FB For Kids...?

I have a 10 year old daughter & an almost 12 year old son. Neither of them has a facebook account, or even their own email address. Neither of them has a cell phone, either. Recently my son has been asking for a cell phone & I've made it very clear to both of them that they are allowed to have a cell phone just as soon as they are old enough to work a regular part-time job (jr. or sr. year of high school) & pay for one. I feel like that's fair because by the time that rolls around they will be responsible enough to handle it. They are given no time frame for email or networking websites, mostly because they haven't asked, but even if they did, I may just go with the whole, "Because I said so" line.

My husband is a Sheriff's Deputy & works full-time in a middle school. We are well aware what kids are doing, how they are acting, & the way they think. For all of those reasons & then some, I believe no kids need networking sites. They're kids! What in the world would they need to network for? If either of my kids wants to talk to one of their friends or their aunt or grandmother, they can pick up the phone & call any of them.

It depends...

Looked at another way: EVEN grown up ADULTS... have a hard time.... controlling themselves on FB and have a hard time, being "appropriate" and safe... per their personal information they display. And even Grown-ups on FB... bully, talk stink about others, put up inappropriate photos, put too much information on it, and get approached by "weird" people wanting to friend them.

Even adults.... do this. And act this way. And even adults, do not know how to act... online on social networking sites.

I'll repeat what I've said before.
Yes, there are large numbers of underage people on Facebook. They delete roughly 20,000 underage accounts every day and that barely scratches the surface of the estimated 7 million that are there because their parents allow and/or create pages for their kids.
I've never been one to run with the lemmings.
If 7 million people do something stupid, the sheer number of them doing it does not make it any less stupid.
Kids (even teenagers) do not have the maturity to consider their audience when they post to public places. There's cyber bullying (kids/young adults have committed suicide over it), there's people who have lost jobs over it, there's stalkers and predators.
My son is 12. He's not interested in Facebook and he won't have an account as long as he lives in my house. At his age right now - he needs to be outside flying kites, riding bikes, chasing with the neighbors dog, etc. He's got a lifetime of sitting in front of a screen and keyboard and once he's an adult and on his own, if he wants a raging case of carpel tunnel syndrome, he can then pursue it with all his heart.
I feel I'm protecting his childhood and his right to play (outside) while he may.

My opinion is no. Facebook is about social connections, and a young child should not make social connections online. A teenager, maybe, but only with transparency and supervision. It certainly depends on the maturity of the teen and her friends and the stability of her relationships. Kids friend everyone. I only friend people I know and like and who like me. If my child can't make that distinction, then FB is no place for her. I would guess 14-15 at the youngest and maybe more like 16-17. My child is 7, so heaven knows what FB will be by then.

FB rules state no one under 13 can have an account.

Simply not allowed in our house. My oldest DD is 11. We will not lie for her to use a service prohibited for her age, nor will I condone her doing it. Like most in her generation, she already has more than enough access to screen time. She has her own laptop for school and limited personal use. She has an Ipod touch. We have a Wii. She emails some with grandparents and friends. Our child security software on her PC is extremely high. She is not able to access any social networking sites. We get an email about every single blocked site she even tries to access. Honestly, she doesn't even seem to care. She never talks about FB. My 3rd grader piped up when the FB word came up in coversation a few months ago that she would like to have one because her best friend does. I just said no. We will not lie and tell the site you are 13 when you are 9. Maybe it helps that neither DH nor myself use FB.

My son is 8. He has a very limited, very secure FB account. He plays games and VERY occasionally IMs a buddy or two.
Our computer is in our family room and, really, he spends less that a half hour per week on FB.

My older girls have accounts, with my approval. I check them often. I have even unfriended some and blocked people due to the horrible language they post (and these are kids their age!) or any feeling that they might not be who they say. If I think someone is inappropriate, I take them off. They do have to tell me who everyone is and how they know them. It helps them connect to friends from a former school that they do not get to see. Their pages are viewed by friends only. The computer is in the frontroom and they each get an hour time to either play games or FB. I have talked to them about the "games" and "quizzes" available through FB and how these are actually run by outside sources that can sell your remail so you get more garbage. Plus I have taught them the right ways to talk to people on line --no giving out personal info. I have also checked to see who is checking them out. One of my girls was being checked on by some guy. I did not like that but nothing came of it--he could have been looking for someone with a similar name.

I think that there is too much information a young child can distribute about him/herself on any networking site. I think it's different to set up the child with a specific game on YOUR account under your direct supervision than it is to let him or her loose. Even a "kid site" like Neopets and Club Penguin has people trolling for little kids and skirting the rules. I think that the age limits for FB are bare minimum and that even then your teen needs to know about privacy. My sks may not care so much about privacy (posting school and year info though we tell them not to) but it comes back to bite people. Also, FB has no respect for privacy, either. I don't post things I don't want online in general, so there are no pictures of my little girl there. Never know what stupid thing FB will do later.

