Curly Hair Problems

Don't comb (or brush) curly hair! I only comb my hair when it is wet and has conditioner in it. If I comb it when it is dry 1) it would hurt 2) it would look crazy!

Are you combing it when it's dry or when it's wet? I have curls and I have never never ever combed my hair when it's dry. I use a wide-tooth comb when it's wet and that's it.

I have NEVER even owned a brush. Only comb thru it after her bath. At night put it in a scrunchy/hair band. Everyone else gave great advice about moisturizing.

Curls are different for sure and they need to be treated gently.
First buy the widest tooth comb you can find. Sally Beauty probably has the best selection. Second find a spectacular leave-in conditioner. My favorite is Redken Soft Curls curl refiner but since she's just 4 - Circle of Friends has really great products designed for kids, invest in the shampoo and rinse out conditioner as well. Third buy her a satin pillowcase-it allows curls to slip and slide and keeps them from tangling so much vs a cotton pillow case (my boys are both wild sleepers so it could be an easier said than done thing because neither of them wake up on their pillows but it can help ;D). When her hair is wet in the tub/shower after shampooing and with conditioner sitting on it use the comb to work out the tangles from the bottom to the top. Then rinse. Catch the drips by blotting with a towel. While her hair is still fairly wet use the leave-in then dry gently. Either by blotting or using a microfiber towel. If there are still tangles work through them again with the comb. Regular trims also help a lot, as in every 6-8 weeks.

Get the book Curly Girl. It really helps.

Some tips:
Do not wash with shampoo every day. It will dry curly hair out. If needed, get hair wet, do not add shampoo, and just massage scalp. Then use conditioner. Comb hair with a wide-tooth comb or with fingers while conditioner is in. Do not rinse conditioner all the way out.
The book suggests putting hair gel into hair while hair is sopping wet and then carefully blotting hair with an old t-shirt instead of a towel. You can do this while standing in the bath/shower so the floor does not get all wet. Then let hair air-dry.
You can also make a very nice freshening spray for hair by boiling some water, letting it simmer about 30 min, adding a few drops of lavender oil and a bit of conditioner, then put in a spray bottle. This is what I use to freshen up my hair without washing it every day, or to make the curls look more defined.
I really like Deva Curl products. Deva An-Gel is great, it does not leave hair crunchy but makes curls nice and defined. It is about $15.00 for an 8-oz bottle on Amazon.com and that will last me a few months.

I have extremely curly hair and yes, it hurts to comb or brush it.

Here's my routine...before I wash it (each morning) I pick it out with a very wide-toothed pick (and I am just used to the pain...there's no getting over it, really, but for a child I imagine it sucks) and then I wash it and condition it each morning.

When you wash and condition, try not to do like you probably do with your own hair and scrub and suds it in circles. Instead, attempt to suds it up with vertical motions, keeping the hair from becoming a big rats nest. This is especially helpful when applying conditioner...downward strokes.

Then, when you towel dry, again, just pat, squeeze, or rub with downward motions...do not "toussle" it with a towel.

Immediately comb it with a VERY wide-toothed comb or pick...you can even break off every other tooth on a pick if you have to.

That's what I do, and that's the best I can do.

Those are the only times I comb my hair...immediately before and immediately after washing.

I don't have curly hair but my best friend does. I introduced her to a Matrix product called Smoothing Shine Milk. It is a leave in solution. It really helps her when it comes to the frizz and combing her hair. She also uses a wide toothed comb or pick when she is brushing her hair. She also never brushes it when it is dry. Also, we use an oil made by Organix. It is all natural, and doesn't leave the hair looking greasy. The Matrix product can be bought at an Ulta store and the Organix oil can be bought just any where from Walmart to Walgreens (Osco and Dominicki's included)

Hope this helps!!

I have naturally curly hair. Yes, it is very painful to put a comb through curly hair. I use a pick for styling, and a very wide-toothed brush before and after washing my hair. Keeping curly hair moisturised is key to controlling the frizz. I now use a special oil that my hairdresser sells because I like the smell, but when I was a kid my mother just used a little olive oil. Put one drop of oil on your hands and rub them together. Then run your fingers through your daughters hair after washing it.

I agree with the other mama on not using a circular motion to wash her hair. Imagine opening and closing your hand into and out of a fist. That is the sort of motion you want to use to wash her hair. As for applying conditioner spread you fingers wide and run them through her hair in a downwards motion. Make sure that you wait long enough when you apply conditioner as well. Most people tend to put it on and rinse immediately. The conditioner actually has to penetrate the hair folicle to work, and that usually take about 2-3 minutes.

I usually wrap a towel around my hair and leave it for about ten minutes. Then I just pat it dry to get any excess water. I prefer to let my hair dry naturally. Use a diffuser if you blow dry her hair. When you put her hair into a pony tail, use your fingers to pull it back. Then, use a pick and only use it to smooth out any huge lumps by gently pushing a little, close to her scalp where you want to secure the ponytail.

I brush my hair before I wash it to remove any loose strands. If my hair is dry, then I put a drop of oil in my hair. Make sure you start at the bottom ends of her hair when you use a brush. Running a pick through it first is also a good idea, again starting from the bottom ends.

Hope your little girl can enjoy getting her hair styled and that you don't have to feel like going through a war.

Good luck,
D.

ETA: Curly hair only really needs to be washed every 2-3 days. Shampoo can really dry it out.

