Frustrated New Mom

Hi mama,

Call the Fussy Baby Network warm-line, run by a team of excellent child development specialists from Erikson Institute. They also do home visits and have parent drop-in groups. Good luck! Hang in there!!

1-888-431-BABY

http://www.erikson.edu/fbn.aspx

I loved the books Baby Whisperer and On Becoming Babywise. They both gave great tips for getting on a good schedule and being able to read what baby is telling you.

It's not perfect all the time, but it can be better.

Best of luck!!

Oh my gosh there are a lot of wonderful moms out there who think their children are absolutely amazing and can't get over how they managed to grow teeth by the time they were a month old and never cry and sleep 23 hours and laugh constantly in the one hour that they are awake and beat the charts with their height and growth and never get sick and so on and so on. You are being very honest. It is not an easy job being a mom, sounds like you love your child a lot, and well, you have a crier. I had one, no make that two of those for awhile and wondered how come everyone else had the perfect life. Their kids even looked shiney to me. There will be a time when baby stops crying and fussing. If you are seriously worried you of course go to the doctor to verify that there is nothing wrong. And put on the detective hat and figure out the things that make baby happy, such as a bath for one or more food or whatever it takes. That at least minimizes crying time. Get enough sleep. This will all pass and then you'll head into the next phase. It is not you. There are just so many people out there who appear to do it all perfectly and make people like us feel inadequate at times. Well, I know I'm telling you this from experience. My children are 24 and just about 19 and they did all sorts of whining and crying and growing and teething and drooling and not sleeping and I love them to pieces. I'll bet when you start back to work you will remember those great mommy feelings. Don't worry. You are a cool mom and I'll bet a wonderful friend to people because you are so honest.

Hopefully I can assure you a little bit.

My son screamed and cried nonstop for 14 weeks. Not just in the evening during the so-called "witching hour" but pretty much all day long. Those "oh, isn't it great being a mom" moments NEVER happened for me in the first 3 months either and I was so scared that I had birthed this pitiful, unsoothable baby that would have the crabbiest temperament on the planet.

And trust me, I tried everything under the sun...the worst was probably listening to the nosy moms who INSISTED there was something wrong with my son, although they'd never met him nor had they ever accompanied him to a pediatrician's appointment to hear that, well, nothing was wrong. He was JUST colicky. Of course, as if the screaming and crying wasn't bad enough and I was having a hard time enjoying being a new mom, some women just couldn't help themselves by proclaiming "You're just not trying hard enough!", as if to say I took pleasure in my baby's incessant crying.

THERE IS HOPE! You can be sure of that. If you haven't yet had the baby checked out by the pediatrician to make sure there aren't any issues to be addressed, do so. The other thing you might want to do is really get in tune with a sleep routine/schedule. Many times babies will fuss a lot if they are tired. If you don't put them to bed when they are tired, they continue to fight it and become overtired...making it even MORE difficult for them to fall asleep and making the waking hours a living nightmare. Everyone else who helped me through my son's colic told me that at around 12 weeks it would just stop, like turning off a switch, and I would have a brand new baby on my hands. I was reluctant to believe them but was shocked and amazed that one day it just happened.

My son is now 2 1/2 and tons of fun. He laughs and smiles nearly all the time and is such a great little guy. Now, had you asked me to envision where my son would be at the age of 2 back during his screaming fits, I imagined an unhappy toddler that I'd never be able to satisfy. Thank goodness it never worked out that way!

Hang in there...it does and will get better! And, if you want to vent more, feel free to send me a PM. I remember the first 14 weeks as some of the darkest times in my life, feeling like a failure, and just being so overwhelmed.

She could be colicky and it is not your fault. Colic is, basically, uncontrollable crying in an otherwise healthy baby. It can last, usually up to 12 - 16 weeks (some other posts may give you other opinions on this). Do not feel like you have failed at being the best mom that you can be. Unfortunately, when you have a new baby, it's the idealized dream that everyday they will be filled with sunshine and smiles. Some days and weeks are filled with what you have described. And every baby is different so if this is not the ideal experience that you had wished for, should you choose to have a second child, the experience will be totally different.

