Baby Won't Nap! - Lubbock,TX

Updated on November 23, 2010
A.H. asks from Lubbock, TX
10 answers

My little girl is almost three months old now and I'm having a really hard time getting her to sleep during the day. The minute I lay her down she is wide awake! It is sooo frustrating! She sleeps well through the night because she sleeps next to me! I know that doctors say not to do that, but I don't know what else to do! I can NOT get her to sleep on her own. I'm also breastfeeding and she uses me as a pacifier... so she won't take a pacifier! I've been really trying to not feed her as often, but it's just so hard to hear her cry and scream! I'm really going crazy here!! I hold her almost 24/7!! I really need a break!! Any advice would be much appreciated!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

3 months old is a growth-spurt time... intake increases and feeding frequency as well.

Next: do you have enough milk production??? If not, baby will not be satisfied and will be hungry... and fuss and not be able to sleep. That happened to at least 3 of my friends.

Babies that age... get tired after about 2 hours of "awake" time. At this age, even a bath is an activity.

Also, over-stimulation can hinder a baby from sleeping.
Or noise.
Over-tiredness... also makes babies/kids not be able to sleep... and it actually can make some be more "hyper" and not be able to sleep, nor to stay asleep.

How do you know she is using you as a pacifier? Maybe she is just hungry.... babies ALSO do what is called "cluster feeding" in which they need to feed even every single hour. They are growing so fast and their intake needs and frequency increases too.... ALWAYS feed on-demand... not by a schedule. AND make sure she is latching on properly and you have enough milk production... otherwise she will NOT be getting adequate intake and she will always be hungry...

all the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Deep breath mom! Big deep breath!

Neither of my breastfed babies would ever really take a pacifier. Very common.

You've got to find a rhythm and get in a routine to help break the non-sleep cycle. I highly suggest learning as much as you can about infant sleep. Made a huge difference when I was trying to learn how to teach my first to sleep. Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer and The No-cry Sleep Solution all have great info, tips and tricks. I can't recommend them enough.

Try swaddling baby before you get ready to settle her for nap time. They make swaddle blankies in larger sizes with velcro so you don't have to worry about baby kicking out.

Once she is good and asleep hold her close and keep her close as you lean over to lay her down. I mean you will be practically in the crib with her but it really helps prevent that falling feeling that sometimes wakes them.

Google 4th trimester. She's still there.

Get a mayawrap and wear her. It was literally a life-saver for me with my high-needs preemie son. Life-saver!

You can not withhold feedings. Not sure where you got that info. She could also be going thru a growth spurt right now. When she is "using" you as a paci she is not nursing. you should be able to feel the difference. So don't ignore her cues when she is hungry.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Are you both getting rest and a good nights sleep? Yes? Then go with what works! We are one of the few countries that insist babies should be out there on their own.

She shouldn't be up more than about 2 hours after waking. Needs to start going back down for a nap about 2 hours after waking.

My son was a toughie too in the beginning but by learning the above info it made a huge difference.

2 moms found this helpful

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

I kind of remember naps not settling in for my kids in any consistent fashion until they were 4 mos. Just keep trying and put her down drowsy after a nursing session. My kids are only 3.5 and just turned 2 and I have a baby on the way....but that is what I recall. Night sleep went great for #1, but #2 got up to nurse 3-4 times a night till he was 9 mos old! At that point, I Weissbluthian style cut him off :) Naps I just followed the nurse, drowys, put them down....worked eventually. Good luck! Just keep trying!

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V.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When my daughter was first home from the hospital I couldn't get her to take the pacifier. Every time she'd cry (and not for hunger, or bad diaper) I'd keep putting it in her mouth. Adventaully she loved it.

As for not sleeping try a baby swing. My baby (she didn't sleep with me though) didn't sleep for more than a hour at a time all night long and I just could take it any longer. My husband was working full time and going to school full time and I had a 2 yr old. I talked to my her doctor and he said to try the swing. And it helped her sleep longer.

