My 3.5 Yr Old Is Still in Diapers - What Do You Think About What I Did Today?

I think you're doing great! I like the prizes for being clean and dry--maybe I should try that. I am also potty-training my 3 1/2-year-old son. He is very different from my daughter who was completely trained by age 3. I am not using pull-ups because his school doesn't use them for potty training. You are right--they are like diapers. I only have them for naps and nighttime right now. But I do have to physically take him to the potty when he first wakes up. He wakes up too groggy to admit that he needs to go potty. He protests, but he goes. A lot, because sometimes he actually wakes up dry.

When we'd go out, I pretty much only went to places that had hard floors, and after a week, he was doing real well telling me he had to go. Now I can go anywhere. Pooping is a different story, but as long as they're not sick, it doesn't leak. Just bring plastic bags with you for the underwear after you've rinsed them in the bathroom. (And no, I don't throw underwear away like everyone tells me to--my son has yet to poop in the potty, and poops 2-3 times a day, and I can't afford to replace that much underwear!!)

Again, it sounds like you're doing great!! Good luck.

For going out and about I would put him in a cloth trainer pants. It has a hidden waterproof layer and looks just like underwear. This way you still have protection. My favorite are the blueberry
http://nickisdiapers.com/catalog.php?category=1037

If you think he is choosing to not go potty then this is probably what he needs. Although he might still need a diaper at nap time. This might be gross but I carry around empty water bottles in my minivan, it's really easy for little boys to pee in those and throw them away, since I have three sometimes we can't make it to the bathroom in time.

Well....I believe that would be the "Crash and Burn" potty approach! LOL

Seriously, maybe this is just what he needs, exactly when he needs it.

Phase 2 involves familiarizing yourself with every public restroom, port-a-potty and high weed patch within a 30 mile radius of your house!

Hope it works.
(crosses fingers)

I think it's definitely time to say goodbye to the diapers. Good move.

Here are a few small suggestions:

1. be sure to cover your car seat - either a towel or some sort of pad that will soak up any pee. Go to Target or Walmart and buy a oack of chucks. You can use them on his bed, too. Just in case.

2. Keep a change (or two) of clothes in your car.

3. Keep a few paper towels in your purse in case you need to clean up the floor - and don't worry about the library carpet. Probably a million kids have peed on it.

4. A few skittles won't hurt him. He'll forget about them after a while. If he's really going after the skittles, just mention a trip somewhere special or perhaps pick up a few dollar store toys.

High weed patch - hahaha!!! I would let me girl go anywhere if nature called - even between cars in a parking lot. When you gotta go, you gotta go!!

I would probably be more cautious with a younger child using this method, in that there is a physiological component to potty training readiness... but with a 3.5 year old, I'd be more inclined to think that his choice to potty or not to potty is just that, a choice. I know that there are some kids who simply are not physiologically ready to potty train at 3.5, but I'd say that is not the norm. So erring on the side of probability, I'd guess he is physically ready, just choosing to take the easy route - the diaper! So yes, I think what you did is a PERFECT idea. You were careful to give him plenty of opportunities to go potty, and he succeeded in staying dry. KUDOS to both of you! I'd say to just keep doing this! Of course, this comes with the standard night time disclaimer... all bets are off for night time... you may find that he is absolutely 100% trained for day, but can't stay dry at night. Totally normal. Again, it's a physiological thing... not a choice while asleep... so if you find you need to stay with diapers for night time, c'est la vie!

Keep up the good work!!! And good luck!!

Sounds like your doing it right. My son could go when he needed to, peeing wasn't a problem at all for him. He would go into his room and poop on the floor and hide it. So he knew he was doing wrong by hiding it. He would get a time out. Finally a week before he turned 4 he just started going on the potty. I dont' know if a light switch just went off or what. But yes keep taking him places with underware on and keep going potty when ever you see a bathroom. Always keep an extra pair of underware and pants in the car in case of an accident... cause they may happen.

