How Typical Is It...

Updated on June 27, 2012
H.P. asks from Elsa, TX
19 answers

...for toddlers under two years old to play alone in their rooms? I'm wondering how you guys do it.

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So What Happened?

Thanks. I'm not interested in leaving him in his bedroom to play. He plays independently, just out in the open throughout the house. I just wanted to hear what is typical.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Depends on the child. My son has always been very independent. He can play alone happily from 1 year until now. I didn't really leave him alone much until now (3 years,) because he is a little dare devil. He could get himself into too much trouble! He has chilled out with that now, and I can leave him to play in his room while I'm doing things around the house. (Small house.) My nephew is the same age, and has always been completely incapable of playing by himself. Some kids can, some won't.

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

Mine always wanted mommy. I have found though if you start something with them and get them into it you can then sit back and relax while they enjoy it

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Very typical.

My little man plays most of the day on his own. We'll play "together" for a few minutes, and play side by side for awhile - but he's learning balance and about floors and drawers and toys and colors and just seeing stuff.

Isn't interested yet in playing "with" someone.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

My boy is 20 months. He will sometimes play alone in his room. He likes to open and close the drawers, push cars along the windowsills, play with the kid sized punching bag, and just look at books or musical toys. He manages to entertain himself for as long as 15-20 minutes at a time, and his ability to concentrate on any given task is improving with age and with daycare. He's had an independent/ self sufficient streak from the outset.

Our circumstances don't compell us to require him to play alone in his room. He's an only child, both of us work so its not as though we were hoping for and actively cultivating this independent play so that we could get a moments peace. He just does it naturally.

When he was truely little, I thought it was a bit odd. Older/ wiser/ more experienced parents told me not to undermine this excellent trait because I selfishly want to play with him. They said there would be opportunity enough for interaction. They were right.

So by way of synopsis. He has a natural inclination. We proved lucky. We were smart enough not to undermine this proclivity.

Also, we are in a small 2 bed apartment. So I am steps away and always within earshot, even behind closed doors.

good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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C._.

answers from Huntington on

Hmmm... I played with my first child a lot because I was so excited to be a mom. I think even the times I wasn't playing with him he was playing nearby. I don't know that he would have played alone in his room and at that young I wouldn't have trusted him to. I'd have been too nervous. :o)

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i think it depends on the 2 year old and their personality and if the room is toddler proof. i tried to get emmy to do it when she was two and it was rare she wasnt clinging to M.. she's an only kid and relied on M. as a playmate and being my first I gave in. I would however bribe her with gerber puffs and a tv show or some computer games to get her to be on her own so I could shower when she was 2.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

My son is five now. When he was that age, he never played alone in his room. He liked being close, and I liked being able to keep an eye on him, so we designated the living room as a play area. He also co-slept with us for a long time, and didn't sleep in his own room or really even claim any ownership of it until he was three or so. At that point, we was allowed to play unobserved and could be relied upon to be safe.

Worked for us! I also think that if we'd had his room off the kitchen and put the toys in his room, it might have been different. It really depends on the household, the house and how comfortable you are with having toys in the common spaces. My household rule is 'no toys in the kitchen'-- that's my kingdom!

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My son pretty much NEVER played alone at age 2. He didn't want to. He wanted mama or dada at all times. It was exhausting. I'd praise him like crazy if he played by himself for just 2 minutes. He had a very needy personality. My daughter is the opposite. Starting at age 1 she'd happily play by herself for up to an hour! She is two and a half now and still will get in these creative pretend moods where she sits and plays by herself in the livingroom or in her room while I am doing stuff in the rest of the house. I love listening to her pretending - so cute. So, i think the answer is it totally depends on personality.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I would guess not very. None of my kids did that, ever.

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My DD didn't start playing in her room until she was about 3.5. Even though she played by herself at 2, she still liked being around people over her toys.

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F.M.

answers from San Antonio on

My son rarely played by himself in his room under age 2. After 2, he sometimes went to his room to play with the big legos. There was a Lego table in there that he liked to play with and stick the Legos to and build on. Now that he's 4 it's still kind of weird I think for him to be in his room playing. I think it all just depends on where you keep the toys and the setup of your house. At my friend's house, there are very few toys in her living room. The kids' rooms are filled with toys. They play in the rooms all the time. At my house, I'd rather talk to my son while he plays, so we often take toys out of his room into the living area then put them away before bed.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Do you expect him to just play in his room?
For how long?

2 is very young.
They are not even self-reliant.
And they don't even have impulse-control, nor is it fully developed yet at this age.
They like to be by Mommy.

I personally, never expected my kids to just play in their room by themselves.
They liked company even if in their room playing.
Or I just wanted to make sure they are safe... .
My friend's son, as a Toddler, was VERY active... and was prone to CLIMBING up on dressers and shelves. For example.
Any room they are in, or by themselves, it has to be safety proofed.

My son however, was independent and was able to just play by himself. But I was always in the room. I did not have him only in his room. He was in the room I was in.

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

all of mine would do it... some for like 15 mins at a time just to make sure mom was still there.. others we would have to drag out of their rooms to eat lol.

Sometimes now that the older ones are teens/ young teens they would go in their rooms and do something just to have the peace again.. they can be louder than the younger ones!

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My almost 2 year old will go to his room (on his own) a few times a day just to "read" his books. He will also play in his brother's room by himself--until brother notices:)

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

at 2, they're not really interested in playing WITH someone...but at the same time, that's a little too young to be left alone to play imo. usually at 2 mine was playing in the livingroom and following me around as i did whatever. i think mine was closer to 4 before he really spent much time "playing" in his room.

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

My youngest played alone at that age but usually in the living room where she was still near me. She just turned four and only now plays in her room by herself. However, she still prefers to be near me, whether she is interacting with me or not.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

My son who is 2 plays in his room off and off for a little while throughout the day. We are in a smaller place right now and so most of his toys are in the living room, so what I do is switch out his toys randomly and put some ones that he hasn't played with in a while in his room to entice him to play in there. It works pretty good, and he will quietly play for a little while. I will peek in on him every so often and he's fine. His room is toddler proofed so not much he could do in there but play.

He is my only child and he is very clingy to me but he does go off and play by himself nowadays. He will come and check on me too through the day just the same as I do to him.

So try putting in some fun toys and coloring books in your child's room and stay in there with them for a few minutes then sneak away and soon enough I am sure they will play independently for awhile at a time.

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son has played alone in his room since he could crawl down there! Its keeping him out of our bedroom and his sister's room that is the problem.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

the ONLY time that ever happens (4 yrs and 2 yrs old) is when we ask them to pick up the toys in the living room. One arm full of toys and they never re appear ! ! ! !

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