Head Lice - Oklahoma City, OK

Updated on July 08, 2008
S.Z. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
34 answers

My 9 year old has been scratching like a monkey lately so I checked him out and sure enough found head lice. I understand that these things happen and I treated the problem but I have an even bigger problem...my ex husband. We share custody of our son and we went through this earlier in the school year, I treated my house twice and I'd be shocked to find that my ex did at all. A few weeks ago I asked my ex to check our son out because I had noticed him itching before his dad picked him up. He claimed it was just dandruff and shaved the boys head. I got so angry, I tried to calmy explain that this is not a solution and when his hair grows out the problem will be back. I got out the vac and cleaned and did all the linens in hot water and checked both my head and my partners. We were fine. Then I noticed the itching again. Not only did my son indeed have lice, I called my ex to let him know I found a live bug (that just makes me shiver)but I asked him to please call his mother (my son stays there a lot and was just there over the weekend) but I also asked him to call some friends of his that our son had stayed with over the weekend. I told him I would pay for the shampoo to treat our son but please take care of your house...vac, laundry, check his and girlfriends heads. I gave it a few hours and called my ex mother in law to see if my ex really did call her, he didn't. She was shocked when I told her what had happened (please understand how much this woman hates me too so this was a hard call to make). Next I had to make the call to my ex's friend that my son had spent the night with. First he had heard of it as well. I can't believe that someone would think it unimportant to call these people just because they might be embarrassed. Fine, ex is a jerk. Whatever. My problem is that I know my ex will not treat his home and I'm sure my son will go to bed in his infested bedclothes and I don't know what to do about it. I can't have this back in my home. I'm seven months pregnant and can't keep up with this, I also can't make him vac and do laundry, nor can I break a custody agreement. Any advice?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advice and support. I have called my sons summer program as well as everyone I have access to that he has been around to give them the heads up to look for lice. I have also used the RID shampoo on my family and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. I'm pooped!!! I just wanted to point out that I recently read on the CDC web site that the lice sprays for beds and furniture don't really work and are toxic, they recommend vacumning all surfaces. I've spent two days picking bugs (skin crawling again) and nits out of his hair and today I took him for a summer burr haircut. I am a poor med student and I have zero cash for a lawyer but I have contacted legal aid but I am still waiting for a call back. There are many other reasons I want to go back to court for full custody and this is just the latest. I am just horrified at the laziness and lack of respect for my son, the people he has been exposed to, and myself that my ex has shown. I feel I have done all of the hard work so it really shouldn't be too hard to just do the boys linens and vac. I don't think my ex and his girlfriend are at too much risk, the ex wears 50's grease in his hair which the bugs can's live with and I don't think the girlfriend has any head to head contact with my son. My partner and I are clear as well. I will use the tea tree oil method and keep his hair close cropped all summer and hopefully this will be the end of it. Thank you all so much and please keep posting any advice.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.A.

answers from Decatur on

S.
Tea Tree Oil works wonders. You can put it (About a teaspoon)in the shampoo, it makes it slightly oily but it leaves a sent in the hair that the lice do not like. They will not get in his hair. This is how I finealy broke the cycle.

H.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Jackson on

just easier & cheaper ways to treat the lice:
use mayo & put it all over the hair & use a shower cap or saran wrap & leave it on at least 30 minutes. It suffocates the bugs & helps the nits come off easy. then use the nit comb to comb it out & wash it of course. If you don't want to do mayo, which I can't stand that smell, use a mixture of coconut oil (i found it in the organic section of grocery) & suave coconut shampoo. And do the same as the mayo.
Another method is to pour off about a tablespoon of shampoo of a new bottle & put apple cider vinegar in it. This is one a doctor told a friend of mine to do & just wash the hair in that every time.
My pediatrician said to use the mayo & shower cap & let them sleep with it in their hair.
(My twins have had lice several times, first when they were 22 months. We are almost 3 now, it is NO fun with lice!! I feel your pain!!!

