Baby Shower for Third?

Exactly like you said in this question...

"We were so blessed the first time, and my family was more than generous, I'm not comfortable having another shower. Why don't you and I go out and have a special girls day (mani/pedi/lunch?) to celebrate instead."

short sweet and no excuses. If pushed just repeat the above. Good luck!

How about a celebration to meet the new baby after she is born instead of a shower? I have a 3 year-old son and just had a second baby boy 6 weeks ago. When friends asked about a shower I very politely declined since I had everything I needed, and more importantly, didn't want anyone to feel obligated to give another baby gift, but we are having a small get together so everyone can squeeze the new baby.

I would thank your cousin for her generosity but would decline the offer. I know that in some circles, showers for every baby are accepted but it doesn't sound like that's the norm in your family. I think that showers for a baby other than the first are generally tacky except under certain circumstances. Having an opposite-gender child is not such a circumstance.

Because she will be a godmother I would assume that means that you will have some kind of baptism or other baby-welcoming ceremony? If that's the case, you'll probably have some kind of celebration for that and if your cousin is really enthused about throwing a party, perhaps you can suggest that she help you with that when the time comes - or if you're not doing anything ceremonial, she can help you plan and host a welcome baby party after the baby is born, and people will bring you plenty of girl things then! Congrats!

I would say your first reaction was correct. I give you kudos for feeling that a second shower is not necessary. Especially in this economy asking others to fund your supply of diapers could sound selfish and make others think you are asking for too much.

Tell your cousin that you don't feel comfortable and that although you appreciate the sentiment you'd like to pass on a shower. Let her know that you'd be happy to spend some time with her and anyone else prior to the baby's arrival to celebrate your good fortune, but please no gifts. I bet you would find that some people will want to send you gifts or cards when the baby arrives anyway, which is fine because it would be THEIR choice out of love, not obligation.

I think you are great and right on track! Good luck and congratulations on the upcoming birth!

Every baby is exciting, special, and should be celebrated... whether born first or last!! If someone doesn't agree, they don't have to come. Have and enjoy your shower, and "Congrats"!

I think you should have a shower for every birth. You may be able to carry some clothes and items over from child to child but you can never have enough diapers, wipes, baby hygiene products, etc. Especially since youre having youre first girl, youll be practically starting over. I had three boys and then a girl and the only thing I could re-use was tshirts and onesies.

A small family shower with close relatives is a bit different from an over-the-top-decorated-hall-catered event!
Keeping it small & at someone's home will help show good taste.
You didn't ask--they offered.
It's the people that insist on planning their OWN showers (so they have it the way THEY want it) that show poor taste.
Enjoy!

It's a nice idea, but on the giving side I would not be to keen on giving another gift.
I mean aren't they for new mom who need ALL the stuff?
Don't you still have everything after only 2 years?

I would appreciate the offer and say yes. If this were my family we would all want to be involved in giving gifts. This baby is a different sex and so will need some different things. A shower is an opportunity to celebrate a new life.

I had a similar conflict of feeling when I was pregnant with my second baby. My first was a girl, and my second a boy. People kept asking when my baby shower was, and I would look at them puzzled and say "It's my second baby..." and then I would get laughed at, as though I didn't know that second babies get showers too! One of my friends put it quite simply "You are having a baby shower because EVERY baby needs to be celebrated!" So I took it.
If it helps think of it this way, you didn't ask for a baby shower, you didn't organize said shower, and it's given by people who want to celebrate a new birth! Not to mention you said your twins are boys and you are expecting a girl now.
My stuff was that I had all girl stuff, all purple and pink clothes/dresses doesn't go so well with a little boy, and now most cribs are converters, my daughters crib was being used as a toddler bed, so I couldn't hand that down either. I did register with my second, but I also send out notes saying that all we really needed was boy's clothing, and that the register was mostly to give an idea of colors that we liked. It was a nice small shower and we got a lot of cute things!

Well, it's not like you're throwing YOURSELF a shower! If someone loves you and wants to do this for you and your new baby, then let her :) If it makes you really uncomfortable, you can ask her to let people know that gifts are optional. But if someone is so offended that they've been invited to a shower that they don't want to buy a gift, I'm betting they won't even attend. I say just enjoy celebrating your new baby girl.

I never had one for my second and third, but that's just how it is in our family; I never expected showers for babies after my first - plus mine are all girls and I breastfed, so all I needed was diapers!

I had a shower for my second who was also two years younger and the first girl. If you want, you could ask that the party be on a smaller scale and call it a "sprinkle." We invited fewer people and put the "sprinkle" wording in a poem on the invitation. People did not feel obligated to bring large gifts. I got mostly girl clothes and diapers, which was exactly what I needed.

Whatever you decide, I think that every child (and pregnancy) is unique and should be celebrated, regardless of gender or spacing. Congratulations!

i would smile and say thank you so much!! if you want to, you can ask that it be kept small, at someones house or something, less fancy, whatever..... good luck :)

Go ahead! I think that every baby should have a shower. I had two boys & finally a baby girl. My family planned each shower & they were so special. Especially since its a girl! Your family will probably still shower you with lots of stuff anyways so let them plan a celebration & shower you with love also. Im sure your cousin doesnt see it as an obligation but rather something special for her son to be god daughter. Enjoy & continue to build the memories

Say you'd love it and maybe ask that it be a "no gift" shower--just have people come to celebrate this wonderful time with you and "shower" you with well-wishes. You could also do a diaper shower--everyone only brings diapers as a gift. Or do a "in leiu of gifts" idea and have people bring baby clothes to donate to a local women's shelter. This is a wonderful time for you and your family--enjoy it! It sounds like you have a great family!

Maybe you should suggest to her to hold a "surprise" shower for you...that way, no guilt on you. :)

I think it is great. I know people are always saying you shouldn't have a baby shower after your first baby, but I think people think of it wrong, this is a shower to celebrate this baby and her upcoming birth. Maybe instead of creating a wish list, maybe your cousin can go with a theme, like books or dresses, that the baby can call her own.

If she wants to do it, I say let her do it. It is nice when you have the opposite gender and people are likely going to buy the new baby girl clothes anyway :) whether it is at a party or otherwise (at least that is how my family is). We didn't have a shower when our 2nd was a boy and we knew the first one was a girl so all we had was PINK AND PURPLE DRESSES :P ick! I had to buy all new stuff and it was expensive! One of my friends just had a different gender baby and her hubby and MIL threw her a surprise shower and everyone brought girly girl clothes. Of course, she is also married into a hispanic family and I believe they have parties for EVERY baby too.

Do it! Every little one needs to be welcomed into the world. The first shower might be for receiving items you actually need but any showers after that is purely for fun, at least in my book! :) Maybe talk to her about doing a blessing way? And just let people know that gifts aren't obligated or even expected.

"Wow!! That's so great! I can't wait to celebrate this baby girl."
L.

Here is what I was told when I was pregnant with #2: You don't have showers for #2 (or more), you have "sprinkles" as every baby deserves new things and you generally don't need as much as you did the first go around. So my friends threw me a "sprinkle" and if anyone didn't want to come then they didn't have to. The only one who felt it was inappropriate was my MIL and she refused to let me invite her friends (who had known my husband for 36 years) and let me tell you they found out about it later and were hurt that they were not there. If people are asking about your shower then it means that they are wanting you to have one and I say go for it. They can always get you diapers or like my cousin whom I know doesn't have much extra got me a bottle brush. She didn't even have to get that, it was her time that she spent with me that day that was important to me.

I know this is a hot button issue for folks, but from what you shared here my advice would be that you tell her thank you so much but you're all set with baby stuff from the previous children. However, you'd love a girls get-together to relax before the baby comes - perhaps the ladies in our family could do an afternoon tea (or get manicures or go to lunch or whatever you want to suggest).