JFF What Do You Do When Your Friend's Kids Send You FB Friend Requests

Personally, I always felt like being FB friends with my kids' friends was an excellent way of spying on them without actually doing so.

:)

I can't say no to a kid, and I have many kid friends on FB. Some of them are boys who friended me when they were in their young teens (but only kids I personally know.)

I have accepted all kids' friend requests, with the exception of kids who are my students. My students will have to wait till they graduate to friend me. But other kids are fine.

No way. #1 Facebook says you have to be 13 to be on Facebook. #2 even though I don't post anything inappropriate it isn't for a me to see. #3 I don't want my feed filling up with all the posts that kids make. My cousin's 14 year old daughter's posts used to drive me crazy. #4 It could open up any number of boundary issues. My personal rule--If it isn't a family member, I won't be Facebook friends until they are out of college. I would ignore the request and move on. No reason to explain why to the kid or mom. If she asks a simple I wasn't comfortable with it.

i wish parents would honor FB's sensible age restriction.
i accept all requests from young friends and family members. after a while i rarely see 'em in my feed any more. i don't limit my content, ever, and i don't censor it to be kid-friendly, so i presume that at some point the children's parents wake up and realize that aunt S.'s FB is not really the place for their kids to be.
but i raised my kids. it's not my job to raise theirs. if parents let their young children go on FB and friend adults, it's on the parents to check content and apply restrictions.
khairete
S.

I did not start accepting our daughters friends until they were graduated from High School. I did not request them as friends, they requested me as their friends. It seemed like they did this so we would not lose touch.

I figured by then they could handle pretty much anything posted.

And yes, they really do sometimes want to be our friends on FB to keep in touch mostly. I warn them that I post about a lot of things, so they should "hide" me so I do not bore them with my silliness, but can easily message me if they need me or to stay in contact.

Our daughter says her college friends really enjoy staying in touch with me and my husband. My daughter just thinks it is amusing. I always ask her first if it is ok to be friends with her acquaintances when they send me a request. I do also have a few family friends children that I am friends with on FB, again, they asked me, so I accepted most of them, but they are juniors or seniors in High School.

You have to judge. I would maybe ask their parents first if they are not 16 or 17 years old, or are from a family with different Values than yours.

We have some young cousins that are VERY conservative. When I received a request from one of them, I asked my cousin, their mother, if she would be ok with him seeing my page. She said she would speak with him. She did give permission. I did not censor anything. He is now a college freshman.

I am who I am. I accept them on FB with my warning and only if I want to be their friend also.

In high school a lot of my kids friends friended me. The first time I asked my daughter do you care, she said no, and moving on. I would imagine half my FB friends are actually my kid's friends.

At 11, no, because you shouldn't have a FB at 11.

Also my kids have always been my FB friends, never had to demand it, that was just one of the first things they did. It is also why all their friends friended me. Oh, is that your mom, yeah, click.

I accept all friend requests from kids. Their parents want me to. It is the best way to monitor what your teenagers are doing on the site.

I don't post anything that I consider inappropriate for any age. I have a 12 year-old daughter, and I am comfortable with her seeing anything I post (she does not have her own FB account, but sometimes looks at mine).

But then, that's how I parent - I'd much rather subjects come up for us to discuss instead of being protective at home and the subjects coming up with her friends. She reads at an adult level, and we have conversations about any subject at that level.

I am friends with my son and all of his friends on facebook. What better way to keep tabs...

As far as what I post on facebook, I only post what I am comfortable with everyone to see because I know that all types of people will see my posts, from children, to my employers, to my kids teachers, to my minister at church.

My kid was in high school when FB became a thing. Some of her friends sent me requests and I always accepted them. I figured that the more adults keeping tabs on the kids, the better.

Some of my content would not be considered kid-friendly by other people's standards, although it was nothing I would object to my own kid seeing. I don't censor myself on my wall in case young eyes might be reading. My wall, my choice of posts. If other parents don't like my posts on their kid's wall, they can tell the kid to unfriend me.

Mostly, I don't have minors as FB friends. The exceptions are my own son and his best friend.

I decline the friend requests of friend's children, as well as my nieces and nephews. I've also occasionally reported the pages of kids I knew to be under 13.

Facebook Terms of Service prohibit people under 13 from having an account, and I think people should adhere to it. You must enter a (non-changeable) birthdate to set up an account, so when parents allow the <13 kid to do it, it requires starting with a lie.