Don't have any advice about the ex, sorry.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Tulsa on

S.,
I am tired just listening to all you've been through! My 11 year old son has had lice twice. It is a nightmare. Not only did my son get the lice, but so did I. I had waist length hair and was still breastfeeding and cosleeping with my 9 month old. I was afraid to use the chemicals. I used straight tea tree oil and tea tree oil shampoo. A word of caution about the oil, it is strong! I put quite a bit in my hair because it is thick and long. I wrapped a plastic bag around my head for awhile, then took a shower. I thought the fumes from the warm water hitting the oil were going to knock me out! That said, I do think it helped. I washed all our pillow cases in hot water every day. From what I have read, the lice cannot live without a host for more than 2 days. This time around, we used something called Lice MD. It is nontoxic. It is very oily, like the olive oil. You put it on very thick and leave on for 10 minutes. Then comb with a lice comb. The nits are loosened, the lice are suffocated. It worked for us very well. And no toxic smell or chemicals to worry about. I didn't bother with the sprays, just vaccummed and washed the bedding. You can get Lice MD at Wal-Mart, next to the other lice shampoo. Lice also need hair to lay their eggs. Since this is your son, you could keep his head shaved for the summer. Good luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Y.B.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Hi S.,
I have had the same problem with my ex. My children would go to his house and come back with it every time.
I have a friend who told me to start using baby oil....worked great. Just put the oil on the hair and scalp...cover with a shower cap and wait about 45 min.... the oil kills the lice and eggs...but it takes a while to get the oil completely out of the hair.
If you treat his hair before he sees his dad, the oil will still be there to keep the lice away.
My ex no longer gets to have the children over at all.
He can only have supervised visits with them, because he doesn't know how to supervise his children, and things that shouldn't happen....happen.
It will get better...hang in there.
I would talk to DHS because the more they find wrong in the dad's home...the more this agreement you have will soon be no more.

SAHM with twin daughters. Who are Blond headed.
Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Child Welfare will not do anything about this situation because head lice happens to everyone and is at epidmic levels. Do not keep using pesticides on your child. All web sites recommend just picking nits and killing the live bugs. The treatments do not work because the bugs have built up immunity to them. I am allergic to Ragweed so I cannot use the pesticide shampoos. I had to have a friend check me daily. I purchased a magnifying lamp that clamps to a tabletop from Staples. You can see even the babies. We found out that if we washed the girls hair then let it dry by itself that it was very easy to see the bugs and nits and remove them easily. The Tea Tree Oil seems to work. Just put a few drops in the kids shampoo and use it regularily. Bugs don't like it so they don't get on the shaft of hair. We also used T-Gel shampoo a few times.

If your children are school age this is something you may go through every year. Please check out the web sites and try to feel better about this situation. Nearly everyone acts like your ex when it comes to head lice. They think they can bury their head in the sand and it will go away. It won't go away but you will be prepared to deal with this.

http://headlice.org/faq/treatments/pest.htm http://headlice.org/report/index.htm http://headlice.org/faq/treatments/teatree.htm http://headlice.org/special/allcombout.htm

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.F.

answers from Jackson on

There is a product called NIX it is reallygood when my daughter was 6 weeks old there was an outbreak in her brothers school . The boys did not have it thankfully but our peditrician told me to wash their hair in that because the residue would stay in there for 7 days after they were treated to prevent them from getting them.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I'd contact my lawyer and ask if there's something that can be done to make the ex co-operate, although I don't think it's likely.

One money-saving tip for you. When my daughter had a persistent case a while back, we were going broke buying Rid shampoo to treat her waist-length hair. Then I looked at the active ingredient in it - it's pyrethrins, the same as in flea shampoo. I bought a big bottle of Adams flea shampoo for the same price as a small bottle of Rid. I put the flea shampoo on her hair while it was dry, making sure to saturate it. We let it sit for ten miuntes, then she lathered it up in the shower and rinsed it out. It killed the lice better than the Rid. Rid had left her hair dry, the flea shampoo has conditioners in it that left her hair soft. And the flea shampoo smells a lot better than Rid.
Pyrethrins are derived from chrysanthemums and are not as toxic as organo-phosphate insecticides.