My son is also 3.5. This past Jan right before he turned 3 I just stopped putting him in pull ups! He stays with the in-laws while I work. When I dropped him off I took all the pull ups with me and told them "he is in underwear he MUST use the poty, end of discussion! " As you can prob tell part of our problem was inconsitency! So that worked for the peeing part! Now for #2, he literally just pooped in the poty for the 1st last thursday! He had been telling me for a couple days that he was ready, we set on poty and he would get scared and change his mind right at the last min. Then finally 1 glorious night he said "M. I am ready, I am really gonna poop on the poty!" And sure enough he did!
I got so tired of hearing people say "he will do it when he's ready" Because they probably quit changing diapers at around 2 and here I still am, changing poopy diapers! However turns out they were right!! :)
My advice, look at your daily routine and make sure your consistant. If you have him peeing in the poty then don't turn, only use pullups/diapers at bed time. And praise his efforts, and accomplishmnets!
P.S. My son would tell he needed to poop and would bring me a pull up, we did that for a year!
Good luck!

I stayed home and took him physically to the potty every 20 or so min fo the first day or two then 30 min then 40 min then 50 then 60 now he just goes on his own. We did not dare public ventures until we were up to 60 min (took about two weeks).

This is exactly what everyone used to do before there were Pull Ups. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and go out in public and that's how they learn.
Take your extra clothes, some wipes, kinda plan your day as to where you are going. Maybe avoid the fancy restaurants and expensive stores for a few until he has the hang of things!
You'll get to know where EVERY potty in town is. I swear my kid would scream "I have to go NOW!" just to see if I could find a potty in the middle of ...anywhere . Or nowhere.
Good luck!

Thats what I did with my kids (all of them). For whatever reason, they were much more inclined to tell me that they needed to use the potty while we were at Target or the grocery store than when we were at home. As for accidents, tile is easy- just wipe it up (keep tissues of wipes in your purse) and carpet in the library (or anywhere else)- don't worry about it. I'm sure that a little toddler pee is one of the least disgusting things that has gotten on the carpet there! I always keep a change of clothes in my puse just in case for the first few months too.

Yep, I did this method with all 3 and all 3 were potty trained before 2 1/2! My youngest was potty trained recently at 21 months. We always made a big deal about going pee in the potty (they would get 1 m&m) and for poops they would get 2 m&m. As soon as they starting going regularly, we slowly phased out the m&ms and honestly they didn't really notice. Mine 2 youngest are still in diapers at night only. Does he normally wet his diaper at night? If he stays almost dry- then you might want to try underwear at night too.

For accidents, yeah, there have been a couple, not too many though. Mostly I apologize profusely and get someone to clean it up. One time, I accidentally left everything in the car and all kids were throwing tantrums and I just got the heck out of dodge. But I know a person that worked there saw the whole thing- I just didn't have the time right then dealing with everything to apologize! Not my proudest moment.

And yes, have them potty before you leave, when you get to where you are going, every half hour if you are out somewhere for awhile, then once again as soon as you get home and you should avoid a lot of accidents.

Good for you for doing it!!!

This is exactly what we did with my my kids. Son was fully potty trained at 2.5 and dd was at 18 mos!! (my kids are a year apart so I think dd did so early b/c her brother was)

Keep up the great work~!

You are doing a great job! My daughter didn't "get it" until a full 3. 5 either. I'm jealous that you got a dry nap, too. :-) You really know your kid.

My son is fully potty trained. He turned 2 August 2nd- and we started 4th of July weekend. By the following weekend he was fully potty trained. At night or in the car he wears a pull up just in case but he doesnt use it. We use it as reassuance incase we do not get to the restroom in time.

He started by just simply running around our house naked. Literally :) he wouldnt wear anything (maybe a tshirt).. and the potty was in close sight to him. He would feel the urge to go and run to the bathroom screaming POTTY!!! the whole way there. We have candies (sometimes sugar free sometimes reg like skittles) and when he would go he would get one. He was easy though and i've heard most kids arent. This worked for us- when we go places we have to take him because he will not always tell us, or when he does its to late. Keeping him on a schedule of every 1/2 hour or so at first is good. Then he will get the hang of it :) good luck!

