Advice on 3 Month Old Sleeping Habits

Maybe you should try to read a book or sing or find somthing else that would be soothing to him so that he could go to sleep....my daughter was similar... since they get use to sucking and fallening to sleep, try using a pacifer only when he goes to sleep though, there for when he gets older he wont be 3 and still haven a binky in his mouth my daughter only gets hers when she sleeps but for a couple of months now she doesnt even want and she sleeps prefectly...hope this helps you out!

It sounds like you have a pretty good routine, but you may want to try putting the pjs on before you feed him. So if he's getting drowsy while you feed him, you can burp him and lay him right down hopefully. We have an almost 3-yr old girl that needed a LOT of rocking (she had some reflux problems that would keep her awake) and a 4-month-old boy, who, if he doesn't go right to sleep, usually just needs another burp.

You know your son. Don't let ANYONE's opinion of what you should or shouldn't do sway you from doing what you think is right for him. I try to put my daughter down before she's completely asleep but sometimes I just enjoy rocking her and holding her sweet little body to mine so I end up rocking her well past the point she's in dream land. Your son is still pretty young, by the time you think you've got him and his sleep habits figured out, he'll change it up on you!
Good luck with your lil man!

Sounds like you're doing great.

My perspective is that it' ok to treat babies like babies and nurse/rock them to sleep. Why do we want them to go to sleep without us? Is that how they are designed? Will it be permanent? My son's weaning and falling asleep without me went together. I ended up nursing until 2 years or so. He is 4 and goes to sleep fine by himself.

I think it's fine to be a parent at night. This a season. Very soon your son will be bigger and not need you.

That's my perspective on babies and sleep.

I used Babywise a little bit but for the most part I don't let him cry for any extended period, not more than 10 minutes at a time. My son is now 16 months and we have always rocked him to sleep. You are not hurting him by doing this. It's just a parenting choice. A lot of parents just want to be able to put the baby done and not have to spend the extra time getting the baby to sleep. And that's fine, but I'm a working mom and I cherish the 20 minutes I spend rocking him to sleep. do what makes you comfortable. Now that my son is older he sometimes will fall asleep in my arms but a lot of times I just rock him until he winds down and put him in his crib awake and either rub his back until he's a sleep or leave him on his own until he falls asleep. Sometimes he will lay quiet in his crib and go to sleep on his own but many times he wants me to rub his back. If I wind him down first, it's a matter of minutes of me rubbing his back before he falls asleep.

When we move him from crib to bed, I will probably continue to rub his back or sing to him or whatever the bedtime routine changes to. It constantly changes to fit his needs as he grows and develops.

My advice is to do what is a good fit for you and your baby and don't worry so much about what the experts say. I spent a lot of time reading and obsessing and my son is thriving and is a VERY happy child and I am happy because I know he feels loved. We can see it in his eyes!

Good luck and feel free to send me a private message if you have any other questions.

You are on a good track. I highly recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby". The great thing about the book, is that it helps us understand the sleep needs of a baby at each stage. The crying it out part is later (around four months). But I just used the information on the babies sleep needs, and skipped the cry it out part until much later. Even if you never do the cry it out, it is a good read.

I think what you are doing is right on. I've been in your shoes twice before. One of my kids got it right away and one took much longer. I did the same as you. Put them down awake and let them try on their own. I could never handle the cry it out method but knew it wouldn't do good to run back in right away so I would go back in as soon as they got hysterical or after 5 min of normal cry/whine. i had to do it my way or i wouldn't be able to sleep at night. At 3 months, you are ahead of the game. My Dr. told me not to bother trying until 3-4 months

Hi M.,
I myself have a 2 1/2 months old girl and I am struggling when it comes to letting her fall asleep on her own. What works for me is after changing her and putting her in her pyjamas and burping her,I rock her to sleep and when she is almost ready to sleep , I put her in the crib and hope she falls asleep on her own. If she doesn't sleep, I give her a pacifier( some people may not like this but it works for me).At this point, the baby should not be crying because he/she is fed and changed. The first 6 months are about survivor, so take baby steps and do what works for you( pick him up, use a pacifier , sing, swaddle) basically whatever makes him sleep. It is to soon to put the baby on some kind of schedule right now. Take baby steps for now. Another thjing that you can do is to let your husband put the baby to sleep, he is more likely to handle the crying baby better than you can, at least that is what I do.Good luck and remember that what works for one baby may not work for yours! so, do what works for you and only you!

