Discipline Tips for a 1-Year-old

a child take a lot to learn ,yes you need to discipline her and make it seriously and and teach her from right and wrong she has to learn a lot before she reach 3 or 4 year old. sometime a little time out on a chair or something for 3 minute will teach her not be bad girl and when she get old enough you can set that child down at 5 minute ,they hate time out.and you can ask her why she is on the time out chair and she will tell you and a little hug will make the child happy.I saw this on nanny TV show and I love her!On the change table I would not leave her and tell her and make a straight look to her and tell her you mean it. It is like a time out same thing she will lay there and she will know you mean it.

Hi C.,
Sounds funny but this is something that has worked wonders for us... if she likes to say Bye Bye or wave this might be a trick for you. This has really helped us reduce tantrums in our son from age 14 months until now 20 months and a great compromise to saying NO all the time... Tell her she cannot play with that and have her wave bye bye to it. For whatever reason this allows them to have a physical action (waving) which replaces the desire to touch it... hope it helps. I always figure that if you try 10 things at least one is likely to work for you! Cheers!

I sure hope you find something that works. Good luck !

Hi C., I'm laughing reading this. Its been a little over a year since I was in your shoes. I had so many frustrated days over the dog food being dumped into the water bowl, spilled things, destroyed things...I read in a parent magazine that babies by 9 months could usually utter mama, dada, and no. I was shocked so me and my husband decided we wouldn't say no. We said "not for babies," "boys who throw toys don't get to play," and no sounding sounds. Sounds stupid at first, but it was easier than saying no 100 times a day.

Shortly after we started 1 minute time outs. I would give a warning (would you like to put that down or would you like a timeout?) If the behavior kept up I would simply say your on 1 minute timeout for not listening. (NOT FOR WHATEVER THE BEHAVIOR WAS!!!) This is key to reinforcing positive behavior. I would sit with my son, any spot of floor works well, who seemed slightly confused at first, while on timeout for his minute. When it was up I would say you have to listen to mommy and daddy. Say sorry mommy. (Of course he couldn't say it, but trust me it sticks!)

Now my son is 27 months and has fantastic behavior. Babies are so much smarter than what we give them credit for. By 15-16 months he could sign "sorry, mommy" and by 2 years we rarely had to give daily timeouts. My son listens VERY well! Usually if I see negative behavior I stop and ask him, "Would you like to stop hitting the tv with your drum stick, or would you like a time out?" He gets the hint and we can usually avoid the timeout completely. Whatever you choose you have to be dilligent. We wanted to focus on him listening to us not the bad behavior. I am really glad I was consistant and didn't give up. We also taught him some basic signs for things, more, milk, cracker, food, sorry, mom, dad, ect..which really eased the frustration on figuring out what he wanted, and lessened the terrible twos. Good Luck, email me if you want more info. S.

My kids are older now, so my memory may be a bit skewed, but these are some things I remember doing successfully.
-It does no good to anyone to wish that your kid was calm, cooperative, and well-behaved like your best friend's baby.
-Babyproof everything possible and more. Sit down on the floor one night in each of your rooms and look all around it, in each crevice, in each corner. If you were a 1 y/o, what could you reach? Using your imagine, how could you get hurt? Then eliminate the issue.
For instance, I had to position the crib close to the front of the dresser in the baby's room. I had realized that the baby could open the drawers and then climb up them. The dresser could then fall on top of the baby if I didn't block it. I had to double-baby-gate (one on top of the other) all of our child-proof rooms.
-Entertain (suddenly start singing), distract, and/or startle (sudden clap, kick the wall by accident, make a noise, etc.) if you see her about to do something wrong.
-Stern face (with gruff voice) vs. happy, smiley face (with praise and bounce). They want to be pleasing you.
-When they understood a little bit better, I'd count slowly to 3, using 1/2s, 1, 1 1/2, 2, 2 1/2, etc., saying "I better not get to 3". Eventually, they knew that if I was counting, they better stop what they were doing and figure out quickly what was wrong. I never got to 3 (although sometimes I had to break it down into 1/4s).
Maybe that's why they never had trouble with fractions. ;)
-I'd REALLY suddenly yell (startling the child) "hot" if I saw a kid reach for the stove, whether it was cold or hot. Then I'd go on with whatever we were doing or manipulate our play into another room, so there wasn't excess attention to the bad thing.
-I absolutely, completely ignored them throwing food. I let them play with it early, and never really had a problem with them throwing it after they were about 8-9 months old. Food, like everything else they're exploring is just another toy. They didn't get rewarded by negative attention. They didn't get the food back that they threw on the floor (dogs), either.
I hope some of these ideas help. Good luck!!

Wow! You and I and our situations are complete mirror images! I read your question and your personal description, and it is very strange that EVERY detail of it is exactly like me! Even stranger, I live in your area also! LOL

Anyway....I have found that a mix of methods seems to work for us. There are certain behaviors that we ignore...when we know for sure that it is our reaction to the behavior that is causing it in the first place. This works like magic in those situations. Just be patient...it may take a week for this to work, but it will! For the trash issue, we have started to give her a task of throwing things away. She has learned that the trash can has a function, and isn't just a toy. She will throw away what we ask, we praise her for it, and she gets excited and walks away....just keep an eye on her, she may start to throw away things that aren't trash also - but at least she no longer plays in the trash! I don't have an answer for the dog food - we also have 2 dogs, and haven't learned how to handle that one yet, so we pick it up. We do actively have her hand feed ours to build the relationship and trust between them, though.

For the changing table, we actually have started to change her on the floor or on a bed, or in her crib...when I do use the changing table, we tend to strap her in, or give her a toy to play with that isn't something she has outside of the changing table...or give her the brush we use on her hair. Distraction with something new and exciting seems to work in these instances.

