How Should I Start the Potty Training Process? and at What Age Would It Be Ideal

Updated on July 10, 2016
A.C. asks from Ladera Ranch, CA
14 answers

My child is 15 months old currently and aware when she needs to go to the loo.

What can I do next?

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D.D.

answers from Boston on

Just put a potty chair in the bathroom and let her sit. If she goes then that's on=e less diaper you have to change. If she doesn't then its no big deal. The mechanics of using the bathroom are hard for little ones because they have to know they have to go, stop what they are doing, go to the bathroom, have their diaper removed, sit down, and then go. Its a lot of stuff for a little one to grasp.

I usually started potty training around 2-2 1/2 and they were pretty reliable with few accidents around 3. The key thing is not to get upset about accidents and to remain calm because you don't want to make it into a big deal.

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia!

Every child is different.

My daughter was 4 before she was potty trained - she just wasn't ready. We started at 2, it was a nightmare. So we just let it go and let her decide when she was ready. If you push a child to potty train too soon? They will fight and there are times when their brain is NOT ready.
My oldest son? 2.5 years old and done in a week. Day and Night. He's now 16 and never had a problem.
My youngest son? 4 and had wet nights until 5.

Your daughter might be aware, but she's still young. If she wants to potty in the toilet? GO FOR IT!!! Just don't expect her to be perfect nor expect this to be permanent.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Every kid is so different, it's hard to know. But 15 months is pretty early.

One of mine showed interest at 18 months, and I got all excited and tried to push it (tried the "put on underpants and take them every 30 min" strategy) - and failed miserably in frustration. I backed off and went back to diapers although he like the potty video I had bought (Potty Power!), so we kept watching that.

Then, at age 2, he decided he wanted to be a 'big boy', asked to use the potty, and was 100% daytime trained in about 3 days.

A similar thing happened with my other child, but about 6 months later. At age 2, I decided he should do it. Failed. Then just before he turned 3, he decided he wanted to wear underpants and had it down in a day or two.

So my advice: introduce the concepts. Get a fun book or video. Show her how to get her pants up and down. Have a little potty or a potty seat for the toilet on hand for her to try. Then let her decide when she is ready.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Our son was 3 1/2 when he was potty trained.
Some kids can do it earlier and some later.
I let daycare take the lead on it.
He went when his whole class was learning at the same time so it was something everybody did and they had these tiny child sized toilets that were totally non-threatening.
Because he was ready, it was easy and it seemed like it only took a few days for him to get it.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Although I know some kids do potty train earlier, in my experience three is the age to do it. Before the age of three we read potty training books and watched potty training videos. We even had the potty in the washroom just in case, but we didn't take away diapers until they were three. I knew many parents who started at two, and spent a whole year potty training, because the child was not able to verbalize the need to go, or undress independently, or really couldn't care less. My good friend still insists her child was fully trained at the age of two. She spent a full year taking him to the potty every hour, pulling down his pants, wiping him etc and still had to clean up accidents. I started at three and spent a week potty training. After one week we were accident free day and night.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

It does depend on the child. My son was potty trained for poo by the time he was 9 months old. He didn't like the feeling of the mess in his cloth diaper. So he would use the potty. It took us until he was about three before he was finally done with wetting. I went to hospital to have my daughter and he wet once and never did it again.

Good luck to you. But don't push it and turn training into a power struggle.

the other S.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

When they're ready and mature enough and can do it then potty training is super easy. So many parents take it as an affront when their child isn't trained at 1 or 2. It's supposed to be natural and pretty easy.

A toddler doesn't really have the ability to HOLD it for very long. That's when potty training is the next step. Kids can be aware of the feelings in their bladder and that there's pee coming out and such early on but the actual cognitive brain function they need to have to not even know they have to go but hold it anyway, then acknowledge they need to go when they feel that urge, make the trip to the bathroom, pulls stuff down, get on the seat, go, wipe, pull stuff up, go wash hands, etc...that's brain stuff.

I will tell you that I didn't even have a kid's bathroom in my toddler room in child care. I had one in the 2 year old preschool classroom because that's usually the oldest any of the kids will be mentally ready to get the whole thing. AND I required pull ups for anyone not in a diaper full time. Why? I didn't want to hire a janitor to run around that classroom all day cleaning up pee and pooh off the flooring and furniture and cots and toys and picking up play clothes and stuff to run it off to the washing machine.

Having a potty training child in panties is nasty. I know, you can clean it up and it not be nasty. But it's still hard to get every single spot. Pull ups keep it clean.

