Moving with 18 Month Old-sleep Question

This is what I did with my daughter and she was 3yrs old when we moved. I but an air-up bed in her room and i would sleep on it in her room when i but her bed and i feel asleep in there then that was ok i slept in there for atleased 6 weeks and then as time went on i but her to bed and sleep on the matterss and when i woke up later that night i would go the my bed . maybe this will work for you and family it did for mine
A.

Go to Amazon or http://www.thesleeplady.com/ & get you the book, "Good Night Sleep Tight" by Kim West. It is WELL worth the money & is the best nicest approach that works that I found! I have 2.5 yr old twins & my girl did not sleep through the night until 10 mo & thanks to this book, it worked! Another positive, the book goes from birth to age 5 or so. I pick it up off & one & read the appropriate age. It also has what to do when major events happen, such as moving or a death or a birth in the family! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ANYONE! It even helps with scheduling & such. Congrats on the house & best wishes!

i would go gradually, especially since she has been sleeping with you for her entire life. there is a great book, the no cry sleep solution for toddlers, that has lots of things you can try, and some really good chapters on how to work your toddler out of your bed into her own. sleeping with your baby isn't a "bad habit" that needs to be broken, uless it just isn't working out with you. smoking is a bad habit. loving your child is not. i have friends who went cold turkey at this age, after a move, and both of them endured MONTHS of crying. my two and four year olds still occasionally come to visit in our beds, but they feel secure in their own rooms because we went slowly, lovingly, and gently into their own beds.

Ith her neing 18 months old this may not be as hard as we allsometimes make it to be. When you move into your house set up her bedin her room while she is up and can see her toys and clothesgoing into her room. This is a start. She still may try to visit you in your room but try using the move as a time to reconfigure every and leave the old habit of her being in your room with you old home. If you do begin the sleeping with her in the new home she will fgure that that is thenorma nd then you have another bad habit to break. PLease,please, please usethis move to transition her on her own to her own room. Best to you and your family with moving.

I submitted my answer below first, but after reading some of the others, the fact that it's a new place IS a really good time to transition. To her, it may just be new place, new bed. Try that first! If it doesn't work, try naptime first. We did this with our little one when she got too big for the basinet and we moved her to her room in a crib. It worked like a charm. Now if I could just get her to sleep all night....Good luck!
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I would try starting her out with naptime for a few days so she gets used to being in there alone and it won't disrupt your sleep too much. If possible, when she's in your room at night, see if you can put her in her own bed or crib or cot or something so she isn't "with" you. Then after a few days when naptime is going better, try it at night. You will probably have a few sleepless nights but she should adjust pretty quickly as long as you don't give in and go get her. This is tempting, I know, because you will be sleep-deprived, but if you can make it a few nights, they usually do OK.

Good luck!

I could go into a long and boring story with all the reasons you shouldn't let her continue to sleep with you.....but the fact of the matter is you should do the COLD TURKEY thing now because it will be so much easier on HER now rather than later. I say this with much thought, you'll be the weakest link here, but as with any other situation you'll need to be the stronger and more authoritative so she can be the little girl.
B.

Just a question for you to think about...who is more afraid of her sleeping in her own bed, you or you daughter? Is it possible she might be perfectly happy with her own bed, but picking up on your anxiety?

We went through the exact same thing. Our son was around 20 months when we moved from a one room to a large house. He slept in his crib right next to our bed while we were in the cabin & then moved straight to his own room, no problems.
This is the perfect time to move her to her own room & teach her to sleep on her own.
If possible, keep her in the same crib or bed that she's in now. That way it still feels the same & is familur.
Put a fan or something for white noise in her room. She's used to hearing you breath & move at night & the silence might bother her.
Put the monitor in her room so you can still hear her(see if it's video) and you will know she's ok.
If possible, take her to the house before you move in so she can get used to it. We were building, so we took our son often, so the house wasn't brand new to him.
Good luck & congrats on the new house!

Congrats on the house!
I had a similar issue. My daughter stayed in her bassinet in our room until she was a year old. When we put her in her new bed in her own room (cold turkey), I made sure she knew it was her blankets and pillow and she cried for a couple of minutes, but it only happened a couple of days, then she was over it and has slept by herself in her room every since.
If you use a blanket now that she can take to her new bed with her in the new room it might make life easier for her and you…I know it helped us. If she is using a blanket in your bed, it will get your smell on it. She will have it when she gets to her new bed and it will calm her to have the ‘smell of mom’, but not have you in the bed as another habit to break.
It also might help to talk up the new room to her, that she will be ‘such a big girl’ and have her own room and bed…
Good Luck!

We had a similar situation in that my 2 1/2 Y. O. daughter slept in an alcove in the same room with us, but in her crib. We recently moved into a big girl bed in her own room. We made a big deal and talked up the new room as if it were disney land. We put her new bed and toys and decorations and such into it and let her hang out in it for a few days before attempting to get her to sleep in it. We also did all of her bedtime and wake up routine in the room, stories, playing, clothes, etc. It got to the point that she WANTED to be in there, and then we transitioned smoothly. I read with her in bed, then turn off the lights, get her music and wave machine going and snuggle with her for 5-10 minutes before saying good night. Most of the time she stays there. Good luck, Congrats on the new house!