Please speak to your doctor about your little one just to allay your fears about any kind of medical concerns. If you have done this, then you have to do a little experimenting on your own with feeding and changing her routine. She may be colicky and experiencing a lot of gas/bloating. You don't mention if she is formula fed or if you are breastfeeding. You may want to consider another type of formula or alter your diet, making it very bland at first, to see if her response changes. When my daughter would get that fussy, my sister taught me to carry her, on my forearm, with her stomach resting on my arm, legs dangling around/between my elbow and head around my left hand (I have long arms so... I hope you get the visual of what I'm trying to say.) This puts pressure on their stomach and relieves any gas symptoms - it became my daughter's favorite "hold".

Digestive concerns aren't the only possible cause for colic. Sometimes the cause is undiagnosed. Chiropractic care can also be a Godsend for colicky babies .

I hope this season in your life ends and you return to more peaceful, happier moments. So sorry this has been such a challenge. It truly is terribly frustrating to live this!!!! Keep close bonds with significant other, family or friends and let them relieve you for some of the trying times while you go and take a walk or run to the store. (even if it's only for 30 minutes!!!! You need to recharge that peace of mind!

Best of luck to you.

Hi Rachel.
My son is 14 weeks, and while he is a pretty easy going baby, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. There are times when he is nursing round the clock, that I think, "this frickin sucks!". You are not a bad mother for not being all smiles all the time!
I would talk to your ped about the constant crying. It could be colic. Hang in there. You are doing a great job:)

Sounds like my first born. He cried ALL THE TIME unless I was standing while holding him and bouncing. I could not put him in a bouncy chair, do tummy time, or anything unless I was holding him. And I had to be standing! If I noticed he fell asleep I would slowly attempt to sit. He would wake up immediatley. He got better once he could crawl and move around on his own. And he did always sleep well at night, which was my saving grace and just barely kept me out of the loony bin. To add insult to injury, it seemed all those around me who had babies had wonderfully quiet ones. I was a nervous wreck. I bought a Baby Bjorn front-carrier, then I could at least use my hands while up. The best thing for me was going back to work . There was simply nothing that could make him happy. I decided he just did not like being a baby.
HE is now 7 years old, happy, healthy, but still a handful. I believe that it is just a personality trait. My next son was very quiet, and easy to take care of. I thought there was something wrong with him, the pediatrician assured me there was not. So, I got my harder one done with first!
There is no easy answer. You will feel frustrated, stressed, and wonder why in the world you decided to have a baby. But it will pass, I promise you. Consider it a challenge, and take all the help you can in regards to letting others help you out. My son is the apple of my eye, and no one makes me laugh like he does. It will be worth it, I promise. But it is tough, and nobody understands what you are going through unless they have had a fussy one themsleves. It will be good for you to go back to work and step way from it each day. If I can offer any additional support, please do not hesitate to contact me. I wish you all the best!!! It will get better, I promise!! And your next one will be a piece of cake!!

Hi Rachel,

You are so not alone. It's so hard to have a new baby, especially one that cries all the time. I was there and my heart goes out to you. What saved my sanity was the vaccuum. No joke. It was like a tranquilizer dart. The vaccuum + swing was my life saver!!! I didn't think it would work because I bought a white noise machine and that did nothing for him. But lo and behold the vaccuum worked. Also, in retrospect (hindsight is 20/20) I think I was trying too hard: rocking, bouncing, caressing, singing etc etc etc when I think I was actually keeping him awake. I was just trying everything. If I were to do it over again (which I hope I will), I will leave him be more. Not that they don't need to be held, etc, of course they do. But I think, knowing my toddler now, I was actually keeping him up. It's something to try anyway.

Hang in there, Mom!!! I'm sure you're doing a great job!! Feel free to send me a personal message to vent or ask questions or whatever. You've got a network of moms here who understand. It's just so hard those first few weeks. You will get through this, and you will have those Hallmark moments. It just may take a while.