By the time the kids were turning 3 and getting ready to start Head Start they had to be potty trained. We really focused on that older 2 year old and the 3 year olds. They are usually ready.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

Most kids have a window around that age where they really get it, and if you push it just a bit and don't give up they will potty train completely before 22 mos old, really, I've done it with daycare kids. Lots of daycare kids over the years.
My advice is look for them pulling at their diaper and pay attention to their signs to encourage them to use the potty, they easily go to the lazy stage where they just don't care anymore if you don't get that window of time to train early. Think of it like you would introducing the cup or a spoon - you don't stop just cause they don't get the idea immediately and if you do it day by day they will understand. Each time you change their diaper have them sit on the potty for a bit, just make it what they associate with a clean diaper and if they go in the potty go with it.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Mine were just turning 3 when they mastered it. I did it very quickly because I waited until they were fully showing signs they were ready. We took a long weekend each time and just kept close to the house and off came the diapers. They wore underwear and no bottoms. I kept a potty near them at all times. One pee accident each and they put 2 and 2 together.

My friends who started their kids really young (your child's age) were still dealing with it a year later. They'd have set backs. And were heavily involved.

So it depends on your personality - and your child's and if they are genuinely ready.

Some kids show an interest - then lose it, and parents wait a year again before trying.

With us, the daycare and I were in agreement on when to start - we both felt the same way at the same time. After 2 weeks of me keeping potty close by, and at the daycare doing gentle reminders, they were fully there. Mine did pee, poop and overnight at same time. I think we did pull ups at night for a while to be sure, but they didn't need them.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Go for it. She is still at the age where she wants to please you. If you wait until she is 3 or so, she will be at the age where she wants to be her own person and will be perfectly happy to do the opposite of what you want. The great majority of the world's children are trained before age 1. Prior to the advent of disposable diapers in this country most children were fully trained (done, not just starting) at 18 months.

My son was about 15 months old. He had ZERO signs of 'potty readiness' at the time - I had never even heard the term. He had never asked to use the potty and was rarely dry in the morning. We put him in underwear, took him to the toilet (we used a baby Bjorn toilet seat cover, not a potty - sorry but they are gross) whenever he woke up, immediately after eating and whenever we noticed he had not been in several hours. We also took him into the bathroom when we went so he knew what it was for. He had frequent accidents the first 4-5 days, a few more (2 or 3) over the next two weeks and then we were DONE. Life is vastly better with a potty trained child - both for parents and the world which is full of way too many disposable diapers.

Some people will tell you that they are not 'trained' until they ask to go the potty. I was just fine telling him to go use the bathroom whenever he woke up, after meals and when we were going to leave the house. He would not head off to the bathroom on his own without an announcement until he was probably 4 or so. However I don't think he had an accident after the first month so I thought that was perfectly satisfactory.

Our Montessori preschool only accepted them (age 3) if they were fully potty trained.

M.P.

answers from Boston on

My 2 children and 4 steps were all done by the time they were 15 months old. I did it the old fashion way my mom did. When they could sit on their own, dry when they wake up in the morning, we put them on the potty. Diapered, fed breakfast and back to the potty. Before nap time, on the potty, when they work up etc. No water after 7pm, wake up before hubby and I went to bed and put on the potty.

Started the process again the next day. So we were somewhat like the daycare person, except I was home and able to do; and my husband's first wife did same with their 4 children. When they could walk on their own, they either let us know they had to go and we helped them until they could manage pulling the training pants down. Of course with wiping we did that til they were old enough to manage by themselves. There was no difference in our boys versus our girls.

My oldest daughter repeated this process with her son. The younger 5 with kids did their way and complained thorough the process. Oldest son still single; no kids.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I started out with pull-ups at around 17 months (when he showed interest) and just let him be. After a few months, with just gentle encouragement, he was peeing on the potty about 50% of the time and pooping on the potty 100% of the time, so we went to undies. The first day was terrible, he had 13 accidents and was asking for his pull-up back but I stood firm and reminded him that he knew what to do. But the second day he only had 3 accidents, and after that it was once or twice a week for a bit until he got it 100%. I never pushed or punished, I just let him figure it out as he went.

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Don't rush it!!!!!! Seriously, my single biggest parenting error to date was jumping all over the early signs of interest in the potty. Nightmare!!! My older son was 3.5 before he was potty trained. My younger one, I totally backed off, just gave lots of praise when he used the potty (and a few M&M's). Totally potty trained at 2.5. She might be ready, but definitely follow her lead because she is in control on this one!!

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Not to sound cryptic, but it's not about the age. You'll know when she's ready for the potty. I'd get all the items needed, put them where you plan on her using the potty and let her interest build.

Basically, don't start until she is practically initiating the process.

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