Help with 6 Year Old in the AM

Updated on September 01, 2009
T.B. asks from Spring, TX
16 answers

We need any suggestions to get our 6 year old boy to follow his morning routine. He has ADHD and is on meds for it. He sleeps all night and has no problem getting up. But to get him to get dressed and eat then brush his hair and teeth has become a battle. A losing one at that. We have him pick his cereal so we are not forcing him to eat what we chose. I have a chart with the morning routine and times. He has a digital clock so that he can match up the times with the chart. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. We are going to try the timer and reward on a weekly basis. Keep your fingers crossed.

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A.R.

answers from Houston on

Try this: www.childrensmiraclemusic.com

We've been using it for about a year and it has worked wonders for me and my kids.

A.
www.CreateHeritage.com

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R.B.

answers from El Paso on

Hi T.,

I'm working with my little ones on a morning routine and so far what I have done that seems to be helping is...

They pick and lay out their outfits before bed
They get to pick the kind of Toothpast they use
I pick what they get for breakfast.

You may want to try letting him pick the order he does things in and let him make the chart. He may even like it if you let him make your chart and you have to do it for a few days.

Good luck, boys are hard enough and with ADHD on top of that you really have to have patience.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Killeen on

Hi, mornings can be difficult I have a 6 and 4 year old. I was tired of nagging and feeling frustrated. I came across a bed time card system which (found on Onestepahead.com under the >3 section.) we then took the idea a modified it for the morning routine. It was fun for the kids to draw pictures, cut and paste pictures they found in magazines etc. which corresponded to the task neede to be completed in the morning. I then laminated all the sheets and put magnets to the back of the picture. I took a simple magnet board, hung it so that all pictures could be seen. Once the task was done they were put in a basket. If all tasks were not complete they could visualize what needed to be done. Now we don't need the cards but everyone once in a while we take them out to review if we are having a bad week with things not getting done. Lastly we had a jar which we place those plastic toy coins if all tasks done without prompting/prodding then they would get a coin for every task. At the end of the week we would count them up and decide upon a fun thing to do. Not necessarily a toy but once in awhile they would want something like that and we would work towards that goal. They have learned that if they didn't do what was expected daily then at the end of the week we were just not able to do fun things. (no coins in the jar) The jar works great with chores too. I don't believe that children should earn an allowance for things expected but they do need incentive.
We have made cards for the different chores which each child can do. Each chore card has a value. As long as they do the chore correctly and without prompting they get the number of coins as designated on the chore sheet. This idea is great for kids, it gives visual cues, commitment and everyone has a lot of fun. I know there is more information than you asked for but it works and routine and chores are a lot less of a hassle. There is a reward and consequences. I hope this helps. Modify for your family.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Houston on

I have only one suggestion, and that is to have him go to bed in the clothes he will wear the next day. That way, he won't be so overwhelmed by all the things he has to do. Best of luck, and God Bless.

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

This sounds a lot like our morning. My daughter is 6 and also has ADHD. We have given up on breakfast at home, she eats when she gets to school after her meds have kicked in. All I have to do is get her up and dressed and hair brushed. We pick out clothes the night before to cut down on trouble in the morning. On days we are running late, I give her Instant Breakfast. They have lunch at 10:50, so this seems to be enough to get her through till then. Good luck!

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L.N.

answers from Houston on

Is he on meds? If so, the best thing I've found is to have my son set an alarm 15 minutes early, take his meds (on bedside table with bottle of water) and then wake him (second alarm or snooze) 15 minutes later. If not on meds, I think I'd try it anyway.. just set snooze for 15 minutes and allow him one "hit". Good luck.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

2 of my 3 boys have ADHD. One is great in the morning- rarely an issue. His brother, on the otherhand is a different matter. What I do is wake him up 15 minutes earlier than anyone else. This way, he can wake up, get dressed and be downstairs before his brothers. I also gave him the order that he has to be downstairs by a certain time (he is 11) or he pays $1 from his allowance. This has worked and made our mornings much less of a fight. He has the time to daudle and still get out the door on time. We also give both omega 3 supplements.

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A.

answers from Houston on

From what I've gathered, kids with ADHD can really only handle a few directions at a time. I saw this on a show awhile back:

I love the idea you have already in place with the chart and the digital clock. Maybe something else would triger his senses. What about adding these things to your chart. Cut out pictures of all those things that you listed is part of his routine, or maybe take a picture of him doing it when he does do it, or make those pictures together as an art project. (I like the idea of the actual hand clock as oppose to the digital since they will have to learn the manual clock soon in school) Then put a picture of the clock next to each item: 7:00am brush teeth, 7:05 put pants on, ect. Also, as an added stimulus, you might want to place a bell somewhere within reach (like the bells you ring when you walk into a business and you need service). This will be his small reward, when he's done with one step, he gets to ring the bell which shows his completion of the step. Do it as a game. Lets say he gets everything done before the alotted time, you put a marble/bean/toy car whatever sparks his interest, into a jar. Lets say one marble per minute he is done early. When the jar is full, you reward him with a special outing, extra piece of cookie, putt putt golf, movie night where he gets to pick out the movie, extra board game time with dad, whatever. It can be small or big. Kids at this age don't really know the difference they just want the extra attention.
But sounds like you are already doing what I would do.

