I Lost My Best Friend from High School!

Updated on October 15, 2006
K.O. asks from Flint, MI
19 answers

Last Tuesday I found out that my dearest friend died in an auto accident. I spent all last week with her family but, I can't seem to let it go. I think about it everyday and I think its causing me a great deal of anxiety. I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal or if I should seek some sort of professional help. Any advice would help!

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So What Happened?

I want to tell all of you THANK YOU. Your support and advise has helped me a lot the last couple of days. I even have tried talking to family and writing a journal like some of you have suggested. Mamasource has really helped me and I will always be here for all of you. With lots of love. K.

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T.B.

answers from Detroit on

I think this is all a part of the grieving process. It is hea;thy to talk about it, so call up a friend or a close family member. So sorry to hear this, death is hard no matter who it is.

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A.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I know how hard it is to all of a sudden lose someone. It's probably the worst thing you will ever go through. But to give you some encouragement even though you don't think so it will get better. I think aniexty is normal. Although sometimes talking to someone weather professional or not really helps. Just remember, I don't know wheather you are a christian or not but God is always in control. He will take care of you!!

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

Hello friend my name is S. and i all so lost a good friend as well sept 17 was the one of the worst days of my life ! He was 29 with one little girl and one on the way ! his family was very specail they help the childern in the neightborhood so there for ther so much bond that has been made with alot of people that now are 23to 30 that has grown up to great people and have great jobs and kids, wife who are sisters now because we make these friendships that last a life time so all ways look for them in your heart and share there familys love ok and i bet you will feel so much better just knowing that you will never forget them! love shell!

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D.D.

answers from Detroit on

loosing someone unexpectadly always causes anxiety and when the person is very close to you it takes a very long time to "get over it" the best advice i can give is to take things a day at a time and try and remember 1 small special thing about this person every day until things seem to be more normalized for you and you arent as anxious feeling; things like this are always tragic and always poses that question of "Why" and there is never any answer and the unknown is the cuase of the anxiety. things will get a little easier in time; and what you are feeling even after a week is completely normal. but if you start to feel as though you are unable to care for yourself or child, or any other major depression signs you should definately make an appointment with your family practioner.

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N.W.

answers from Lansing on

I am sorry to hear of your loss. What you have been describing is part of the stages of grief. This is the process of healing, and takes time. Professional help is always a healthy option, and can be very beneficial in guiding you through this tramatic life experience. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best.

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S.T.

answers from Saginaw on

K.~
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I don't have much advice to give you, other than when I lost a family member, it helped to just talk to them as if they were there...I'd tell her all about my day and I really felt like she was listening to me...silly or not it helped me get through it. You'll probably always expect her to be on the other end of the telephone, but eventually you will heal...if you feel at all depressed after a couple of weeks, or you have some serious feelings that need an outlet, go see someone, nobody would hold it against you~
good luck, you are in my prayers

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R.H.

answers from Detroit on

I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your friend. It has just happened. Not only does it take time to grieve, but grief also comes in waves and stages. When you feel that you can't possibly take any more pain, it will ease, then catch you unaware again.

When you feel overwhelmed with the grief, talking with someone is always a good idea.

Healing thoughts to you and the family of your dear friend.

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K., My name is K. and I am a funeral director in downtown Lapeer. I can tell you that what you are going thru is completely normal. Unfortunally, you are going to grieve for a long time, and that is ok and healthy for you to do. Some days will be better than others, and some days it will completely control your entire day. Over time, though, the pain will start to be less, but don't think that time will be soon, or that it needs to be. It is very normal for you to feel anxiety and sadness, but sometimes support groups can be helpful to help you understand your grief. If you would like some information I would be happy to help you get connected with a group. They say that "grief shared is grief diminished" because you know that there are others out there who understand what you are going thru. Don't be to hard on yourself, you have lost a good friend. Allow yourself to mourn. Again, if you would like help or just to chat, let me know. God Bless.

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A.M.

answers from Lansing on

i totally understand how you are feeling, i lost my best friend from high school a few years ago, he died in a fire, what you are feeling is completely normal. it definitly helps to talk to others about it, always makes me feel better. it took me quite awhile to deal with the fact that id never be able to talkwith him again, in fact it still hurts, but everyday it gets easier. i dont think the feeling of loss will ever really go away, since you and this person were so close, bt it does get better.

