Boy Making Potty Messes

Updated on March 12, 2009
M.V. asks from Denton, TX
43 answers

my son is 3 1/2 and has been potty trained since August. He has a very laid back personality, and recently he just doesn't pay attention when he's going to the bathroom, and I end up cleaning up pee-pee on the floor at least once a day. I tried teaching him how to point at the water, but the problem is his slow mannerisms and he just doesn't pay attention to what he's doing. I've watched him as he watches himself in the mirror, or is singing, or looking at something else...he's not being rebellious...just careless. I want to start punishing him because he knows how to go potty...but I'm not sure if that's too harsh. Any thoughts on how to get him to pay attention without me having to go into the bathroom every time?

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G.G.

answers from Dallas on

Don't punish him and don't be angry. Just say, "Oh, dear. You made a mess. You'll have to clean it up now." When it becomes HIS problem instead of yours, he might be more inclined to be more careful, especially if you make a big deal out of the times he DOESN'T make a mess.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Fruit loops make great targets.

The stuff you use to remove pet stains from carpets gets rid of the mess. Just HAVE HIM soak it up with toilet paper (with you there of course), and spray with enzyme cleaner.

Good bye stain, good bye smell. I have to clean mine once a week still, but it doesn't take much time.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

A piece of advice I haven't seen on here but that worked for us was a reward system. Of course my nephew is a bit older (5) so it might have to be tweaked if your son doesn't get the value of money. We told him that every time he got pee on the seat (or anywhere else) and didn't clean it up that he had to give us a nickel from his piggy bank, but if he went a week without having that sort of problem we'd give him a whole dollar (emphasizing the WHOLE to make it sound all HUGE ;) ). We put his piggy bank on the back of the toilet to help him remember. He left pee on the seat CONSTANTLY before then, but has only dont so 3 TIMES since. It worked like a charm!!! Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have the same problem with my son...He is now 10 and still has this problem..I have him clean the messes. It works for awhile and then I have to inforce the cleaning up again...good luck I have spoken with lots of moms with boys and it is a boy thing even when they get to be adults.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Dear M. V,

Why does he need to stand up to pee? My 3 year-old never stands up. (Of course he has his sister to emulate.) My husband never stands up at home - only in public restrooms. In the words of my husband, "I'm 6'4" tall. How tall is the toilet? There is no way to not splash with those proportions!"

Bless my husband. My bathrooms stay pretty clean (except for dog hair!) and never smells like a public urinal.

I saw a post on here about sitting vs. standing for boys and one woman said she trained all her boys to sit at home, stand in public. One of her daughters-in-law has thanked her for the way she taught her boys!

If standing is important, I would ask him to wipe up his mess. You don't have to have a strict tone of voice to imply any punishment. Simply say "Oops! You missed! Let me get something for you to wipe that up with!" Stay with him while he wipes it up, have him wash his hands, etc. A couple times of that and he'll realize it's worth more to pay attention to what he's doing than to have to deal with the aftermath. My son used to spill his water while walking to the dining room table. He had to wipe it up, put the rag in front of the washing machine, get more water, and start over again. He soon learned that he can't dance while he's carrying a cup of water.

Peace,
M.
www.yogapotential.com

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have the same problem with my 3 1/2 year...they sound very similar! I make him clean up ALL the messes he makes. I go over it later, but it's helped. They are some messy, stinky little critters!!

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Well, the first thing I would do is send him in with the clorox wipes, and make him clean it up..everyday!! That may help, when he realizes what a mess he makes. I would also tell him that if he cant go in and pay attention, then you will have to come in with him, to make sure he does it right. Maybe some positive reinforcement for a job well done..ahh boys..many people still say their teenagers are just a bad! What to do?? I hope it helps some at least!~A.~

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

I love the idea of floating targets in the toilet! (cheerios and fruit loops!)

A.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

I can totally relate to this. And yes, it is frustrating, and it does take time, but here is what I did. I did go with him to the bathroom for quite some time and directed him and redirected him the whole time he was peeing, and then I'd make him clean up the mess.....that quickly got him into the habit of being more careful because it got old having to clean up his own pee. I would tell him how nasty that was and he quickly realized he wanted no part of the nasty pee clean up. So he does so much better now. And the times that I would not go to the bathroom with him, I'd ask him when he came out, if he had made a mess, and he'd say no, and I'd say let's go check, and so we would and most of the time there was no mess, but if there was, he would clean it up and wash his hands and get a reward of some sort. Hope this helps!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Marci. Have him sit down to go potty and put some wipes close by to wipe down the seat when he's done. Make sure he understands they aren't for him bottom though!

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A.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Welcome to raising a man! Hahaha! Wish I had something for you. Maybe make him sit down to pee :)

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

They sell these target things that you put on the toilet for the child to aim at while going pee. My son loved those, but they turned out getting too expensive to use everytime he went potty, so I started using cherrios as his target. He had a whole lot of fun with it and altough we used this to potty train him, it may work to keep your son focused on the potty. Sometimes I also put a little food coloring in the water to make it fun for him. YOur son my find this amusing as well. Another idea would be to make your son clean up the mess himself if he pees on the floor. My son gets disgusted really easily so this strategy totally works to help him control his messes. Good luck

A. H.

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P.L.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 3.5 year old who most of the time still goes in his pullup. I'd be thrilled if my problem was wiping up a little pee. I'm still changing poopy Pullups. Give the kid a break. He shouldn't be punished for that. Consider yourself lucky that your child goes in the potty and lighten up about the mess. What I would give right now to just be wiping up pee.

