Oral sex...religious/cultural.... Concerns/variables?

Updated on March 06, 2012
C.W. asks from Union Hall, VA
19 answers

Hi all...

A recent post got me thinking...

Are there religious teachings regarding oral sex?

Are there cultural norms/feelings?

I really want some feedback...

Thanks in advance...

michele/cat

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So What Happened?

I certainly did not wish to offend...

But I do feel this IS a legitimate question...

I would LOVE to hear from some 'other' cultures/faiths...

I myself am an 'ex' catholic...and would like some guidance

thanks all in advance

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Aren't people supposed to eat fish on fridays?

((Ahem, as per my grandmother who was a flapper in the 20's, went to mass twice a day, and confessed at least once a day!))

<whistling and slowly backing away> Don't mind meeeeee... I didn't really say that.

13 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I think Catholics think it's a sin if the man ejaculates, but otherwise it's okay. That's the only religion I know that has anything at all to say about it.

4 moms found this helpful

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, if someone knows of any Bible scriptures that forbid oral sex, I certainly would like for them to list them so I can read it for myself. Almost all of Song of Solomon talks about sexual pleasure. My personal belief is that if God intended for sex for procreation only then He wouldn't have made it feel SO great. If anyone refutes this please feel free to explain it to the rest of us. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@Live Bold, sorry that you are offended by Catwalk's question, but this is a forum for adults. It's not "smutty". She did not ask in a lewd or crass way and she did not direct this at any one person, nor has she used her question to put down anyone. Also, haven't you shared with us that you and your husband have not had sex in a very long time? I'm bringing that up to show you the hypocrisy in what you are saying. Why is it okay for you to divulge that, but not for us to discuss this? While sex is a private, intimate act I don't see the problem with adults in an adult setting discussing something of this nature with willing participants. I'm looking forward to the answers here as an the opportunity to learn about other religions and/or mindsets. I think maybe it's because you are from an older generation that these types of things make you squeamish or maybe it's to do with things in your past. Whatever your reason, it's your right, but I hope you get some help for it.

I spent my teens and very early twenties thinking sex and oral sex were "nasty" because I grew up with much older adults in my life and they never talked about those things in an open, honest , in-depth, positive manner. Maybe that's why you think that way as well. I think that is a huge part of the issues kids have--- adults thinking sex is so private and so sacred that it can not be discussed. Sex, nor this question about it, is not stupid or perverted.

GOD made sex and everything He made is GOOD. So, it's too bad that you are offended, but you don't have to read this post.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ETA: I don't mean this to say ALL older people feel as mentioned above... just SOME older people. I'm sure there are some my age and younger that feel that way as well. :)

30 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

This was my laugh for the night! Thanks!!
Quit being so uptight, people. Sheesh. If you don't like the question, skip it and stick to the ones about kids peeing their pants. Can't mom's ask questions about themselves sometimes?
Anyway, religiously, I don't think it's mentioned ever in the Bible. But I agree with OneandDone...we should run this by Santorum. I'm sure he's given this one lots of thought. :)

16 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

One MORE reason to be an atheist...

12 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I am a Christian and I feel that almost anything done between man and wife is holy as long as it doesn't involve a third party and both participants are fully into it. The Bible doesn't say a whole lot about how to negotiate sexual intimacy except to say do it with your own spouse, don't bring in anyone else and make sure if your married you are doin' it! I can't see any reason in the world to come down on oral sex inside the marriage relationship. Good luck!

12 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from New York on

I have no thoughts on this religious wise. I just think anyone wanting oral sex should make sure they're fresh and clean LOL!

9 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Well we are baptist and my aunt took a couples retreat yrs ago; the pastor told them that if it's between a husband and his wife it is allowed and not a sin. I don't know what scripture it was based on cause I wasn't there, but that does seem reasonable. I think people who view it as wrong probably view sex as simply for pleasure for a married couple as wrong! If its not for procreation, it shouldn't be done. Not I!

