Appropriate Bedtime for Teen Agers

If the teen is responsible for getting his or herself up in the morning- whenever they want.

The rule in my house growing up was- you deal with whatever time you went go to bed, but get out of parents hair by 10.

A lot depends on what time they need to get up in the morning. My daughters start school at 7:00 (high school). My 14yo is in bed about 9:00 on school nights, but never later than 10:00. My 15yo is a night owl, she goes to her room and quiet time at around 9:00 or 9:30, but rarely goes to sleep before 10:00 on school nights.

Weekends it's whatever.

I think it's really up to them. They are the ones who suffer consequences when they don't go to bed early enough, and will probably make up for it the next evening.

It also depends on the age. I'd say 13-14 (middle school) should have a suggested bedtime and high schoolers should figure it out on their own.

My daughter usually likes to be asleep by 10. Her best friend can be awake until 11 or Midnight and still get up every day at 7 and function just fine. They are 13. I think it depends on the kid.

TOTALLY depends on the teenager AND their schedule.

Most I knew in highschool didn't have bedtimes (the whole increasing levels of responsibility thing). They were expected to start learning how to plan ahead, via suffering the consequences if/when they misjudged. They were also expected to set their own alarms and get themselves up and ready in the morning. And if they didn't, would then also suffer the consequences (aka be late... not be drug out of bed by their parents).

My family didn't have bedtimes for us as teens, but we were expected to be in our rooms the majority of the time & relatively quiet after 11pm. Earlier if someone else had an early start the next day (aka if my brother had to be up at 4am and was going to bed at 8pm, it would behoove the REST of us to be quiet earlier). My parents DID take on the responsibility of "dragging us out of bed" in the morning, however. Amazingly enough <rolls eyes> as soon as each of us moved out it took us only 3 or 4 times of being late to figure out how to make sure the alarm was set/ we got up with it. My parents put themselves (and us) through about 10 years of needless torture by assuming responsibility for our punctuality in the morning. When really, it would have been far better for us to have learned how to do it ourselves in HIGHSCHOOL, rather than in college/military/at a paying job. A missed class or day in highschool from time to time while the kids learn how to do it, is a much smaller deal than "in the real world".

I didn't have a bedtime as a teenager. I also knew that if I didn't get to sleep, I would suffer in the morning and throughout the day. So I was reasonable and usually went to bed by 10 on weeknights. My son, 13, would pull all-nighters every night if given the choice, so for him, we have to enforce a bedtime. Technically it's 9:30, but recently, it's been more like 10pm (we'll probably *officially* change it to 10pm pretty soon). Which is ok, because he gets up no problem and it doesn't seem to affect him during the day. I hope that by the time he's in HS, he'll be able to be a bit more responsible and get himself to bed at a decent hour...but we'll see when the time comes. We try to keep the same schedule on weekends so it's easier on Monday mornings.

9:30 weekdayz, last as wants on weekends. LOL before midnight.

My daughter just turned 15 (sophomore) and she doesn't have a bed time. She goes to bed when she is tired. Sometimes that is 9:30....sometimes midnite. She sets her own alarm for school and I've never once had to wake her. If I did have to...she'd have a bedtime :)

They need to learn to listen to their body's signals and that the consequences for staying up too late is hating to get up in the morning.

My 13 year old is in bed by 8pm and lights out no later than 9pm. He's usually asleep by 8:30pm. My 16 year old is in bed by 9pm and lights out no later than 10pm. On weekends, everything is pushed back by an hour unless there's something going on.

I know these seem really early but my boys just need A LOT of sleep to function well the next day (we're up by 6am during the week). Thankfully, it's never really been an issue. If they're tired (or crabby), they'll go to be even earlier. For example, I've had evenings where both boys were asleep by 7:30pm (I LOVE those nights <wink>).

I teach high school and all I can say is that a well-rested child does so much better than one that is tired or living on energy drinks or Starbucks.

Good luck!

Well being as I'm 40 now, back in the 80s, when I was a teen, 10pm was my bedtime during the school week, and 11pm during weekends and holidays. Aside from that though...you have to consider how much homework they have too. If they have a lot, and depending on their pace of completing it, they may need more time to get it done before bed.

Dear K.,

No later then 10 PM during the school week. As for Friday and Saturday, if they are having a sleepover at home or at a friends (where parents are present)...they may stay up all night and sleep in as long as activities are monitored. Personally, my family practice would be to attend church services on Sunday, so I would limit the Saturday activites to midnight, IF they are willing to come with the family to church. If this is not your practice, then you must make you own schedule.

