Girr Men Suck!!!!

Go to the library and get the book "men are from mars, women are from venus". You'll feel better. Men are different - they don't like to talk, generally. This book will help you understand the male mindset and communicate with him so he will find it easier to communicate with you.

From all of your posts, I've gathered that men suck, CPS sucks, your current situation sucks, 'this culture' sucks (which culture would that be, by the way?), and SIDS isn't a real disorder, all within the past 24 hours. The only common denominator here is you. Maybe you should revisit how you are choosing to comunicate with others, both here on this site and at home. You are raising a lot of tempers and with that kind of attitude and lack of expanded vocabulary (you need to find another choice word for 'suck' (it's getting old)), I wouldn't want to talk with you either. Who wants to be around such narrow minded (per your FB friend post) negativity, especially when it's directed at him?

And just for the record, my husband can be a huge pain in my butt, but no, he doesn't suck.

Never try to turn a man into a chick.

Think about this carefully.....
Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it.
Sometimes changing your approach, tone of voice or words can mean all the difference in the world to get people's attention.
Let me give you an example....
"girr men suck!!!!" vs "Upset that husband won't communicate."
Good Luck!

You've written a lot of posts lately.
Maybe you just have a lot going on and he doesn't know what to say.
We hope to have a partner that will communicate with us, but sometimes it's hard.
You don't have to go crazy. Maybe he just needs a little space and it doesn't really mean anything other than that.

You and the kids have had a lot going on.
Maybe he just doesn't know what to say to fix everything or make things better. Maybe he really does defer to your decisions.

Not all men are deep talkers. Sometimes they roll things around a bit and try to analyze them. Sometimes they are afraid to say the wrong thing or don't know what to say at all.

Maybe he's feeling overwhelmed.
That would be a valid feeling.

With some of the other things you've been through, have you asked for referrals for keeping your marriage strong? There would be nothing wrong at all with that.

Just my opinon.

The videos "laugh your way to a better marriage" has some GREAT tips on getting him to talk... Search them on youtube...

You might try something like this. When you don't talk to me I feel like you are telling me I am not validated. When you ignore me when I ask how your day is I feel like I am not important. Let the person know that it hurts your feelings and this makes you feel like you are are not validated.

Maybe he will see how his actions effects you - it is a two way street so you also have to listen to him and let him say how he feels if you nag him or bug him with questions. Not saying you do but that is just an example.

Remember = DO NOT be emotional (us women can get that way) but be very nice and very controlled and sweet and maybe he might react positively to you.

N.

Men don't suck. My husband doesn't suck. He talks a lot to me. We are best friends, great lovers, great teammates (as parents and husband and wife), and much more. Just cause you are having an issue with your husband, doesn't mean men suck. I think it is awful to label a gender based on one man. I love men, and have always preferred having males as friends. I feel more comfortable with them- less drama, less evil-intentions, more casual, not catty, fun times, etc... I certainly don't say "women suck"!!! I do have plenty of good M. friends now that I love, and I always had a female best friend:)

Don't forget- relationships go both ways. You married hm, show him some love and cool down a bit. Spend time together. Go out and enjoy yourselves.

Men are fun:)

My hubby and I go through rough spots - I think any relationship even one with friends do from time to time. I am interested in the positive support other Mommys can bring here.
I think its better to be helpful and supportive in these groups, then tell another Mommy she is wrong and put it in her face that she happens to be in a great relationship - that is just plain insensitive. Yes, men suck, women suck and even kids suck - you are venting your frustration with the situation and that is perfectly normal.
If there is the love there, like you say, you should pull through. Have you thought about a week-end get away - no kids, no worries - just spend time together. Plus I really like what Nadyne said.
One thing that is important for men to feel is that they are being listened to - that typical gets my husband talking more, don't interrupt, don't tell him your opinion, don't judge him. Hang on his every word, be an active listener, make good eye contact, have your body language be positive and just listen to him.

I wrote my husband letters about things that bothered me. I kept them short and to the point. He read them and sent letters back. Post on refrig door.

since you posted another thread about looking for Christian women friends, I'll suggest a book that my church's women's group studied last year: For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn http://www.lifeway.com/product/001249676/
I didn't agree with everything she wrote and some of what she says could easily be misinterpreted, but a lot of what she wrote regarding things like the types of insecurities that are common to men and how that affects the way they act/communicate made a lot of sense

Hi KBS,

I feel for you because Im married to a man just like that. It took a while to figure out how to deal with him, but I learned that Man are made to deal with issure, its there natural authority that come with them with birth, some are more emotional to be able to express just how they feel and there is our that are always trying to figure everything out for themselves, they forget that we are their help mate. But you have to find where he is most comfortable talking, it might be while in the bed before going to sleep or it might be being out away from home at a his favor restaurant. Mine will talk late nite, just when I getting ready to fall to sleep. All you can do is be there for him and continue to show him love and understand, dont pressure. Write him notes of enourage words, to let him know that you have an ear to hear whenever he is ready to talk, this have work for me. We really dont know what our husband have to face out there everything in the world that seem to be going crazy also. Be encourage....