Since your baby hasn't slept without your you may want to try her in one (since the motion should help sooth her) and if you can get her to take it maybe soon you can switch her to her own bed for naps and at night. Good luck. I feel for you.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

My son was the same way about not napping well during the day, but sleeping well at night. We went through it for almost 5 months, but then finally settled into a napping routine. He, also, wanted to be held all the time, so I tried a sling for a while, but he was so big, it began to hurt my shoulders. After that, everytime it was time for a nap, I put him in his swing or bouncy seat. At first, he would cry after just a few minutes, but after a while he grew to love his bouncy and napped in it during the day for a year. I,also, used the car for naps, occasionally, when I needed a break from holding him and the crying. Both my babies went through periods of sleeping with us during the first 2 years of their life and my children have no problems sleeping in their own beds today. I always tried to put them in their own beds first, but if they just wouldn't stay there without crying, I put them in our bed because I just needed the sleep to get through the next day and not be completely cranky. As far as feeding goes, hungry babies are unhappy babies, so feed her whenever she is hungry. You do need a break. When my youngest was 3 months, I went to my mom's house for a long weekend and she took care of my son the whole time including getting up at night with him(I pumped). After that weekend, my mom was exhausted, but so happy that I was well rested and ready to tackle everything again once we got home. Not to say that my husband didn't help, he did. He's always been a hands-on, get up at night, change dirty diapers kind of dad, but most of the work falls on the mom. I hope something I wrote helps. Good luck with everything!

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Do you have a chair that rocks (battery operated)? Maybe see if she will nap in that , I know it's not the solution you want because she is still using something as a "crutch" for falling asleep , but it will at least free your arms of her , and start the transition into her sleeping without you holding her.

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

i have a 9 week old daughter who was going the same route as yours--what makes it worse is my 23 month old boy whose favorite game is "wake the baby up!" A few times when i was finally able to get her to sleep for a nap, i would catch him literally pulling her eyes open and happily squealing "Nora's awake!!".
The best thing i've started doing was soothing her to sleep as soon as she seems like shes getting tired, and a lot of times 2 hours of awake time is way too much. She needs to go down for a nap about 45-60 minutes after waking up in the morning, and if we miss that then the rest of the day is screwed for napping and shes a cranky baby who will startle awake after 5 minutes of snoozing whether im holding her or not. Also, putting her down in a swing to finish falling asleep helps too--sit down in front of the swing and nurse her until shes doing light, fluttery sucks (when you become a binky with legs lol) then gently break her off and snuggle her into the swing. She will probably be pretty pissed at first, so just keep repeating the process until she is asleep in the swing. Make sure her napping space is dim and has some kind of white noise to soothe her. Also, have you tried babywearing? I have a maya wrap that im in love with--i'll wear her around while playing and taking care of my toddler then when shes passed out i'll slide it off and wrap it around her so she still smells mama.

A.G.

answers from Mansfield on

First of all, you really should consider not letting her sleep with you at night. You will regret it when she's older, I guarantee it. How I got my daughter to take a nap during the day was I got her a little blankie (though the books tell you not to) and I would put her to bed with a cd of lullabys playing in her nursery or sing her a few songs while rocking her. She cried at first, or course, and I would let her cry for 5 mins for a few times and then go get her. Then I would let her cry for 10 mins the next few times, and then 15 mins. This helps them to develope trust. It's not easy, but so good for them.
Good luck!

L.F.

answers from Dallas on

My 4 month old cries when I put her down for a nap too. From the time she was 3 weeks old I let her cry for 10 minutes then I would go and pick her up, kiss and hug her. I let her cry for 10 minutes and repeat the cycle. Now she usually goes to sleep within the first 10 minute cycle. It is hard to hear her cry but I remind myself that what is best for her is to sleep. (You can choose shorter times: 3 mintues, 5 minutes-- whatever you're comfortable with.)

I have also started giving her independent time every day so she can learn to entertain herself a little. I put her in a safe spot where she can't see me but I can see her and let her play alone. I play classical music during that time as well. I started out with 15 minute increments. If she's content, I let her go longer. I wash dishes or read a book while she plays.

I know some people will disagree, but I read the book Baby Wise and found it to be VERY helpful. It worked for my daughter. She sleeps 8-9 hour stretches at night in her crib and is a very happy baby (but it didn't come easily-- we had to persevere through some rough nights.) The basic idea is to put your baby on a 3 hour cycle: Eat, Awake, Sleep. I thrive on routine, and I think most babies do too. The book will give you ideas on how to set a schedule for your baby. Another book I found helpful was The Baby Whisperer. It talks about the EASY method (Eat, Awake, Sleep, You time).

Try not to lose heart. All of these stages are temporary.

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

I used to swear that my youngest had a button on his back and the second you'd lay him down to nap that button would get pushed and his eyes would pop open!
Hang in there.....this too shall pass. Just keep trying! then try again.
It is very frustrating and you'll get a lot of people that will tell you not to "co-sleep" and let them "cry it out" and............
My only advice: do what works for you and whatever it takes for you to keep your sanity and so you can get some sleep.

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