After working for 15 years as a vet tech, I can tell you that all flea shampoos are NOT created equal. Hartz and Sargents are useless. Get either Adams or Zodiac.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.V.

answers from Enid on

I honestly can't say this is good advice....but it is advice. First of all I would be getting compensated for the costs of the lice treatments by the ex. Secondly, I would be speaking with an attorney about 'shared custody' with someone who seems to care less about his sons comfort or well being. Be sure after spraying lice spray on stuffed animals, toys, and any clothing that cannot be washed in the hottest of water to pack those in garbage bags and be tied shut for at the very least two weeks. Treat pets as well! And this has worked for my grand-daughter and grandson...After treatment, put olive oil on the head and a plastic cap to sleep in. This really does work while waiting for the lice and nits to die off for a couple of weeks. Also Tea Tree Oil is good just leave it in and fyi don't do a lot of headwashing. Lice do not like oily hair! As for the dad....surely he has head lice by now? If not I'd make some kind of arrangements to see that he gets them....sounds a little vengeful huh? But why make a child suffer and possibly get ill? There is always the option of a doctor or DHS becoming involved due to the pregnancy and ultimate health problems from using the chemicals.
B.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from Birmingham on

Notify the Court of your ex's refusal to take care of this issue - it's a health issue and they will take it seriously. Also, contact the Health Department. Contact an attorney, you may be within your rights to keep your son away from your ex until he "cleans up his act" - that's just irresponsible.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

I know it may sound a bit harsh but there is something you can do about it. You can contact child protective services and speak to someone. Head lice do not eat the hair the cling to they suck blood to survive and thrive and can lead to an unhealthy child. Your husbands not informing of others may have been because he was ashamed or thought it would be embarrasing and he probably is a jerk but there is no excuse to keep from taking care of this problem. Your also right to worry about the fact that you have to keep treating your child esp if your using over the counter lice killer like RID etc the chemicals in such things can also be very harmful to your childs health. I wish you the best of luck, but really call and talk to someone in authority you may get help. Good luck and Bblessed always in all things

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.A.

answers from Birmingham on

Yep, Talk to the girlfriend if she lives in his home.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from Mobile on

I don't know for sure that it will work but have heard people say that if you grease your childs hair the bugs can't latch on to your hair. I have heard the same about hairspray. Maybe you could do that before he goes. I agree that it is sad he doesn't care. I have never tried either, so I am not sure. I have an ex like that so I understand how you feel. GOOD LUCK!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Enid on

Call DHS. The school can't do anything - if they do it would be to contact DHS and that is about it. Or better yet (since it sounds like you have probs with the ex and his family) have your partner or best friend call DHS. DHS cannot disclose who called but you wouldn't be lying to your ex when you said it wasn't you. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.W.

answers from Auburn on

Can your son quietly take his own sheets and pillow case to Dad's?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Next time your son goes to his father's give him a spray called "bedding spray" lice treatment and have him spray all of his things right when he gets there, so they can dry before he goes to bed. I picked up the spray from CVS if I remember right it was only $7.00. Just show him how to use it, i am sure can do this. My daughter is 9 and she did it. Hopefully this will work, GOOD LUCK!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Little Rock on