Lynn

P.S.- My husband was given a book called "The Joy of Fatherhood" or something, and those first few weeks we kept saying that it was mocking us. The sappy title and cover photo. But it does come. I promise.

Hi Rachel-

My son was colicky for 6 mos. Some of the tricks we had to do to soothe him: let him sleep in his swing, and swaddle him until he was 5 mos! Now he's 3, and some of the things he says, I look back and wonder if that caused his fussyness. He says loud noises "scare" his ears. He's also very sensitive and his feelings get hurt easy. He has an older brother, and maybe the loudness of a toddler when he was a baby was bothersome?! He cried more during the day, when we were all up... So look at your environment too, is the tv on? Maybe you could use some white noise?

We moms who have had a fussy baby know where your at. I too would cry along with him sometimes! Please make sure to take time to yourself. Even if you have to hire a teen while your at home just to find some quiet time. Go outside and enjoy an hour! An hour can do wonders for you.

I think all kids are different, your baby may be fussy, but you may have the easiest toddler (like my #2)! Or you could have a very easy baby and a difficult toddler (like my #1).

Best wishes! Before you know it the fussy phase will be over!

These days can be tough. My first baby was colicky and there was nothing to do but let her grow out of it. I remember my Pediatrician assuring me at the 2 month check-up that my daughter will be a wonderfully happy and content baby by 4 months...and it was true!

One thing that my daughter responded to was the methods outlined in "The Happiest Baby on the Block." The "shushing" and "jiggling" would temporarily stop my daughter's crying (and even a temporary break from the crying was like winning the lotto, at that point!)

I understand how you feel about the "fairy tale image" of being with your newborn. Not having the happy, gurgling, smiling newborn felt like a slap in the face to me. However, this is nothing you caused or contributed. Babies are just different. I can promise you that, even though will remember the "colic days," you will not feel the actual pain in the future! (And, as each month clicks by, you are getting closer and closer to a full night's sleep!!) Hang in there Mom!!

I agree, sounds like colic. I had the same with my first born but he was colicy, had reflux, plus a slew of things like 3 ear infections, RSV, bronchitis, hand/foot/mouth disease, constant colds and other fun stuff ALL within the first year. I mean this literally, I'm not kidding when I say my baby didn't stop crying or crack even the slightest little smile until he was 7 months old. So believe me, I felt terrible because I was excited to go to work just to get away from the crying. It's hard for even the most patient of people to be around 24/7. I even have a friend who's son had colic so bad that his ped prescribed some kind of opiat for him to sleep. I guess they only give that in the very worst of cases but I thought I had it bad until I met her and she told me that he didn't stop, not even a little, for almost all 24 hours of the entire day! Could you imagine that?! So then thinking back to the 5 or 6 hours I had per day were bad but it could have been a lot worse. I ditto with everyone else, call her doctor and see what you can figure out. Maybe a formula switch or if you're BF it could be something in your diet. There's are a lot of possibilities but please don't feel bad. You have year and years of wonderful and fullfilling experiences ahead of you yet. Just take it one moment at a time, one day at a time. You will get through. I promise! >: )

some babies are fussy! dont worry soon youll have a rolly polly 6 month old that wants to laugh and play...being a mom is hard work!

Rachel

Boy do I know how you feel-I am a first time Mom (35 at the time of my little guy's birth) and I remember that!! The great thing is, I remember it FAINTLY now because IT DOES GET BETTER! I understand your concern because you are going to back to work and you feel the pressure is on to 'get through this' but it is going to go away. I want to say at 4.5 months, my son finally got through that fussy, collicky time. Then he was a dream. Before that, a nightmare! I am not sure if you are breastfeeding or formula feeding, but it could be that something is not agreeing with her. If breastfeeding, you could be eating something that doesn't sit right, or with formula, it could be you need a tummy sensitive kind. Anyway, this too shall pass. Trust me.
Good luck, and trying running the vaccuum. Sounds crazy, but white noise will calm down a fussy baby.