Yes, it's what we finally did with Isaac-- we spent about 3 weeks doing a LOT of laundry, but it FINALLY clicked!

I was SO frustrated, because he's been using the potty perfectly reliably since he was 18 months old-- if he was naked- WHY is it so much harder to pull your pants down first?

Try this at home, no need to take him out to implement the 25 minute rule. When my boys were potty training, I put them in underwear at home, and set a timer for about every 25-30 minutes. I got him before the timer went off and put him on the potty to go. After a day or two, we stretched it out to an hour potty break.

But I made them wear pullups when we went out b/c I did not want to deal with accidents in public or in the carseat and have to deal with public bathrooms. Of course I had two kids with me, so it may be tougher that way. Gross.

And the skittle prize is a bribe, technically ;) But whatever works for you guys. For us, I made a chart. If at the end of the week he went potty on the toilet instead of his pants, he got a hershey kiss. If he went poop in the potty instead of the pants, he got a toy car (the 99 cent hotwheels ones). Worked like a charm b/c he loooves cars and seeing that his progress was being charted.

That's the way you do it! Sounds like you are doing a great job. Accidents will happen even after being potty trained so just be prepared. Rewards for being dry help. What worked for my son was allowing him to pick out his big boy underwear (which I told him he couldn't do unless he was going in the potty!)

If it works it's a good idea. Each child is different, what works for one child may not work or another. When you take him out, if you can find the old fashioned plastic pants use those over the training pants, just in case.

I would keep the diaper bag or just any tote in the trunk of your car (hubby's car too) with 1-2 complete changes of clothes for him. Rotate the clothes to make sure he hasn't outgrown them. I know I kept a change of clothes for the kids in my car until they were almost 5. Even if they have been potty trained for a year or two they can still have accidents. An my kids always wet everything including sock and shoes.

(small hint) The extra thick training pants don't absorb everything and finding plastic pants can be difficult. I have heard that the Amish stores carry them, because the Amish use the old fashioned cloth diapers.

What worked best for us (2 little girls) is to leave them naked or just in long shirts or short dresses without underwear AND keeping a potty in the room right next to them. So if they played in the kitchen, potty chair was in the kitchen. If they wanted to watch tv, potty chair next to the place they were sitting. I put it on an incontinence pad that I bought at CVS that were about 1 yard x 1 yard. I also used those same incontinence pads to make up the bed: 1 big pad, then the fitted sheet, another pad, another fitted sheet, etc. If there was an accident in bed, I could just strip the top layer and have a dry bed instantly. The incontinence pads are like a flat diaper and can absorb a lot.
I also used to keep a potty chair (the Baby Bjorn kind that is 1 piece) on another incontinence pad (wow, I should buy stock in those things!) and would put it either in the middle of the back seat or let them pee on the potty behind an open car door while parked in a private area of a parking lot. You do have to find a weedy area to dump the pee afterwards.
I just recently for myself bought something called TravelJohn at amazon.com. It is a bag with an oval top that you can hold against your privates (women) or for men they can just aim (or hang it in) and the bag is made from diaper material. I thought it would be handy to have in the car for long trips since it absorbs the pee and they roll up to about the size of a roll of quarters when unused. When used they do not leak and you throw them in the trashcan like a diaper.
I think you are doing the right thing, he needs to figure it out sometime. If you keep a potty nearby and bring an incontinence pad for his chair once he is indoors - they come in all sizes so you could buy a smaller one, or just put one in a cute pillow case if you do not want to advertise its purpose too loudly - you should be fine. I LOVED it when I could stop with the diapers.

i know you said bribes dont work but have you tried a big bribe? we told our three yr old son that if he stayed dry for ( i cant remember if it was two weeks or a month) that we would take him to the big boy zoo. I live in Victoria and we can complete our zoo in less than an hour. We went to Houston Zoo after a month of staying dry. Also our son has a hard time pulling off the diaper to go. The pull ups he can handle on his own. He is still in a pull up for the night because he never stays dry.