I am Facebook friends with several of my granddaughter 'so friends. I rarely post but even if I was active on Facebook I'd still be friends. I see Facebook as similar to face conversations. If I wouldn't say it to their face I won'the post it. Facebook is not private.

My granddaughter is Facebook friends with her Dad who lives in another state. Sometimes his posts aren'T appropriate for her. At first I was concerned. No more. My granddaughter is able to differentiate between what is appropriate for children and for adults. She's now 14 and anything said on Facebook has been said by other teens. Earlier most adult posts went over her head.

I would ignore it on fb. The next time you see the boy you can explain in a friendly way that hey you saw his request, but that everyone uses their facebook a little differently, and that you your use your facebook exclusively for your adult friends. So you explain that you certainly like him, and it's not a personal slight, you just don't "friend" children, so you won't be accepting his request. Then change the subject to something else for a bit. He will understand, I'm sure.

I have an 11 year old son and a 15 year old daughter. I think at this age it's a training ground. Tweens are at an awkward social stage. By practicing with others hopefully they learn their way. My dear friend's daughter FaceTimes me a lot. It's in part because she doesn't have a huge social group right now. She wants to be able to FaceTime because she sees that's a fun social activity and I respond to her most of the time. My daughter had an adult friend she texted frequently and I appreciated her taking the time to respond when she could. To me it is harmless and a way to make the child feel important because they are friends/followed by people. As soon as my daughter made her own social circle, she hasn't texted the adult except to rember her birthday or wish her a happy holiday.

I have always felt if my kids weren't comfortable talking to me for whatever reason I wanted adults in place who would be of good moral character to guide them.

Blessings!
L.

I would just ignore the request, and not say anything unless he asks you directly.

I would not be comfortable being FB friends with my kids friends or vice versa.

I didn't take kids younger than HS ages as FB frends. My process was to not accept the request and let their parent know.

Just ignore it. There's no rules that say you have to be friends with everyone! I ignore TONS of requests. Only my family and good friends are on facebook with me.

sorry - but what is an 11 year old doing with a FB account?? Minimum age is 13....

I would ignore the request. I would also check my settings to find out if I'm public or friends only...

If you want to send a message? Tell the kid it's great that he reached out to you but the minimum age for facebook is 13.

does his MOM know he has a FB account? what does she think of it?? Oh well - either way - I would deny the request.

We don't do much Facebook.
I have a few friends and they are my friends - and even then what little politics they get into just makes me wonder why I'm friends with them sometimes.
I had my niece as a friend for awhile - big mistake.
I don't need to see all the FB drama and teenage nonsense.
Yes my niece was on FB while under the age limit.
Her account was deleted for awhile while divorce proceedings were going on before my BIL passed away.
If anything I wish the age limit was higher than 13 but then again some people never grow up no matter how old they get.

I accept them...I am friends with their parents so they will see that we are "friends" on FB as well. I don't post anything controversial (normally) so it's fine. My FB is revolving around my family and really is just a way to keep in touch with people who don't live close.

Technically they should be teenagers to be on FB but people lie.

I don't friend people I am not actually friends with. I need to have worked with you, dined with you (and would again) or otherwise have a true connection with you. I would only Friend one of the sks' friends after s/he was an adult because I am not my sks' Friend on FB for a lot of reasons. DH is FB Friends with our friends' teen daughter and he's appalled at her postings. It's typical teen angst, but I think it's not benefiting him to be a part of her dramarama. I've suggested he unfollow at the least and unfriend if it's bothering him. Or talk to her parents.

IMO, you don't need to do more than say no. In my sks' case, it would do no good to say, "FB is my sphere with my friends and I am not your friend, I am your stepparent. I do not want your mother spying on me via your account." So I just don't Friend them and vice versa. Maybe when they are older adults. We keep in touch via text, Skype and email.

I would just ignore it. If he sees you and asks you I would just say oh I don't accept requests from kids, but thanks! I think kids that age mostly just want to have a million friends and aren't going to get their feelings hurt over it or anything.

And yes, the last I knew, the FB age limit was a minimum of 13.

ETA…I would agree with Canuk that if your children are on FB, then yes I would start accepting (demanding) they become your friends and friend their friends too. If your kids aren't on FB then I defer back to my previous answer. :)

Most of them I ignore. It is my choice when I friend someone and my older daughter says she sees a lot of the video clips I watch because it shows up on her feed. With that said, if it shows up on my feed and looks funny or interesting, I might click on it. If I would discuss it in front of them, I see no need to share it via FB. Since mom didn't take the hint, I would ignore him.

