Help! We Need Sleep.

Updated on March 31, 2008
A.W. asks from Edwards, CO
60 answers

HI there, I have an 11 month old happy and super active son. Only problem is that he still won't sleep through the night. he goes down like clockwork every night between 6:30 and 7 pm. But he gets up once during the night, at either 1 am or 3 am and downs a 6-8 ounce bottle. We have tried the crying it out, comfort without picking him up thing, and countless other tactics, we did devote a good week to two weeks to each and none of them have worked. He is in daycare 5 days a week and is not the greatest eater at school so I do think he truly is hungry in the middle of the night. Once we give him the bottle he goes right back to sleep and sleeps until 7 am. I am just worried that we are setting ourselves up for disaster for future sleeping habits. Sometimes I feel like such a failure because other moms like to "brag" about how great their kids sleep and I can't seem to get us on track. Any advice would be much appreciated

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone who took the time to email in a response. The feedback was overwhelming and much appreciated. We are going to try to the water down, less and less formula approach and see how it goes. Thanks also for those who just sent emails telling me to hang in there, that made me feel great! Think spring!! I live in the mountains and I am ready for some sun!

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R.P.

answers from Pocatello on

I've heard of mothers (so I actually haven't tried this) that decrease the amount of food by one ounce every three nights or so until their child started sleeping through their mid-night meal

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M.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My kids have all taken a long time to sleep through the night. My oldest was 3 years old before she slept through the night. She would sleep through the night for about one month and I would think, "Yeah! She's finally sleeping through the night!" And then she'd start waking up 1-2 times a night. My second didn't take quite as long, but I think she was at least 18 months and my littlest is 22 months and is still not consistantly sleeping through the night...so, don't let all the BRAGGY mom's get to you. It's their kids who are NOT NORMAL!!! LOL!
It definitely wears on you! I know I do not get enough sleep. I just keep hoping it will happen soon.
Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

My first thought is maybe to keep him up a little later with a bottle just before (15 min or so) you put him down. When my kids were about 10 months old I changed their bedtime to 7:30 or 8 and that worked well for both of them. Hope that helps!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I have 7 kids and I can tell you not a single one slept through the night until 2. All of them woke up at least once for a cup or bottle, whichever they were using. The parents who brag have most likely used the CIO method and had a stronger resolve, it works for some but not all children will go for it, I am also on the side that it is cruel, they are growing so much in the first years that I also believe when they wake up they are hungry or uncomfortable. Your sons schedule sounds really good to me, can you just hand him his bottle and go back to bed? Thats what I have done for my kids so my interruption is less at night, just a thought good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Denver on

Hello, although I dont have any advice since my son is almost 2 and still wakes up in the night I just wanted to say who cares what other moms say. I truly believe all kids are different. My daughter was a horrible sleeper till about 4 then she would sleep all night and never a problem again. The way I look at it is, whether I am "doing the right thing or not" this is temporary and although exhausting now will end. They grow so fast and before you know it your first little guy will be going off to school. So just try looking at it this way so you dont get sleep lets say 3 years out of 80 if you live that long so whats the big deal. It is a short spell in the scheme of things. I try to just enjoy all the rocking and put back to beds and rubbing the back because before long they wont need it. Im sure that didn't help but it helps me get through. My daughter is now 9 and I cant believe it nor can I remember the times she didn't sleep. In fact I had to go back and read in her baby-book to refresh my memory that she too was a bad sleeper but just like child birth you move on because that is not the focus of your joy. Good luck and I will pray both of us gets some sleep soon. Happy Easter.

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A.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Kids set their own schedule for sleep. You could try keeping him up a little later but chances are pretty good that he will still wake up at 1 am. You can try to give him his bottle & rock him back to sleep...leaving off as many lights as you can. As parents you could switch off nights so that each of you gets a full night every other day. Eventually he may (for no apparent reason at all) just start sleeping through the night, or wake up & then fall back to sleep on his own after he gets a whole lot older. I know other parents may say let em cry but I never did. I always went to check on them & rocked them back to sleep. I just got less sleep. Good luck to you & don't forget your family. If they are close enough to help see if they can give you a night off once in a while.