This makes me laugh b/c I went thru the same thing a little less than a year ago.

My daughter is now a little over 3.5 years. Everytime she went potty, she would get an M&M. The next thing you know she did the same thing. She went about 10 times in 20/30 minutes which = 10 M&M's.

I did potty training the same way. My daughter is still in pull-ups at nighttime. I would take her on errands with her big girls pants and take her as soon as we get there and about every 20 minutes. My daughter was not shy about pooping in the potty.

I do keep a potty in my car just in case. I think you are on the right track. Just make sure you have him go every 30 minutes to an hour.

My daughter has yet to have an accident in public. We have had plenty at our house.

I now wish I could get her to potty thru the night.

Here is the potty I keep w/ me at all times. I have been places which have no bathroom. Also, we travel a lot in the car so this has helped a lot.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0016L0MMS/ref=s9_simh_g...

That's how I potty trained my son at 16 months old. He never had an accident after the 4th day of underwear.

I did keep him in diapers at night a few months longer. Naptime was underwear though. He went potty before napping and as soon as he woke up. I kept him in diapers at night until he was staying dry all night, until about 20 months old. Then I switched to underwear at night too, and he only had a couple of accidents.

I think what you're doing is fine. If he's telling you he has to go then he is ready to lose the diapers/pull-ups. Don't worry about accidents in public. Take at least one change of clean clothes every time you leave the house. Include socks and shoes. Puddles in shoes can happen :-) Clean up your kiddo if he has an accident, then tell someone about the mess on the floor if there is one. It happens sometimes. Your child would not be the first to have a potty training accident in public, nor the last.

Its great fun to visit the bathrooms every where you go. I dont why its so fun but it is. Great method because it's so motivating!

Momma F...not gross at all. We have empty cups just for this reason. The soccer fields don't have a potty and there's no trees for my little man.

I don't see anything wrong with your method...sometimes kids are just stubburn and you have to find answers on the fly. I use whatever works.

It sounds like you are onto a good routine today. I would nix the diapers and do pull ups at night though. Just keep asking him every 30 minutes to a hour, we made sure our son would poop before bedtime also. I would switch your reward system to a sticker chart, some many stickers and he gets a special treat or even a small outing. Let him put the sticker on the chart and give him one for his shirt or hand. Good luck

when my daughter first became potty trained i remember being so nervous of accidents, it happened 3 times total spaced out by months, potty trained at 2
1st incident: 2 and a 1/2 made a fun house slide a water slide, after getting to the top screamed i have to pee, i shove her on my lap rush down the long slide to get soaked, our friend and his son follow behind not knwoing and end up getting soaked too...we all laughed for hours b/c her friends dad looked like he had wet his pants
2nd incident: middle of open gym she yells i gotta pee eeeee now...i take her footbal hold to the bathroom and she goes a little on the floor--- cleaned it no issues
3rd and hopefully final still 2 years old a few months later---were at the top f a slide system and she goes yet again and they have to shut down the slide---i appologized profusely and still to this day i make hergo potty 3 years later before going on a fun slide...lol, she doesnt know why but I DO!

Oh and we did have one poop incident when she was sick and went 3 times in one hour in her pants, i thought she had an accident and then changed her and then got her new clothes...another accdeint, thought she wasn't done, were at the mall and brought her a new dress and then at the top of the slide 3rd accdient...nonetheless she was sick and not J. having accidents

anyway no worries, i had to do it your way to, youll live through if he has an accident in publc

Yes, at some point you just have to venture out of the house and deal with the results. Sounds like you had a good first trip. I remember my daughter had one icky poop accident and cleaning her up in a public bathroom was not fun, but oh well. After that, we were pretty much home free. We needed to use diapers for a long time at night, though, as she was just a very sound sleeper and didn't consistently sleep dry at night for several years.

Bring extra clothes, clean up as best as you can, and remember that urine is sterile... Poop on the other hand, oh well, as others have said apologize and leave... And I've seen slides with poop skid marks all the way down!