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M.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I know how u feel. When i was in ninth gr. i had a friend who passed away but her brother shot her & it was very hard for me to function for ahwile. that is how i deal w/ death i ponder on it. i do suffer from anxiety & depression. I went to therapy & that helped for awhile but now i am on zoloft & love it. Im not saying its for everyone. Maybe u should go see someone if it is bothering u that bad. i wasnt old enough to relize i needed to see someone. Do u suffer from anxiety alrready? well anyways...u will get through this it may take some time. have a great day. email me if u would like. ttyl. M.

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K.L.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K.,
On August 1 I also lost my best friend (plus her mother and her 2 sons, 3 yrs and 1yrs old)in a pretty violent car crash on the Indiana toll way. It's been very difficult, especially now that the funerals are over (there were three services in 3 diffrent states). I spoke to her twice a week and that's what I miss now. That feeling to pick up the phone and realizing she isn't there. It's only been a week for you. Give yourself some more time to mourn and deal with your loss. The only thing I am doing to help my grief is speaking to "our" friends and remember her and after 18 years, learning things about her from her other friends that I didn't know that well. I did pick up a couple of books about grief that helped alot also. I'm sorry for your loss.

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L.S.

answers from Detroit on

As everyone else has stated, what you are feeling is very normal. Earlier this year my 2 y/o nieces dad was killed three days before she turned 2. His death was sudden, tragic and senseless. I am still having a very hard time dealing with his death. The funny thing about it is, I didn't realize how much I cared about him until he was gone. I have actually had to do grief counceling myself, but it's really different when you're the one in pain. But I do know that eventually things will get better. You have to take it day by day. Some days will be worse than others. But if you do feel like you need to talk to someone, I suggest you do that. You are in my prayers...stay encouraged, and live life for your friend.

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T.F.

answers from Toledo on

This summer I lost a really good friend from high school in a tragic accident. I was quite upset and thought about it a lot at the time. It will get better with time, however if it is taking over your life then maybe some help would be good. Hope everything works out for you.

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A.I.

answers from Lansing on

what you are fealing is normal death is always hard even harder when you are not preparid for it you never got to say your good bye take some time to celabrate her life and slowlie yhe pain will subside maybe go to one of her favrite place and say your good bye to her that way hope you find closure in her passing she maybe gone but she will always be with you .

hope i helped
A.

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T.A.

answers from Detroit on

I too have a best friend all the way back since grade school. We are 43 now. I can't imagine how awful it would be if something so tradgic happened to her. I think counseling is a great idea. I lost my Dad 5 years ago, while I was pregnant and I think I just went through the motions. We all need to grief, which I don't think I did properly. I'm in counseling now for a variety of reasons and I'm sure that is one that adds to my depression. Please take care of yourself at such a fragile time. So sorry for your loss.
T.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Be kind to yourself. And don't worry if your reaction is normal. Losing a dear friend would cause anyone to feel sadness, anxiety,depression, anger--and probably a zillion other complex varieties of emotion. But mourning is also very personal.
I just wish for you that you have a very strong support network, or a place where you can go to talk about some of your feelings to give them a 'home' so you can process them.
Kind wishes,

M.

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R.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

i lost one of my best friends from high school last year. it was very hard. she died of smoke inhalation when her apartment complex caught fire. but, like any death, you will slowly start to feel normal again. you just have to lean on friends and family for support. when she died, i thought about her non-stop. after a while, i thought about her less. now, there are days that i don't think about her. i will always remember her though. nothing can make me forget.

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L.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hello K.!

My name is L.. I am sorry to hear about your lost. It is hard to lose a dear friend. I loss a friend years ago he was killed. The bad part is I did not find out until months later. This bothered me for some time. At least you had the opportunity to spend time with her family. I know it is hard but try to focus on the good times the two of you shared. She would not want you to feel the anxiety. Remember none of us are here to stay. Take it one day at a time.

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J.T.

answers from Detroit on

K.,

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of such a close friend. That has got to be a very difficult thing to deal with. I just wanted you to know that it is very normal to have trouble "letting go". Although, it never hurts having someone to talk to that can help you sort through your feelings and try help you to find ways to manage life without someone that you love. Best wishes!

Jennifer

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