Your ex is neglecting the health and general well being of your child. It sounds to me like you have very good reason to break your custody agreement here. If you can't afford a lawyer, call your DHS office and see what they can do to help. You might even try the public defender (free lawyer) and see if they can represent you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We used to have a problem with my step son he would come home from his mothers with lice every time he went. I have never liked using the lice shampoos because of the possible side affects. I actually found something at our local health food store that you sprayed on their hair to prevent them from getting lice. I think it was called Mrs. Mims but I am not for sure. It was a miracle!! One reason it worked so well for him was because he didn't bathe for the entire weekend. So I am not sure if it would work as well for your son if he washes his hair while he is there.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Call your lawyer and have them file an emergency full custody suit. Explain the what is happening and they can make it to were your son will not go over there until it is all taken care. Your childs health is in danger and the lawyers will know what to do. i know this costs money but so does the shampoo, water, laundry soap and everything else that goes with taken care of the problem. Your son's health is more important than anything.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.E.

answers from Texarkana on

Maybe your lawyer could give you the number of some health department or social services that could step in and check out the home...and say...no visiting until this situation is handled??? Or visiting supervised at grandmas? Or something like that. Just a thought.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Birmingham on

Order Lice RX online.

My girls have LONG blond hair and I HATE picking nits out.

You wash with Lice RX and then it has a leave in solution so when the nits hatch, they die. You leave this on his hair for 2 to 3 days and he can go to your ex's with it in and ask him, for his son't sake) to not wash his hair.

I don't wash anything especially in my house, I just move them out of their rooms for a couple of days while everything dies. Can you send him with an extra pillow?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.G.

answers from Monroe on

Hello, There is a new product LiceMD that is a non toxic option that is effective. Askdrsears.com has info on this and treatment. Maybe this can help. I'll be praying the ex and in-laws will help and not hinder the process. Blessing, R.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yup, I got one of those exes too. The best thing you can do is deny custody until the mess gets cleaned up. And inspect for yourself that it is done properly. That's what I have to do on a regular basis. My youngest has a history of allergies, so when she came home all puffed up and sniffley, I'd have to keep her until he got everything washed and vaccuumed. As for having to make the phonecalls, I'm surprised you're shocked. I don't even bother asking him anymore, because I know he'll never do it. Good luck :}

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.R.

answers from Tulsa on

My heart goes out to you!!! If you don't think cutting down visits until your ex cleans his place is an option... I suggest mantainance things to use while your son is visiting dad or grandma. I used tea tree scalp oil, you can find it at Walmart's and coconut conditioner hair dressing. Lice doesn't like these items and if you put a little bit on your scalp and hair and massage after shampooing, scalp stays healthier. Tea tree shampoo is good and or Head and Shoulders. Once hair grows back, to use the blow dryer after shampooing every day works great!

Now do a deep breath, relax and remember this too should pass!

God bless you, hugs,
R.

PS: Notice I avoid the use of toxic stuff, after those first strong treatments you need to give the child a rest!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.T.

answers from Lafayette on

I would recommend talking to an attorney, or letting your ex know that you will be talking to an attorney if he isn't willing to do what is necessary and responsible as a parent. Your son shouldn't have to be subjected to his father's neglectful behavior. Hopefully, the threat of an attorney will make him realize what he needs to do. Also, it may help to let him know that he will probably get lice also if he doesn't do something about it soon.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Dothan on

Hi S.,

we had a louse problem and unless everyone is doing their part to get rid off them, it's almost impossible. however, when i was really upset, a doctor told me that he could prescribe some sort of antibiotic that makes the blood from the child somehow different, so the lice won't like him/her anymore. the doctor told me that this should be the last resort. ask your doctor and see. maybe if your son is on the antibiotic, he won't catch the lice even if he has to be in this infested environment. i would also recommend not using the shampoo too often, since it is a heavy duty pesticide and really not good for your child.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.S.

answers from Tulsa on

Yes. I had exactly the same problem. I lost friends and family members who would not treat their homes properly. I spent a year and a half and over 3 grand treating my home before I realized that it was coming in from familiar places. Your ex will not change his behavior without extreme intervention. Call the department for children welfare in your area and have his home inspected. Then go back to court with the evidence. Save your receipts from treating your home. If that doesn't make him change his behavior, nothing will and you'll just have to wait it out. Wish I had better news.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Enid on

Well I think this is a good reason to break the custody agreement. My step-daughter's mother breaks our custody agreement whenever the mood hits her. It is good to hear a Mom concerned about not breaking it for once, but you actually have good reasons. Talk to a legal advisor and see what they say. He could take you to court, but if he does I believe the judge will see you are only trying to protect your son and immediate family.