So, evaluate the next "it" thing and make choices based on that evaluation, and don't be afraid to set limits.

My kids have accounts but that is so my sisters can link pictures to them and I can go crazy on the privacy settings. They can't actually access them. I would be fine with them playing the games and whatnot so long as the crazy privacy setting I have up stayed the same.

MY VOTE IS ~ NO, FB
and
No internet for small children without an adult sitting by their side the WHOLE TIME.

One wrong move on the internet and SURPRISE......

Safety first.

My son is 12, going into 8th grade in the fall. He does not have a FB of his own. He has friends who do. It isn't so much for the games I don't think--not at their age anyway. If they want games they go on their DS or iPod or PSP or play on their computer (not FB, but actual purchased games like Call of Duty or whatever), or on the Wii. What they like them for is for uploading videos and watching each others video stuff. Yes, it is possible for them to upload things they shouldn't. But generally (at least my son's friends who do this) they seem to load 'stupid' little videos that are just nothing. I mean... the kid will narrate themselves making a batch of cookies with a friend or something. Or video themselves choosing what movie to watch while "discussing" the virtues of their possible choices. Dumb stuff. But they are KIDS and find it all very entertaining apparently. LOL

I don't plan on letting our kids have one for a long time. It is far too easy for them to get comfortable posting things that shouldn't be posted (see an earlier thread from a few weeks ago about people posting inappropriate status updates)... that the rest of the world just doesn't need to know.

my niece is 12 and has her own account but is not allowed to be friends with any adults and my sister has full access to check it when she wants to which was part of their agreement. My niece also has to explain who every friend is and how she knows her in order to keep strangers off of her account who could be adults posing as children. I think as long as the child is responsible and accepts rules to FB then it is okay. Although some viruses are spread via FB the school got hit hard so they dont allow students to access FB at school. I also like the fact that her mom or adults arent allowed due to some postings Ive made and other adults make, not for childrens eyes that is for sure.

Yes my son is 10 and has a fb account. I have the password and monitor it pretty much daily. He is mostly friends with his cousins/aunts and uncles. Some friends from school. He likes to play some of the games on it. He knows that if he accepts a friends request that I have not approved, or if I see anything inappropriate it will be deleted. He has had it for about 8 months and there have not been any issues.

My oldest has one, but only set it up to play a game (he is 17). Has never gone back to it. He communicates with other means with his friends on computer. (there is more than fb, twitter and even im'ing to do this). My youngest (11) doesn't have one yet. I am not going encourage it all. He is the type that will friend everyone.

All my grandkids have a FB account, their ages are changed to make them adults and their profiles are strictly hidden. They can play games and are neighbors with only people I personally know, or people that my friends personally know. I trust my friends and if they allow their kids to be friends with these people then I can trust them too, they have no personal information on their profile though.

Our girl can read so I let her chat with her brothers and her other grandparents. Our family computer is in the living room, maybe 10 feet from the stove so even if I have my back to them I can see and hear whatever they are doing at all times.

They have no personal friends on their that I have not allowed. Half the time I get on and don't check and I am on one account or another.

I would never allow them to use the computer at all in a secluded area of the house. I think all computer usage should be for open viewing by anyone.

If you are comfortable with them playing the games then you are making a good choice for your family...
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To the other moms who say no, you do realize that if their friends have them they will also have them and use an alias email account...their friends will let them use their computers and help them make the alias email accounts to get on and then no one is monitoring their usage. I would much rather have them using it right there in my living room with me watching and playing alongside them.

FB's rules say you must be 13 to have an account.

If you let kids have it before that, you and they are breaking the rules.

Which leads logically, for the kid, to this: "Well, we got me a FB account and I'm not old enough. So why can't I..." Fill in the blank with whatever other thing the kid wants that he or she is not old enough or mature enough to have. Getting kids FB accounts against the rules is demonstrating to them that rules do not apply to them. That won't work so well in the real world.

And my daughter can have an FB account when she is out of my house and old enough to pay for it herself. And I'd still discourage her then. It's a huge invasion of privacy, and kids have no idea that what they put on there -- any dumb picture etc. -- can be seen by any school official, college admissions officer, or future employer. Even if you do "privacy settings, " it can all get out. Not worth it. Oh - and strangers can "friend" kids; there was an article in the Washington Post recently about one kid in our area, 14, who suddenly found adults who were total strangers friending him because he hadn't turned on all the privacy settings. Creepy and dangerous.