Feel free to write to me directly...I would love to share tips, etc!

I suggest telling your child what you WANT them to do instead of to stop doing something. A child's attention span is the size of a gnat's, so for example, if you tell your daughter to "stop running" all she might hear is "running". Instead you should tell her to "use your walking feet" or just plain "walk." Putting positive pictures in her head of what you want her to do also give your more opportunities to praise her when she does something right.
As far as her behavior in the bathroom, try redirecting her away from the toilet. Is there a drawer of safe stuff she could explore in the bathroom while you get ready? Could she play with a hairbrush? My little boys both liked to get into my bathroom drawers so much that I took out all the breakable stuff and just let them play. They soon outgrew the phase.
Hope this helps! Hang in there!

I'm 51, 'Mom' to 4 grown kids and 'Mom-Mom' to 3 little 'Grands', and I LOVE parenting (and grandparenting! LOL).

You're on the right track with 'praise good behavior and ignore bad behavior', but that's (obviously) not enough in and of itself.

I'll tell you the same thing I told another poster on today's Mamasource. For a child to take you seriously, you FIRST have to believe in yourself as a disciplinarian. She already thinks that your 'firmness' is a joke, and if you don't change that ASAP, she's going to be laughing in your face when she's 17 (and at every age between now and then).

The best one-line advice my mom ever gave me was, "Don't say anything to a child unless you mean it." That's so simple, but it's totally profound. Don't fuss. Don't threaten (empty threats). Don't tell them not to do something when you really want them TO do it (reverse psychology). Say it. Mean it. Make it happen. Calmly and firmly. Watch a few episodes of Nanny 911. I love that show. They're even more gentle natured than I am, but I admire their effectiveness.

You can take some pleasure in knowing your child sounds pretty bright! Curiosity/testing boundaries/over-exploring comes from an active mind! I agree with most of the postings, but would add that counting to three (a slow and stern 1-2-3) can work wonders when it is CONSISTANTLY followed by some form of discipline, such as a time out/being taken away from a fun situation/or even a swat on the behind (but I am NOT in favor of a spare the rod mentality!) Once they know you consistantly mean business, they will definately pay attention when the counting starts! (There's a book called 1,2,3 Magic that is supposed to be great!)

Good luck!

Tough age, but it is not too soon to start the motions. Here is a great book that is as close to a manual as you might get:

"How to behave so your pre-schooler will too."
By, Sal Severe

I was doing a pretty good job, but after reading this, I tweaked my methods & saw results in just a few days, especially with my defiant 3 year old.

It is not un-like dog training, really. You are not teaching the dog to do something - you are teaching the trainer to communicate effectively with the dog.

Check it out of the library, it is an easy read & will help you feel like it is possible!

P. : )

We use a Graco Tot Block pack and play. If she breaks a rule she gets a warning and the second time she goes straight into the playpen for timeout. I explain the infraction and plop her in for a couple of minutes. She hates it and it works.

Your voice is a great dicipline tool. Make your voice harsh and stern when warning and correction but make up quickly after his timeout is served.

It's also important to offer trust. Don't hover or stare at him after the first warning. Many times a kid will do it again if your looking but won't do it if you aren't looking. Willful children are bad out of stuborness sometimes.

Watch the Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD. It's a great lesson in how to dicipline and work with toddlers to get their best behavior. Works like a charm.

I'm right there with you - my daughter is the same age! Every child is different, but yeah I like the praise good behavior and ignore bad strategy for the most part. I find that the best ones to ignore are things like whining - things that are not dangerous and are not battles I want to fight. Sometimes mimicking her whining makes her laugh, but then I think I'm probably reinforcing the behavior. I just Redirect, Redirect, Redirect. So, say no, then show her an incompatible behavior you want her to do instead - give her a different toy or book - keep some in reserve so they are "new" and interesting, get her started with a puzzle in a different room, etc. Our biggest danger issue at the moment is standing in the bath tub. But after about a week of consistently making her sit and giving her a ducky or a bath book to play with and praising her for sitting she doesn't stand up much anymore. And when she does we always respond the same way "We sit in the bath tub" make her sit, give ducky. I even use the ducky thing for teeth brushing. If she has something in her hands she doesn't try to take the toothbrush from me and lets me brush. Transition objects are great - if she won't leave one room to go to another, giving her an object to carry to another room works. I also sing a lot - a song for getting in the high chair, for changing diapers, whatever. If I don't know a song, I make one up to the tune of a regular song. It seems like all about redirection and distraction and consistency at this age. Best of luck - I'm right there with ya!

I have the same child only in boy form....lol. Everything is funny and he only wants to do the dangerous stuff. You would not believe where we could find him if we look away for more than a minute. We tend to ask him to sit down 1st and then if he does not sit then we remove him from 'standing on the table' and walk away. So while he is in protest we ignore that behavior. It last for about 5 seconds now. Also, if it is something that we've asked him not to do for what seems like a thousand times we let him know that this is the last time we'll ask and then he's going to time out. We sit him wherever for exactly two minutes and this is the worst thing in the world to him. But we make him stay still. Then when time is up we ask if he's ready to play nice and he usually babbles something and stops his crying and we hug and let him down. It's still trying everyday but we are making progress. Some things we let him do...like climbing up in a chair. We stay near him, but allow him to learn what he is capable of doing. We teach him to sit once he has climbed up and this seems to give him a great sense of accomplishment. So we establish boundaries as to which crazy things are dangerous and which things are okay with caution. Good luck to you guys. Now I'm going to read all of the responses to see what other fun tricks I can learn.

Your daughter sounds just like my 8 month old - we're having the same battles at the changing table, dog dish etc. I just quit using the changing table over the fear that she would flip off of it one day! I'm interested to read the advice you're getting!