Child Proofing My Home

since she owns some of these childproofing items, (a good deal of them are small) why not have her pack them? When I traveled with my kids I packed them with no problem. My kids are older now--and an aside--we still pack night lights so that we don't stumble around in the dark in hotels rooms..

Lynda,
Go get boxes from the supermarket or the liquor store. They are free. Wrap the breakables in newspaper, put in box, tape, put under bed.
Look under sinks and get all poisons out of there. PUt in box on high shelf out of reach of the little loves. All sprays, cleansers, etc. Poisoning is a real danger.
The only other danger is a book case that can be pulled over. Attach to wall with wire and molly screws.
You might want to go to the Dollar store, buy a plastic sheet, some play doh, crayons and paper (not coloring books) and some sponge or whiffle balls. Busy kids don't get into as much trouble.
Also DVDs and books from the public libray.
Almost free and a bearable 3 weeks.
Good luck, I hope you have a good time. These kids need to feel welcomed and loved by someone. Must be really stressfu for them.

I am not sure what your relationship with your cousin is, and you didn't say what ages her children are, but i think i would have to tell her that you will HELP HER childproof your home, once she arrives. Childproofing can be relatively inexpensive. You could pack breakables in old clothes or towels, and store them in a specific closet (say in your room), that your cousin's children arent' allowed in. Closing doors to bedrooms and bathrooms is another way to instantly childproof a room. If you stick a sock or small towel or something else of that nature high up between the door and the door frame, when you close the door, it will be harder to open, though not inmpossible. I think you need to make it clear to your cousin and her children that certain areas will be off limits to them. If her children are toddlers, you and your children will just have to be extra vigilant about helping her keep an eye on her kids.
Maybe look online at freecycle.com, in your area, and you can request a baby gate or two to close off rooms like the kitchen or stairways. The stuff on there is free, you just generally have to pick it up.
Good luck with your visit.

being 'old school' I never 'child-proofed' my home either. So if mommy's going to have issues with you correcting the children, then there could be problems.

Child-proofing on a budget: rubberbands on the cabinet handles will work - if your cabinets have handles/knobs. You just use the heavy duty rubber band around the handles, wound so that they're tight to prevent the door opening. Your and your daughter's figurines - up higher or put away is best for things that are cannot be replaced. that way there is no chance of accident. chemicals such as bathroom cleaners and other such need to by up high - and if you have a 'monkey' that won't work. so be aware of that.
get down on your knees and see what looks enticing at their eye level and then take steps that are in your budget to deal with what THEY will see and want. shiny, pretty, and all, and have toys appropriate for their age.

Now for your unsolicited advice question: It is your home, and if you didn't invite your cousin, for YOUR peace of mind you need to lay a few ground rules. I'm all about family, and helping where I can, BUT that doesn't mean I'll be a doormat for anyone - family or otherwise. There's a good book called 'BOUNDRIES' by Dr Henry Cloud that might help you. If cousin's seeking free room and board without contributing to the household finances for a week, is one thing. For longer than that - uh - no. while she's looking for a place of her own as she's taking steps to go from a locale that has fewer opportunities for jobs than where she was living to one that she can get a job and be independent? Yes I'll help - here are my expectations while you reside with me.

Good luck with the visit and family.

Frankly, I think it's rude of her to ask you to do this, if she's talking about truly "child-proofing" your home. I would tell her that you are going to move your breakables & valuables, but as far as outlet covers, cabinet locks, etc, she needs to bring her own or watch the children closely. If other family members have said that she doesn't watch her own children, maybe it's time you give her a dose if reality! Those kids are her responsibility. When I take my son to other people's homes for an extended period, I ask if I can move their breakable or valuable items out of his reach & then I keep a close eye on him to make sure he stays out of cabinets with cleaning products, breakable items & outlets. If you have stairs & the children are little, borrow a baby gate from someone, but that's as far as you need to go, other than telling her to keep an eye on her own children or bringing her own child proofing items. I hope this doesn't sound too mean.

You have received some wonderful advice; I would just add that they are great responses and you should not feel obligated to take care of her children. Put away your valuables, but the rest is her responsibility. I would consider having 'plans' to be leaving so she couldnt stay more than the week, whether you actual leave, or not. Good luck, keep us posted! Merry Christmas from my family to yours :)

In my opinion her asking you to child prood seems out of line to. I would never ask someone else to child proof their home, I mean the world is not child proof. I think you have done great considering the outlets. Beyond that I would just put all cleaners or toxic materials out of reach and leave it at that. She is going to have to watch her own children and keep them out of cabinets and away from your nick nacks. Sorry if I am coming off blunt! All of us moms have to learn how to manage our kiddos, just a part of life:) If something gets broken while the kids are there I think having a heart to heart with her about watching her kids would be fine. Unless you have a heavy tv on a flimsy stand or something outrageous I really don't think they will get hurt in your home. Best wishes and merry christmas:)

Is it just me or is the cousin making demands that she herself doesn't adhere to. Other than making sure that the kiddos couldn't get to the cleaning products under the sink and that they understood NO and Don't touch my kids turned out fine. Obviously a baby gate but I would make sure that "cousin" understands it is one week and then bye-bye and that she is to supervise her children. If that isn't acceptable to her then say you are sorry that you won't be seeing her this trip.

It is one thing to be gracious to guests but it is another to have someone else make the rules in your house.

Good luck with that!

Hi Lynda,
I appreciate all you do for your children-both at home and at school. Our children are our most precious resources and we need to love and cherish them. thank you for that.

On the other issue- I would not spend any money on "child proofing" my home for someone elses child- but I would pack up a few of my most cherished items so little hands cannot break them- as for the cabinets etc- those child proof locks can be expensive and troublesome- if you have door knobs or cabinet handles- use some strong rubber bands to tie the doors together- that way- you can get what you need from the cabinet and also keep the little ones out.......one thing I would do and not worry if it hurts anyone's feelings is just simply tell the Mother that you would appreciate her keeping a closer eye on her child when you are not around because you work very hard for what you have accumulated and you cannot replace some items- it is difficult I know- but it is your home and you reserve the right to make the rules.......
Good luck and enjoy your visit
Blessings

Well, if you ask me..If she's moving into..or coming to visit YOUR home then you don't need to do anything. She should watch her children so that they don't get hurt. I do understand your concern, though. Don't spend money on anything though. If she wants to spend money to help make your house more kid friendly then she should have to pay..not you.

Some things to do
Make sure chemicals aren't under the sink within reach.
You got the outlets covered..That's good.
Always make sure the bathtub is empty (sometimes with multiple children you forget)
Keep glass high up (your figurines)

I wish you luck and a lot of patience for you visitors! Hope I helped some.

OK, so here is my take. A normal person would expect the outlets covered, but that should be your ONLY expense if you chose, but my fathe-in-law just put duct-tape over the sockets when we visit and it seems reasonable to us. You don't mention how old the children are, but I would mostly focus on getting anything of yours that is "breakable" away from their reach-level and making sure any really harmful easy to get products (bleach, medicines, etc...) are in harder to reach places. You could always just lock them in your room and make your bedroom or bathrom off limits. If they can open doors and you don't have a way to lock them there are cheap plastic devices that go over door-knobs that are hard enough to open my parents and in-laws call them "granny-proof."

If I were you I would tell your cousin that you will make your home "safe" by putting away things you don't want the kids to get into and ask her to bring the things she is wanting for you to have to make your home childproof. Nobody should expect someone else to make their house childproof. I would also ask your cousin to please watch her own kids- or send them outside- park or something. Your house will most likely get messy but hopefully your cousin will be a respectful, helpful person. Good Luck!

it sounds to me that you need to be honest with your freeloader cousin! Tell her a week is her limit, because you will want to get your own children/ or your life back to your regular routine, and tell her that she will have to watch them closely because you don't have the money to buy stuff to childproof, and you will not be paying any emergency room bills! She is lucky to have a place to stay and eat for her and her kids for a week. as a guest in your home, she should appreciate this, and help out with chores and such! It's the least she can do! If she complains simply tell her she will have to find somewhere else to stay! She is taking advantage of you! best of luck!

Hi Lynda,
When my toddler grandaughter comes I move a few breakables out of reach...cover my coffee table with towels and flannel blanket draped over sharp edges. I also learned to keep rugs or blankets or coloring books off tile or hardwood floors (they can cause slipping) and I have her wear socks with those little rubber grips on bottom. (Those are available at DollarTree). As for the Christmas tree my daughter taught my granddaughter "no touch"...but it may be wise to move valuable breakable ornaments higher on the tree. Alot of people say to move cleaning products, medicines to higher shelves.... I block the top of my stairs with chairs that can't be moved when we are upstairs...none of this is expensive...hope this helps !

You don't say how old her children are, but frankly, when we travel we bring our own childproofing items - whether we go to a hotel or a family member's home. It's one thing to reasonably accommodate visiting children, it's quite another to be expected to revamp your whole house. Cabinet locks and plug covers are really cheap - you can get them at Target. I would tell her that you will clear up the small breakables that are down at kid level, but that she needs to bring with her any plug covers or cabinet locks. If she needs a baby gate, you can look into freecyle or Goodwill to see if you can get one cheaply, but then tell her what the cost will be and that you expect to be reimbursed. Make it her responsibility. You should also tell her (nicely) that you expect her to watch her children and abide by your house rules while she is there. That way she is on notice. If she objects, you can regretfully tell her oh-so-nicely that you think she might be better off visiting another family member since she obviously wouldn't be comfortable in your home. If she says she'll abide by your rules and then breaks them, you can tell her to straighten up or leave.

I think she is making unreasonable demands. If she is not working then she needs to keep an eye on the kids! I had 5 of my own, 4 in under 3 years and apart from locking the under sink cabinet and using baby gates at the stairs we taught them not to touch. Of course that took some actual parenting, setting boundaries and spending time in the same room as them! What does she do when she takes them to the grocery store? Ask the store to put away all things that are at her kids' level? Of course not, that would preposterous, and yet she expects you to do basically the same thing.

I would lock a couple of things away, gate the necessary doors and inform her that if the kids get into something they shouldn't she is responsible for the damages. Sounds to me like she is relying too much on family and not enough on herself in both the raising and the care of these children.

What does she do with herself all day? Again, if she is home with the kids she should be teaching them the ground rules.

I have a sister like that...she ended up staying with my mom for 3 years. If you do not lay down some rules in the beginning you are in trouble. If you make it too easy and comfortable she will stay longer. Ask her do the dishes at least every other meal, clean up after herself and her children. I can see how my sister became that way. Mom's fault...when I go stay with her, I automatically wash the dishes I used, basically leave things the way I found them, and she will say "OH, just leave them I will get them." It just is not fair that you go to work and she watch TV all day. When she first gets there try something like "I am glad you are here, since I am the only parent around, I could sure use some help around here." A true visitor only stays for a weekend, no more than a week. 3 weeks is not a visit, it is an Extended stay. Mention that you are on a budget, and that everyone, including your children have to pull their weight around the house. Remember she has a history of doing this...and to her you are another relative she feels is responsible to help "poor little ol me with 3 children". There are givers, and there are takers in this world. Give her a sense of responsibility when she first walks thru your door. www.mybiopro.com/claudia13

A baby gate does wonders. I would shop a second hand store to see if you could find one reasonably priced. And I can completely understand your frustration. But I'd rather put my things up for a bit rather than lose them due to careless parenting. If you have handles on your bottom cabinets I would tie them shut to keep little hands out of them. And I would explicitly let the mother know that she is staying for free the least she could do is tame her children. But that's just my 2 cents.

Wow -- those are some worrisome dynamics!! An adult that you don't think you can trust to tell you what her plans are relative to you coming to visit for what she says will be a week but you have heard from another party will be "much longer"? Yikes!!! I would say you have two choices depending on how you want to address this much bigger and more expensive (in terms of money and energy) issue of the length of the visit:

1. if you are okay with the fact that this may (may -- the sister may have her own issues) be an extended visit, leave it up to the visiting mom to figure out how to childproof the house once she is in residence. You can handle that in a very generous, friendly tone of voice, just explaining that you didn't childproof for your kids and can't afford all the commercial childproofing devices, so you'll gladly leave it to her to help you figure out what her specific children will need in your particular environment.

2. If you are not comfortable with the possibility that you are being manipulated into hosting a family indefinitely, you can just say "oh, it's just for a week -- I'm sure we can make it all work by just making sure someone is keeping an eye on them. Of course I will put anything breakable out of reach, but other than that, for a week it isn't worth buying a lot of fancy stuff I didn't ever need for my own kids." Then pick something that you HAVE to do the week immediately following your cousin's visit that is entirely incompatible with her staying beyond her one-week planned visit -- maybe some kind of fundraising event or holiday party for your students that will require you to have every piece of china and figurine and your daughter's horse collection all back in place? Oh, and your tree decked out in a host of tiny, easily swallowed decorations! You could then say "I'm sorry, but I know you would never want to expose your children to such a dangerous environment."

I wish you luck with this -- and on the actual question of childproofing, I am sure that you, like me, just naturally childproofed in basic ways, such as putting anything poisonous or breakable out of reach, putting pills and vitamins in upper cabinets instead of out on counters. Apart from covering the outlets, which as you note can be done with furniture instead of plastic inserts, I think the rest of the stuff one can buy (unless one has a swimming pool -- whole other set of issues) are ways to avoid having to move things around.

M.

Lynda,

You didn't mention the ages of the children, and what their mom is planning on doing while they are visiting you? Her children are her responsibility....not yours.

I wouldn't worry about locking cabinets...just move any poisons above a small childs reach. Any older children should have already been taught not to get into cabinets, espically not in their own home.

As for your precious breakable items...if you value them you probably want to move them out of their reach because if they are broken you will be the only one to suffer. It's ashamed this mom has not already taught her children that if it doesn't belong to them they are not to touch without permission. If they aren't staying in your daughter's room you could put a lock on the door.

I am so fed up with these young parents today that permit their children to "do as they please " and are afraid of the word "NO". And allow them to "do as they please".

I did inhome childcare for 15 years and the only item EVER moved was a potted plant off my coffee table..only because it endangered my son. Never had any items broken because I taught the children "do not touch", it does not belong to you...it is not a toy. They never even touched my Christmas tree or gifts under it. Nor any of my Christmas villages or anything else I had set out.

You also mentiomed putting everyting in storage..so I'm guessing you don't have an attic?

Best of luck to you with your visit, hope all goes well.

B., a very experienced mother of 3 adult grown children and 2 Granddaughters.

My first thought would be to get on your knees, and see what a kid sees from that angle, anything that looks interesting and within reach is a prime target. Plugs for wall outlets, wires hanging down, sharp corners,... etc.... good luck.

Do you have friends with children around their age or maybe a little bit older, they may be able to loan or give you some as they are cleaning out the garage to get to the Christmas decorations. Just ask around.
If you have stairs, I would look into baby gates. You can find them on craig's list or second hand children's stores- be sure to check on recalls though. You might be able to check freecycle.org for outlet covers, if not they are relativly cheap($1.50/doz-ish)or you can rearrange the furnature. Put anything that you value up and out of reach. Clearners and sharp items can go in the garage, laundry room or on top of the pantry. Cut blind cords.
I agree with you. We have also never "child proofed" our home, but rather taught our daughter the word "no." Maybe you could help her with that while they are there. I'm sure the next people that she stays with will apritiate it. Good luck and enjoy.

IMO it is completely unreasonable for this person to expect you to change your home and your way of life for her to visit, regardless of how long the stay might be. She needs to keep control of her children well enough that you shouldn't have to spend the small fortune on child proofing and storage for all of your precious belongings. If you absolutely feel the necessity to comply at least a little (it's not a bad idea to lock up at least under the kitchen sink, anyway) just use rubber bands around your cabinet knobs. Everything else is Mom's responsibility to keep them entertained and out of trouble.

Dearest Lynda,

I would like to first establish that it is incredibly generous of you to have your cousin and her children regardless of their ages come and stay with you! It is a very busy time of year, for any family and I really think her latest request(child proofing your home)is inappropriate of her! Yes child proofing is necessary depending on the ages, however it is HER responsibilities to do so, or provide you with the necessary resources/materials! I would also not be afraid in YOUR home to police her children respectfully! You have already put in your time( your children being older and have a firm grasp of how you expect them to behave at both home and in others) and remind your children of what the family considers acceptable and what is not! Use their set of eyes as well, if they are going to be around more often, and you are away at business! You also need not feel they need to babysit or nanny the children! It is her responsibility, and visiting and helping are one thing, taking complete responsibility for what is not yours is another! You will feel better, and happier about the visit if you have some personal boundaries set up, and stick with them!!!!!

As for what you have already done in childproofing, children also need to learn boundaries in what is OK to touch and not! If you have a family heirloom that is priceless, I would recemmend relocating it! Take precious ornaments for the tree, and place them higher on the tree!
Establish a rule that the bathroom door is to be remained closed at all times to avoid unwanted visits from the plumber! If you have stairs, remind her to bring gates(IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY), especially since you have no need for it after she and her family go! To avoid unwanted delays on their departure(since you mentioned already you have been warned of extended stays), create reasons why it isn't possible for the extended stay!

I wish you the best of luck, and a wonderful and happy holiday season!

p.s. Target is a really cheap and great source for cabinet locks for chemical cupboards, or just store up high in the laundry room on a shelf!!!

Your cousin will be home with the children all day while you are away. Tell her..BEFORE SHE COMES...in no uncertain terms will they be allowed to run wild and destroy things. There's no need for you to go out and purchase a bunch of stuff you won't need later. Put your valuable things away to avoid breakage. You didn't say how old her children are. If they are old enough to understand, then explain to them where and what they can play with. She did you a favor by suggesting that you childproof and now that you've done it, the rest is up to her. She's an adult. If she can't take it, she can leave.

If you have a second story, get a gate to keep them from going upstairs without authorization. It depends on the age of the kids, too. Teach them to slide down the stairs on their tummies - they pick that up quickly. Get things straight with your cousin from the get-go that you did the basic commonsense things you can do, and that it's her responsibility to keep an eye on her kids. Go through the house with her and see if she has any suggestions you can readily implement, like installing drawer locks on a knife drawer (those are cheap plastic things you can get at Wal-Mart). Hope things work out well with all of your family! Merry Christmas!

I like you never really "Child Proofed" my home. I did cover the plugs but I never put corner pads on tables or covers on the doors or even a gate on the stairs. My son caught on quick to the word "No" For the most part he was free to roam but I did know where he was at all times. Once my son figured out where the pots were and the plastic containers were he would play with those which I was ok with but again he never seemed at all interested in searching every cabinet. Sometimes I would even pull some out for him so he wouldn't open the cabinets. If anything you might want to put some kind of lock on the cabinet with cleaners but I almost feel that maybe she should bring some of it because you don't know what all her kids are likely to get into. Yes I would put up breakable stuff and cover plugs and maybe lock up the cleaners other than that no matter how much you "Child Proof" children are still going to get into things and they still have to be told "NO". I have my second on the way the only thing I thought about doing was plugs and getting a corner cover for the fireplace and that's just because when I was a child I fell and hit the corner and had to have stitches. Not many but with my first we didn't have a fireplace so it wasn't even a thought. For things you need to get you might want to try a resale shop or maybe Any Baby Can. Maybe you will be able to get it for cheap or it would be even better if someone were willing to let you borrow. If I still had all of mine I would but it's been 6 years since I've had any of that stuff around. It's ok to help someone out but at the same time make sure you aren't putting yourself in a situation with bills or other that will be difficult to oull out of. You can't help someone else if your water or electricity is turned off. Good Luck.

You might try freecycle.org it is a great website that you can sign up and become a part of. If you are in need of items you can ask for them on there (this is people in your area) if you want to give something away you can go on there and list it and if someone wants it they pick it up at your house.

I have a ll month old and never in a million years would I ask anyone to child proof there home. I think that is rude regardless if it is family.

I lived at my parents for 2 months after the hurricane and never once did I ask them to change a thing. I just had to keep an eye on her at all times.

Now, my daughter somehow is drawn to electrical sockets so I always have the covers in her diaper bag. When we go to my in-laws or my parents, I cover the outlets in the room which we are sitting. Other than that, if she starts going for something she gets told "No" and if that does not work, when she reaches for it, I squeeze her little hand.

i agree with you. the children should learn what is okay to play with and what isn't. however, i think a few basic precautions should be taken. i put outlet covers in all outlets, even behind furniture b/c she can squeeze in small spaces. i put childlocks on all undersink cabinets or ones that have chemicals in them. other than that, my 14 month old daughter is free to play in any of the other cabinets since there is nothing breakable/valueable. since we are remodeling the kitchen our entire pantry is on shelves which she can reach. the lower 2 shelves are things she can play with like dish towels, tupperware, and packaged snacks (since she hasn't figured out how to open yet). i keep all the other doors in the house closed (bathrooms, bedrooms, laundry room) as those aren't childproofed. she is only allowed in those rooms with supervision. that way the areas she can access she is free to roam w/o fear of being hurt. if they can open doors then buy the door knob covers. if there is an area you don't want them in the i would suggest a baby gate. the bottom line is they need to learn to respect the word "no" and what is okay to play with. you don't need to go crazy, just do what you can afford. i think i spent maybe $20 max and my daughter is completely safe in our kitchen, living room, and her playroom and bedroom. good luck with them staying with you!

Just use some common sense when "childproofing" your home. It doesn't take money, just a little re-organization. Be sure to move ALL your cleaning products to a cabinet that is out-of-reach of the little ones. That includes laundry soap, dishwashing liquid, etc. Also, no plastic bags within reach.

As far as securing your cabinets, if they have knobs, you can try using heavy rubber bands to bind them together, but this is not foolproof. An inquisitive child can sometimes get them off if they're determined.

The most important thing you can do is talk to your cousin and tell her what YOU expect while she's there. If she's to be your guest, there are a few house rules that must be followed for the safety of everyone concerned. If you spell it out for her, and something happens because of her negligence, then you should have a clear conscience.

I hope a few of these suggestions help a bit.

Why are you having this person stay with you? I wouldn't take it upon myself to child proof your home. that's her job. Tell her to watch her children and she won't have any problems with them getting into anything, if she is only staying there a week...there shouldn't be any problems. and make sure she only stays there a week or else whe will give you stress you don't need. don't let her mooch off of you. there are plenty of programs that will help single parents.

I think you are a doing a very wonderful thing thing letting them stay with you for a week. Especially around the Holidays. I'm sure everything will be fine, and you have done everything you can with putting all your stuff away in storage. I don't think the cabinet things are very expebsive. You can try the dollar store and get a pack of them if you want. Good lunck and God Bless you!

I have 2 - 2year olds in my home and I don't keep a lot of breakables around either. I would suggest that you make sure that your lower kitchen cabinets have all the plastic and non-breakable things in them or use tie wraps to hold them closed. I bought child locks from Lowes that have 2 straps that go through each cabinet handle and you have to press 2 buttons really hard to get them open. The kind that you attach inside and press down on to open the doors don't work for long. They figure those out. But if you don't have money for that you can use tie wraps or string. And even simpler, just put non-breakables and non-toxic stuff in the lower cabinets and move all the cleaning products and glass to the upper cabinets. Also, I would suggest discussing the length of her stay in no uncertain terms BEFORE she comes. Just let her know that she's welcome for a week, but that your family is on a schedule and it would be not in their best interest to disrupt it for any longer than that! I've had those relatives that overstay their welcome and it's much harder to get them out once they are comfortable than nip it in the bud before they come. I think her asking you to childproof your home for her is a litte presumtuous (sp?). She should bring some of the child proofing materials (such as the cabinet locks) with her if she is traveling anyway. But I agree with you that I would not want to take the chance of my collectibles getting broken by not putting them away short term. Good luck to you!

Wow-I just read your update! That shows you that she was just wanting to come and overstay her welcome anyway! If she was coming because she really wanted to visit with you she never would have reacted that way! Good for you!

The number one safety things are outlet covers which are real cheap, putting your blind cords tucked up on the top of the blinds, all chemicals,cleaning products and pesticides, sunscreens and lotions, and makeup at the highest and preferablly locked shelf and closet. IF you have stairs a top of the stair gate.(Get it cheap on Craigslist). All pens or markers not laying around or kids will use on the walls. All kitchen knives in top cabinets, not in the drawers. And all glass decorations off accessible shelves or they could get broken or cut a kiddo upon contact of breaking. All glass tables put away if in living room. Hope this helps most things you don't have to buy you just have to keep out of reach.

You can always try thick rubber bands on the cabinet doors. That's what my Mom did w/my sister's kids. Works real well but can be difficult to remove if you hafta throw something away or get something out to cook with so you may hafta cut them off then replace them each time. The outlet covers are generally sold several in a pack & can get them at the dollar tree or 99 cents stores, etc. so they won't cost much if you decide to get some but I'd definitly put away anything you don't want messed with. My neice got into my stuff & messed it up but was never corrected or punished (her kids were coddled even when they were bad--and I DO MEAN rotten bad!) but I'm sure you'll be fine. Just treat them like you did your kids just make sure to keep a watch on them or get YOUR kids to help w/that. Just tell them that you're going to need their help w/babysitting & offer them either payment to do so or a special treat like going to a movie or something they'd want to do as a thank you for helping. I'm sure they'd be glad to help. Good luck.
***This is an add-on to my response. I'm sorry that she treated you so disrespectfully. Sounds like she just wanted a place to get away for a while but she shouldn't have reacted that way, that sounded selfish & inconsiderate on her part. I'm sorry things didn't work out but glad also that you didn't have to worry about things. My sister-in-law acts the same way if you don't give in to her so I sorta know how you feel/felt so I wouldn't worry about it. She should apologize to you for saying that but if she doesn't, there's nothing you can do.

Hi Lynda,

I would just pick up the figurines that are within reach. I tied my cabinet doors together with string when my daughter was little. If you think your cousin won't watch her kids while at your house, you might suggest she stay elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know. Or you can ask her to bring the child proofing items with her, because when will you ever need them again?

Good luck!

J.

Hi Lynda,
I can understand your concern for the children's safety and it looks like you've done more than your share of preparing for your cousin and her children's visit. I think there is a little more you can do to make the visit a wonderful one for everyone.

First of all, I believe you have to set some ground rules. It's your home, not theirs, although you want to make them feel welcomed. This means that you will have to give your cousin and kids a home orientation. You show them where things are, how to use them, etc. And you talk straight with your cousin about her obligation to watch her own children. Set this, along with her visitation duration as a condition. It might seem cruel and unfeeling but you stated that she's basically living off other family members, she can live by your rules or move on.

For example: set the shower limit to 5 minutes each. If the kids are young and need to be bathed, establish how high you want the water level to be before they get into the tub. If it's a little cool in the house, have them put on a sweater or another layer in lieu of them reaming up the furnace. Don't allow them to run the water when they're not at the sink (apparently a pretty common problem among young ones). They can do their part in helping to clean up after themselves, too. When they do that, praise them, just like you probably did with your own children; as they really do seek to please.

You can do more by lovingly teaching than just tolerating bad behavior that they might bring along with them. I know you are busy with your own kids and your life, so this will be a sacrifice for your entire family to accommodate them, but since your cousin doesn't seem to have any direction in her life, perhaps you can help her by suggesting options.
If she's just lazy (which I truly hope is not the case), then you also can give her a time limit on her visit before she gets too settled in and becomes a nuisance.

I know this sounds like tough love, but it's your home, your family and your sanity. Set the ground rules, limits and tolerances, and for sure, set the time limit for the visit. If it's 1 week, ask her what time on the anticipated day of departure that she'll be leaving, and set a time aside for saying goodbye; ie., a little going-away party time of something, so she gets the message that you are expecting the visit to be over.

If she has the money to get to your place to stay, surely she can find the means to move on, having had a wonderful time with you and your family.

Good luck to you!

I would only childproof an area or 2. Maybe the living room and the bedroom they will be sleeping in/playing in. Buy a door gate, the cheapest one, for the kitchen area or hallway to keep them out of another area and make sure all the other bedroom doors stay closed. Tell your sister that her kids are not allowed in any of the other rooms without her close supervision as they are not childproofed. Also let her know that there are still some areas that she will just have to watch out for, like the Christmas tree. I personally believe in houseproofing my children, not childproofing my house (at least for the basics). My kids knew what they could get into and what they couldn't. You could also ask her to bring her own door gate, as I'm sure she has one if she's expecting you to. That way you won't have to buy one. You might know someone who could loan you one too. You can also use something else that you might already have that adults can step over, but kids can't easily move, like a small ottoman or something, plywood?

I don't think you should do anything more than you have except perhaps buy a safety gate. I bought mine at the pet store (it was cheaper than buying the "baby gates"). I put the gate across the kitchen doorway to keep my son out while I was cooking. My mom told me when my sister was about 2 1/2 she pulled a pot of boiling water off the stove--mom kicked her out of the way and let the water fall on herself. That scared me enough that I wanted my son out while cooking so he wouldn't get hurt.
Otherwise, it's just common sense. Put chemicals, medications, and breakables up higher out of reach of children and cover the outlets. If you've done this then things should be fine. Tell your visiting cousin that you didn't child proof for you kids and you aren't for anyone else's. Afterall, it is your home.
If she doesn't watch her children properly there is nothing you can do to force her to change. All you can do is tell her what you expect from her and her children while visiting. If she can't abide by your wishes then tell her she'll have to leave.
Good luck...I hope it turns out to be a pleasant visit for you.

My son will be one in January. He is getting around and discovering how to open doors, get into dog food, you know exploring. Basically we have had a puppy since we got together. The house became dog proof then. Anything waist down was fair game to the dog...shoes, purses, if she crawled up on the book shelf she could get anything up there ( from the couch ) the coffee table was her spot. She was an english bulldog. So as far as that went we were ready. Look around plants on the floor, anything that will break, rip or be distroyed needs to be moved. This is not only for the kids saftey but for you to be able to still have nice things. As far as cabinet doors and chemicals. We put all the chemicals in the hall closet. I bought a saftey door cover where kids cannot open it and put one on the bathroom door ( to prevent toliet playtime or worse ) and on the closet door with chemicals. They are very cheap. You could put one on your daughters door and tell the kids that it is off limits. Woop there hands, time out. It is your house and if they dont like the rules then they can move on. The only other thing we have bought was a safty gate and we put it in the entrance to the kitchen. It is very kind of you to take your sister in. I hope she dosent take advantage of your kindness. God bless.

Ask her to bring along the things she needs to childproof your house.
What works for my kids may be totally unmanageable for her kids at your house. Everyone childproofs for their own kids. Only she knows what her kids get into and what they don't. I keep knob covers on the pantry and the door to the garage, but we have hundreds of cd's out and my three have never messed with those! Every year I worry about who is going to wreck the Christmas tree and nobody ever does. However, the minute I turn my back outside my three-year-old is four feet up in the trees like a little monkey! There is nothing better than supervision. Pack up your special things and hope she doesn't stay too long.
To keep toddlers out of a room cover the doorknob with a big sock and rubberband it securely (in theory the sock will slip around while they try to twist the knob, but it may not work for a very motivated child). In a pinch I've used large rubber bands to keep cabinet doors closed, but rubber bands are also chocking hazards themselves, so you may just want to put breakable or chemicals, cleaners and medicines, etc. all up in high cabinets or behind locked doors.
Good luck! You are very kind to take in a family in need.

You did not say how young they were. Something that can keep the doors closed where you keep cleaning supplies, the same for sharp knives. Glass things can be put up,and plugs covered. You should not have to do much. She is the parent and you have older children. With the mother and I assume the father along with your children and husband surely someone will be watching the kids. The most likely things that kids will get into in a strange house is under the sinks and closets put some child prof latches on those doors. Be sure that you also keep the garage closed and locked, and watch they by the tree. Have a safe and happy holiday.

Did you invite her or did she invite herself? Either way I think it is pretty gutsy to demand that someone go to this trouble and expense. She should watch her kids and keep them out of your stuff. Maybe you need to level with her about your situation and also set a definate length of stay. In my family we have a little saying (mostly in fun) that fish and relatives stink after 3 days. If you don't set boundries you may have them for a lot longer than you can reasonable stand.
** Just read the update. I guess she just wanted to freeload for as long as she could. Isn't it sad when family tries to use you.

The biggest thing is putting away things that you don't want broke, damaged, or swallowed. And making sure the kids can run around the house with enough freedom. YOu are allowed to set ground rules, but expect that young children are curious and rowdy. Make sure there are no hanging table cloths that can be pulled on or table runners, etc... No stocking holders at the fire place, etc... You don't need to buy a lot of stuff. Close bedrooms that they are not allowed in. Use door knob covers or high eye hook locks. My living area, dining area and hallway are completely child proofed. Everything else is gated or locked. So my kids have freedom to play and roam, but not an all access party.
Mom to 3 girls - 6, 4, and 1.

I would simply tell her that all the things she is asking for cost money and if she is willing to pay for them you would be happy to use them to childproof your home. If not, then do the best you can by putting up small items, breakables and make sure all outlet covers are in place. They are her children and so it's her job to keep them safe. It's not your job to pay so she doesn't have to watch them. Just do the best you can without spending any money!

Packing up the things that you don't want broken is a good first step. When my granddaoughters come to visit, I tie string on my kitchen cabinet knobs, to tie the doors together, so that they cannot be opened. I also rearrange some smaller pieces of furniture to block the doors of my entertainment center, and keep little hands from reaching the electronics.

My oldest is almost three, and she's good about staying out of things. But her sister is only eleven months, and too little to understand not to touch everything. I'm with you on teaching them, and not letting them get into everything, but they have to be old enough to understand.

When the "no-no's" get too exhausting, we spend a little time in the playpen. It was the best $60.00 I could have spent. Hope all goes well with your visitors.

You don't say how old they are, so I hope I can be of help. If your outlets are covered by furniture and little bodies can NOT get to them, you're ok. Otherwise, a package of outlet covers is not even $5. I think packing up all your figurines and knick knacks will be most important - just pack up anything that can be broken (don't forget candles!). If there are rooms you don't want them entering, you can put old nylons on the doorknob instead of buying the door knob things. Little hands usually can't grasp through the nylons to open the door.

Cabinet locks are not expensive (again, a package is probably $5), but take installation. I got some that go over the cabinet handles and my 3 year old can't get past them. They were $4 for a 2 pack.

All the stove guards and corner guards I don't use and don't think are necessary. It's most important to keep the outlets guarded and keep them from getting anything dangerous or breakable in your cabinets.

Do you have stairs? For peace of mind, a gate at the bottom would really help.

My suggestion, though, is to ask her if she has any of these babyproofing tools (esp. the baby gate, as those are pricey) that she can bring with her! I'm not saying she should go and buy them (she's obviously not in that position) but if she already has or can borrow a baby gate - you shouldn't have to buy those for a short stay.
Outlet covers, though, are NOT expensive.

I know many people say they just teach their children the word "no," but come on - do you want children hurt? They are inquisitive, and that is how they should be. My children don't just sit on the couch watching TV and waiting for an adult to tell them what to do. Child proofing is about peace of mind and safety. Maybe older generations didn't do it, but how many kids put something in an electrical socket that made it necessary to start making these things? I just don't think that is the way to look at it. (I'm not saying you, I just know you'll get those responses, and safety is not about good or bad parenting!)

Good luck, and I hope she doesn't stay too long!