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

i have a nephew that is a year and 8 months that i just started potty training on last saturday.first of all he need a potty to get train on.what i did for my nephew was ask him if he had to use the bathroom. he said no by looking at him he look like if he didnt understand me so what i did was put him on the potty and left him there keep on checking on him and after a few min came back in and ask him again if he had potty yet he said yes so i was like big boy used it in the potty gave him a high five ....ask him like 30 min late he was like no and me being me i put him back on the potty and he used it again .. i told my sister to stop giving him something to drink after 8pm take him the the potty before he goes to bed.wake him up in the middle of the night so that he could get used to getting up at night and always give him a high five to let him know that he is doing good.make sure that whom ever keeps him know that you are trying to potty train and what you are doing.putting him on pamper and underwears will confuse him you need to stick to the underwears and make sure you let everyone know that you are potty training him .him might need a pop on his bottom to let him know that you are 4real about the potty training. and M. v another thing is that when ever you go to the restroom take him with you.some thing about the noise of running water also will help him faster.i hope my information will help you potty training soon.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi my advise to you is to get some of those clorox wipes and have him clean around and on the toilet after every time he goes maybe after a while he will get tired of cleaning himself. Good luck.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

please do not punish. I get my boy who is 5 and still points in the wrong direction sometimes to sit on the toilet seat.(even though it is no guarantee that he would not point up). so tell him he would have to sit until he learns how to point in the right direction.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Have you thought of buying one of those urinal's. It just ordered one for my son he just turned 2. It said it can grow with you child (not sure how tall). Might be worth a shot.

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

I was taught to put cherrios in the bowl and make it a game of having him to aim for the hole in the center. It worked! People always wondered why I had one or two cherrios floating around in there but other parents of boys usually knew without a question!

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E.K.

answers from Dallas on

Sometimes making them clean up their own messes a few times is enough to make them be more careful-little boys are the same about the potty as grown men-they have bad aim! Just let him know that you will be checking for mess after he goes, and if you find one, he has to clean it up-obviously you will have to supervise that part. I keep lysol wipes on the back of the toilet and the men in my house now automatically wipe up after they're done.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

Try having some Cheerios in a bowl near the potty...when it's time for him to go, he can throw a few in the toilet water and have him aim at them...make it a game and ask him to "sink" the Cheerios....

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

I also have a 3 year old and he has done the same thing! This is what we do. hope it helps but we make a game out of it. when he tells me he has to go potty I tell ok remeber "pee pee in the hole, pee pee in the hole" and we sing it and then he gets excited cause he did it! hope it helps!

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F.G.

answers from Dallas on

I know how you feel when my son makes a mess it just rips me the wrong way some days. But I take a deep breath and realize he is only 3 and just clean it up. I don't know about giving him a clorox wipe to clean himself I think he is a little young to be handling cleaning products, but that is just me personally. But here are some ideas on how to get him to look in the potty the old fashioned cheerios have him aim for them. I also tell my son to hit the big hole in the potty with the pee. It will eventually become automatic. And yes we have days where my son is talking or turns to look at something and there goes the whole bathroom LOL!! But it happens and I get over it. Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

I bet after you make him go in there and clean it up himself that he'll either stop or get in the habit of at least wiping up after himself.........

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Set some type of cleaning wipes near the toilet and have him wipe up when finished. I would supervise for a while, so he will know exactly how it should be done.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried having him help you clean up his mess? That worked for me! It will help him to pay attention and accept some responsibility.

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

Try giving him a target. Let him drop a cheerio in the bowl and see if he can hit it while peeing. It'll be fun for him, and cheap for you.

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G.A.

answers from Tyler on

I do agree that he should be cleaning up his own mess...

My 3 yr old knows that if he doesn't pay attention and watch what he is doing then he will have to sit on the potty instead of stand (we have an insert with a shield on the front) so he can't make a mess.

Gotta love those little boys, huh?

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

I never had problems with my oldest son. However, my 2nd boy is easily distracted. The best solution I've found is to have him clean up after himself. I have Clorox wipes handy and that's what he uses to wipe down the toilet and any other areas that come under fire. He's almost 8 and I still have to frequently check and remind him to tend to the mess. It is slowly getting better.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4 boys of my own and I certainly have been through that! I make THEM clean it up- even at age 2 or 3 I have always made them clean it up so they can see how gross it is! It didnt' take very long before they would be careful and pay attention! :)

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

I took a bowl of cheerios and set it on the back of the toilet. Whenever my son had to go he could throw four cheerio rounds into the bowl. Then he had to aim at them to 'shoot them down'. He did that for a couple of months and then was bored with the game. But... he learned to aim into the bowl and not on the seat, floor, wall etc.