My first born cried all the time, had his days and nights mixed up so he would stay up all night, and at 5 weeks we discovered he had sleep apnea, so he was on an apnea monitor that went off ALL THE TIME. I never had the "OMG this is such a fairy tale" feeling with him until he was much older. But all of this was actually to the good, because I invested so much of me into him that I am very close to him even to this day. Relax, try to enjoy and know that the time passes so fast that you will soon have lots of smiles and giggles from your precious one.

I hope that these resources might be helpful for you...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/8/t081200.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050100.asp

Best wishes,
J.

Hi Rachel, so sorry this is going on. I ditto the other moms, talk to the doc, call right away, you all don't need to continue to suffer. Don't worry about not feeling that warm fuzy, it'll come, you're also post-partum. Do not discount the power that holds, as well as sleep deprivation.

Good luck to you and your little angel.
D.

Does your baby have colic?

I thihnk that babies are always happiest int he mornings. Mine only smiled in the am at 12 weeks. My dr. told me that mornings are always best for them.

You poor thing! I was there with my almost 7 yr old all those years ago. She had colic all day every day from 3 weeks till 9 mos.

The following helped me survive. I found she was way overtired. So doing the following (cut and pasted cause I give this advice so much and it works) will make it liveable. But what solved her issue was a trip to the chiropractor. One adjustment and she was a new kid. I was shocked. She started sleeping through the night, being happy and napping consistently. And smiling all the time. Here's the survivor guide
try using the Baby Whisperer's EASY method for a schedule, and the Happiest Baby on the Block 5 s's method. Those two combined will make cio not be a needed thing (at that age)
EASY - when the baby wakes up it Eats. After you feed it, then it has Activity - bouncy seat, tummy time, sitting up and playing with toys, swing, exersaucer, etc. When the baby gets fussy check the B's - boredom, butt or burp. If it's none of those then off to Sleep. Don't wait for the baby to do more than get the tiniest bit fussy, then see what is causing the fusses - if it's just that they needed their diaper change do that, but if it's not the activity is boring, the butt is dirty or they have to burp, then put them down. This may happen after as short as 45 minutes, don't freak, it really means they are tired.
Now, to get them to sleep use the 5 s's. Swaddle the baby, hold the baby on their side and sway as they suck on something (paci, your knuckle or their finger/thumb) and make a shush noise. This will calm your baby. When the baby is calm, but not asleep yet, keeping them swaddled lay them in the bed. I like to pat them instead of sway after a minute or two cause you can still pat after they are put down but you can't sway, so pat the baby and continue patting gradually decreasing it as you put them in the bed. Also continue the shushing as you put them down, again gradually getting quieter.
If you do these two you will find a well rested, easily managed baby in no time.

I know it's tough being a new mom. You have all of these expectations that never really seem to pan out. It would be so much easier if babies could talk and tell you what's wrong. It could be that your baby is colicky. Do you breast or bottle feed? If bottle feed, the baby could be taking in too much air. Either way, be sure she burps after each feeding. Be sure to talk with your pediatrician as well. When my son was an infant he was colicky. The only thing that seemed to work was putting a warm towel on his stomach. It would help him either burp or pass gas.

Good Luck, and Congratulations!!

There is a program called the Fussy Baby Network. They have a hotline number you can call and they come to your home. The service is free. They can give you tips and suggestions on how to reduce your baby being fussy or ways for you to cope. I know a few people who have used this service and loved it.

Hi Rachel,

I know how you feel! My little one started crying all the the time around 10 weeks. There was nothing we could do except carry her around in the Baby Bjorn. We changed formulas 3 times and it was no help. Finally, at the 17 weeks the ped. diagnosed her with reflux. She was put on medication and was a new baby the next day! It was amazing. Ask your doctor to find more about reflux. Good luck!

Rachel, sooo sorry to hear about your little one, there really is nothing worse to a mama than the sound of her baby crying! My second one was like that and I remember feeling like I was going to lose my mind with the sleep deprivation added to the mix it can be really tough!

I have two thoughts, it sounds like your baby has colic, which should naturally be ending soon, but I would talk to your pediatrician about the timing to be sure the baby doesn't have reflux, or some type of aversion to what she's eating b/c while colic babies cry a few hours a day, all day is not normal. The five "S's" from the Happiest baby on the block really worked for me (shushing, side, sucking, swinging, swadle) and I tell every new mom whose baby doesn't just automatically sleep like an angel a must read is "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" by Weissbluth- that alone could be your answer.

Second, I read this really interesting study that gave colic babies probiotics and the other group got the gas drops, at the end of the study not a single baby in the probiotic group was still colicy, whereas the other group was almost entirely so. All of my three babies have been fussy babies and I can't wait to try probiotcs with my baby due in December!

I will also say, those first few months are sooo physically demanding when you don't have a baby that "just sleeps all the time," and it does get easier and while it remains a very hard job, it is the best thing in the world!! Praying for lots and lots of fabulous mom moments both now in the future!

I'm having flashbacks reading your post. I have three kids and all of them were fussy. With the first I cried as much as she did. The only time she didn't fuss was when she slept in my arms, in the swing, or on a walk in the stroller. I felt like I was constantly having to do something to make that baby happy. My second was the same, but quite as bad. The third started out really good and I was breathing a sigh of relief when he started.

If I'm in a store and I hear a baby cry I will automatically start to bounce back and forward like I'm soothing that baby. I even had to rock back and forth when I watched tv with the oldest.

My MIL figured out a technique with the youngest that worked for him, but was ohhhh so much work and not particularly fun at 2am in the morning. But we would hold him really close to our chest and support his head with our hands so it didn't move and then gently bounced up and down alternating from one foot to the other.....looked a lot like in indian rain dance you would see in old cowboy movies. It worked for him.

I think my kids were all just really gassy...there is a running joke in my extended family about all the hot air all of us produce.....poor things were in pain all the time. Didn't matter what I ate (tried to eliminate everything from my diet until I was practically on bread and water), but nothing helped. I tried pro-biotics. I tried soy formula (though I was breast feeding). They were just fussy.

I learned to live with it. And they all outgrew it by the time they were about four or five months old. Once they started to roll around they seemed to be happier. They are all really happy kids now. And I enjoyed them so much as they got older that I'm thinking of having another at 42 years old.

It will pass and later it will be a joke. And I do believe you have fairy tale images that are going to ruin your experience as a mother if you don't get them out of your head. Kids cry and some cry a lot. Doesn't mean you are necessarily doing anything wrong. When they cry check their diaper and their clothes, think if they might be hungry or sleepy and if all that's a negative, then just bounce them around.

So a swing doesn't work? Walking outside in the fresh air doesn't work? I would take my oldest outside in February in a snowsuit, propped up with blankets and a blanket over the top to screen from the wind. Her little face would get all pink, but she would smile from ear to ear. And that was before she could even sit up. She just loved being outside no matter how cold it was. Whatever worked to make her stop crying.

She's not a fussy child now and I don't tolerate whiney behavior because she knows better now (she's six).

It will pass don't worry.

Hi Rachel! Congrats on the new baby! Is your little one especially fussy about 1/2 hour after a feeding and while laying flat? Are you hearing a lot of the "pain cry?" My son started doing these things at about 2 months and ended up having reflux (GERD). We propped his bassinet when he slept, held him upright after meals, put him in the upright "big boy" stroller, and finally ended up getting him on medication. He's his happy self again after about 3 weeks of working on the tummy troubles. It's been a lifesaver for the whole family! Just something to think about. I didn't even consider reflux until my pediatrician mentioned it and it all clicked. Hope things get better soon!

I get smiles first thing in the am and right after a feeding...

Are you breast feeding or formula feeding? If you are on formula, which I was with my son, I found that he did not do well with Similac. Upset his stomach and the Organic Similac constipated him. I tried a different formula and found that Nestle Good Start did not upset him. It takes a week or so to transition and get used to a new formula but the change to Nestle worked for him and all the crying went away. I also got him on probiotics, which I think helped alot.