Been there, done that!! My daughter's hair was below her waist when we finally cut it. Broke my heart but we both knew it was time. She was nine or ten so you can bet I'd dealt with the nasty tangles quite a bit. But her hair was beautiful so for the most part, it was worth it.

The best thing that worked for us was when it's wet, start at the bottom, working your way up and work in small sections to brush it out. Use a bristle brush, not a comb. I know you said you've tried everything, but have you tried Johnson's No More Tangles products? They actually do help a little bit.

Also, does your daughter want to keep her hair long? I had to realize that for about the last year of my daughter having long hair it was more because I wanted it, not her.

Good luck!!

What texture is her hair?

I don't brush DD's hair much at all. I finger comb the conditioner through at night and pick at it where necessary. The conditioner acts like a detangler. When I do need to brush her dry hair, I use detangler and a very wide comb or brush with plastic bristles (not the close ones but the Goodey black handle with the white bristles). Most of the time I just split her hair with my fingers and make the pigtails, even if the part is not perfect. Or I just gather it all up for a ponytail.

You might also consider braiding her hair after a bath to minimize the whole bed tangles thing.

My DD's hair is fairly fine and long. Doing little to her hair other than to condition it nightly seems to work for us.

Our seven year old granddaughter has really curly hair, but never has had issues about combing through it. Never! I don't know what is different here. She has been on Vemma Next since she was two, which is good for the hair and skin. Makes the hair just shine! You could try it, and if it isn't making a difference, there is an empty bottle money back guarantee. Tastes wonderful. Drink two ounces a day poured out in little dose glass that comes with it.

read about it at http://annnoblehealth.com (part of the Children's Miracle Network for it does wonders for children in all areas. )

I have very curly hair and as I child my Mother kept it very short most of the time. That will help. Brush it before washing it to avoid tangles. Keep it in pony or pigtails if it is long when she is playing if she can stand that. I don't remember it hurting when my Mom brushed (not combed) my hair, but I do remember a tight braid or pony tail could hurt.

Hi T.,

My 6 year old son has very curly hair, too. Spirals. He is a mix of black and Italian. We have problems once in a while, but for the most part it isn't too bad.

I only wash his hair 2-3 times a week and when I do, I deep condition it. I use thick conditioner (Nexus Humectress). It helps to run a wide tooth comb through it while the conditioner has been on the hair for a few minutes already. I basically let it sit in his hair while he finishes bathing or showering. Every single day, whether it's been washed or not, I put a leave in conditioner in it after wetting it thoroughly, then comb it through.

I had tried a few different leave-in products until I found "Nature's Baby Organic leave-in conditioner". I buy it at Market Street, where it's cheaper than it is at Sprouts. It may also be available at Whole Foods and/or Central Market.

I have had many mom's approach me to ask what I put in his hair. Not only is it easier to comb through, but his curls look great! Silky smooth!

Good luck to you and your daughter! It's no fun starting the day like that, for either of you!

I know that a little Moroccan Oil can leave curly hair feeling soft, frizz free and manageable. I have no idea however if it's safe to use it on a 4 year old, I'd ask a stylist at a salon.

I have curly hair and so does my five year old. I don't brush or comb it at all. In the shower while its got conditioner in it, I'll run my fingers through it just a little bit, to get any big tangles out. That's it. Put my product in and scrunch with knit, not terry cloth (it makes it frizzy). I do my daughter's hair the same way. Now that she is bigger and her hair is almost to her waist, she takes showers instead of baths. It's just easier for me. If we are going swimming, I braid her hair. Also, I got both of us a satin pillow case.

Hi! My background - I am a foster mom with straight short hair and no biological daughters, so when my little foster daughter walked through the door at almost 3 years old with tiny kinky African American curls (type 4C if you are familiar with the number classifications of curls), I knew I had a lot of learning to do QUICK! Nikki at Three Sister's Beauty Supply in Plano turned me on to my lifesaver - a web site called Chocolate Hair / Vanilla Hair (www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com) created by an adoptive caucasian mom who has a now 5 year old African American daughter - they are also on Face Book and tons of moms (both Chocolate and Vanilla) ask each other's advice on all kinds of curls, from some wavy vanilla hair, to curlier biracial hair, all the way to girl's like mine, with the tightest kinkiest curls you've seen. My poor girl - she had to live through my learning with her tender little head. Not sure of your daughter's exact hair type, but here is my routine I learned over the year -with my girl's Chocolate kinky curls - washed once a week with a sulfate-free shampoo, co-washed (washing with just conditioner) twice week, then detangled before I even got her out of the tub so it would be soaking wet. To detangle I used my very favorite leav-in/detangler, Kinky Curly Knot Today (top shelf in the ethnif hair care section at Target), combed in sections with a wide tooth comb and/or a Tangle Teezer, then loosely twisted each section to keep it detangled and out of the way as I went along. I could either put pony o's on the ends of the twists to hold them for a style, or temporary style until I could do something more involved, or let them loose to let her where her hair free. If your daughter is not African American or biracial, I have still heard a few of the moms with less curly or coarse hair use some of the same prodects and routines, though you may need to go a bit lighter on the Kinky Curly Knot Today if it seems to weigh her hair down. I actually mixed mine with some water in a spray bottle (makes it last so much longer!) and a little bit of oil to seal the moisture in (the oil is definitely something you would use for African-American hair types). Hope something in there might help you, if only the web site! (0: