How Do I Stop the Diaper Change Fights??

Updated on August 02, 2012
E.M. asks from Phoenix, AZ
18 answers

My son is 22 months, so he is obviously very active squirmy, etc. But he absolutely HATES having his diaper changed and throws an absolute fit almost every time. The worst is when he has a very messy diaper and he is kicking his legs like crazy while I am trying to clean him up, keep his feet out of the poo, and keep the dirty diaper from flying across the room! As soon as the diaper is on, he is fine. But my neighbors probably think that I beat him with the way he carries on during a change. Any suggestions? I have tried giving him a toy, sometimes that will work but more often it is just one more thing that might be flung and/or flung into the poo!!

ETA- Thank you, ladies!! Keep those suggestions coming, I will try anything!! Yes, he is starting to pee on the potty. But I totally messed up and rushed my first one, which backfired badly, so I am trying to be more patient this time around...lol... Thanks so much for the commiseration- it helps to know my kid isn't the only change-hater out there! I swear, he would rather sit in a dirty diaper all day than get a change :(

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Old school, a tap in the thigh with a stern "STOP" (repeat IF necessary) usually gets their attention.

5 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Sounds awful, but I did it like Queenofthecastle, too. No talking, all business, pinned him under my leg on the floor. Seemed to learn pretty quick it was gonna happen however hard he made it.

Does he show any signs of potty readiness?

Hope it's a short phase!

:)

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My squirmy toddler changing method is:

Put towel down on the floor.
Place raging toddler on towel.
Cross one leg beneath me
Sit down next to him & put my other leg across his body, over his belly button to act at a restraint. I don't put much pressure on him-just enough so he can't wiggle out.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

I will third the using my leg as a restraint method! My kids pretty quickly learned the harder they made it, the longer it took! :)

4 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Would asking him to "help" you make a difference? Kids that age feel like they can't control anything, so if they can control something, they tend to deal better.

Are there 2 places you could change him? Let him pick where. Let him pick which direction his head has to go. Let him pick if he can hold the wipes for you or the clean diaper, etc. Make him part of the process, and maybe he'll go for it. And explain to him that the more he helps, the faster you can do it and the faster he can get back to playing.

Maybe even make it a race to change him real fast - be dramatic about it. Make racecar noises as you pull down his pants, pull the velcro, wipe, etc. Be goofy and he may laugh his way through.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

Yeah, me too. I use the diapers that are more like pull-ups so I don't have to lay him on the floor every time. For poo diapers, I try a toy or a song and if that doesn't work, the back of my knee goes over his tummy and we just git-r-done.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

We started counting down. I count from 10, but whatever you need (slowly) and then after one comes "All done!" Of course, you HAVE to finish by then!

Although I wasn't sure what effect it would have, after doing it a couple of times, both of my kids were able to calm down while I was counting. I think they know that there is an end in sight. It seems to be sort of telling them that they only have to hold still for a limited time, which makes holding still easier for them. My daughter actually counts with me, and I haven't had to use much physical restraint at all.

Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

well since I'm 50 I came from the school of a sharp crack on the leg will be the end of the diaper fight lol. I didn't have these issues with my kids. but I also didn't give them nonstop choices / voiced opinions about things they didn't have a choice about lol.....

2 moms found this helpful
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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

Potty train! Lol..just kidding! But, seriously, my daughter did this too, and it was torture! I was SO happy she trained at 2 1/2, and to this day (she's 4) it was the EASIEST thing we've done so far! Anyway, you've gotten good advice, hang in there, and count down to.. No Diaper days! :)))

2 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Potty train, not kidding. You don't have to rush him, just be consistent...set out a potty, put him in trainers, take him every 15 - 20 minutes and he will eventually get it...I messed up by not cluing into my guy's cues he was ready. So much easier to wipe a bottom that isn't all smooshed with poo.

Otherwise, take his diaper off as he stands in the tub and wash him with soap and a washcloth, no toys or bubbles, but he'll get clean.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I haven't read the other posts, but does he have a fit about the diaper changes before you begin or once he's on the table or in position?

My first thought is that he doesn't want to stop what he's doing to get changed. Do you give a "warning" that you're going to change him? Sometimes those transitional signals help little ones at this age prepare for what's coming next... there's so little that they can control still, so scooping them up to change a diaper when they are engrossed in play can set them off like this... and they exercise control. Try saying something like, "Joe, I'm going to put the laundry in the dryer and when I get back we're going to change your diaper."

And of course distraction, distraction, distraction and redirection at this age....

2 moms found this helpful
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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

We do distraction........have a toy or game that he likes just for dipaer change time....we announce it is diaper change time....he runs.....I catch him......put him down on this little play mat we have in the living room....he protests....we give him the toy or another distraction and 8 out of 10 times it works - the other two times, I turn him around so his head is my lap - my arm across his body to prevent squirming and then it is literally a few seconds for a quick change...once my BIL was observing this process and was concerned as to why the LO hated the diaper change so much and even suggested that he may have been traumatized. I had to assure him that the only trauma that was invovled was that he wanted to constantly be on the move and not have to lie down :-)

2 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

With my youngest, when he was in this stage, if I put him on the floor to change him and he started a tantrum, I started a game with him where I pretended to squash him. I didn't put any weight on him and was basically just giving him a big (restraining) hug and acting silly with him before even trying to take the diaper off, but it was enough to snap him out of the grumpiness at the diaper change. I'm not sure if it's because I made it a game instead of all business or if it's because I was able to distract him from being angry quickly enough, but the tantrums pretty much stopped with diaper changes (unless I forgot to pretend to squash him first--which sometimes created a problem, especially if we were out somewhere or in a hurry :P).

2 moms found this helpful
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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I sing Itsy Bitsy Spider and other songs, in a very goofy animated manner, or start jumping around going "Oh! Oh! I have a tickle, do you have a tickle ..." and then tickle them too, pretend something is behind your ear, or some other goofy routine. Sometimes I do bubbles, etc. The stage lasts a few months. I also put a stool next to the changing table and say "Can you climb up yourself?" then of course lift her the rest of the way. It's really a control thing, they hate being laid/strapped down and if you give them some ownership, it may help.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

lots of good suggestions here...one thing I did was give my son the option to get changed on the floor or the table. I then worked with him to make a picture (it was a train track and a road and we made a little story with it). We then used the stickers that came off of the wipes refills to make "cars" and "train cars" on our drawing. The stickers are repositional so you can move them around.

I also had some success with changing him standing up.

Later the battles got so hard and he was ready to use the potty. Like very ready. (this was at 37 months and only needed a few days to get the hang of it) Have you seen signs of potty readiness?

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, if you've tried distracting, singing, whispering, speaking in French and wearing the classic big nose and glasses, try the "standing up change." That's what worked best for be when mine started to fight it.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from Phoenix on

I tell my daughter if she is till & quiet she gets a M&M,. ( I bought the mini ones ) it works abour 90 percent of the time

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm knocking on wood here, our son appears to be getting over his fits. If my husband is home, he keeps him busy making silly faces or tickling here and there. If he's not home, I turn on his favorite show and works like a light switch; he stops his fussing because he doesn't want to miss Sesame Street. If we're out and about I give him a toy, which doesn't always work.
Good luck.

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