Good luck!

It can be so many things!! Unfortunately baby’s can’t talk so all they have in order to communicate discomfort or pain is to cry. He/she can be itchy, or the milk is causing gas (and of course pain) they just came out of the womb so they might feel weird things that for us would be normal. Is he/she constipated? Cramps?? Try to breath very deep and talk/sing to your baby. Ask him/her in a very loving manner what do you feel?? How can I help you? You would be surprised of the results. You might not speak the same language but the tone of your voice is all they need to be and feel safe. Remember, they depend on you 100%. If you get frustrated (I totally understand) they will feel that frustration and cry even more.

Don't feel bad for not having that moment yet! I promise it will come and when it does, you'll be completely amazed at how your little one completely owns your heart and soul.
I struggled with terrible guilt for weeks because I didn't have that moment until around 10-12 weeks and no one ever told me it was completely normal!
Being a new mom is SO hard. It's all work with very little reward (at first). The constant emotional and physical drain that your little one is taking on you is a big deal. Don't dismiss how hard this job is! Just because millions of people have done it before doesn't mean it isn't hard. Also, people keep having kids...because it does get better and its so worth the first weeks of hell!
I don't know if it will ever be easy but it will get more fun. Most days I dread going to work and rush home to spend with my 21 week old daughter....and some days I rush to work because it's been a rough night or she cried a lot. Either way, I don't beat myself up for it anymore.
My only advice is to try to get away. Have the baby's father or someone you trust watch her while you go get a massage or a pedicure or something where you can completely zone out. Or go see a movie. Try to get away each day or every other day to give yourself a break. If you're less stressed and happier, your baby will feel that too. Good luck and hang in there! I promise, before long these bad feelings will be a distant memory!

Sometimes it take a little while for babies to get used to this big world; that's why they call the first three months after birth the fourth trimester! That being said, if you really are feeling stressed out and worried that you baby is abnormally fussy, you can call the fussy baby network through Erikson institute. They helped tremendously with my son when he was a fussy baby!

http://www.fussybabynetwork.org/

I just wanted to tell you that I love your post! Every new mom I know I'm sure to tell them to not worry if you don't feel that "motherly bond" that evryone talks about! Trust me, you will but I felt it took some time. Just know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal & it gets better! I promise!

Hi Rachel:

Don't feel bad at all! The feelings you are having are completely normal. I went through exactly the same issues. The first 6 months were rather difficult for me. To be honest, when I went back to work, I shifted to a later work schedule so that I could be home in the morning, which was my little one's best time of the day. Hang in there - brighter days are ahead, I promise!!

I know this is going to sound funny but try taking her to a chiropractor. She may have a touch of colic or be slightly out of line from the birthing process. Most MD's would say that a chiropractor can do nothing to help but they can. Just give it a try and see if it helps. Let me know if it does. It is not you trust me.
God Bless,
S.

Sometimes you have to survive on those fleeting smiles! However, it will get better...it's not you...I think sometimes it just takes a WHILE to get to know each other.

I rented the DVD of Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp and it REALLY helped me...but I think that's for before they are 3 months old...now your daughter may be able to develop some coping skills on her own...but it's worth a try!

Good luck and hang in there!

This is not the way most babies are, they range from really great temperaments to cranky. Make those moments happen. Savor the times she is not crying by holding her close and looking at her face. Stare at her when she is asleep. You already know that your ideas of fairy tale are not helping in your adult life, so put them behind you, in this regard and in other regards. Be more realistic and practical. On the other hand, try to make some sweet moments, like dressing her up as prettily as you can afford. Do her hair, give her baths and smooth her with baby lotion so that she smells wonderful. She might be crying, but she will "smell like a baby should." I hope that you get the idea.