Good luck. Praise him for going and occasional accidents - do have him help to clean them up so that he can see it makes "stinky" for others in the bathroom...including him!

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

I have 3 boys and used a single sheet of toilet paper. I would drop it so it would float in the water and then the game was to sink the "ship". Benefit is - if you are at a friend's or relative's you always have toilet paper available. Good luck!

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J.A.

answers from Amarillo on

Hi M., I don't think you're being too harsh at all. Potty messes are gross! In my house the rule is, you mess it up, you clean it up! This goes for all messes. It won't take more than a few times of cleaning instead of playing before he realizes how much faster it would be to just aim. You can provide disinfectant wipes or swiffer wet pads for him to clean with.

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V.A.

answers from Amarillo on

My dear, welcome to the world of having a young male in the house. I have two, one is 12, the other is 5, and neither one of them can hit the target, I clean it up constantly, and have to watch very carefully when I go, cuz they also have a problem with lifting the seat. . There is no need to punish, he's just a little boy after all, be happy hes actually going to the toilet and live with a little mess. like I said, its the world of having a young male in the house

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Have him clean up the mess. I did this with my son, and while it didn't really stop the problem (he still misses sometimes) at least it's not a total mess. I keep clorox wipes in the bathroom and showed him how to clean up the mess if he misses the potty. Maybe cleaning it up will help him to aim better & pay attention...the bad news is, my son is 7 and still makes a mess in the bathroom sometimes!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Make him clean up his own mess now and forever. Just PLEASE make sure you give him something non-toxic (NOT CLOROX!) I would put some vinegar and water mixed together in a spray bottle and tell him he needs to spray his mess with that each time and then wipe it up. That way you don't have to supervise once he learns how to do it on his own or worry about him being with chemicals. This is what I plan to do with my son. Even now at age 2.5 I make him wipe it up if he misses (he still sits so it's pretty rare still but I know it's coming!).

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M.G.

answers from Houston on

I've heard of some stars you can put in the toilet water and they can 'aim' at those...that might catch his eye and help him pay attention!
Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I've been there and know what you're dealing with. At 3 1/2, he's not being messy on purpose, just distracted, like you said. With my boys, I used Fruit Loops as targets. Just toss a couple in the potty and let him take aim! Most boys love this, and it keeps him focused on the task at hand. You can also buy biodegradable "potty targets" in some of the children's stores, but the cereal breaks down and is a lot less expensive. You could have a few in a bowl in the bathroom and allow him to throw a couple in each time he goes, so you don't have to go with him every time. But I agree that punishment isn't the answer at this stage. Hope this helps!

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B.T.

answers from Dallas on

Try this: I read about this technique in Europe. Paint a little fly down in the bowl of the toilet. You probably will have to turn off the toilet water at the wall first, do some bailing of water with a dipper (into sink or bathtub), then sop out the remaining water, and finally dry the surfaces. Then do the painting, but make it big enough to see, maybe a 1/2 inch across or bigger. Then after it dries, turn the water back on to the natural level, and then introduce him to the game of "trying to hit the fly with his urine." Apparently that has helped many a boy and man aim more accurately, stopping a lot of the wild-aim oversplash issues. Let us know if it works!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Welcome to the land of boys. My bathroom smelled like pee for years! Sorry but I know of no way to attention train the boy out of them! Teach them to clean their own bathroom asap! Good luck.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

I'll never forget the day my little one told me his peepee turned into a firehose. I was cleaning forever. Froot loops and cheerios in the toilet. Tell him to try and hit the "bullseye" Its worked tons over for us and friends.

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N.B.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry you're having to go through this, but his potty belongs to him. He's smart enough to know it's a problem, and you could risk making it a power struggle if you punish him. Instead, I would consider having him help with all the cleanup in a matter-of-fact way. Like, "Oh, that's too bad, you've wet your clothes and made a mess in the floor. I'll help you clean it up." Consider a little tote tray with cleanup materials he can use to help get it up, (paper towels, spray scrubbing bubbles for hard floors; a dry towel or mat to step on to absorb the pee off carpet, and whatever neutralizer you have to use.) I would not let him go on with whatever his previous activity was until he has completed all the cleanup with you. That means if you have to get out the mini carpet cleaner thing and use it, he is doing the cleaning, too. Of course he won't be able to do it to your specifications, but at least he will need to stay right with you while you remain pleasant and matter of fact about getting it all clean. Then, consider having him take a short bath before he can return to his previous activity. Sounds like a lot of work, but worth making it inconvenient for him. Good luck. Mother of 5, 3 grandchildren.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Make him sit to go. My college boyfriend told me his mom made him and his brother start sitting because of the mess they made when they were kids. Otherwise, make him clean up the mess. Leave a canister of lysol wipes or something in the bathroom for him to wipe the floor and toliet with. (He'll probably like to clean, my 4 year old loves to!)

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

Since he isn't doing it on purpose, I'd hate to puish him, but you may say if you don't pay attention and happen to make a mess, you have to clean it up. This may start making him more aware.

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