House Work Expectations for a Working Mother

Updated on January 26, 2009
G.M. asks from San Jose, CA
8 answers

Hello,

I'm wondering how much house work should be expected to be able to get done while being a working mom and having a 20 month old. I work outside the home Monday through Friday, approximately 30 to 35 hours a week.

I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately (dealing w/ an out of town property & delinquent tenants = eviction/lawsuit) and have been struggling with finding balance in the last couple of weeks. I have begun to go to the gym once a week (baby steps -- it's been since before having my daughter that I've gone!) in the evening after my husband comes home. Although this alone has helped a little bit in terms of variation and doing something (good & healthy) for myself, I am still having difficulty finding the time and more so the energy to want to keep up w/ the daily house work, and thus resulting in a constant messy, cluttered and disorganized home. It seems like a constant struggle.

I really welcome any advice from any mom's out there. I realize that finding balance may be more challenging after becoming a mother, but am wondering if there are any words of advice/support.

Thanks so much in advance for you help,
G.

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C.L.

answers from Fresno on

I work full-time as a teacher and have a 23 month old and a baby due in March. My husband has always split the housework 50/50 with me. I think if you are working as much as him then why should the majority of the housework fall on you. My husband and I made a list of all the household duties and split them up based on what was easier for both of us. He also gives my daughter a bath everynight to give me a 20-30 minute break and my job is to put her to bed. When I am home all summer I try to do more housework since I have a lot more time.

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H.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Good Lord, I don't even "work" and I can't keep up with it all. Just do it when you can get to it. I tend to wash all my laundry, but putting it away is another story...So I make sure it is clean and sorted, and then when I am hanging out in the kids room, dive into that laundry basket that is always there and put away their clothes while we are playing, or while daddy reads bedtime stories. Unload the dishwasher while the kids are eating- always take dishes/laundry from the dishwasher/clean pile, that helps some too. Especially since you are working, you need to enlist your husband. I am a SAHM, but I tell my husband that while yes, I am in charge of keeping the housework up, I am NOT his personal maid, he can wipe a counter after himself, put his own dishes in the dihwasher, etc.
If you are working full time, hopefully you are not expected to also be a housekeeper full-time as well. If and when I go back to work, I will absoloutely hire a housekeeper!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

G.,

I know how hard it is to find a balance. Its a constant struggle for me too... What helped me is to get a routine down. Pick a few household tasks that are absolutely your highest priority and and schedule them on certain days. Start with those and forget the rest until you get that down. Try to set aside 20 minutes at the end of each day to pick up and get ready for the next day. Take advantage of any down time that you have--if you have any :) (being a mom is a 24 hr job and working outside the home just adds to it!!) I know its hard to sit and relax when you have lots to do, but its important that you don't get burned out. You have to take "me" time as well.The only way I have figured out how to get that is to schedule it in-- make it one of the top priorities. Good luck and remember, the housework will always be there- its more important for you to be there for your child and your spouse.

Molly

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L.M.

answers from Fresno on

G.,

This is VERY hard. I have a hard time keeping the house clean and I am a stay at home mommy with three small children. I found a website www.flylady.com it is very helpful in managing your time to clean but be careful if you subscribe you will get about 10 emails a day. Very overwhelming when you don't have that much time but if you read through her website you will get an idea of how she operates.

An example, she will send you an email that tells everyone go pick up 27 things and go throw them away. Then another email may tell you to find 27 things to donate, put them in a box and put that box in the car to donate when you are out. Pretty soon your house will be clutter free and you will have more time to spend with your family.

It is a neat website with lots of good advice. She preaches BABY STEPS. Your house didn't get messy in one day and it won't get clean in one day either so take Baby Steps.

Blessings, L.

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M.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I work PT and have 2 active boys. I tried to hire a house keeper, but they didn't clean as well as I did, so it wasn't worth it. Many days I just don't feel like cleaning, so I try to take one day (either Monday or Tuesday) and spend 1-2 hours cleaning (mostly floors and bathrooms, that I cannot do when my boys are awake). I do dishes, dust and laundry while my kids play or are watching TV. I use the swiffer duster and it only takes about 10 minutes to dust 3 or 4 rooms.
I dust every other week or when I have time. I also try to keep clutter to a minimum.
Junk mail gets recycle the same day it comes in.
I pay bills within a few days of them arriving.
Long term bills (taxes) I put a corkboard on the inside of a cabinet door to keep it handy but keep papers hidden.
Vacuuming gets done on an as needed basis - three times a week or once every two weeks.
I know 20 mo is still young, but I have a 3.5 and 21 mo and they help me clean up toys. If they don't I tell them I will put them in the garage and I get a trash bag and the toys they haven't put away will be taken away (usually for a few weeks).
I agree, unless you can take a day or two (like a whole weekend) and declutter, you need to do a bit at a time. I declutter a couple of times per year. I always look at things and see if I really need them or are they nice to have but taking up space?
Good luck.

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O.G.

answers from Sacramento on

i feel your pain. i have 2 childrena nd work full time. i have just recently hired a housekeeper that comes in every other week to do the major stuff that i just don't have time to get to like the floors and bathroom. it helps so mucha and if you look at your time the $100 a month is really worth every penny. before the housekeeper i would just tidey up durnign the week after the kids go to bed and then spend my weekends cleaning good luck and finding a good balance this is always a strugle

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S.B.

answers from Sacramento on

yes, Flylady will change your life!!! I've been flying since my daughter was born almost 4 years ago and I've slowly integrated routines and use the tools etc. My life is much more managable.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

If you can afford it, hire someone to do the big stuff. It's too much work for one person.

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