Help! My 4 Month Old HATES His Carseat!!

Updated on September 20, 2009
M.S. asks from Seattle, WA
21 answers

Hey all. I am a first time mother of a great 4 month old! Of course I am bias but he really is awesome. He has slept through the night since about 2 weeks, eats great, is never fussy, supper smiley and the list goes on. Problem is he absolutly dispises riding in the car. When he was younger it wasn't a problem at all, we would strap him in and he'd be asleep within minutes, now, he SCREAMS! He will be in a great mood before and the second we take him out he goes back to his happy self but makes riding in the car pretty unpleasent. I assumed it is because now that he is older he requires more stimulation so I have tried all kinds of toys, and hanging thingys and mirrors, etc. but nothing seems to help. Any suggestions of how I can make going in the car more enjoyable for him?? Thanks!!

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Take him to a chiropracter. His back is out of place since birth. The adjustment for a small baby is simple and goes quickly as he is held and not distressed by the adjustment.

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter went through a stage for about two months, from 3mo-5mo where she hated her car seat too. At the time she was still in her infant carrier type car seat. I changed her to a regular rear facing carseat (a Britax) and now she loves it. Maybe try a different seat?!?

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

Oh, M. that sounds terrible for you- -I'm so sorry. I'm going to make a suggestion that might help--- or it could make the problem clearer. Take baby and car-seat-- nicely strapped in -- to your local fire station-- did you know they will check out the car seat to be sure it's installed correctly AND to be sure the straps fit him the way they should---- I suspect ideally you'd want to check in every month the first year ( take the fire fighters cookies - Heaven knows they deserve every baking effort we could ever make) ---- as babies' bodies change so FAST =. What this might ''clear up'' for you- is that the problem may not be boredom-- he may hate the feeling of constriction- in which case - you'll just have to live through the months until he can be interested in other things enough to be distracted from the feeling he doesn't like. I know that's bad news-- I'd be horrified --- but there it is --he has to be in the car-seat --even if he hates it. Sorry dear heart-- I'll keep my fingers crossed that something helps.

Blessings,
J. - aka- Old Mom

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

My first hated it from the time she started becoming self-aware (3 months?) until, I don't know, about age 1. Screamed the Entire Time she was in any car, going anywhere ... it started out with a 45 minute drive in the dark, and for a little while it was only during the dark ... but then she generalized to all car trips : (. I stopped taking her places places in the dark, and then stopped going places in the car as much as possible, until she forgot to pull the freakouts anymore/that whatever-it-was had blown over.

Being unnaturally restrained, away from Mommy, seeing the world race away from you (rear-facing babies, if they register the world outside the car, would see it racing away) ... I once read an article about a group of African refugees here in Portland who had a very hard time with the whole carseat thing because--in the journalist's terms--'carseats aren't natural for their babies.'

Um. Carseats aren't natural, for *any* babies, duh ;).

SIGHHHHH.

It was never really a problem with the younger kids, who had built-in older sibling(s) to keep them company and be visibly present (as opposed to Mommy, who generally was up in front driving). I tried one of those mirrors-to-see-Mommy things, which kind of worked (in the daytime), but she needed me to be way too paying-attention-to-her, it made me too inattentive to driving ...

Anyhow, I hope other ladies have advice that just up and fixes your problem, and mine is a "well, at least I don't have it THAT bad!" reply ;) ... but just in case, know that you are not alone ... and that it *does* end, eventually.

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J.B.

answers from Richland on

Maybe you need to adjust the straps, they might be too tight. Although at 4 months or so, my son got too big for the infant carrier we had, and hated riding in it because he was uncomfortable. Once we got him his next seat it greatly helped, no more fussing in the car.

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C.C.

answers from Seattle on

Oh, M., my son hated it, too. In fact (and I'm sorry to tell you this), he hated it until I could turn his carseat around at 1 year old. He'd last about half an hour, and then just start screaming. It was awful!

He still shows signs of carsickness, even at five. My daughter drops off to sleep immediately in the car, but he doesn't. We'd have to be on a 3-hour trip for him to sleep at all.

I can't say whether your son is carsick, but if he feels a little nauseated in the car (I know from experience carsickness feel stronger when one is backwards in the car--I still have to either drive the car or sit in the front to keep from feeling it myself), he will likely dread that feeling, and will scream and cry because he has to go through it.

I wish I had a solution. I just took very few trips to see family (all were 2+ hours away) until he could handle it better. He was pretty much okay once he could turn around, though, even if he didn't like it, and now he's no trouble at all! At least you know your suffering (and his) won't last forever!