I believe the FB age is 16. They just calculate that age and enter it in.

My nieces friend requested my friendship. No way! I clicked ignore on the request. I don't even know the kid.

I have tons of kids on my FB page. As I accept a person as a friend I hover over their name then go down and decide what I want to do with them.

If they are someone I specifically only want to play games with I make them an acquaintance and I un-follow them. I don't care to see their daily posts and pictures of their kids and grand kids and their aunts stepson's grand kid...it can be tedious.

When I have someone from high school or similar that I just want to be connected to so I can see how they turned out...lol...I just leave them alone. If I want to see their posts I follow them. If I want to go to their page to read their latest posts then I don't follow them. It's a choice.

When you go to your friends list you can go to each person and group them, name them younger crowd or something like that. If it was me and I posted things that kids shouldn't see then I'd make a group for just those people/kids.

Then when I was posting something a bit risque I'd click on " then go down to "custom" for the population it's going to.

When you're on the custom privacy page it says "share" it has a box labeled:

These people or lists>>> then it shows you several selections. IF IF IF you wanted to make a list of specific friends who'd enjoy your slightly risque posts more than others you could make a list of just them and then you could click on that list here and no one else would see that post. It would not be sent to them. IF other people came to your wall they'd still be able to see it though.

If you go to the bottom half of that page where it says:

Don't share this with>>> you simply type in that younger list of people that shouldn't see this.

Once you get the hang of how to make your posts private and understand how simple it is you do it almost automatically. I send stuff all the time and block it from my father in law and grand kids. They're on a list with a bunch of people I would do nothing to offend.

My policy, and I state it to young folks who have asked to Friend, is that FB is my adult world and I will be happy to friend them after they are 18, but not before that. I also don't friend people who are currently my students (I teach college) until they graduate. My justification there is that they don't need to see the photos of me being goofy in high school.

I don't post racy stuff or have sketchy photos on FB; it's just the principle that part of my life should be for me as an adult.

I ignore them. My daughter is 19 and I will occasionally get a request from a friend here and there. I am picky on who I select to see my page and not, so I just ignore.

I do have a cousin who is obnoxious as hell and he was "hurt" when I unfriended him and made a big freaking deal about it with my mom and me at a family gathering. So, I added him back, went to custom settings so he sees nothing I post and I don't see him.

I handle it by letting them know the minimum age on Facebook is 13 and they have no business being on it. Then I block them.

Personally, I would not add a friend of my child's (or step child's), it just seems weird to me.

I only have family on my Facebook, I set it up to keep in touch with my family members that do not live close by.

I wouldn't.

I am not friends with my nieces and nephews simply because I don't want to see a 15 year old whine about high school. My babysitter is 17 and insisted my wife and I add her when we moved. She is pretty mature but I still roll my eyes when she posts how much she loves her boyfriend. But that's me. Think about what 11 year olds think about and ask if you really want that on your page. I don't know if I would even want to be friends with my own kids!

I think that accepting friend requests from kids, or from people who friend-request absolutely everyone on the planet, just encourages misuse of FB. Why is this little boy friend-requesting a woman your age, who sees his mom around town? It just shows a lack of discipline and boundaries where the internet is concerned in his home. Can you imagine your little kid eating his cereal and saying "mommy, I think I'll send an internet request to that lady that you always say hi to at the grocery store" or "mama, I'm going to connect online to Jimmy's mommy, ok?"

What would you say?

My only young FB friends are friends of my son, who is now in his mid-20s. Some of his friends from high school and beyond (a limited few) have stayed in touch with our family because they ate at our house so often. They read my food blog and occasionally they ask me a cooking question. But like my son, they're in their 20s.

I would just ignore the request and not mention it. If he's friend-requesting people he sees when doing errands with his mom, then he's probably friend-requesting a lot of people and probably won't even remember or notice how many requests he's sent out. And the fact that his mom is ok with such a young boy seeing "questionable stuff" is a red flag. Don't encourage him by responding or accepting. He's too young and unsupervised on line, it would seem.

Can't you just accept and limit the content he is able to see?

I have a strict rule for myself that I don't "friend" any minors. I don't post inappropriate stuff, but you never know if your friends do and they can see it...I jus don't see the need for kids to see my pictures and what's going on in my life...I also don't really want to see what they are posting either. :)

That being said, I have a girl scout troop of 8 girls. They are all getting to that age and I will have to address this rule with their parents as some point...We do have a group page that they can join and will go that route.

I won't friend kids or any of my friends kids.