How Do You Get Ready with a Demanding Baby?

Updated on March 17, 2008
E.S. asks from Laguna Niguel, CA
9 answers

Not sure if this is the appropriate area for this question... My one-year-old (almost 13 months) son was taking two naps regularly, but now I have problems getting him to take even one. I'm not sure if it's due to his cold or his age (starting to outgrow needing two naps?), but I used to rely on that first morning nap to get ready for the day (getting dressed, brushing teeth, throwing on a little make up and doing something to hide my bed head hair - I had to switch to night showers after he was born). I was hoping that getting him out earlier in the day to do something really stimulating would help him sleep, but he won't even give me the chance to get dressed without screaming. He will play by himself, but only if he knows I am sitting there watching him. If I try to read a book, or like I said, get dressed, brush my teeth, etc... he starts whining which quickly turns into a tantrum if I don't pick him up. The other thing that happens is he will start getting into things he knows he's not supposed to because he knows he can get my attention that way. All in all, it usually takes three times longer to get ready when he's awake and by that time it's usually close to either his nap or snack time.

I also have tried getting up earlier than he does, but it usually backfires because the bathroom is close to his bedroom and he ends up waking up earlier because he hears me.

Any tips?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advice! And I agree he still needs his two naps. For the last couple of days I have just put him to bed within a couple of hours of waking and got ready while he cried. Yesterday he cried for an hour and finally fell asleep for an hour. Today he cried for about 20 minutes and has been asleep for about 40 minutes so far. *crosses fingers* I think I just stopped being as consistent as usual when he got sick. I let my feelings get in the way of what was really good for him (not to mention my husband and mother-in-law have been arguing with me for months about him only needing one nap. I know they're wrong, but sometimes I just get tired of arguing.) :) When he does go to one nap, I'll definitely be using some of the suggestions listed here. He hardly stays in his jumper for more than 5-10 minutes without fussing and his play pen has been folded up for months because he screams in it, but I will find a solution!

P.S. JUST FOUND OUT TODAY THAT HIS COLD HAS TURNED INTO AN EAR INFECTION. EXPLAINS THE SLEEPING PROBLEMS!

Featured Answers

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J.C.

answers from San Diego on

Have you ever tried those baby einstein videos? My aunt and uncle SWORE by them for their two children. Give it a try! :)

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H.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Here are a couple ideas:

- if you get ready in the bathroom, stick him in the tub with bubbles and toys, you're right there and you don't need to put a lot of water in the tub. I did this with my two girls. Heck make it even more fun for him by letting him wear a swim suit!
- give him a snack and strap him tightly into his highchair
- have your husband get him up and feed him breakfast while you get ready
- if after everything you try you are still not able to get ready... stick him in his crib... 15-20 minutes of crying isn't going to hurt him.

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

E.,
I used what I think they call the "Johnny Jumper". It was the jumping swing that you hang in a doorway.... Anyway, I was able to hang it in my closet doorway. From there he could see me in the shower and the rest of the bathroom while I was getting ready. It really helped because he could still be active by jumping, but couldn't get anywhere. We were able to keep an eye on eachother and I was able to keep him contained. Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Good thoughts and ideas from the previous respondents. Also it is probably due to "separation anxiety." Your boy is 1 now.... at this age their level of awareness and cognition changes, they are changing and even their "emotions" are developing as well... which can sometimes throw THEM for a loop, in addition to their Parent. They are experiencing more from their environment and are more interactive with it, and more emotions comes into play.
They are also beginning to learn about "boundaries" and such. Everything is new to them. Remember that.

Like the other's said, change your routine, or put him in an exersaucer etc. Sometimes just letting them "yell" won't doom them... the world will not end if they yell/tantrum. The tone of voice used to respond to a child makes a HUGE difference too... and it will be a "habit" that you "teach" your child to react to or not. Children learn by repetition and observing. Keep that in mind.

Your son not taking a nap could be because he is over tired, over stimulated, or going through a "phase." Kids this age need naps.... it even helps their brain development. At certain developmental phases, a child's sleep can be interrupted and change. Just try to lay him in the crib anyway at his regular nap time... let him be even if he protests...then within reason if he absolutely will NOT nap, then take him out. But continue with the same nap routine, so he knows the routine. And who knows, he may go back to napping. That's what my son did.
Good luck
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogo

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.,

I put my twin girls in their exersaucers w/ extra toys and some cheerios and they are happy as clams so I can get a shower. I also turn on a DVD (Baby Einstein, Sesame St, etc)for them.
Best,
E.

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E.L.

answers from Reno on

Well, I put my son next to me, sit down, and put my makeup on in my closet mirrors. I will give him toys, books, makeup tubes.... to occupy him. Do your hair the same way. It might take a few more minutes with him right next to you, but perhaps he will be satisfied enough with you right there not to throw a fit.... Brush your teeth in the kitchen before he wakes up.... MAYBE..... you could even set up a 'play area' in the bath tub with toys and fun stuff while you get ready... with a tiny bit of water, or no water at all..... Something my son LOVED was shaving cream in the tub. It would occupy him forever!!!!! being in the tub made for super easy clean up!!!! A few ideas.... hope some work for you!

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D.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

When my twins were your son's age, they were definitely still taking two naps--one in the morning and one after lunch in the afternoon. They did not transition out of that until around 18 months old when the morning nap was dropped.

I went back to work when they were two months old, so I had to work out my morning routine in order to get them ready, myself ready, drop them off at daycare and get to work by 8:30 a.m. It was hard, but I worked it out, especially since my husband was hardly ever there to help me. I put their swings in my bedroom and would usually put Baby Einstein on for them which they were enthralled with, and that worked really. I knew they were strapped in and safe so I could take a shower and blow dry my hair, etc. Sometimes I would have them in a bouncy/vibrating seat instead of the swings, and I would check on them from time to time. Most of the time they would fall asleep for a while.

When they got too big for those things, I had to start putting them in a Superyard in the middle of their bedroom for a bit. Of course sometimes they cried, but I knew they were okay, so I'd do what I had to do and keep checking on them. Of course none of these places I put them were where they could see me, and that can be hard, but they have to get used to not having you in their sight all the time, and with two babies at the same time, I just had to make it work.

If you can put him in some sort of apparatus where you can see him while you get ready, that would help a lot, but I'm telling you, the Baby Einstein DVDs helped us a LOT.

I hope you find something that works soon! Good luck.

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T.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.
I just went back to work and what has really helped me in the morning to get ready for work is having my husband take the baby as soon as he gets up. He gets up around 6:30-7am. My husband gets the baby before he goes to work and plays with him, changes his clothes and gives me enough time to get ready my self.

Maybe you can get your husband to help you in the morning before he goes to work

Do you have a play pen that he can stay in while you get ready? That is another option.

Good luck

T.

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N.L.

answers from Reno on

Phew, I do feel your pain. It's such a struggle. First of all, your son should still be taking 2 naps. I know that sometimes our little one's have different plans, but that transition to one nap shouldn't happen until 16-18 months. Anyway, do you have an exersaucer? Will your son play in that while you shower? I used to do that w/ my daughter. She often cried, but I knew she was safe. Now that my daughter is 18 months old I'm able to just lock her in the bedroom bathroom (one big open area) with me w/ some snacks and toys & it goes fairly well. When your son is older, depending on your bathroom layout, you may be able to do something like that. Keep your chin up. I know how difficult it is with a demanding/fussy child. Good luck!

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