A little about me: I am married to a wonderful man ,have two girls, one is almost 3 year and the other is 2 1/2 months old baby.

I always found the routine important, but got sucked (no pun intended) into letting my youngest nurse herself to sleep and then wake up wanting to nurse until she was almost 11 months old. She was an extreemly colicy baby and I just wanted her to stop crying. This may work for some, but i was miserabe. With my oldest, we gave her a bottle before bed, but didnt pump enough to do that with #2. Anyway, I ended up having to have her cry, but never let it go for more than about 5-10 minutes if it was real crying - I would let her fuss longer. I had to be strong for a few days & nights. I also gave her a blankie and stuffed puppy since she didnt want a passifier. She now is 21 months old and goes to bed very nice, some nights needing a couple extra hugs and reassurances that it is indeed bed time for everyone. And although at first did not care about them, she now grabs the puppy or blanket and dives happily in bed. Last night she sang old McDonald until she fell asleep, which looking back at her first year, astounds me! Anyway, you know best. Follow your gut and it will all work out. Try not to stress out about it too much. Good Luck!!

Don't let anyone tell you that you have to let your baby cry now or teach him to fall asleep on his own at 12 weeks. I nurse my 9mo old boy and sometimes he will still fall asleep on my breast and that is fine with me. However, because we established a pattern early on of bath, pjs, nursing, and if he doesn't want to nurse (he is giving up the evening one himself as he gets older -- but he takes in about 28 oz of breastmilk a day while I work and morning nursing..so no worries) we rock for 2 verses of a song I have sang to him since he was a baby and I put him down. He has a 2 yr old sister and it is pretty much the same one I sing her with a few changed words. It takes a while to establish a pattern but after a while they get used to "this is sleep time". I generally didn't let my little one cry himself to sleep (we did however sleep train and get rid of the middle of the night feedings at 7 months) because I don't want him to wake his sister who had been going to sleep 1/2 hour earlier while I nursed him. Now he knows it is bedtime by our routine and rarely lets out a peep! Good luck...it will come. You are extremely blessed that your baby is such a good sleeper at such a young age :)

I agree it's more of a personal choice. It is more convenient when your child can fall asleep on his or her own, but raising children isn't convenient! I have found the advantage to helping my children fall asleep is they have positive and comforting feelings about going to bed and napping.

Hi M. If this works why not!!!! It no harm him helping him fall asleep.

I also have a 3mo old who was good from the start w/sleeping. Bedtime we had a ritual..lullaby CD, ocean sounds(for when the CD stopped), change diaper, PJ's, feed. Once she was done feeding I burped her while standing and rocking her. Then i would put her in the crib. If she started to cry I would use a pacifier and rub her belly(lightly) so she felt my presence while shooshing.We never got to the red in the face screaming doing this.If you still get that, it may be a burp. I have picked her up to get a loud one out and then I felt bad like duh no wonder she is crying!! Did this every night and she is great now, it did not take long for her to catch on. I also incorporated using some lavendar lotion on her chest when she gets her PJ's on, only at bed time though. You sound like your doing everthing great..honestly whatever works do it regarless of what books say. A sleeping baby is a happy parent! also I find starting at 630 or 7 helps. good luck-

try using the Baby Whisperer's EASY method for a schedule, and the Happiest Baby on the Block 5 s's method. Those two combined will make cio not be a needed thing (at that age)
EASY - when the baby wakes up it Eats. After you feed it, then it has Activity - bouncy seat, tummy time, sitting up and playing with toys, swing, exersaucer, etc. When the baby gets fussy check the B's - boredom, butt or burp. If it's none of those then off to Sleep. Don't wait for the baby to do more than get the tiniest bit fussy, then see what is causing the fusses - if it's just that they needed their diaper change do that, but if it's not the activity is boring, the butt is dirty or they have to burp, then put them down. This may happen after as short as 45 minutes, don't freak, it really means they are tired.
Now, to get them to sleep use the 5 s's. Swaddle the baby, hold the baby on their side and sway as they suck on something (paci, your knuckle or their finger/thumb) and make a shush noise. This will calm your baby. When the baby is calm, but not asleep yet, keeping them swaddled lay them in the bed. I like to pat them instead of sway after a minute or two cause you can still pat after they are put down but you can't sway, so pat the baby and continue patting gradually decreasing it as you put them in the bed. Also continue the shushing as you put them down, again gradually getting quieter.
If you do these two you will find a well rested, easily managed baby in no time.

I highly recommend these resources....

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

"Distressed Babies Need to be Held"
http://www.mothering.com/crying-comfort-distressed-babies...

"Babywise Advice Linked to Dehydration, Failure to Thrive"
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm

As the mother of a former high-need child, I also highly recommend a lot of holding and rocking and nursing. Your baby had non-stop 24/7 physical contact with you for the only life that he had known until birth (in the uterus). For him, to try to sleep on a hard, non-flesh, surface that doesn't move or make sounds is a very strange experience indeed, especially as early as 3-4 months of age. Ashley Montagu, an anthropologist, in his book "Touching" says that human babies aren't actually done with their gestation until 9 mo. after their birth. So he says that ideally they should be held continually for the first 9 months of their post-birth life.

http://www.amazon.com/Touching-Human-Significance-Ashley-...

I also highly recommend using a lambskin specifically designed for baby-use (they are real lambskin but can be laundered as needed).

http://www.sheepskintown.com/baby-sheepskin-short-wool-p-...

http://www.kiwi-sheepskins.com/detail.asp?product_id=BA001

http://www.sheepskinfurs.com/27-baby-lambskins.html

You might also find some help by taking a look at this book, which is probably in your local public library (or at least available through inter-library loan)...

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Bed-Concept-Child-Rearing/dp...

Cooperation with what a baby needs (rather than expending a lot of energy in fighting those needs) often makes everybody happier and healthier.

I do not recommend letting him cry it out. I believe that that kind of treatment causes a deep grief in babies, which can leave internal emotional scars for the rest of their lives (unless they get treatment for it).

I also disagree with the belief that if you don't let him cry it out, then for many years you will have a child who will not transition to a more grown up style of sleeping. The people who practice attachment parenting, in which the parents respect the needs and natural growth patterns of their children, have found that the opposite is true. Those children who frequently have their requests for holding and nursing and sleep needs denied are the ones who are most commonly the fearful and tense and clingy ones. Those children who are constantly respected and made to feel heard, and who get the amount of holding and nursing and physical contact that they ask for, are the ones who are peaceful and self-confident and more likely to move on to separations from their mothers at a normal pace.

I often think that people who suggest the cry-it-out method might feel differently about the issue if they would think about how they themselves would feel if they were asking and asking and asking for love and holding and attention and comfort and reassurance and a listening ear, and getting ignored by their loved ones (husbands, family, friends, pastors, or whoever their support network is), and then sobbing and sobbing and sobbing for that, and still getting ignored by their loved ones.

When a baby starts waking up more times in a night than s/he had been for awhile, it simply means that s/he is going through some kind of change or development stage in which s/he NEEDS more holding or nursing or something, NOT that they are somehow regressing in a negative sense. When we ignore those needs, we are not being sensitive to or caring for our babies' legitimate growth processes and changing needs. The baby has no way of reading the mind and knowing of the good intentions of her/his mother. The baby can only feel ignored and unheard and abandoned and alone and very, very, very profoundly sad and grief-stricken.

I would also like to add that if you start giving him a pacifier, you may find that your milk supply may start decreasing.

Best wishes,
J.