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Not sure if that's your case, but I actually know that it is pretty common for babies to get motionsick in the car. They may not always throw up, but simply start to associate the car seat with a negative stimulus.
Now unfortunately I have not heard of any solutions other than to keep the trips short and to a bare minimum.
Good luck!

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B.H.

answers from Seattle on

Depending on the size of your baby, Maybe his caseat is to snug on him and Needs to move into a rear facing convertable carseat?
Also think its baby einstein makes a toy that hangs on back of seat baby faces and it has a mirror for you and lights and music for baby, all controlled by remote you can attatch to your visor. It was savior for Me, my son also hated the carseat.....this lulled him and the lights stimulated him. Best of luck to you!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Have you checked to car seat to be sure there is not a hard or jagged spot poking his back or butt. There may be something external with the seat that is creating an uncomfortable ride.

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M.W.

answers from Seattle on

agree with the idea of rear-facing convertible. once my firstborn turned 4.5/5 months, I put her in a Britax and she was the happiest little munchkin! the "buckets" as I call them are very constricted and also put the baby at an awkward angle once they start getting a little big big for them. My 4 month old is showing signs now of wanting some more space, so we'll probably get her out of the bucket soon.

Our second born (the four month old) HATED the car seat when she was 1-3 months old. BUT, once I went back to work full-time, and she rode in the car twice a day-- she got used to it. You could try taking him for rides more frequently, since you are a SAHM, it may be something that he just needs to get more exposure to, get more used to.

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K.K.

answers from Seattle on

My normally happy son did the same thing. Screamed the instant we put him in the car. It made it hard to go out and I can't stand to let him scream. Plus, it makes for some pretty distracted driving. We got a mirror with lights and animals, be he had his eyes closed tight, so that didn't help. Finally, we found the right CD that did the trick. In our case, it was "Rock a Bye" glockenspiel lullaby renditions of modern music. So, maybe something like that will work. Good luck!

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G.M.

answers from Seattle on

maybe he is too big for his carseat and needs the next kind. I know mine would scream when his was too small it was uncomfortable for him.

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K.G.

answers from Portland on

M.,

You are absolutely not alone in this and there really may be nothing that you can do. Our daughter did the same thing, and it lasted until she was about 1. We bought a mirror with lights and sounds and turned the radio up. We have discovered that she doesn't like being confined, which may have been part of her problem, but really there was not clear answer. Hang in there, it definitely gets better.
K.

PS I wouldn't rush to turn the seat around, thinking that that is the problem. It hasn't made any difference for our daughter, she just seems to have grown out of it. Good luck.

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

The good news it is a phase. Continue to use the car seat, ignoring the screaming, and get in and drive. Stay calm, turn up the radio if you must.... he will eventually stop screaming (the first time will be the longest and hardest for you). After that the screaming time will be shorter and shorter.

It is hard. But stay calm. And remember it is a phase. And he will have many phases. This is just practice for the next one.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

You are not alone in this! My daughter would scream hysterically, and ofter I would have to pull over to console her before we could finish our errands.

Then we got a dvd player for the car. (I can hear all the horrified gasps, that yes my infant watched movies in the car) It distracted her, and car rides were a breeze.

For my second it was music, the same songs I listened to while I was pregnant with her, that did the trick.

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

It might just be a developmental phase. Does he only scream in relation to the carseat or is it anytime he's not being held?

If it's only the carseat, try music or singing to him. He has to stay in his carseat and rear facing until he's at least 1 (new recommendation is until at least 2). Other than that, just limit your trips if possible.

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M.E.

answers from Seattle on

Does something in the car seat hurt him? I pinched my grandson's leg when I strapped him in one time, and he really cried. He forgave me, and forgot it though. But perhaps there is something in the seat which hurts your little guy?

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C.S.

answers from Portland on

Check the fit of the car seat. Take it to a car seat clinic with the baby in it and make sure everything is adjusted right. Once we figured that out and my daughter realized that it was not uncomfortable to ride in (took a few days) everything was great.

Check also to make sure nothing is pinching, poking, or making his bounce funny. Little things can make a big difference.
Good Luck!

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S.B.

answers from Portland on

Maybe he's getting car sick......

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K.C.

answers from Portland on

This is the age that my son started hating his carseat. We recently bought him a convertible carseat that he actually likes. Anyways, we found that giving him toys in his hands was much more effective at keeping him happy than the hangy toys. Also, my husband spent a good deal of time in the backseat for two months before we bought another carseat!! ;) Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Portland on

Well my daughter has the same problem especially when she was younge. So what my husband and I would do sometimes was swing her around in teh car seat so it was like and exciting ride. I also think that it helps that we leave her car seat in the car and hold her when we're shopping or going into the house. Its just a little extra time she doesnt have to spend in the seat and I think its helped alot.

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