Congrats on the house, J.! What a wonderful time this will be for you & your family.

I recommend cold turkey! It hurts us much more than them. My experience was very similar to yours. When my 3rd child was born we were living in a 3 bd home w/very small bedrooms. Liz was in a small crib in our master bath and would wake 3-4 times EVERY NIGHT. We moved into a much larger home when Liz was 14 months. She never missed and beat and slept through the night - alone - from the first night.

I hope you will also have a smooth transition & again, congratulations on your home!

I think when you move, it would be best to start a new approach to the bedtime routine. The best method I have ever used is where you do your normal bedtime routine (bath, books, cuddling, and bed) After you place her in her crib, tell her that it is time for her to go to bed. Then sit beside her bed without talking to her or looking at her until she goes to sleep on her own. This may take hours the first night. Each night move gradually towards the door until you are out of the room. Each night the time should be less and less that she is upset. You might have to do this in the middle of the night for a while also. Believe me, it's a plan that is worth it. I have 4 daughters and I have used this method on all of them and they all sleep well in their own rooms. Supernanny uses the same method on TV. Give it a shot..........

I had a very similar situation. My oldest was 1 yr old when we moved, and I was pregnant with my second. My 1st had/has a lot of anxiety issues, so she spent quite a bit of time in our bed. Knowing that she would have a sister sharing her room eventually anyway, when we moved, we added a second bed in her room that one of us would "go to sleep in". That way we were close to her, but it started the weaning process. At first, she wanted to crawl into bed with us, and we let that happen, but only for a few minutes, "okay, but you have to go back to bed when I say so..." We were soon able to leave the room after she fell asleep and find comfort in our own beds. Placing a small fan or air purifier in their room helps create white noise, so we can come and go (and so can the train, it is Edmond after all) without disturbing them. I'm not recommending that you have another to entertain the first, but in my case having them so close together created a lot of diaper time (4yrs of it, they're 13 mos apart), but they have a very close bond. If you try going cold turkey and its just too stressful, then maybe you can incorporate a trundle or day bed into her room - she is a girl afterall, and there will inevitably be sleep-overs, and give that a try. I hope this helps, and good luck! Congrats on your new home!

I'd go the slow and easy approach. Always put her down in her bed and let her cry a little longer each night until she understands that she needs to stay in her own bed. Cold turkey can be very traumatic for a little one and going to sleep with her will just start a new habit that you'll have to break later.

Well, I'm going to be the odd one out and say do NOT go cold turkey. I can't believe I'm actually hearing this suggestion. Moving to a new house that your DD is not used to is stressful enough without her having to feel abandoned at night in a strange place. My sister's twins were 3 or 4 years old when they moved to a new house and they cried for their old house for a LONG time. We may think things are harder on us, but we can't read their minds. I personally would lay with her in her new room until she is asleep. Once she is used to the new room, I'd GRADUALLY move out, so that it would be painless. You want her to love bedtime and her room, not fear it. Also, if she came to my room at night, I'd either take her back to her room, or let her finish out the night in my room. Just my 2 cents, for what it's worth. I have a 9 year old and a 20 year old. Both of them go to sleep on their own with no problems, and I don't regret for one minute the nighttime parenting I did with them.

~A.~

Hi J..

I think you should start the transition right away. It will be a totally new environment for her, too. Explain to her NOW that when you get into your new house, she will have her very own room and her own place to sleep. When you move into your house, take her to her new room and show her where she will sleep. Tell her things will be different now that she has her own room. No more sleeping with Mom and Dad. (It's not a good idea to begin with. Very hard to break, sometimes.) She is still young enough to go through the transition. If she should come into your room in the night, simple take her back to her bed, tuck her in and leave, without saying a word. It may take several attempts, or several nights, but she will eventually settle in for the night in her own bed. Be consistant and persistant. Don't give in!! It will be hard, but worth it in the end. This is the best way for her and you. Good luck.

A.

Train her slowly to go to bed in her own room. Put her to bed, and stay in the darkened room, tidying quietly, folding her clothes, putting them away, or sitting in a chair, etc. until she goes to sleep. Don't lay down with her. After a time, she will forget she slept with you. Then you can work on just putting her to bed and leaving the room. You want her new room to be a peaceful place, where she loves to be.

It has been my experience that when you tough it out for three nights that is all it usually takes. I know it seems tramatic but I think drawing it out would only make it worse. Children can be very adaptable to their surroundings and schedules. Try it out.

My son slept with me until he was six months old. He wouldn't sleep in his bassinet and I just couldn't bear to put him in a separate room. I had promised my husband that when he turned six months old that I would try him in his room in the crib. He loved it!! He stretched out and slept, well, like a baby!! I was proud of him, but it also kind of broke my heart. Fix up her room and crib and say a prayer and maybe it will work out easily. I was worried sick about night of crying and sleeplessness but he's slept alone in his room every night. If it doesn't work out easily and you just can't take the stress and the sleep deprivation, then just keep trying every few weeks. I suppose you could also take comfort in the fact that I have come to realize, out of all of our friends and relatives with young children that we have the only child that is sleeping alone!! Best of luck.