My 15 Month Old Not Sleeping or Self Soothing

highly recommend the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. by Dr. Weissbluth. Excellent and helped me significantly with my two challenging sleepers. You have to be consistant with the scheduling between you and the grandparents, even to the point of putting him down for his naps within 15 minutes. Schedule is sooo important. I have been a softy also in the "crying." But I tell you be persistant and don't go in there. If you always go in there you are teaching him to cry until you come in and that is "mean." Someone told me that and it has helped me, but definitely get the book. It is a must buy book.

I know what you're going through. My 1st child didn't sleep through the night until he was 2.5. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to do CIO because I didn't want him to be scared and think maybe I'd left. But I didn't really have any other ideas either. One day I was talking about this to a friend, and she loaned me her copy of Ferber's book- she swore by it, so I read the book and followed the steps. What a difference! He slept through the night the very 1st night and has ever since (he's almost 12 now). It took a few days of following the steps for him to start falling asleep on his own, but at least once he fell asleep, he stayed asleep until morning.

Some people think the Ferber Method is CIO, but it is really a progressive waiting approach which is so much better because you don't have to listen to the baby cry for an hour and not be able to go in to comfort. Here's a link with more information:

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/sleep/a/110_ferber_mthd.htm

The head banging isn't unusual. Here's a link about that too:

http://www.justmommies.com/articles/head-banging-babies.s...

Hope all of this helps. Hang in there- you'll get through it all :)

It's so exhausting to be in your situation. And I know that you are not feeling your best when you are so tired all the time.

I know exactly why he won't self soothe...you said it yourself. "I just gave in and rocked him to sleep." Your baby knows that if he keeps crying and crying, eventually Mom will come. So, of course he's going to continue to cry.

If you want to get some sleep, you have to break this cycle. It won't be easy!

I'm a big believer in this method. It worked for me with three children and they are all great sleepers to this day. It takes about three nights, and they will be long nights, but if you stick with it, you can do it.

When you put your baby down for the night, you lay him in his crib and say goodnight. Then, you sit in the corner where he can see you. He'll look at you and cry. It may be hard for you, but just hang in there and don't pick him up. Occasionally, say something soothing to him, or walk over and touch him, but don't pick him up.

This will be a long night, because he may continue to cry for a long time, but be strong! Eventually he will wear himself out and go to sleep.

The next night, you put him into his crib, and you will sit in the room, but where he can't see you. So, sit in a corner of the room where you out out of his line of sight. You can still talk to him, or sing to him, go to see him once, but don't pick him up. This lets him know that, even if he can't see you, that you are still nearby.

Again, it may be another long night. But it won't be as bad as the first night. He's starting to self-soothe already.

By the third night, you should put him in his crib and then walk away. You can come stand outside his door and talk to him a little bit, but by now, he should know the routine. He may still cry, but he will cry less every night.

He may continue to cry for a week or so, trying to get you to come pick him up, but if you stick with this method, he will learn to soothe himself to sleep, which is a priceless skill.
I wish you luck. http://keystosimpleliving.com/kids.php

I agree with Jenny E. You may want to start with possible food intolerances and remove dairy from his diet first, followed by gluten if the first doesn't help. My son didn't sleep thru the night until he was about 4.5 due to food intolerances. Once I removed them from his diet, he slept thru and did not wet the bed anymore. On a side note, he does have sensory issues too that are immensely helped with diet, no meds.

Try the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It's an easy read. She gives really great step-by-step advice on how to establish bedtime and naptime routines, getting him back to sleep, getting him to sleep without a bottle, etc. You're obviously very responsive to your son, you don't want to see him cry or hurt himself, but you're also exhausted and getting desperate. This is a solution that will work for both of you, and nobody has to cry. It worked for our daughter.

Are you sure he doesnt have any food intolerances or medical issues like reflux that is causing pain and making him not be able to sleep. Has the pedatrician office checked his bowels for blood it is an easy qtip swab and then a quick look under a microscope. Why dont you try this it doesnt hurt and wouldnt you wnat to know you did everything you can to make him comfortable. Babies are tired and need sleep and if you are tired imagine how tired he is, He cannot self soothe because he is hurting somewhere and most likely it is his GI tract since all he is doing is eating, growing and well supposed to be sleeping. Sometimes reflux can cause ear pain, the enzymes in the refux grow rampid in the ear canal and cause pressure and when you lie down it is a pounding pain, that would make anyone not sleep. And reflux can burn paper so imagine how painful it is on a toddlers esophagus...many children with sensory issues cant self regulate or self sooth but I would rule out pain and medical issues always first, then call and OT to have him evaluated and in the meant time you can try the books and CIO methods. Hope that helps

hes teething probably and those molars are vicious. dont worry he isnt going to be 15 and needing to be rocked to sleep

Your little guy sounds WAY overtired which can lead to poor sleep at naps and at night.Before you start CIO please make sure he's healthy- no teething or other issues. Then go get The Sleepeasy Solution by Jennifer Waldburger and make a plan. This book can really help. You are on the right path with the CIO but you lack follow through. With CIO you absolutely have to be consistent and follow your plan 100%. It gets really tough for a couple of days and after that it should smooth out and become much easier.....my suggestion for those tough moments is DON'T give in....go sit outside on the steps and take some deep breaths or buy some earplugs to put in during his naps and just let him cry...he's safe in his crib but the crying always pulls at your heartstrings.
I hope this book will help you- it's a fabulous resource to have. See if you can get it at your local library and then take it home and make a plan. If you can get everyone else on board with you that will help relieve some of the pressure of training him on your own too because you'll have support. Remember- be consistent and don't give in..... it'll be a hard few days but after that you'll be so happy you stuck it out!
Good luck.

Don't beat yourself up, I know a non-sleeping baby can be a nightmare!
Like someone else mentioned, teeth, are very likely a part of the problem if not all of it. What is baby eating? Is he bottle fed or does he nurse? Does he have a good appetite?

The problem sounds like it is disturbing your entire day, not just times of sleep. You have to start solving the problem one piece at a time. Consistency is key here. I personally am not a fan of cry it out, you can read studies on it and some people swear by it, but I would never.
You too, sounds hesitant about it. You have to slowly break his bad habits.

He is still a baby, there's nothing wrong with cuddling or rocking him to sleep, have you tried co-sleeping? (Again, a controversial topic and if you're bottle feeding you need to be careful!) But if you're exhausted and you can't get baby to sleep, sleep with him, teach him to nap and go to sleep by sleeping when he sleeps. The extra touching and cuddling will help a lot during teething too.

Review his diet, make sure he's not getting unnecessary dyes, sugar, additives and an adequate amount of fat, protein, and carbs. If he's unsatisfied, he's not going to rest well. Make a plan for a routine and remember that it won't work everyday, but be consistent. I stay home with my 27 month old son and we rise at the same time everyday (unless someone is sick), he co-sleeps, he bathes, brushes his teeth, gets ready for bed along with everyone else. Kids, even that young need to anticipate things and being consistent, even with what time you get up and go to bed, or what time you feed him lunch or when he's allowed to watch tv versus when you do things like play or read or go outside...all will help him begin to understand his day-you just have to work at keeping it the same.

The longer you wait to initiate some consistency, the harder it will be. Best thing I can say is try and sleep with him when he sleeps, so you both get some needed rest and then slowly start working on the rest and enlist other's in your plan, so it's consistent no matter where he is.

Best wishes, it does get better!