The reason I suggest 10 PM during the school year/week is because they should be doing the homework early, even if there are after school activites, they need to have a good dinner (hopefully with family so everyone can check in as see how the family is doing), study, relax and sleep. Teens need lots of rest and a good diet. (For that matter, so do the rest of us)

Blessings.......

First of all teens sleeping patterns are different than adults. This change in sleeping pattern starts when puberty starts, therefore it's different for different children. For teenagers it's like always being jet lagged. Most of them would naturally go to sleep between 12 and 1 and wake up about 10ish. Unfortunately we have not scheduled school to work with their natural rhythms. So on the weekends they sleep late to make up for lost sleep. Understanding that this is normal helps to set realistic expectations. I don't enforce bedtime. I expect them to be up and ready to leave the house at the appointed time (I tell them I want to leave five minutes earlier than I really want to leave. This works wonderfully for us). On weekends if they don't have anything planned I let them sleep. They need to learn how much they need as an individual and how to manage this. It's part of growing up. As others have said you can't make anyone go to sleep. If it works better for you set a time when they need to be in their rooms.

My daughters (18 yo and 16 yo) go to bed at 7 pm at weekdays and at 6.30 pm at weekends.
Does anyone else put her teens to bed early?

I understand in my mind that you can tell someone to go to sleep for hours and hours but until their body is ready to go to sleep they are not going to go to sleep. We cannot force someone to close their eyes and the instantly go to dreamland. That was hard for me to learn. They need their rest and my goodness they were going to go to bed and go to sleep.

I learned that sometimes my ideals and my DD or grandkids bodies had different ideas.

I agree there needs to be a time that they are required to go to their rooms but they don't have to go to bed then. They need to learn that if they stay up they still have to get up and go to school, still have to be accountable for their assignments and notes during classes, all the things they need to do like visit with their friends, all that requires their attention and if they are sleepy they will miss out. They will learn this very quickly after staying up until the wee hours of the morning a few times.

Depends when the kid has to get up. Count 9-10 hrs of sleep.

My son is 15, soon to be 16...he gets up at 6:15 to get on the bus at 7...and goes to bed way too late in my opinion - usually around 11 (I'm always in bed before him these days!). Alot depends on how much schoolwork he has, or if he has a big test to study for. On the weekends, there is no "bedtime" - but he also gets to sleep late! And by late, I mean around 8:30 (not noon, like alot of his friends do). He was never a big sleeper anyway - gave up his naps for good at a year and a half (sigh). Whoever said teenagers actually require more sleep never met my son!

I have heard in studies it is shown that teenagers that go to bed after midnight suffer from depression more than teenagers that go to bed before midnight. Also, they say teens need at least 10 hours of sleep a night.

Love and logic, I let my kids put themselves to sleep and they do need to have chores done and ready to go to school in the morning when I'm ready to leave or they have to find their own way to school. If they choose to stay home, they get a list of chores and work during school hours. This hasn't had to happen yet, although my son did one time have to pay a friend to take him to school.

I truly think it all depends on the child I have a 13 year old that goes to bed at 830 during school days & if she goes any later you definately can tell in her attitude the next day. I have a 16 year old she goes to bed 9pm but of course weekends they getto stay up a 1/2 hour later but there are times when we are out they stay up later.. but then I know teens that stay up till 930/10 otherwise they are wide awake at lik 5am in the morning. I think it all depends on times kids have to get up in the morning also my girls have to be up 6am sometimes earlier

I have a sophomore and a senior.
During the week, they head up to their rooms at 9 - unless one of their favorite shows are on and we watch together until 10. They usually turn their lights off at 10 or so.
They have to be up at 6.
On the weekend if they don't have anywhere to be, I don't set a bed time. They usually head up at 11 anyway. They sleep late... and I let them. It's their time to catch up.
YMMV
LBC

I've learned this is not something you can really monitor. Instead of making a bed time how about just saying you have to be in your room by 10:30 or 11pm. You can say you want them to go to sleep and all the reasons of why a good nights sleep is great, but you can't really make someone go to sleep.

You can require they be quiet in their room so the rest of the family can get some sleep though.

My 14 yo goes to bed at 10 on school nights and 11 on weekends. Sleepovers have later hours of course and I usual let them decide unless they are loud and keeping me up. If I didn't enforce a bedtime, she would literally stay up all night.

No actual bedtime for my three (18, away at school, 16, and 13).

Tired or not they have to get up for school (and always do, no issues there). If they're tired at school, well I guess they've learned that lesson then!

I still 'tuck in' the two still at home, but this is more because I'M going to bed than them.

Generally they are asleep by 11 on school night s (and yes statistically speaking it is 'not enough sleep' since they get up at 5:55). Weekends anything goes.

:)