Need Advice on Supporting a Friend Facing Suprise Pregnancy

I would explain to her that not many moms are emotionally ready the first time they have a child...but once that child arrives...it all changes!
We were all very nervous the first time around... that's totally natural.
Ask her to go out shopping with you...don't by anything..... just look. Look at baby things. Maybe if she sees some of the stuff they have out, she'll get more excited about it.

I agree....tell her how you feel and let her know how difficult it will be and how emotionally scarred she'll be if she aborts this baby.It might not hit her right away...but in a few years....she'll start to realize.
She'll wonder what this child would have been like, She'll miss this child. She'll see other kids at the age this child should have been and see what they are doing and think "that's what my baby would have been doing now".

As for her career.... she can still have one! A lot of moms do t and they are doing just fine.

For example: My niece is a music teacher at school. That is what she always wanted to do and loves doing. She went to college for it, even went to Hong Kong with her husband and was a teacher there for 2 years. She has 2 kids and has been doing this since before they were born.

There are many women out there who still have careers, who can still go to school or whatever while having a baby at home. It makes it more challenging, but they do it.

My son and his girlfriend are expecting our first grand child this week. She is 18 and he is 16 1/2. Both are juniors in school and want to go to college. He wants to work on cars doing body work, she wants to be an art teacher and work with disabled kids.
They are both going to go to college..... it will be a challenge for them, but they will do it. They are both finishing high school too.
We are helping them, yes. But every family needs help sometimes.... theres no shame in that.

I hope you can encourage her and help her through the pregnancy and that she ends up with a healthy happy little baby.... who will enhance their family.

I think you should tell her what you told us. Tell her you are worried she will regret it later if she aborts. Tell her that if she wants a kid in 3 years, aborting now could hurt her chances. But also tell her you understand her reasons for not wanting to continue the pregnancy. Tell her you will support any decision she makes... and mean it.

you can't tell her what to do (or at least you shouldn't). You can only tell her your personal concerns for her. Tell her you want her to make a well informed decsions. Listen to her thoughts and feelings and let her say the pros and cons. Don't try to push her one way or another. Use all of your opinions as a way to inform her of your stance. In the end, she will do what she wants... and promise you will support her no matter what.

Being honest and trustworthy is the best thing you can do.

I have a friend who has faced and aborted a surprise pregnancy. She doesn't have a single regret - it wasn't right for her at the time, and she didn't want to bring a baby into her situation. She went on to later have 2 beautiful children, when the time was right.

Other responders are right - we're never "ready" for a baby. But your friend needs you right now to be her friend, and she's going to need you after she makes her decision whether to keep the pregnancy or not. It's a lot of weight for you!

I would suggest sitting down with her and trying to write down a list of pros and cons of keeping the pregnancy and aborting the pregnancy. Maybe you'll unbury something that's lurking for her. Maybe the process of writing down her fears will help her to feel stronger about her decision.

I, too, am pro-choice, but like you, my feelings on when abortion should be a choice have changed since I had children. But I also think that an unwanted child, or a child who cannot be given the absolute best care in the world (whether it's a capacity for love, or providing things s/he needs), should be thought about carefully. It's a powerful choice we have.

This is a tough one... it sounds like your friend is struggling with a list of things that she will need to "give up" to be a mom. The best thing that you can do for her is listen and offer some examples if she asks. How does her husband feel about this?

No one is emotionally ready to be a parent (even if we think we are). It is totally overwhelming and entirely different than what I expected, but wonderful. My husband kind of went through this when we started talking about having a child. He was uncertain, didn't think we were financially ready, wanted to travel more, etc. Needless to say he is a fantastic daddy who loves spending every free minute with our son. Also, I am writing this post from my office. I have actually furthered my career (additional graduate degree) since becoming pregnant. You can have both- just need to put things into perspective.

This is not really a decision that you can help her make, but you can certainly be there to just listen. If she hasn't already made the appointment to have an abortion, then you may want to suggest that she speak with someone at Planned Parenthood or another similar organization that can help her work through her concerns without being so emotionally attached as you are.