I've seen some topics that are similar to mine on here, but not exactly, so I thought I'd ask for some advice. Thanks for reading and any offered advice in advance! Sorry it's so long.
I have a girl who'll be 5 months old in about a week. She's been nursed from birth and only had a bottle or two in the hospital and a little bit the first few days home. Other than that, she hasn't taken to the bottle (we've only tried once so far) and she won't take a pacifier (she took it in the hospital, but we took it away to get breastfeeding established and she's only taken it once since then even though we offer it a bunch). She was a pretty good sleeper for the first few months, even sleeping through the night a few times, but the past month or so has been horrible. She'll nap and go to sleep at night just fine, but she'll wake up a lot at night (sometimes every hour) wanting to nurse. She can't fall asleep very easily without first being nursed, and then usually rocked a bit before I set her down in her crib. At the checkup a week ago, the doctor said that she's associating nursing with sleep, which makes sense, and to try to feed her when she wakes up instead of before sleeping. The doctor suggested helping her get used to sucking on her hands and letting her fuss a little bit before getting her in hopes that she'll soothe herself to sleep.
Okay, my problem right now is that she sleeps really well when swaddled and nurses swaddled too. If I undo the swaddle when I nurse her, she doesn't usually eat and ends up hitting herself the whole time. I don't know if I should get rid of the swaddle all together so she can find her hands or not. But that's hard because she still prefers to be nursed to sleep. I'll give her her hands, and she'll cry. She'll suck on her hands during the day, but never to sleep or anything. I'm not sure what to do because I'm trying not to nurse her much anymore at night, but sometimes it's the only way she'll go back to sleep. I also am trying to extend her feedings during the day instead of feeding her before every nap, but she usually needs to nurse before she'll fall into a deep sleep. I don't mind letting her fuss a little bit, but I don't think I can stand to let her cry hysterically.
Any advice on swaddling (get rid of it? how to nurse/self-soothe with/without it?), self-soothing (she prefers licking her blanket or my shirt over her hands when she's not nursing), schedules (getting on one when she's still nursing/eating every nap), and sleeping (through the night with/without the previous mentioned stuff) would be GREATLY appreciated. This is my second child, but I've never had to deal with this with my first so I'm feeling very lost right now. THANK YOU!
I don't know if you can really encourage a baby to self-soothe in one way or another....they will each discover their own ways. The swaddle is a wonderful soothing technique, though, and it is okay to do it for a while longer. I actually swaddled my son until he was 10 months old.
If I had it to do over again, I would do swaddling as long as possible. At a meeting I attended a lady talked about her trip to Cuba to study nursing - since they all do it over there, and she said they all swaddle and that they never heard any babies crying there. Apparently they even do their toddlers, maybe even older kids and they instantly go to sleep.
I was worried about this as well and tried to wean my son of swaddling around this age, but then gave up since he had a really hard time falling asleep without it. I also suggest swaddling as long as your baby likes it. I swaddled my boy until he wiggled out of it around 7 months. Not long after that, he became attached to his blanket and just laying him down with that and some soft music got him to fall asleep on his own. I know there is concern with SIDS with having blankets in the crib that young, but my son was rolling around just fine and could pull the blanket off his face.
I agree with the Eat Play Sleep method. I just did it with my 5 /12 month old. It took us a few weeks to get on a good schedule. My other question is have you introduced solids yet. Some rice cereal (especially before bed) could be helpful. When we first got my son on Eat Play Sleep it was still only 2 hours between feedings. He would only sleep about 30 min. But the point was I was no longer nursing him to sleep. After about a month he has finally figured out how to sleep longer and stretch out his feedings. I would suggest first getting on the routine and then stretching out the time frame. We would eat, play and then sleep... wether it was 45 min or 10 min of sleep he was doing it himself. Good luck!
I agree with the EASY method. We used Babywise, but the schedule has the same principle, eat when they wake up. My son never associated nursing with sleeping, except at night, when he was nursed and put right back to bed, but he started sleeping through at 10 weeks, so that wasn't very long. Plus, it fuels them for play time, and gives you a better idea of what they are crying for...food....tired, etc.
To start this, you can try to move the feeding up in your schedule, or start cold turkey one morning. Depends on you and her.
