" comment. I am sure that this feeling is just the first of many times as mothers that this feeling will fill our hearts... like when they go to school... or move out... or get married. At times like these I like to think of what's best for my family and balancing what's best for baby with what's best or me and the rest of the family. Stressing out about milk supply only ever decreases mine :(

Good luck.

I breastfed my oldest son until he was 3 and my younger son until he was 3 and half. My boys are now grown up men who are very loving to their families.

The older children get, the more they nurse for nurturing instead of nourishment. When they are tired, hurt or sick they nurse. They nurse in the morning and to go to sleep. It's the most precious thing in whole world and a wonderful meeting of their needs. Do what your heart tells you to do. When your son and you are ready to stop, you'll know it.

Only you and your little one can figure out when is the right time to say bye-bye to nursing. But, if he is distraught and you are depressed, perhaps that helps you answer the question "is now the right time?" This is one of those times that even well-meaning family and friends may not be the most important ones to listen to -- listen to your heart and your son -- you know him best! When the time is right to wean, you will both know and have more peace about it.

Nursing is so much more than milk supply. Little ones will gladly nurse off of breasts that make little milk anymore. You can also increase your supply by making sure you are drinking enough fluids and perhaps drinking "Mother's Milk" tea which has herbs that enhance the amount and quality of your breastmilk.

Best of luck! You can be so proud of yourself for having offered him the very best start to his life!

Ok, first off, milk only "dries up" if you stop having the demand (baby/pump sucking) or if you are dehydrated. As long as you have those two things, you should not "dry up". Society is so funny about breastfeeding, that they encourage the myth that a woman will magically run out of milk, and that's when she should stop. That's not how the body works. I breastfed until my daughter was 2 and half and it was definitely the right decision for me. You won't ever get that bond again...
So to answer your question, YES, you can build up your supply. Drinks lots of fluids, eat well, get rest and if it's too frustrating for your baby, pump. The more you pump, the more you'll make. I think it's wonderful that you are so committed to your baby, I only wish more people had access to the advantages of breastfeeding. BTW, my daughter is now 6 and a half, super healthy (hardly ever gets sick) and not a freak. Keep up the good work, mama!

xo
A.

Your son may still be getting milk even though you don't feel the letdown. If it is upsetting him, he may wean himself. Otherwise, keep nursing if you are not ready to stop and see if he adjusts to getting less. I nursed my daughter until 20 months (had to stop because I was 5 months pregnant and getting contractions from it), and my son until a couple months shy of 3. I don't think either was getting much milk at the end, just a little, but the cuddles and bonding were the main thing.

do what feels right for you definitely! im sorry that your family doesnt support your want to breastfeed, you know most of us mams here will be supportive in breastfeeding! its the best gift you could give to your child when they are this young, it lasts for the rest of their life.

if you really have no choice and feel as though you do have to give up breastfeeding, i highly recommend as im sure many moms here did, that you and your son have special bonding snuggles or playtime together in place of the breastfeeding.

i hope you dont have to stop yet! good luck!