It sounds like your daughter is colicky. I would talk t your dr. about it. There are some old school rememdies (gripe water, you can get it from Walgreens), but I would talk to your ped first and see if he/she has any idea as to why your daughter is fussy. It could be a million things, so it doesn't hurt to call the dr and see if there is some advice they can give you.

my first child was also difficult. I was told it was colic. Well, there are things to consider...he/she may have a tummy ache. A variety of options are available (also did you talk to your pediatritian about this?)....try giving him/her an over the counter homeopathic remedy (there are drops called "colic" drops available at places like Health Food Stores, Whole Foods and others)...mylicon and antacid (available Walgreens, Walmart, etc) comes in an infant strength....change his/her formula (my kids could not tolerated Enfamil or Similac which are the most common brands) I found soy based formula best for my daughter,but my sister's children needed something else (Augmentin) that her doctor prescribed and lucky for her..the insurance covered!.....Perhaps he/she is too HOT!....some babies don't need to be dressed quite so warmly. Generally if you would wear a sweater, put one on baby, if you would wear shorts and a tank top, put similar weight clothes on baby. Some children find relief by rocking, others prefer the hum of a fan (or even a vaccum cleaner) in their rooms to help them sleep. (I assume your little one is not sleeping well either). Don't give up. NOT EVERY CHILD IS HAPPY< nor is every child "crabby". I'm sure in time you will find the answer and your precious bundle will be a delight.

Welcome to 1st time motherhood! :)
It happens to the best of us. LOL
And about that 'uh huh' moment of wow, this is motherhood, it doesn't happen right away for most people. You appreciate it more with time. In the beginning youre just trying to get through each day without falling over and screaming your head off. LOL
Hang in there -- it get MUCH MUCH better. You'll see -- you'll love it.

Hi Rachel...
You are totally normal, and your baby is normal! My kids were like that, my first being the worst! (my second having her moments as well, I only think I didn't think it was as bad cuz I had already went though it before!) :D

I feel for you because I remember feeling the way you do with my first. I thought I was a "bad mom" in a sense for not having everything "perfect" and everything coming completely natural, including the overwhelming feeling of not making my child happy. (Because it seemed like she cried more than anything else).
The truth is, she will feed off of you, and your frustration, try not to get upset at your baby when she is crying. One thing that helped me to do this was to think to myself "this to shall pass" and you know what? It did! I have two very happy little girls now! :)

Good luck!! And don't beat yourself up, just love your little bundle and try to enjoy the tears and smiles, they grow up quickly! :)

Blessings,
J.

Hi Rachel Have taken your son to his pediatrican? If not do so. His formula may need to be changed because he sounds like he colicky or it could be something else.

Hi Rachel,

I am a mom of four now, and can completely relate to the crying baby all day. It took me many weeks of trying everything possible until we discovered that my little boy had an under developed digestive system. I had tried to nurse, and he was still miserable, so we went with formula we thought things would be great, but they were not at first. We tried 6 different formulas until we ended up with a pre-digested one. It was Nutramigen. After about two weeks, he was like a different baby, and we were different parents. I am not saying that this is what your baby has, but we consulted many Dr's, and had many opinions before we found out what was wrong. The ironic thing is that when I delivered our last baby 20 months ago, he also had a rough first few weeks, and he also had belly issues, so he was put onto Enfamil-Gentle Ease formula,and within a few days he was doing great. Today, there are many more infants diagnosed with under developed digestive systems, colic, and reflux. Do not worry, but ask your Dr., and if you are not happy with the answers that you are getting seek other opinions. Good Luck!!!

Rachel

Parenting is no fun. It is a job. My sons cried all the time. They were sick. They still our. When my oldest was three he told me when I was upset over something and telling him he should not do that an important thing. At three he said "But I am trying to tell you my side of the story!" In that moment I realized my job. I had to guide not control the situation.

You are not a bad parent because she cries. She is letting you know she is unhappy. Just love her. Incourage her. Realize it is not you. It takes lots of time to figure it all out. Relax and enjoy her. Stay in your pg all day together. Do not clean house our go any were. Just be her mom. She is probably a more sensitive personn then some. She knows you are upset and feel like a failure. You are a great mom because you care about her. I know se is beautiful. Do not worry about what others think. What you two think is important.