As far as swaddling, why not? My son LOVED being swaddled, even though he seemed to fight it. He would fuss and cry a bit, and then go to sleep. At first I thought he hated it and would take him out, and he would SCREAM. There was also a point when I had to nurse him swaddled because he would fuss so much. He usually got out of the swaddle, or at least one arm to suck his thumb, and we stopped swaddling as he consistently got out of it, and didn't seem to need it anymore. If she likes the swaddle, continue...she will let you know when she is done with it. And I think that the 5 month age was when I seemed to have to pin him down to nurse due to his whacking himself and me.
Good luck.
This is a really tough one to answer. Have you tried switching types of bottles/pacifiers? Are you the only one that feeds her? If so, before bed, try seeing if someone else feeding her from a bottle while you're out of the room helps.
I would keep the swaddling for now, it's a comfort to her. The reason I think doctors recommend the hands is because of the taste and warmth of skin reminds her of you. If you found a pacifier that was more like your nipple and warmed it in warm water before you gave it to her, it might help?? As far as schedules and nursing, she still needs to be eating when she's hungry, BUT if you persist and keep trying with the bottle she'll eventually give in. If she won't take the bottle, try distracting her or doing something else for 10-15 minutes and then trying again.
With not sleeping through the night, ask your doctor if your baby is old enough to eat the oatmeal/rice cereal stuff before bed, and if so mix it with some of your breast milk. With my son it worked wonders. The cereal is more filling than just breastmilk, so he didn't wake as often throughout the night hungry. She's still so little, though, so I don't know.
Anyways, sorry I don't have more/better advice.
Good luck!
Change up her routine. Hey if she sleeps great after nursing, what's the harm. For us we did nurse/snack, bath, massage, book, swaddle. Make nursing a part of the routine, just not the last thing. It'll take her a few days to get used to it. My daughter loved being swaddled, and I don't see the harm in doing it as long as they love it. By 6mo. my daughter would get completely out, so we stopped, but she is a thumb sucker and always had to have her left arm out.
S.,
when I nurse my babies I give them a small stuffed animal to hold that way they don't scratch me or them and don't hit me or them. It keeps their hands busy and they nurse better. For self soothing, three out of four of my babies liked to suck on or lick their stuffed animals. The other one sucked her thumb. I like the ty pluffies that are washable for this reason. I get two or three of them so I can wash them weekly if not more.
It might be helpful to rearrange her schedule and feed her when she wakes up and put her down for a nap after she has been awake for about an hour, let her sleep for two. As long as she is getting 6-7 good nursings in the day she should be able to do a long stretch of sleep at night.
If you want want more info, send me a message.
Good luck
E.
My kids would not stand to be swaddled, so I don't have any advice for you there, but for the constant waking -- it sounds like she is teething. My daughter used to wake every hour or so and want to nurse, but unless it had been more than 4 hours (at night) I knew she wasn't hungry, just wanted some soothing. So I would rock her and hold her. It's hard when all you really want is for them to go back to sleep, but you have to be strong or she really will associate nursing with sleep and you end up getting much less sleep in the long run.
You mention that she prefers to lick your shirt or her blanket -- maybe it's time to get her an attachment object that she can use to help soothe her. You can use that as you transition away from swadling.
Good luck!
I don't have any advice for you about swaddling, my son loved it for the first 4 months, and he stopped right around that time.
I would like to share with you what we do for scheduling, and you can take it or leave it! We use the Baby Whisperer's EASY schedule. EASY stands for
E-Eat
A-Activity
S-Sleep
Y-You Time!
So starting when your baby wakes up in the morning, they eat first thing. Then have awake time for activity after that. After about 1-2 hours of activity, then it is time for Sleep, and when your baby sleeps it is You time! This schedule has your baby eating every 3-4 hours, depending on your baby. It just repeats itself through the day, until bedtime!
I thought this might be helpful for you because it really helps train your baby not to associate food with sleep. It has really worked miracles for us, our 5 1/2 month old started sleeping though the night at 6 weeks, and takes 3-4 naps daily. He also learned how to self-sooth (without crying it out) and never needs to nurse to sleep. Every baby is different, and the Baby Whisperer is great because she helps you understand what type of baby you have and then gives different advice for each different type of baby.
If you are interested in this at all I recommend Tracy Hoggs book the Baby Whisperer. It will walk you through step by step how to get your baby onto the easy schedule even if you didn't start with it. She also gives lots of great tips on self-soothing, and sleeping! :)
I hope this helps, good luck with everything!
