My oldest son is 16. In the process of getting his drivers license. We had to pay $440.00 to take him to a private school. He broke his leg in 2 places due to a dirtbike accident and couldn't go through drivers ed in school. He has fallen in the past year with grades, and NEVER brings home a book. He's been dating a girl for the past 2 years and that is pretty much ALL he thinks about, other that motocross. The question is should my husband and I get him a vehicle even though he has no job? He really has no motivation to get one. We tell him he will have to do something to help pay for the truck or even just to put gas in it.
I tell my husband why don't we buy a truck and maybe that will motivate him to get a job.
I tell him, eventually his girlfriend will get sick of toting his behind around and paying for everything. He's a good kid he just HAS TO BE TOLD to take the garbage out or start a load of laundry. God forbid he sees the garbage walking to the curb itself, he still wouldn't help it.
Thanks in advance
Well, I think you may already be feeling what your answer is, just by asking. My parents didn't get me a car or let me drive theirs UNTIL I had a job and then I had to pay for my own gas. They did pay for the insurance though.
You say he is a good kid, but needs to be told what to do, so tell him, no job, no car, no grades, no car and see what happens, BUT stick to it. Don't give in.
Good luck.
Getting a vehicle should not be a question. He doesn't deserve it. I have a 17 y/o who is eligible to get his liscense in Feb. I remind him daily it is a privilege not a right. Your son needs to show some responsibility to earn a vehicle. He can work without a car.We are raising children to be responsible adults. Don't let him down by letting him get by.
Yes he is a teen. However, I'm not understanding why you feel the need to get him a car, truck, ANYTHING??????? You've painted a picture of an irresponsible teen and, he will continue to be so, unless you start setting down some ground rules. What has he done to really earn the privilege of YOU buying a vehicle and insurance? What are his goals? Is he planning to be college-bound, military bound? Why DOESN'T he have a part time job?
If he has a girlfriend and they go out, where does he get THAT money? If he earns what is given to him, he will appreciate it a lot more instead of just getting handouts without exhibiting the responsibility.
He doesn't have a job. So, why is it necessary for him to have wheels? You say he's your oldest child so how YOU respond to his lack of motivation or poor grades is being watched by your other two children and speaks volumes.
All children should be expected to do regular chores, whether it's regularly emptying the garbage, cleaning the garage, laundry, setting the table or making dinner. If they are not home that often, you'll have to figure out some way they can contribute to the betterment of your home.
So, the answer is "no" he doesn't deserve a vehicle - whether it's a truck or a car. He should exhibit responsibility first, not the other way around. It was generous of you to pay for driver's ed - he could have had it the following year. I'm sure you felt bad about him breaking his leg but.... things happen. Don't let him feel sorry for himself. Even if you can afford the vehicle, it's sad that kids these days feel "entitled" to luxuries without earning them. Good luck.
R U kidding is right. Let him get the job first and let THAT be his motivation to get a vehicle. looking at a situation objectively is surely different than being in it. Just because you can afford to help him out doesn't necessarily mean he deserves it. No Job. No need for a vehicle.
There is no rule that says you have to allow him to obtain his license. At his age there is little to hold over him and if there are behaviors that need improvement like better grades and getting a job to support his hobbies, help pay for his use of the car, then you have to put your foot down. If you don't push him now he may not ever feel the need to do it since everything is handed to him freely with no obligation. Aiming for good grades and learning the value of earning your own money are life tools and something all kids need, it is for their own good and it doesn't make you a tough parent. Our daughter who is now 20 put us through the ringer during her 15-17 year period and we simply did not allow her to get her driver's license because she was slacking severely in school and making irresponsible choices, a teenager needs a parent to take them for their driver's license and it was the only thing we could hold back on when she was behaving defiantly, not to mention that if he is allowed to get his license with no responsbility attached, you are enabling him to continue his path which will more than likely not be helpful for his future. Our daughter has told us that she is glad that we didn't let her get her license because she was very wreckless and admitted she probably would have wrecked the car and hurt herself badly. She received her license on her own when she was 19.
I tell my kids that their job is getting good grades so they can get into a good college and get a good job. Unless he is showing responsibility with his grades why would you get him a car? What has he done to deserve a car? You are spoiling him and setting him up for failure as an adult. He is going to be lazy and live off of you for the rest of your life if you don't teach him to care about his own future. It's good you at least have him do some household chores. I have 3 boys, one is in college and he had 2 jobs during high school and still pulled good enough grades to get a large scholarship to college. He isn't really smart just a hard worker. I tell my boys that I am only helping to guide them now that they're in high school....they are in charge of their own future and I will help them succeed in what goal they have. If they need a tutor for a class then I hire a tutor...but they are ultimately in charge of their own future. My son in college got staight A's this semester....and my 2 high school boys got A's and B's because they want to get into a good college. Try to give your son some motivation to get the car or truck...he needs to at least get a job to help pay for his gas and insurance.