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J.A.

answers from Pocatello on

I suggest first of all to sit down with your husband and go over your finances. See if you can cut back -- cable, cell phones, caller ID -- so you can stay home with your son. Any material sacrifice is worth it. As wonderful as daycare seems, I think it's a contributer to what seem to be unrelated problems. Also, try keeping your son up until 8 or 9 and then put him down with a full tummy. Good luck.

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C.W.

answers from Denver on

You might try giving him a small bowl of "healthy" cereal before he goes to bed at night. That might hold him through till morning.

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N.N.

answers from Provo on

You sound like youre doing a great job meeting his needs. Don't worry about future sleeping habits, they really do grow up and sleep=) My son who is now 2 used to wake up once a night for a bottle and we'd give it to him. As he got a little older it happened less and less. Now he sleeps all night (usually 10-12 hours) without needing anything. I agree that perhaps a later bed time with a full stomach might make a difference. Good Luck!

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J.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hello A.!

Well I am one of the blessed ones! Sorry, I know you do not want to hear that anymore, but my daughter did go thru a stage where she woke during the night. Here is a few hints that seem to work for her. She does not go to sleep until 8:00. Your bed time may be too early. She has milk before she goes down (she is 12 months) and sleeps thru until 6:30-7. I am not sure how the daycare is but maybe making sure they are offering him enought formula or milk during the day. If he does not eat then he may want some other alternative. He more than likly is hungry but you need to find a way to get to eat more (food or formula/milk).

It was all in how my daughter was with her routine. She wanted to go to bed earlier and I did not want her too. She takes a morning nap (1 hour) and then she takes an afternoon nap (2 hours). Sometimes these vary but for the most part that is about what she does. I am not a stay at home mom (wish I was) so my daughter is in daycare as well. At night you may want to give him more to compensate for loss during the day. I have some really good recipes from a bood and from a web site (very easy) and it may intrest his hunger. Email me if you are interested.

Other than that, you are doing everything right. Does he get a bath at night? That may help to. Johnsons lavender and camamile bedtime lotion seems to sooth my daughter. Hang in there you are doing great! Let me know how it goes.

J. S :)

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M.O.

answers from Denver on

My daughter is no where near that age but massage is what got her to sleep longer. Maybe try that. If he really is hungary try putting all of the stuff for a bottle next to your bed so you can just give it to him and crawl back into dream land. He is growing, and probably needs to eat a lot right now. Don't deprive him of the food if he needs it.

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N.S.

answers from Great Falls on

I remember that time quite well. My twins went through the very same thing around 6 -8 months old. It seemed to me that they were ALWAYS hungry, right before bed and sometime during the night. If you're sure your baby is hunugry, try giving your sone a little rice cereal mixed in with his formula/milk. I's been almost 9 years since I've done the baby thing, but look around and see if there are bottle with cereal nipples or tops. They have bigger holes in the tip to get the cereal through. But, make sure it's still pretty thin, only about a tablespoon of cereal to an 8 oz. bottle. Also, if he's holding spoons and mouthing cherios or such, then he may be ready for a little thicker cereal milk mix, the nice thing is when you introduce the cereal, you can mix it with milk so he has a familiar taste to go with the new texture. Once my boys were getting about a cup of glue thick cereal at bedtime, they slept ALL night through. And forget about what your doc says about your baby being too young. Only you know what your baby's interests and needs truly are. Chances are your boy just needs something a little more substantial to get through the night. Good Luck

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M.E.

answers from Denver on

The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" helped us with our son. He's now 3 and naps and sleeps great. I highly recommend this book. We still reference it when we run into bumps.

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E.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have a 4 month old and what I find works for him is that he takes a "nap" between 7-9pm at 9-10 I wake him up to feed him so he can sleep the whole night. It has worked great for us and we enjoy sleeping in every morning. He usually wakes up at 7am.

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S.B.

answers from Boise on

Hi A.,
All kids are different and sleep differently. My first slept through the night almost immediately then my second was up every few hours till he was 9 mo and my youngest didn't sleep through the night till he was 1.
My suggestion would be to try to keep him up later and feed him before he does go to bed that may help him to sleep longer.
I will say that all my kids went to bed with a sippy cup (i know not exactly the right thing to do) of water so if they woke up they had something right near them. But that was more of a comfort issue than anything else for them.
It will change with time even though right now it may seem never ending to you. One day you will look at your son and he will be 10 and you will wish for these days back.
It does get better..

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A.P.

answers from Pocatello on

Many babies in this age group consume 25% of their calories at night. If you think your baby is hungry, you need to feed him. It's very dangerous (psychologically) to compare babies... listen to your baby, and know that all babies sleep through the night eventually. If it isn't hunger that awakens them, it's teeth growing in! Be happy your little one goes right back to sleep. :)

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N.N.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.,

I don't have any advice because I'm in the EXACT same boat. We also have an 11-month-old son who follows your son's sleeping pattern. I don't know what to do either. I've kind of given in. I just wanted you to know you're not the only one!

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C.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I believe you may be right about him being hungry in the night if he goes right back to sleep afterwards.
Have you tried keeping him up a little later and feeding him more food before going to bed?

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

You need to keep him up until 8 or 9pm and THEN put him down. He'll sleep later and wake up early at 6am or so.

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K.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Try waking him around 10 for a feeding, just before you go to bed, even if it's not as much as he would normally eat. That should get him through the night until morning and give you a break to sleep through the night

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H.P.

answers from Springfield on

Hi,

We had the same problem. Here's what worked for us: Earlier bedtime, full milk bottle before bedtime, and if he does wake during the night, give him water instead of milk (maybe try to water down the milk at first then wean him off it). Then take away water bottle after a week or so and gently pat him back to sleep (or hold him then put him back down). Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.. We are having the same problem with our 11 month old. I am a stay-at-home mom and she is still waking up, so don't feel bad that you are away from him. Nothing has really worked for us either. Good luck!

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E.T.

answers from Denver on

My son just turned a year on March 7, and he follows exactly the same schedule, except that he wakes up between 4 and 5 am usually. Which, as several other moms have pointed out -- is 8 or 9 hours of sleep -- which qualifies as a full night in adult terms. I know can't go much longer than that -- certainly not 12 hours -- without waking up really hungry (not that I've had the opportunity to sleep in in the last year!)

I know that my son is truly hungry, not just engaging in a habit or behavior, because I still nurse, although I don't have a lot of milk left. If he's just comfort-nursing and I run out milk -- he keeps nursing. But when he wakes up at 4 am and I run out of milk -- he is frantic for more.

I've thought about moving his bedtime by an hour or two, but his 6:30 wake-up call is perfect for our 8 to 4 daycare schedule. We don't have to rush, and I have time to feed him breakfast at home before we go.

So, I try to feed my son as big of a dinner and pre-bed bottle as possible. And I have a back-up bottle ready in the fridge to warm up if I don't have enough breast milk in the middle of the night.

And don't let the "other moms" influence what works best for your child. There is no one right or wrong for each of the billions of kids in this world. Your little guy sounds like a healthy, growing little boy who knows exactly what he needs.

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

This is how we got my daughter to ween off of a night time bottle. It was explained to me that if you were to get up at the same time every night and have a snack, you would continue to wake up hungry at that time every night. Like programming. Obviously he won't go cold turkey, so water down the formula. He will be a little grumpy the first few times, but then he will adapt. The first time give him the same amount of water and half the amount of formula. Then after a day or two, water it down half again. Then half again, etc... Eventually he is waking up for just water. Your stomach doesn't get hungry for the water, so once he is used to that he shouldn't be waking up hungry anymore. It really worked with our daughter. It does take a few days once he is just on water, out of habit for him, but soon the hunger won't wake him up and he will sleep through it.

Good luck!

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H.R.

answers from Denver on

It wasn't until my daughter was 11 months that she began sleeping through the night. To get rid of the bottle I decreased the amount of formula in it by an ounce every night or every other night. She didn't seem to notice the decrease in milk, which made me believe it wasn't a hunger issue. When we got down to one ounce she would still go right back to sleep. I then used Ferber to get through the crying once the bottle was done. I tried everything else before Ferber because at first I was against the cry it out method. I read his book in full before doing it, which I recommend. It took about a week but I am so glad I stuck with it - it was the best thing I ever did for both my daughter and I. Now she is a beautiful sleeper and has no problems with going back to sleep on her own if she wakes up in the middle of the night or during a nap.