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K.A.

answers from Houston on

Hi T., I have dealt with ADHD, & bipolar for years. The oldests set the pace, now 17. Keep on it with a morning routine and setting up as much as you can the night before for them and you. Have yourself ready before them so that you are free to move them along, help out, detangle messes, etc. Reminders as the morning is progressing, "how's it going Baby", "need help with your hair", "10 mins to breakfast, next person in bathroom, or to go". I always woke them up with a 5-10 min heads up, til time to get up, still do. The one 17 now gets up at 4 am so that he does not have to deal with anyone in the am for the bathroom. He lays back down, ready to go, and just give him a 5-10 reminder and he is good to go. He chose to wake & ready this way himself when he got to HS. I guess more than anything, keep the routine with lots of positive reminders, they will get there. Even the 11 yo will say some mornings, I did good today I have some time! Then she can do something she enjoys. It won't happen overnight, but your child will get there. Hang cool, tough, & calm. And yes I always have worked full time, plus extra jobs to make the budget meet.

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W.T.

answers from Austin on

Oh my can I EVER relate! My soon to be 8 year old son (2nd grade) has the SAME issues. Sleeps well but mornings are a disaster!!! I cannot offer a great deal of help but am here if you ever want to bounce ideas off of someone in the same boat. I did get a set of large sand timers (1,3,5,10 minutes) from the Teacher supply in the Arboretuem near TJ Maxx. They help him to visualize time better. He is also very motivated by $ so I am going to institute a chart in which the financial incentives are tied to basic morning routine ie; teeth, being on time, dressing, being prepared for school the night before ect...I kno ehow awful it is to start your day and your childs day that way! Its also terribly upsetting to the rest of the household. Blessings!

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K.A.

answers from Austin on

I had ADD as a child and the best thing my mother ever did for me was to get a little timer. Each chore or task was allotted a certain amount of time and then the timer went off and it was time to get on to the next task. It was a visual reminder so that I wouldn't spend a half hour staring at a wall when I was supposed to be brushing my teeth.
Good Luck.

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B.M.

answers from Houston on

We have an 8-year old daughter recently diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) but are still researching to find a good doctor to prescribe meds. It sounds like you are doing everything that we have done with respect to clocks and charts. I read that ADHD kids benefit from reminders like charts, etc., except we still have difficult mornings. Like your son, sleeping through the night and waking up in the mornings aren't the chore, it's getting her to focus on getting dressed/hair brushed/teeth brushed versus making toys out of plastic hangars, stopping to pick fuzz from the carpet, or constantly talking to her sister (or herself). Granted, our "bad" mornings are fewer than before but some days are just--difficult. Our daughter's alarm clock goes off 20 minutes before everyone else to allow her extra time but I still have to make 3 or 4 trips to her room or the bathroom to monitor her progress. Getting up earlier is the only other option I can offer you, but that might not be practical for a 6 year old. I guess my post isn't really helpful other than to let you know that we are sympathetic and know exactly what you are going through. You're not alone.

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L.M.

answers from Houston on

When do you give him his meds? You might try giving them very first thing in the morning. Maybe even waking him up about 15 mins early, take the meds, then give him a little free time until it is time to start the routine. That way, the medication has a chance to get into his system and start its job. Make sure he drinks plenty of water. Keeping the brain hydrated helps tremendously with ADHD.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

My 4yo is going through a phase where it just takes him forever to get anything done! We just call it spring fever. He goes through this each spring, so we're used to it.

This year we have started using the kitchen timer. He gets to set it for the amount of time we allot for each thing to be done. If he gets everything done in the time allotted, he has extra time to do something he wants. If not, then he doesn't have time to do what he wants. This works great at bedtime because he has now decided he wants to play a game before stories/bed. Same thing with chores when we get home in the evening- he has so much time to feed the cats, be sure his things are put away, then he can go play. If he doesn't have things done in the proper time, he does not have much time to play b/c it's close to dinner or getting dark.

While we do have digital clocks all over the house, the visual reminder of the time going down and then the audio reminder from the alarm- not us nagging him- a lot! It also teaches him self-motivation (he's really into racing with everything right now!) and calms our nerves because we're not constantly pushing him to get on with it.

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T.K.

answers from Austin on

Sometimes it really isn't worth the battle. Does he need to brush his hair? My brother used to sleep in the clothes he was wearing the next day. I have a nine year old who moves as slow as molasses in the mornings. Sometimes he just has to eat buttered waffles in the car. Many days he goes to school and his hair is sticking straight up. I do try to make sure he gets his teeth brushed. He has to wear a uniform which makes dressing easy. Be happy I have a 24 year old daughter also, she was much more difficult.

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M.S.

answers from Houston on

As a mother of a 1st grader, 7 y/o boy I can totally relate. His first 3 years of school (private) he was tardy at least half of the time. Now, I will tell you I blame that mostly on his father and me. This is why: Our son is a riot to be around! We love him and want to be with him. That turns into going to bed too late. For all of us. I have MS and I MUST get as much sleep as a child needs to be able to wake up normally in the A.M.

In the middle of last school year, dad and I talked about the seriousness of eating on time, homework on time, and getting to bed no later than 8:30pm to wake up at 7am. It was hard. It means that some days I feed my child before the rest of us ate dinner (dad sometimes gets home at 7pm). We do not watch TV at all or do computer games on school nights (unless a special treat for extra good whatever, and then still regular bedtime).

This year, he has started POPPING UP out of bed, putting on his clothes and eating breakfast. He now gets the reward of being able to watch Disney Channel in the morning before time to leave for school if he is all ready (hair, shoes, backpack, etc finished). Now, we get fun MORNING time together and some nighttime family time.

Good luck!

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