Early Sign of Puberty?

Updated on October 30, 2012
S.L. asks from Lansing, MI
8 answers

Hi again.
My daughter is 9, almost 10 and has always been an upbeat healthy kid. Lately though for about the past week, she hasn't felt well, its more headaches, no fever. Her skin seems a little oilier as well. Her breasts have started "budding" and she was moody a couple weeks ago. Her and I are very open and we talk a lot about everything so I want to be sure that I am guiding her along right if she is starting puberty. I know if she is starting puberty this may only be the early signs, but I just want to know if I am thinking right?

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So What Happened?

Her and I have talked a lot about what she is to expect, she has asked questions, and I have made a little "kit" that she carries in her backpack with pads, and wipes. She is confident and comfortable. I am just wondering if her period itself sounds close.
Thanks for the info!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like you are to me. I started my period when I was her age. The other thing to look for is BO.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

It does sound like the precursor to puberty. This can be a long process. My daughter started getting hips when she was 9 and started having to wear undershirts. Her skin also became oily and her hair was greasy (even when I'd wash it). Right around her 10th birthday, I got her some bras and gave her a book called The Care and Keeping of You. It's an American Girl book that you can find at Target, Amazon, Barnes and Noble etc...We reviewed it together so she knows what's coming (underarm hair, pubic hair, her period). She's 10.5 and still has no underarm hair or pubic hair. I've been told she will get that approximately six months before her period starts.

So, like I said the early signs can be present long before it actually starts. Just make sure she knows what to expect.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes, these sound just like signs of puberty. You have the outward signs for sure (breast buds, oilier skin -- acne is soon to follow so be aware of that). The moodiness may be part of it too.

Be certain she is drinking enough water (not having enough hydration can cause headaches) and not eating much refined sugar (which lurks in many products and can also cause headaches, or if a kid eats a lot of it, the lack of sugar becomes a cause of headaches -- get her off it gradually). Ensure she is getting enough protein, to build her growing muscles, and calcium, to build her growing bones.

Exercise can help generate the endorphins in our brains that help us feel the "exercise high" and lifts our moods, so get her into something fun -- have her moving, even if it's dancing indoors because the weather's bad outdoors. Make it fun and not a chore - let her have friends over for a dance party, or take her out for a lot of winter snowball fights, or walk around the mall vigorously with her.

What does SHE know about what's happening to her? You have had a talk about puberty, right? Or she has learned about it in health class at school by now? Either way, even if she's had the talk, I very strongly recommend the American Girl book "The Body Book for Girls," which talks about puberty and periods and breast development etc. but does so in a very appropriate way and does not discuss sex (leaving that up to parents). It is excellent. You don't have to find an American Girl store to get one -- most large bookstores like Barnes and Noble carry it too. Get it, read it yourself, give it to her and let her absorb it and talk to her about it.

If you and she are close and open, and it sounds like you are, pick a time when she is in a good mood, does not have homework hanging over her head etc. and tell her that you think maybe her headaches, etc. are down to her changing body. Give her the book over a cup of hot chocolate. Tell her she can tell you anything and everything and together you can work out ways to help her feel better.

Most of all you want her to understand that this isn't a disease or something wrong with her or something she's done wrong -- it's normal, it's not always pleasant, but it's OK, and information is power; the more she understands, the less she will worry, and eventually she will be able to think, "Man, I am cranky -- wait, that may be my hormones more than me, myself. I can work past that."

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

Sounds about right!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

My younger daughter, now 25, and my granddaughter started their periods at 10, my other granddaughter started at about 9.5 yrs. Girls are starting puberty earlier than ever.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Get the "American Girl" book series.
It is for this age, Tweens.
Tweens are from 2-12 years old.
There is one about "The Care & Keeping Of You."
It is a good book, and meant for the child to read and to talk about it with the Mom.
I have it. My daughter likes it. She just made 10.

Also beware, that some girls even at 9 years old... start to get their periods. But you are anticipating that.

Also, I assume she wears deodorant?
By this age, kids are smelly under their arms.

And yes, Tweens, as they go through puberty and/or get their periods, suffer from PMS and hormonal moodiness, too.
Its hard for women to experience, and it can be so hard for a Tween/Teen girl, too.

And, take your daughter to her well-child check up.
Since she is almost 10.
You can speak to your Pediatrician about it at the appointment, too.

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter started at 8 and has all the symptoms except the oily hair and skin. Her doctor said her period won't likely be starting before she's 12. I wouldn't worry about it yet. Her period is most likely quite a way off but relax because worrying about it won't help. You have done the best thing for her; talking to her, giving her the little kit and cultivating such on open and honest relationship with her.
I am waiting for the period as it means she is now a woman. I plan on taking her out and celebrating, just the two of us.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I second "The Care and Keeping of You" books. My daughter has read them and they've led to many questions, even though I've been very open and have talked with her a lot, she liked reading the info from the books.

It's hard to predict when exactly a girl will get her first period. My daughter is 10 1/2 and sounds very similar to yours as far as the signs of puberty. She also has the pack in her backpack with pads and clean underwear.

She has a friend who had very little sign of puberty and started her period at 10, and another friend who's shown signs of puberty since 9 and is 13 and still no period. So, only time will tell.

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