Good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Cheyenne on

With the expection of one of my children (I have four) none of them actually sleep through the night until they were about 20 months old. My Three year old still at least once a week will still wake up in the middle of the night. I don't necessarily think you are setting up a bad habit for him. You said that he goes right back to sleep after drinking a bottle. Maybe try feeding him more or after supper feeding him a light snack before he goes to bed. Putting him down a little later might also help. Instead of 6:30 try 7:30.

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B.R.

answers from Denver on

Hi there. We have exactly the same problem right now. I have ten month old twin boys, and just like your son, they go to bed between 6:30 & 7, get up to eat once, and sleep until between 6:30 & 7 in the morning. We have tried to let them cry, too, but they do seem genuinely hungry. Occasionally they would get up again after being fed, and we have just let them cry then. They go back to sleep, so I really feel like the earlier time is that they are truly hungry.

Our pediatrician said that because their bedtime is so early that they probably are hungry since a lot of kids their age generally go to bed a little bit later and get another bottle just before bed (our kids don't). Our guys have become better eaters, but are not great.

I guess we are just hoping that as they get older they will be more able to go through the night without eating. Our next step will be to lessen the amount of formula they get in the night. Right now they get six ounces, so I think we will lessen it little by little to see if they can still get through the night on less, and then eventually none at all. Unfortunately, our pediatrician has not been terribly helpful, but at least he has said that it is not entirely unusual. I'm tired though. I am sure you are, too. Good luck.

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think moms who brag about their kids sleeping through the night...okay, so I'm a little jealous too. :P. however, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You can always get your baby to stay awake during the day more. That's what I'm working on. And remember, things take time, like sometimes months.

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L.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

i heard that babies get used to routines. do you give him a bottle before he goes to sleep? and is that how he falls asleep? if so that might be what happens when he wakes up in the night, he might not know how else to fall asleep. most of us humans wake up in the night, including babies, if they are used to going to sleep on their own without a bottle, or being fed, they can do it when they wake up in the night. I don't know if this is the case with your baby, but maybe you need to work on your going to bed routine instead of the middle of the night one.

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M.B.

answers from Grand Junction on

I wouldn't worry too much about permanent sleep problems. I have 5 children and all of them never learned to sleep throught the night while they were infants but once they hit 2, some even earlier, they could sleep through the night fine and fell asleep on their own. One suggestion, 6:30 seems a little early. If you count the hours that he is really sleeping if he is waking up at 1:00 or 3:00, he is almost getting 8 hours or more of sleep a night. Possibly try putting him to bed at a later hour, this may help you get some more sleep because he wont be waking up while you are still trying to get your eight hours of sleep.

If you believe he is waking up only for the milk try offering him only water; he may not be interested in the water and eventually will not wake up for that either. You could make sure that he is getting a good dinner if he is eating cereal or solids before he goes to bed this may help to keep the hunger at bay during the night.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Have you tried this one? Each night or every couple of nights, reduce the amount in the bottle by 1 oz or even 1/2 ounce. He will not notice the small change in milk if you do it gradually. And as he gets a little bit less each night, he will gradually eat a little more during the day to compensate if he needs to. Many kids, by the time you get down to just an ounce or two just stop waking up for it because they're not getting enough nourishment in the night to worry about it. And if they do continue to wake up, then at least you can try some other kind of crying it out, ferberized, no cry or whatever method - without worrying that they "need" that nourishment in the middle of the night. By that time - they're not getting enough to worry about. It gives you some peace of mind. This has worked really well for me - might be worth a shot!!! Good luck!!!

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J.D.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.-
Not sure what mommies you are talking to, but ignore it. For as many friends you have that brag about their babies sleeping, you have twice that who quietly suffer through sleep issues. My daughter is a year & wakes up briefly about 3 times a night to lean in (we co-sleep) and eat a bit. She's in daycare 3 days a week and I think when babies are away from their mommies a lot, they need that extra reassurance--even at night. Hang in there, you're doing a great job. Your son will grow out of it and give you other things to worry about. :)

I also wanted to add that several people said to keep the baby up later. I took at sleep class with a sleep expert and she said studies have shown just the opposite--that if you put them to bed earlier, they actually sleep longer (after an adjustment period). She said no child younger than 10 should go to bed regularly much after 7:30. Obviously every child is different, but you'll hear a lot of parenting advice and it's not always true. Best of luck!

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A.B.

answers from Denver on

try giving him some milk before bedtime, brush teeth, then send him to bed with a sippy cup of water... only offer him water the next couple of nights if he still wakes up and show him that it is right next to him... all children wake in the middle of the night, it is hard to find what might make them able to put themselves back to sleep. the water trick has worked with my 2 girls (now 3 and 7)

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D.S.

answers from Billings on

You are not setting yourself up to have a horrible sleeper. Kids will sleep through the night when they are ready. If he is eating that much and not just a little bit, then I say he is really hungry, and he needs that bottle. I'm not a fan of cry it out, especially if a child is hungry. I know I'd hate it if I didn't get to eat when I was hungry, even if it was in the middle of the night, why do we expect it from babies? If YOU are ok with him still having it, I say keep giving it to him. You'll know when it is more habit than hunger when he starts eating less. Maybe try giving him a good snack before bed, some yogurt, or something like that, it may fill him up more than just a bottle.
Don't let other parents bragging make you feel like a failure or that you are doing something wront. In my experience, if one parent brags about something, there is something they are struggling with or will struggle with in the future. So while someone might say how good their child sleeps, maybe that child is going to be really hard to potty train. NO child is perfect!
And don't let a doctor tell you that you are doing anything wrong either. I know you are probably tired, but in my opinion, it is a lot easier (and faster) to just give them the bottle and get to sleep sooner. You are not going to damage him in anyway by letting him eat at night.

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H.W.

answers from Provo on

A.,

Don't worry. Every child is different. My daughter had night and day completely mixed up. Now she sleeps so soundly and I have a hard time waking her up for school. Try and see if you can put him to bed a little later. I know a few moms who put all their kids to bed at 7:30, but if I did that, my kids would be up at 5:00 am. All kids are different. Don't compare yourself. You just do what is best for your family.

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T.P.

answers from Denver on

Hello A., If you find reading supportive, I recommend, "Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep," by Dr William Sears. You also might be interested in all the ideas presented in Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution." She is big on everyone (including you!) being satisfied with your family's sleeping arrangements.

My girls have always needed and wanted care in the night, sometimes more and sometimes less, depending on what is going on for them. We are just as sensitive to their needs at night as we are to their needs in the day. There will be a day when they will not ask for our help anymore and I will look back at our nightime interactions with a warm heart. Enjoy. ~T.

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M.M.

answers from Great Falls on

Dear A., your son is doing great! This mom's work is not always a total comfort, this is true, but think what could be 'worse': when my sons were 1 and 3, they still both woke up at night AT DIFFERENT TIMES, and I got up about 5 times per EVERY night. I was so exhausted, I could probably sleep even standing up if but nobody bugged me for half an hour.
Now, the 'bad' new for 11 months old dear treasure are, that he becomes teething, and as long as his teeth are growing, especially those bigger ones in the back, he will probably start waking up even more often. If I were you, I'd agree with getting up but once to feed my son, but when teeth hurt the gum, that is worse. What I did in those cases, is I used honey, as the old wise people taught me. I just tipped the pacifier into the honey (get a REAL one), a tiny little tip, and this calmed the boys down, when I did not wait when they start crying, but caught the first whining moment.
Please, do not get upset that your situation does not fit into what other moms say: each and every child is UNIQUE and there is no way that we would all make it similarly. Enjoy the days, and sleep as much as you can at night, and Happy Easter to you and your family, A.!

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M.S.

answers from Denver on

I've discovered that what ever method you use to put the baby to sleep at night is how they expect to be soothed back to sleep when they wake up. So I'm guessing that you probably give him a bottle at bed time and then when he wakes up in the night he wants the bottle to go back to sleep. My suggestion is to give him his bottle before the bedtime routine. then try reading some stories with him and then put him in his crib drowsy but awake. You can have his favorite bedtime songs playing to add to the routine if you want. then you say good night and leave so that he can put himself to sleep. Don't go back in until morning at an acceptable wakeup time. The first two or three nights he might cry a lot and he will probably still wake up in the night but he will know that he has to sooth himself back to sleep because that's how he fell asleep in the first place. After a few nights he should be sleeping through the night. This method has worked with both of my boys and my neice. My second son is very stuborn and was able to cry for 3 hours during the night when I tried to let him cry it out without changing the bedtime routine. Once I tried letting him sooth himself to sleep without me nursing him right before bed he stopped getting up in the night and if he did he could easily sooth himself to sleep with little or no help from me.

Good luck,
Julie

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

A. - I just had to respond to your last concern (about being a horrible parent)
Please please don't compare yourself to other moms, or your child to other kids. Every child is unique and every child has different development rates and strengths and weaknesses. Having a child who sleeps through the night or potty trains at 2 or reads before kindergarten are not neccessarily signs of a good parents, and a child who doesn't 'excel' in all thesse things or others doesn't mean there's a bad parent.
A good parent is concerned for her child, loves him regardless of all, and rejoices in his uniqueness. I have the feeling that you do all this (simply because you are concerned and are trying to look at the whole picture and his needs as well as yours)
Be patient, love your little guy, and remember, these other moms probably have frustrations just like you.

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L.B.

answers from Pocatello on

Hello sleep deprived...
I don't have the 'one thing' that will work but a few suggestions: Does he take bottles during the day? If so, maybe try cutting one so that he will eat more dinner, then his belly will be more full. I have noticed with my two boys, one of them 18 months, they go through growth spurts when they are just hungry! So maybe put a sippy cup or bottle (if you have to) in his crib before you go to bed...then when he wakes up he will hopefully find it himself, drink and go back to sleep. I don't know, I have had trouble with mine off and on and I know what it feels like to get to the point of 'whatever it takes'. Trust me though, he will grow out of this! I promise!

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A.T.

answers from Denver on

My daughter is on the exact same sleep schedule. She goes down around 7 and wakes up in the wee hours for a bottle. Her big sister was the same way, whereas my oldest slept 12 hours straight at 3 mos. Anyhow, sounds like little man is just hungry. Once he gets a little older and is eating lots of solids, he'll start sleeping through the night. It's really common for lots of babies to wake up once during the night to eat.

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S.S.

answers from Great Falls on

Didn't read through all the responses so not sure if this is a repeat. May want to try feeding him something at 7 when he goes down. Oatmeal works great with lots of kids. It seems to stick with you for a long time and can last through the night. He may not get hungry in the middle of the night anymore.
Good Luck. And I wouldn't say you're a failure. It's nothing your doing that is making him wake up. Who cares what another baby is doing. Every child is different just keep loving him and you'll do fine.

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J.C.

answers from Provo on

You may want to think about moving his bed time to a little later. You are not getting a full night sleep but 6:30 - 1 is 6 1/2 hours and if he sleeps till 3 that is over 8 hours of sleep. If you just adjust the hours a little you can be one of those moms who brag. Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.,

I once read somewhere that sleeping through the night was 6 hours at a time. By that calculation, your son IS sleeping through the night. Personally, I don't think that you are setting yourselves up for bad future habits. Based on results, (going right back to sleep and happy during the day) this is what he needs right now. From personal experience, my older kids slept without waking starting at about 2. Not great for YOUR sleep schedule right now, but it shouldn't last for long. Besides, do you know how many parents (myself included) who would love to have a child who goes to bed like clockwork at 7 pm? That is a blessing!

A.

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T.T.

answers from Denver on

That was my son, too. We just let him have that bottle and he grew out of it. He had that early morning bottle until he was about 15 months old. I know...old for a bottle, but he went right back to sleep every time. I understand feeling sleep deprived. But I don't think you're setting him up for bad sleep habits. Especially because he goes back to sleep on his own after he has the bottle. Try and get him to eat more during the day, especially right before bed. Does he like rice cereal or oatmeal? That might stick with him longer.

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G.W.

answers from Denver on

It's all relative! My 11 month old wakes up several times a night. I would love it if he could just wake once. I would leave his bedtime the same- many books (and I've read them all!) recommend a very early bedtime. Our older son was the same and woke many times a night until 18-24 months and now sleeps great. This is what he needs now. . . not what he will need forever. Also, be prepared for more waking when he starts to walk!

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B.F.

answers from Pocatello on

Dear A.,
My children are all grown-up, so I have LONG been out of the "wake up" times.... BUT I think that things are the same as always when it comes to sleep. My answer may not totally make you happy...I had twins that woke up until they were 16 months. When I went to the doctor with them, I told him that it was pretty tough getting up with them still. He told me that even though I was tired, they would not do it forever, there must be something that they needed, or they would not wake up. My two just wanted a drink of water, and a hug. They would go right back to sleep. The problem was, even though I did not work out of the home, I WAS ALWAYS TIRED. I look back on those times now, and really miss those times. Sometimes I wish they were back small again, and I was needed to give those hugs & kisses again. I am now in another wonderful chapter of motherhood, and I am sure I will look back at these times with fond memories. I also want to warn you about listening to other mothers....Every child does things at different times. If you listen to the other moms, you will become so worried about if you are a rotten mom, that you will not enjoy your child for who he/she is. Don't forget, they are not telling you about the things their child CAN'T do. After talking about your worries with your doctor, listen to what HE/SHE says, and then tune out the other moms. Best wishes!

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S.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hey A.,

I have a 16 month old and a 3month old and both have slept through the night since I brought them home. I had the privilege of nursing and sleeping with my children. I know there is controversy over sleeping with your baby, but it's truly the BEST way to go. They feel secure, loved, and full. At a certain age you do want to "break" them of this so it doesn't become a habit, as a mum you can tell when. For my son it was around 6months, so what I do now is make sure he falls to sleep in his own bed and bring him in later(if my husbands not home) so that way he's not dependent on having to fall to sleep with me. My daughter (3months) never wakes through the night because she's still sleeping with us.
I always made sure Landyn had his routine of dinner, bath, sip-cup/bottle during storytime and then lay him down to sleep around 9:30/10ish. 6:30/7ish is way way too early. I'm not sure how long he's at daycare or how much time he gets to spend with you guys but he could be missing you which is another great reason to keep him up later.
A bottle in the middle of the night is a good idea, but what i do with Landyn is place the sipcup in his bed in case he does wake up, so all he has to do is reach for it (brush teeth immediately in the morning to not to have any decay issues.

7pm dinnertime
7:30 bath
8:00 Playtime
8:30 Storytime
9:00 Bedtime if you can keep him up longer then it's worth it because he'll sleep later.
If you are open to bringing him into bed with you then do so in the middle of the night before he wakes, so that he's woken to security and comfort.
Does he eat solids yet? If so he may actually want something more solid than formula in his belly.
Anyways I hope this gives you some much needed relief.
S.

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E.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

If it makes you feel any better, at that age my daughter was up probably 2 to 3 times a night still. We tried cry it out countless times, but she had such a persistent personality that she could honestly cry all night without stopping. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 2. She was born very alert and wasn't even very sleepy as a newborn. My son has been a better sleeper from the start. Every kid is different. I guess you just learn to get used to it and wait it out, because eventually the night waking will stop. I don't personally think having to wake up once in the night is that big of a deal...

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A.L.

answers from Boise on

If he really is hungry, as you say, then feeding him when he needs it is the right thing to do. Besides that, it sounds like he is going right back to sleep, so that is a good thing too. If my daughter only woke up once during the night I would consider myself a lucky momma... She was awake every 2 hours or so every night until she was 2 years old.

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A.M.

answers from Boise on

Does your son drink from a sippy cup yet? I found what worked with my kids is I would put a sippy cup of water in their cribs at night because they always woke up thirsty and in the morning it was always halfway gone and they slept through the night. My kids still have a sippy cup next to their beds at night.