Good Luck - I know dealing with your ex-spouse is very difficult.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from New Orleans on

I think I would have to stand my ground and not let your son go until you know for a fact the home and cars have been sprayed and cleaned. It is not only for your sons welfare, but for you and your unborn baby. You should not be exposed to those types of chemicals at this time.
As for your ex... seems quite irresponsible if he didn't contact the family or friends. He needs to realize that lice left untreated, can cause sores on the head and neck area and then a secondary infection could happen that could then lead to scarring. He wouldn't want that for y'alls child or themselves.
I believe the eggs hatch every 7 days, just like fleas and roaches. So the egg cycle has to be broken. It has to be treated every 7 days for 3 weeks, that is what I would do.
All I can say is pray for a peaceful solution.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Contact your attorney. It seems like to me that you could do some kind of emergency thing where he won't have to go back over there until his house has been checked out and the all clear sign given. Maybe threaten him with a call to Child Protective Services if he doesn't take care of the problem and if he doesn't do everything he is supposed to do then I would follow through on that threat and make that call. Your main priority is to take care of your child and you can not send him to a house that you know is infected with lice. Exes suck :-)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from Fort Smith on

First of all, the myth that having head lice is from being dirty is just that. Lice do not like dirty hair...fact.

You did well in contacting all involved but if they don't cooperate it won't do any good.

I would think that non-sanitary living would be a good thing to report to child welfare and see if they can't enforce a follow-up for the welfare of the child.

Simply vacuuming will not remove the lice...all areas need to be sprayed and treated before vacuuming. Also, if the child uses anyone else's comb or brush that may be the culpret.

Make some calls to the child welfare department...the school counselor - most schools won't let the child attend with lice...anyone who will listen.

Good luck with your ex...seems to me he needs to think more of the child than the "embarassment" of the situation.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Tulsa on

S., you can only do what you can at home. However, a nine year old boy is perfectly capable of doing the wash, vacuuming and whatever it takes. I have a nine year old boy that is coming to work with me and cleaning my office for money. At nine, they are very independent and resourceful. Teach him what needs to be done about the lice. You are right, the other house is probably full of lice. Show him what they look like. Send a magnifying glass with him and put him on the hunt. You may not want him handling a big bottle of bleach so maybe you could send some sort of disenfectant in a small bottle and he can do his sheets himself when he gets to Dad's house. I would restrict his visits to his friend's houses for a while. Call those parents and ask them not to have him over for a few weeks for a sleepover- until the problem is resolved.
Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Tulsa on

Consult the school. They may have a way to enforce this.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.T.

answers from Lawton on

Call the health department. You will not have to break your custody agreement the health department will not let him go back to his fathers until HE takes care of the problem.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Little Rock on

S.,
I feel your pain. I am 35 yrs old and I had lice when I was in the 5th grade. At that time I had waste length hair and I remember for weeks I was out of school and my mother seemed to pick at my head all the time getting eggs out of my head. I'll never for get it! As for your son, custody etc. For the safety of your son, I'd bring his doctor into and tell her/him everything in this entry. The doctor IS NOT going to want lice on a newborn. If the EX doesn't believe you, then you need to make it a point to have him take your son to the doctor and the doctor can give him the instructions and say, "HE'S GOT LICE!". Some men don't believe certain things about their kids. I am happily married and my husband doesn't believe some things unless he hears it straight from the doctor. It's just how men are! Seriously, see if you can tell your doctor how long this has been going on, the situation and see if there is anything you can do to break custody since your son "is sick" so you can get your son back on track. Tell the doctor that your EX and EX mother in law are not taking care of him.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches