Preschool Worries

Updated on January 12, 2012
S.S. asks from Vero Beach, FL
7 answers

My little one, age 3, is starting preschool tomorrow... and I'm starting to freak out!
He apparently has pdd, or pervasive developmental disorder. So he is going to go to preschool in an integrated class.
The facility seems nice and seems to have a lot to offer which I can't really do at home. It SHOULD be a good thing, right?
But, he has never been away from me or his sisters his whole life. I can count on one hand the number of times he's been watched by a babysitter and that was his aunty or his cousin. He is very attached to me (as I am to him, lol!) Now he'll be at preschool 6 hours per day, 5 days per week.
I am worried about a lot of things and I hope that this won't be traumatic for him. Some of the worries are irrational ie will somebody be mean to him or something. He really couldn't tell me if they were.
And with regard to his peanut allergy, it's a "peanut free" facility but what if he gets in contact with peanuts somehow. I won't be there to watch for signs of that.

What are some things I should be aware of and what should I ask his teachers? What else should I find out about the place? How will I know if there's a problem?
What can I do to make the transition easier?
Any experiences or words of advice would be greatly appreciated!!

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

You can make the transition easier by hiding the fact that you are so nervous. Kids sense this. Put front the attitude that school is a wonderful thing and he is so lucky to go and will have so much fun. If he does cry, please don't lurk. That is the worst thing to do. Most times as soon as you leave they are fine, they just do it to jab at you. Believe me, you will know if there is a problem. Talk to the teacher briefly at pick up each day to see how he does.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

You write that you hope this won't be traumatic to your son. In all reality, it's already more traumatic for you and will probably continue to be so. Stay strong for your son and act like this is a super cool and fun thing he's going to get to do and he'll be fine. Then you can go home and cry!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

He will take his cues from you. Just smile, tell him he will have fun and you
will be back to get him. If you are upset he will never leave you.
I would hope that you have toured the school and have spoken with the
teachers. If there is a problem the teachers will tell you. Regarding the
allergy, get an epipen and make sure teachers know how to use it. You need to go into this with a positive attitude for the sake of your son. The
first few weeks, there will be adjustments. Just be consistent and before you know it he will be settled in enjoying his new school life. You should probably pour yourself a big glass of wine lol.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

He'll be fine-it's probably the best thing in the world-my children cried their first day of school when I went to pick them up-it was humiliating! If he sees that you are calm-he will follow your lead. As for the peanut allergy-not going to joke around about that-I know that is serious-do they keep Epi-Pens or such at school?
Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

You want to make sure the place is safe and clean. And you also wnat to look at the kids and see if they look happy and carefree. If they're not, that means the teachers aren't being loving and nurturing (I learned this the hard way). Your son should adjust soon but it will be HARD on you and him for a little bit (maybe a week or two). If you can, the first few days, stay int he preschool with him if they'll let you for a few hours so you can slowly transition him into it instead of just dropping him off. Obviously give the school an epipen and make sure someone there knows how to use it in case he needs it. You'll be fine! i know it's rough but it'll be good for him socially and more stimulating than just being home at this age.

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J.J.

answers from Denver on

Ask if you can stay and "volunteer" for the first couple of days to put your mind at ease.

He'll be fine!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know others have told you this but, really, don't let him see how nervous you are. He will feel more comfortable if he thinks that you are comfortable with the school.

Tell the teachers what to look for in the event of an allergic reaction. What are his first symptoms? Make sure every adult in the classroom knows. Also, be sure to keep any necessary medications on hand for the teachers to access. My son's teacher has benadryl and an epipen clearly labeled just in case. He's been at the school for a year and a half and we've never had a single exposure and he is allergic to dairy, eggs and nuts (dairy is in the snack almost every day and he's NEVER had a problem).

Expect some tears, but also know that he will probably stop crying and start having fun within a few minutes of you leaving. So even if he's hysterical when you go, don't stay behind and don't stress about it. I know it's hard, but I've seen it so many times in my son's class (it is a co-op, so I'm there a lot, especially in the beginning of the year) and no one has ever cried the whole day.

Ask if you can volunteer in the class once a week so you can observe things for yourself. It'll be a great way to see how the teachers interact with the students.

I don't know anything about pdd, but make sure his teachers understand this disorder and how to help your son manage it. Find out the routine that they follow and how they communicate with parents. Find out how they intervene if two kids are fighting over a toy. Find out what happens if your son doesn't want to do a particular activity.

At the end of each day, talk to the teachers for a couple of minutes to find out how things went and if there were any issues.

Have a wonderful first day and try not to worry too much!!

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