8 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

As I recall...."Thou shalt not perform oral sex" is not in the Bible. PHEW!
@Yarrmatey - The black men that I dated years ago had no issues with oral sex.
L.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

LOL... guess this was on everyone's mind today!

The only religious or cultural perspective I know on this is a Catholic one... officially, oral sex would only be okay between a husband and wife as foreplay that ends with intercourse with no contraception.

@yarrmatey, I have HEARD people say that they've heard that, but I am an African American woman and have dated almost exclusively black men and have NEVER encountered a man who didn't WANT to perform oral sex. I've never had to ask. I've never heard this as an actual experience of any of my friends either and I've never actually HEARD a GROWN black man say this... it's more something high school boys say I think.

;)

7 moms found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I am *shocked*, I say *shocked* to see such a question posed in this venerable forum. :P

Seriously, thanks for asking this! I was wondering back on that other thread.

I know Catholics hold that all relations should be "open" to procreation. Of course most Catholics don't follow this I suspect

ETA: What is the BIBLICAL basis for this?

6 moms found this helpful

Y.C.

answers from Orlando on

Cat?!
lol
I am not sure, I think the Bible can be interpreted different ways depending the person, but I am sure many men would try to found out a loop to this ;*)

5 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Gonna stay out of this one, Cat, cuz I think it might make me a hypocrite.

:(

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I think for many it is religion, in that any sexual act that is not for the purposes of procreation, or does not have the potential to result in a pregnancy, is considered a sin. And I think for others it might just be distasteful to them. Neither is a factor in my book though. ;)

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

According to my religion, any sexual act between or among consenting adults is okey-dokey.

4 moms found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

I am probably opening up a can of worms but, according to one (emphasis on one so I have no idea if this is just her experience or if it is a cultural thing) African American/black friend, black men in the US do not perform oral sex on women because is is 'degrading' and 'nasty.'

ETA: Yeah, I'm not really going to go around asking if this stereotype is true. I just figure that, like every other race, some black guys like it and some don't. She just apparently got the guys who don't.

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

riley, i adore you!
ah, so sad i don't now have time to poke through and find the post that prompted this!
there's a vase painting somewhere or other that shows hera fellating zeus. and i've got dionysos and aphrodite in my pantheon.
i think i'm covered.
:) khairete
S.

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R.K.

answers from Norfolk on

So I have read all the posts...you did say religious, not Christian...so here is a view from a Jew! :-)
I remember asking my rabbi many years ago about sex and what our "beliefs" were. Her answer was simple, we don't have any. There are no set "rules" or "laws" about sex in the Torah (Old Testament). She personally believed that sex should be witheld before marriage, but there were no set regulations.
[I was brought up Reconstructionist..which is a section of Judaism between Conservatism and Reformism. Reconstructionism is more modern, though was created in the late 1960s. Reconstructionism was first to give Women rights (i.e. Woman Rabbis, girls have Bat Mitzvah's, women being allowed to pray with men, etc). My congregation was also gay friendly. My Cantor (assistant to the Rabbi and leads prayers) is Gay.]

My personal belief; your body is a temple, but only you say what rules your temple follows. I'm very spiritual, but I cannot lie...I love sex and I explore, learn, and practice as much as possible. Also, I am not married, though I am in a commited relationship and have been for 2 years.

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D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, Catwalk;
I think this is a question that needed to be asked privately.
The reason I am saying this is: Our culture is taking sex so
superficially and dishonoring the loving relationship between
a man and a woman. Yes, I am offended by the superficial
meaning placed on the acts contributing to our deep connection with our mate through our sexual experience. It seems to be occurring by people bantering around
the acts as toys to be discussed by some people who have no regard
for the wholesomeness that Divine Providence has given to us by this divine expression for a deep and fulfilling relationship that only be met with another.
D.

1 mom found this helpful
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