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K.A.

answers from Denver on

My granddaughter, who is 22 months started doing the restless sleep and waking up during the night when she started daycare. First of all, she had ear infections and will need to have tubes put in, but secondly, it seemed she had separation anxiety. I, the grandmother, often go over to stay the night so that she can sleep with me, therefore letting the parents have a good night's sleep. There is nothing wrong in letting your son sleep with you if it makes him more comfortable. If he is healthy, he just misses you.
K.

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L.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Try a sippy or bottle with just water... My youngest son is two and I always thought when he woke up he wanted milk, but when I tried water he took it and went back to sleep... We know leave a tippy with him at night and if he wakes up he gets a drink by himself and then goes back to sleep on his own... With the water we didn't have to worry about milk staying in his mouth and being bad for his teeth.

We also have not had an issue with potty (pee) training because of the midnight drink... both of my sons began waking up dry at about two years old. My first was actually younger.

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Y.T.

answers from Denver on

Get Dr. Ferber's book "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem's" either at the library, amazon or local bookstore. It will address you immediate problems and possible solve others to come when he gets older.
Y.

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S.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I don't think you are setting up for bad habits too much later, generally kids do grow out of this. My son was 2 before he gave up his night feeding and is 9 now with no sleep and eat issues.
S. M

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V.W.

answers from Great Falls on

Just a personal experience. I am 64, breastfed my guys and have LOTS of experience with babies...who did or did not sleep through the night. Both my kids woke at night and both slept through the night early, but began waking later. My husband and I took turns doing the midnight wake and feed after the kids weaned...we got enough sleep and let one another each have a weekend morning to sleep in. I'm not sure you have the control over kids who wake at night...what you can control is your own response....relax, be the adult and give each other positive support. Probably sounds corny to tired parents and I don't mean to be that...it's just that parenting usually involves the parents doing the changing and adjusting if we are going to meet kids needs. good luck to you, use each other for support and your grandparent folks, too, if possible. V.

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H.T.

answers from Denver on

First, I would say definitely don't worry about how other people's kids sleep. The main thing is, are you getting enough sleep with the current arrangement? If you are, then I'd keep doing it until he grows out of the need for it. Kids' needs change all the time. When he weans off the bottle entirely, he may stop waking in the middle of the night. Or not, but in any case, you'll have a new puzzle in 3 months or so.

If the arrangement is making you sleep deprived, then my questions are: Do you give him a bottle and/or a snack right before bed? Could you put him to bed an hour or so later? If you can get some protein into his bedtime snack, I bet that would help him sleep longer. (Protein takes longer to digest and stabilizes the blood sugar.)

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

My son still wakes occasionally, and he is 18 months old; and when he wakes up for the day at 6am, the first thing he says is "EAT!". I bet your son really is hungry. I know they all say by his age he shouldn't need a night feeding--my doctor told me that when my son was still waking at 9 mos for a feeding. But YOU know your son. If you think he's hungry, he most likely is! I say, feed him. If that's all it takes to get him back to sleep, it's a small sacrifice. You can keep the supplies for a bottle right by his bed so you can make one up quickly. He might be goiung through a growth spurt, and after a while, he'll stop waking up at that time.

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K.W.

answers from Pocatello on

I agree, he probably is hungry. That's a long time for a little guy to go without food. Therefore I don't think behavior changing tactics- crying it out, or comforting without picking him up are really going to help. Personally I would keep him up until 8:00 or 8:30 and give him a good filling snack around 7:30 or maybe leave dinner until then and give him a mid afternoon snack or bottle. I'd try to get the hunger thing under control so he'll not be hungry during the night when you wean him off the bottle at around 12 months. Good luck and count yourself lucky that he sleeps that good for you. I've got a two year old that still wakes up two or three times a week and disrupts the entire household.

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B.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I wouldn't be so anxious to toss the bottle. It may be an emotional attachment of comfort for one thing. Especially if he is in day care &
needs the bottle at night.
Our kids had their bottles until they were 18 months old.
They turned out fine.
Oldest is a pharmacist
Middle one is a professor
youngest is a bio-chemist
We didn't hurry the cycle to please the peditrician or the grandma's.

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