Advice for Sending a Late Birthdate to Kindergarten or Not

First and foremost......it's NOT just about holding her back because she's not emotionally ready. I used to do kindergarten screening. Some kids knew states and capitals in alphabetical order but were NOT ready socially or emotionally. TRUST ME.....as a teacher.....ALL of this is important. On top of that.......as a mother......utilize that time to work with her. Wouldn't you rather the child be at the top of her class in all aspects vs. a bit behind on others which may create problems for her, the teacher AND the rest of the students? Is it really worth it???

My grandaughter starts kindergarten next fall. She has been in pre-school. It really helped. But I want to tell you about a web site that helps. The kids play matching games and games that they have to listen and put things in order. I hope you have a computer. The site is: www.cogcon.com/gamegoo/gooey.html We used the fisher_price sie too.

I was in the same situation, my oldest has a late birthday. I asked the school physcologist and she said she never had anyone say they wish they would have pushed them ahead, but plenty that wish they would have waited. We waited and started her later. It was an excellent decision. I think there is so much expected out of them at a young age. My oldest is now in 4th grade and it was definately the right decision to wait. School is hard! Giving them an extra year to prepare is a huge benefit.

I would also talk with the school, they should be able to give you advice. A preschool teacher (who used to teach k-6) said a lot of the time 3rd grade is when you would start seeing problems, just because that is when the big jump in school work starts.

To be honest - I do not think that the issued will be kindergarten or elementary school as much as middle school and high school. I have been in this place with a couple of my kids, my DH was pushed ahead as well as my nephew.

Where you will really find the effects of not 'holding them back' will be in later years. Most every one else is staying back - now people are holding back kids with spring birthdays.

That will mean your child will be a year or more younger then a not of other kids. That plays in when they are in middle school - already trying to act older than they are. Now your child will be younger than everyone and trying act older.

In high school - it becomes a problem with being able to work and drive. Everyone is getting a job and they have extra spending money and your child can not work. Same with driving. The other kids will begin to pick on your kid for not being able to drive - or they will get tired of always having to give your kid a ride.

If your child is into sports - the extra year can really be and advantage too. Plus in school - added maturity is a good thing all around!

Hi A.!

I too, had to make this decision a few yrs ago. My son's birthday is mid August and cutoff was the end of August. Given everything he knew for being Kindergarten ready, we chose to send him. Another year at home/preschool and he would have been bored to tears. At our first meeting with his teacher before the beginning of school, we reminded her of his young age and to please keep it in mind when giving him directions (like too many at once!), or expecting him to wait in line for long periods of time. There has been a few times that his maturity level has made it more difficult, but with the teacher's understanding, cooperation and your help, your daughter can have a wonderful experience. My little guy is in 2nd grade now, and as each month goes by, it becomes easier for him to relate to the older kids in class and respond to the teachers in a more mature manner. With every parent-teacher conference, I mention how well he is doing with their expectations for being the youngest in his grade. His academics match or excede those of his classmates. He did struggle with no afternoon nap, and would sometimes come home cranky. The best answer to that problem is an earlier dinner and bedtime. I hope this insight helps. We have never regretted our decision to send him. Good luck!

R.

You can try this if you want, but I have seen so many four year olds get burned out and have to repeat kindergarten. This happened to my son. While we were in Germany The cut off date was October 31st. Right on my son's birthday. He started in Sept. I have regretted it ever since. If I had it to do all over again. I would have kept him my baby just one more year. That is what he wanted anyhow. He's okay now, He's graduated and a United States Marine. But we had difficulty the first three years of school. Take my word for it. Most four year olds are not ready. Besides What's the rush. LOL. They grow up so fast.

A.,

I am sorry that i dont have any children this old yet but i am a prechool teacher that has help many familys. Only you know your child the best! Is she in a preschool? if she is what do her teachers think? as a prechool teacher i will tell you that emotional/ social is a big part of development at this age that she will need to help her grow in kindergarten. They do learn how to sit still and listen but it is important that she has those skills before as well. Sence her Birthday is before the cut off The school system should do more evaulations on her then the regular
kindergarten screening. and there is nothing wrong with your daughter being the oldest child in her class it gives them a edge with heping the younger students and helping the teacher at the same time.

good luck
M.

I thought my son was ready for kindergarten. He passed the Kindergarten readiness test with flying colors. He knew everything. His birthday was a few weeks b4 the cut off. I thought he was ready. Turned out he was mentally ready just not physically. I ended up having him repeat 1st grade and that was the best thing i could have done. The teachers do well with working with kids who arnt quite emotionally ready, Some do well my neice who my sister did think was ready did, my son didnt.

HI A., I'm in pretty much the same spot with my son. I've been worrying about this probably more than I should be. Worrying to the point where I've been asking every parent, teacher, physician, and colleague I encounter what their thoughts are(I'm pretty sure my friends are getting sick of me!). Anyway, the overwhelming response I've recieved is to wait if you are unsure that the child is ready. Some of the reasons I've been given: 1. It is much less traumatic to hold back at the kindergarten level, most kids have no idea they're waiting. 2. As the child gets into higher grades it is generally easier to challenge a child who is doing well in school than it is to help a child who is struggling. 3. The child will be more mature and therefore more confident. At this point I have decided to send my young 5 year old to kindergarten at a private school this year, evaluate his progress and then possibly have him repeat kindergarten in the public school that he will go to for the rest of his school career. I've learned of many parochial schools and traditional day care centers who are now doing pre-K and young 5 type programs. Maybe there are programs like that available in your area. I guess we can never be sure we are doing the right thing for our kids, but just the fact that you're putting so much thought into it has to help a little right!?!--Katie

A little about me: I'm a nurse and the mom of a 4 year old boy.

A., We have a son whose birthday is just 10 days or so after each school year starts, ... when we came up to the time for kindergarden registration when he was just shy of 5 years old, the school said that we could start him - only if he were to get a 100% on the kindergarden testing. Well, we decided that was way too much pressure to put on a little guy from the very beginning. With all the tests and pressures they are already going to get once they start school it just wasn't worth it. Our son did attend pre-school before this = 3 days at age 3, 4 days at age 4 and 5 days at age 5. ~~~ We decided on full day kindergarden when he was just the 10 days or so shy of 6 and I feel it was the best decision we have ever made for him. That one year definately made a difference - he was more confident, more capable of listening, and just all around more mature. He definately needed that extra year. There may be a difference between boys & girls but, overall, I believe it is totally individualized with each child. I know of two other moms who waited also and were very glad they did. Good luck.

I have twins with a late birthday, and although they are smart enough and academically ready for kindergarten, we are waiting another year because I'm told that come 4th and 5th grade is when you can really tell who is younger in the classes; they have a more difficult time with reading comprehension, and other things. So although right now they'd be fine, later we'd regret this decision.

The other thought I've had is that really, in the long run, what's one more year if it will make that much difference for them in their academics? I'm really giving my kids another year of worry free childhood rather than another year of not so worry free adulthood later!!

I know this is a hard decision; Good luck to you and your husband.

Trouble following directions sometimes? DO NOT DO IT. Only askoing for trouble down the line. Look for a daycare that will stimulate her thinking, and school proceedures. Check with the school system to see if there IS early admittance testing which might make sending her early official. Better to hold her back now than to have to hold her back later in her education, if necessary. My daughter was extremely bright and started a week ahead of the cutoff date, but she dropped outof school in high school (thought she knew it all) and didn't get her GED until 22.

I know that you have had tons of advice, and truthfully I have not read them. But I have worked with kids my whole life and I 100% believe that they should NOT start school so early. They may know their numbers etc., but they are not socially ready and believe me that is a huge issue.

Also, would you rather your child be the possibly smallest and youngest in the class, or maybe the tallest and oldest in the class? The reason I ask is that many of the younger kids go through their school years falling behind because they just are not up to their peers socially. And this spills over into academics.

My father was one of those that went early and he told me that his one bit of parenting advice was, "do not send your child to school early". He had a very tough time with it.

But at the end of the day it is your call. You could request a meeting with the kindergarten teachers, and if you had your child in pre-k, talk to that teacher also.

Good luck!

R.

Mom of a 27 yr. old son, 17 yr.old son, and 8 yr.old. daughter, along with a hubby and a dog!

My daughter actually turned 5 after the cut-off date and I had her tested, she got in. Now she's in first grade, reading at a third grade level and doing second and third grade math! Children will behave differently for other people - I still remind her, "would you do that if Mrs. "Smith" said not too?" - they have a different level of respect for them. If you feel she's ready, then send her. I can't imagine my daughter only being in kindergarten this year... she's usually bored in her first grade class! Good luck, whatever your decision!

My advice as a mother and as an elementary special education teacher is to WAIT!!! There are several factors that play into your child's success in school, one of them, that parents often overlook, is social readiness. Many times I see children who are sent early. Sometimes they do fine in the first year or two, but then it starts going down hill in the second or third grade. I am not saying that this is always the case, but I can usually go into any kindergarten classroom and guess correctly who has an early birthday and who's parents waited. Sitting still, taking turns, accepting one another socially, along with the academics is crucial for success. Think of it this way: you may do fine completing your tasks at your job, but would get fired if you didn't know how to talk to your co-workers, accept criticism, or adjust to new situations..

As a mother of two (and another one on the way), I have waited that extra year and enjoyed them one year longer. They have the rest of their lives to focus on school, why not give them that gift of a year and enjoy them that much longer? I have never regretted waiting. They are among many students in their classes who's parents chose to do the same. Look at it this way, when they approach their teenage years, do you want them to be the first at driving? That frightens me!! Sports would be a little easier too.

I hope this helps. Know that any decision you make is yours and be proud of it!

I had the same dilemma with my son. After talking to his preschool teachers and his ped. I decided to hold him back for one more year of preschool. It wasn't that I thought he wasn't smart enough, it was the emotional aspect I was worried about. After this year of full day kindergarten, I am so happy that I held him back! His teacher just recently told me that was the best thing I could have done. Boys also mature later than girls. I would talk to her teachers now to see what they recommend and if she isn't in preschool definitely keep her back a
year. I have an education degree and I have never heard of a parent regret holding their child back, only regret putting them in too early. You know her best so go with what you think is best. You don't want it to be a bad experience for her. Good luck!

My daughter is a Sept. 1 baby so I went thru this same thing. She was academically and physically ready but socially she was very quiet in large classroom settings. My suggestion would be to go ahead and do the testing so that you can talk with the counselor about your concerns. Our school here in Aurora has kindergarten screening early in the spring. She tested very high academically so I was afraid that we were doing her a disservice by not sending her. I actually spoke with a teacher during the screening who assured us that she would be challenged if we waited a year. She made the point that it's not about how they are now as much as what happens later on in 3rd and 4th grade. That's when things seem to level out and you see the difference in age due to maturity issues. We decided to wait and I have not regretted it for a minute nor have a met a parent who did regret waiting. This was such a difficult decision for us so I wish you well. No matter what you decide, I'm sure you'll make the right choice. Good Luck!

Hey A.,

Here is another perspective for you, as an educational advocate for children with disablities, I have seen the negative effects of holding children back that you probably would not notice if you are just looking at the early benefits and dont look down the road. Holding your child back has two huge drawbacks, and you are taking a caclualted risk that one or both will not apply to your daughter.

1. Invervention for learning problems are given to children base upon their grade equivilent, not age. If your child needs specialized instruction to read, write, do mathmatics or any other area (and you cannot tell that right now, she may be smart, but that does not rule out learning disablilites in any way, and accidents happen every day) then she cannot get it until she performs significantly below grade level. It will NOT matter that she is older than everyone else! Even if you diagnose a problem early and identify a specialized instruction that will result in progress, you will have to wait until she is behind her grade to get specilized instruction.

If this is an issue for your daughter, then you have gaurenteed that she will loose a full year of appropriate instructional/intervention opportuniy if you hold her back. It is a caculated risk, %10 to %14 of kids in any given class will need such instruction to make progres. That is about two in every classroom, and for language development, kids do not have an extra year to wait around because the window closes sometime between age 8 and 10 when language issues are easily remediated.

2. There is stong emperical evidence (measurable, repeatable) about the effects of holding back once they reach grade 11 and 12. There is a positve correlation between clinicalally significant oppositonal behavior in the last years of high school and being among the oldest in your grade level.

Look ahead, and know the risk that you take as well as the benefit that you could gain.

M.

Hi A.-
I also have a 4 yr old who will miss the cut off. She turns 5 in the middle of November. I have no doubts that I could challenge the cut off dates and have her tested to get early admission. She is very smart, learns quickly, is extremely well behaved, follows directions without a problem, plays well with others, etc... but we will not be requesting early admission, and if her birthday was within days/weeks of the cutoff, we would hold her back.
If we were to send her, I think she would adjust fine, and of course we would work with her academically to make sure she always was on top of things... but...
What about when she gets into highschool and she is a year behind most of the other girls in her class? She would lack the maturity to make the necessary decisions about peer issues. We would be giving her crash courses in reality, common sense, sexuality, relationships, etc... but knowing something and understanding something are two different things, as well as making decisions about these things and more. I would always be worried that, due to her age and maturity, that she would be easily flattered by boys, and be naive to their ways. I think overall, we could make sure that she did well academically, but that she would struggle socially, and that may do more harm in the end. She has a right to friends that she can relate to, and deserves the maturity so she can learn to socialize at her own pace.

I don't think there should be a rush to get the kids into school. You get them for 5 yrs at the beginning and then that's it - - they're at school for the next 13-17-21 years. I want to enjoy my last year of having her to ourselves. I enjoy teaching her at home and watching how proud she is of herself - and I'm proud of myself for being the one to teach it to her. I know her best, and I enjoy promoting the qualities and talents I see developing in her before she gets put into a system where everyone follows the same routine. I don't see the need to get them in kindergarten asap - - if they are learning at home, they will do fine when they get there, and as long as you continue to support their education at home, they will excel regardless if they started early or not. My 5 older children did not go to preschool, and did not start kindergarten early, and they are at the top of their classes. The standardized testing that is done every year ranks them in the 80-90th percentile. I believe that an active role at home makes more of a difference than starting early.
I've been reading a lot of the posts, and it seems that some people thought that by holding the child back, that the child will be bored because an older kindergartener would find the academics too easy. Both sides of the issue can be debated, but in later grades, it's easier on your child to find them advanced and more challenging classes if they are bored with their grade level, but more damaging if you send them early and have to put them in remedial class down the line because they can't keep up.

My son has a March birthday and the deadline was right around the cut off. He had attended pre-school for 2 years. I took him to the screening and he did ok. When I mentioned to the teacher going over his results that I was considering keeping him back a year, she agreed with me that I should. The areas where he scored lower were the more maturity areas. He and his best friend stayed in pre-school for another year, and I haven't regretted it at all. He is now 14 and in 7th grade. He gets good grades and thinks it's cool that he's older than the other kids. And he knows why. It wasn't because he was held back in grade school, it was because mommy kept him home another year.

Hi A., I have 2 things. First, as a substitute teacher, I sub probably close to 85% of the school year, I am going to say that most of the children coming into Kindergarten do not enter the doors ready to sit still and learn. It takes work on the teachers part to teach the children the routines and how to do things in the first week of school. As they learn what is expected of them, they will rise to the occasion so to speak. My feeling is you have to weigh the pros and cons. This leads me to the second thing. I homeschooled my 2 girls...one for a pre school curriculum, kindergarten, and 1st grade and the other for Preschool and kindergarten. My 2nd child has a sept. 26 birthday and barely made the cut off. However, after going through the preschool part and her listening in and sitting in on the kindergarten instruction for my other daughter, she ended the preschool year knowing how to read..she was 4. So, thinking about starting kindergarten, I really didn't have a choice to delay her. It would probably have been a disservice to her. She did go to a public school in 1st grade and she, being shy anyway, was quite reserved in the classroom. I chalk that up to being shy and maybe somewhat socially immature. By the end of last year and the beginning of this school year, she was more social and offering to answer questions in class and even did an oral report in front of her whole class...that was BIG for her. SO, I said all of that to say...unless your child is extremely immature, I would recommend sending her. One last thing, you are her Mom and you know her better than anyone else, so go with your "intuition" and don't second guess yourself.

Sincerely,
M.

I have a daughter whose birthday is 16 days past the cut off and I sent her to a private school to kindergarden and she is now getting ready to go into 2nd grade and during her 1st grade year she got on the honor role and did great in kindergarden. I would say follow what you believe she is your daughter and no one else's and you know her best. I got a lot of people telling me I was doing the wrong thing and it turned out to be the perfect thing for my baby girl. I also have a 5yo who is a February birthday and she is getting ready to go into kindergarden and they are both in private schools. I have found as a mother you need help and advice sometimes but you know your child best, and I hate to say it we know them more then their dads more so with girls so do what you know will be right for your girl.

My son turned 5 the day after the cut off for kindergarten. He already knew all his shapes, letters, could count to 100, and write his name. I had to write to the superintendent to get permission for him to start "early". At first he had a bit of trouble socializing, sitting still, and following directions. Yet he was doing great with his school work. Between the teacher and my husband and I, we were finally able to convince him that when he misbehaved at school, he would be disciplined at home as well. A couple of trips to visit his classroom, and constant contact with his teacher helped tremendously. Now my "early starter" is in advanced math, has lots of friends, and behaves *most* of the time.
I was afraid at first that we had made the wrong decision, but all has turned out well. I am glad he started early. Good luck!

Girls are different from boys, so it really depends on your daughter. My son started school 2 weeks after his 5th birthday (which is in August). He was already reading and doing math, and I just knew he'd be bored to tears doing another year of pre-K. In hindsight, I wish someone had told me in really strong terms to wait. Now he is in fifth grade, and is still emotionally younger than his classmates. He has very few friends. He has never learned appropriate "friend-making behavior", because other kids form friendshops with kids at their own emotional comfort level. Your daughter may be bright and capable, but you need to think whether she is outgoing and mature enough to hold her own with a bunch of older kids.

A.,
It really depends on the teacher and what other kids are in the class. Some kids feed off the behavior of the others....good or bad!! Most kids in kindergarten do not sit still that long or listen all that well(as far as following directions). The teachers should be use to that. Your child will learn to do these things a little at a time. What you might also think about is "at what age will she be leaving the house to go to college?" I had the opportunity to place my child ahead 1 grade as she was well advanced with the work. I thought about her leaving for college at 16/17 instead of 17/18 and thought it better to keep her with the younger crowd. They grow up too fast as it is!!!
Good Luck!!!

Hi A.. Obviously from all of the other posts, the trend is to hold them back a year. I also had a late birthday daughter. She attended preschool and knew all the letters and numbers. She also doesn't sit still well and has a hard time following directions. We started her on time and she has done well. She has some issues with following directions and getting her work done. I spoke with her teacher about it,and if she felt that she needed to repeat kindergarten, she told me that some children will always have a hard time sitting still and following directions. They grow into adults who have a hard time sitting still and following directions. You know some of them. They usually become entrepreneurs and type A personalities. Some kids are just like that. All the time in the world won't "cure" it. You know your child. You know if it is a "maturity issue" or a "personality thing." Someday my daughter who has her own mind and doesn't like to sit still and color papers will be running at least half the world! I'll be so proud, until then I'll always be pulling my hair out! I'll probably see you at the meetings for the hair club for women.LOL

A. -

I was in a similar situation as you last year. My daughter's birthday is in July, so she's a little older than your daughter. She was ready as far as her knowledge skills, but I wasn't sure about her emotionally. I worked very closesly with her preschool teachers to get their opinions (they were concerned that she was not quite emotionally mature), and went ahead and registered her for part day kindergarten, and also registered her for a 3rd year of preschool. We went through a screening process at the elementary school, and got an opinion that she was right on the line when it came to her emotional readiness. I feared that she would be bored with preschool again (although there are some schools that offer "Pre-K" programs that are more advanced than regular preschool.

Bottom line, I felt that she could do it, and she started kindergarten in the fall. There were some struggles with paying attention, eyes on the speaker, etc. however, I just worked with her. If you do have half day kindergarten available, you might want to consider that option - my daughter didn't nap anymore, but the first month of kindergarten was exhausting to her, and she napped every day.

Good luck!

K.

Our oldest will be 5 in about a week. Like your daughter, he knows the things he needs to know, but he is not socially prepared. We have talked to many friends and many teachers who have told us that had they known then what they know now, they would have started kindergarten later for their own children. It took me a while to get my head around the fact that our son will be one of the oldest kids in his graduating class, but he'll have an opprtunity for advance placement if that is appropriate in the future. Social imaturity can be difficult in a class of 20-25 kids. It can be disruptive for the class and embarrassing the child. I hope that helps.

As a mom and a Montessori Preschool and Kindergarten Teacher, I would like to offer a little advice. Each child is different so there is no general rule but keep in mind that you know your child best. If you think she needs more time, then chances are she does. In most cases, I would say that the academics will catch up but children that lack the social and emotional skills sometimes have a more difficult time in kindergarten. There is also a long time between the time that your child signs up for kindergarten and the time your child actually attends kindergarten so there is a lot of time to develop more skills. Good luck with your decision.

Hi A.,
I happen to be a Pre-K teacher. I teach a class designed for children just like your daughter. I have summer birthdays up to Dec. The emotional is the biggest key piece to being ready and I'm assuming the teachers have shared the concerns that you mention. Your concerns are the real reasons to hold her another year. Kindergarten is often like the old 1st grade so being able to really be in school, focus and do work will sustain her sense of confidence.
Most elementary teachers I've talked to say cognitively it all evens out by 3rd grade. emotionally her self esteem, capacity for problem solving and sitting is important. I often suggest parents think even beyond elementary but High School. How young do you want your daughter dealing with issues of boys, riding in cars and parties. Last but not least my daughter was a young 5 and she is doing well but she was an extremely confident 2nd child and even for her there were cycles of time that were very challenging. I will say college was another factor that she is managing but was a concern. She hadn't even turned 18 when she went. There is a lot to take into consideration and it's great your thinking about it so carefully.
Good Luck

My triplets are 4 years old and I will be holding them back a year in school. They know what is needed to get in school but I dont feel like they are quite ready yet. Their bday is in august so they are close to the deadline.

But I spoke to a lady who sent her child to kindergarten and she was not ready. Now the little girl is in 4th grade and is falling behind because her mom said se was trying to save some money. She regrets it now.

Go with your gut instinct. Good luck with your decision.

I have a daughter who is now in the 1st grade. I was worried about her sitting still and following directions when she started school. I went to her first conference and asked the teacher how she was about sitting still and doing what she was supposed to. The teacher told me she was great and did very well with directions. I was a little shocked because she was not like that at home. Kids act differently in other enviroments. She may be your little girl but she might get to school and be like a little adult. She sounds very bright and going to school will challenge her to learn more. You can always send her to see if it will work out. If it is to much for her to handle then just take her out until next year. You never know what a child is capable of doing until you put them in a situation. She will let you know if she likes it or not. If it ends up being to much for her then you can say at least you tried. Don't hold her back if you are not sure it is the right thing to do. It never hurts to try.

My youngest daughter's b-day is 9/12 cut off is 9/30 and she was definitely not mature enough to start kindergarten ( especially since it was all day every day kindergarten). I got a lot of pressure from the school to put her in. They didn't seem to think repeating kindergarten if needed would be a problem, however having failed first grade myself, I knew how socially and emotionally damaging it can be, so I went with my gut and started her in preschool instead which got her in the swing of things. I wanted school to be a positive experience, and for her to start out with success to build her confidence. She is in kindergarten this year and she is doing very well. Her teacher later told me that I had made the right choice. Just because your kid may be old enough chronologically, does not mean they are emotionally mature enough for the class room. When it comes down to it the choice is yours, after all who knows your child better? I am so glad I chose to keep my little one out an extra year. Good luck!

As an elementary school teacher and mom, and a former kindergarten student who was held back an extra year, my advice is to wait. Obviously I don't know your child, but in my experience it only proves to give the child a bit of an edge, especially in the maturity factor. There is so much stress even in the younger grades with testing, testing, testing. I think it is nice to let kids be kids as long as possible and not to stress them out too early. Good luck-I am sure whatever you decide will work out best in the end.

I am a first grade teacher, and my advise for parents is always to give the children more time with those late birthdays. It doesn't show up at 4 years old but sometimes it does show up as the children mature. Your daughter will always be one of the youngest, some of the children might be a whole year older. It really does make a difference, and if given the choice, why not give her the best chance to do her best right from the start.

I was the same way, and the school district tried to talk my mom out of sending me, but she was perstitant. It was the best thing she ever did. If she didn't I would have been the oldest in my class, developed before my peers and probably won't have fit in with the other girls because of this. Go with your gut. Your daughter will thank you later for it, I did!

My son was an early starter for kindergarten. In the state we were in the cut-off limit was Sept. 1 and his b-day was Aug 8. He is and was very, very bright, but we ended up putting him into transitional or pre-first after kindergarten because he was not mature enough to handle a class with the structure of first grade. I didn't know I had a choice at the time. Knowing that now, I would have waited a year. It would have been easier on his self-esteem to wait and not struggle so much to succeed. As it was he was in trouble a lot of the time because of his lack of self control and listening skills which hurt his heart and then he didn't move up into first grade with the rest of his class which made him feel like a failure. If all it takes is one year to insure a better chance at success and high self-esteem for me, had I known, that would have been a pretty small price to pay.

You might consider that if you wait for kindergarten you could put her in a more advanced preschool with a kindergarten-like curriculum for that year.

A.,
We had my son tested in early for Kindergarten he missed the cutoff by one week. He too is very smart but has always had maturity issues because he is the youngest in the class. I know girls mature faster than boys but my advice is don't rush it. They have many, many years of school ahead of them and putting them in before they are socially or emotionally ready is gonna cause you more heartache in the end. We have had wonderful teachers but my son has still always felt the effects of being the youngest in his class.
I hope this helps. Good luck!

A little about me:

I am a mother of two an 8yo and a 9yo and expecting #3 this summer. I have been married to my husband for 11 1/2 years.

As a mom and kindergarten teacher, I'd urge you to strongly consider delaying entry, or waiting a year to send your daughter. She seems prepared academically, but there is so much more to being ready than just academics. Your concerns with her being able to sit still, follow directions, and being able to function without a nap are very legitimate concerns. Would she go to all-day or half-day kdg.? If you don't send her, of course the challenge would be to keep her challenged and learning in whatever setting she'll be in next year. I'd rather deal with that though than having to worry about her struggling next year when she's really not emotionally or socially ready, or struggling somewhere through the years with any number of other possible issues. It's a HUGE decision, and I feel for you. Good luck!

Dear A.,

I am a mother of three children. My oldest son, who is now 9, was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome the year before he was to start Kindergarten. We decided to have him repeat pre-K and then go to Kindergarten the following year and it was one of the best decisions we have ever made! Our daughter, who is now 7, was born in September and had to wait to start Kindergarten. She is very intelligent and was definitely ready at 5 to attend. The extra year made her even more ready socially and put her at the top of her class academically. We have another daughter who just turned 5. She is going to kindergarten in the fall, but we are sending her to a private school that has a half day kindergarten with an optional full day program. If we don't feel like she is ready for first grade at the end of next year, we will have her repeat kindergarten so that she can have the advantages our other two children have had. Hope this helps!

K.

Hi! I live in the Nordonia Hills district of Summit county. Our cutoff is Sept. 30. My dd's birthday is Aug. 20..and we sent her to Kindergarten just 5 days after turning 5. I am SO GLAD we did!! I knew after the spring testing when she was 4 that she was ready academically, I too was worried about the social aspect. She learned it all and more in K. She made great friends, learned about circle time, sitting still and when it was time to do a project or what have you...IT IS TAUGHT IN K, that's what it's for, to prepare them for 1st grade and beyond. There was a boy in her class that was age ready the year prior but was held back and started K at 6 (turned 6 before school even started), he was soooooooo bored in that K class it wasn't even funny. He acted out and got into alot of trouble due to pure boredom. I knew I didn't want this to be my dd and was happy she was there..at 5. K is set for 5 yr olds for a reason. My dd is now 8 yrs old and in 3rd grade...AND THRIVING!!! She is reading at a 4th and 5th grade level and doing above grade level math. Can you just imagine her boredom if she was only in 2nd grade now? ALL of her teachers have been so supportive of her being young and are so glad she's there due to how well she's doing. My son is also an Aug. baby and will be going to K at 5 as well, not another thought.

For those saying it will be hard in Jr. or Sr. High school if she's young...I couldn't DISAGREE more. I started Kindergarten at 4 1/2. Our cutoff was Sept. 30, my birthday is Sept. 23 yet school started the last week of Aug. So, I was still 4 for a whole month before turning 5 in Kindergarten. I was in honors classes from 3rd-6th grades and still excelled in high school. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA at 17. I had tons of friends, was the President of Student Council, Vice President of SADD and Co-Captain of our school's dance team as a Jr and Sr. Yeah my friends drove before me..but big deal. I had my first summer job at 14, regular part time job at 15 so I always had my own money and still kept my grades up (which I had to do or no extra activities). I got my learner's permit at 16 and my DL at 17, just after starting my Sr. year.

I think you should go to your school's Kindergarten readiness assessment and see what they say. I think it will be so much better if you send her at 5 and see how she does. The teachers will let you know. IF she goes at 5 and doesn't do well (which I highly doubt), then and only then hold her back and let her repeat K. IF you hold her back first and send her to K at 6 right off the bat, she may be really bored with the work and not want to be in class with 5 yr olds... when all the other 6 yr old girls are already in 1st grade.

You have to do what is best for HER. There is nothing wrong with being the youngest (there are three 3rd grade classes at my dd's school and she is the youngest of them all..big deal!!), but there can be alot of things negative with being the oldest.

I almost forgot..my dd was a napper too. She was in afternoon Kindergarten (12:30 pickup and home by 4)..and napped as soon as she got home for at least an hour. She did this till after Christmas break and then just dropped it. IF your school has full day K, they should have a nap time, I don't know of one around here that don't. If it's 1/2 day K, she can still nap when she gets home.

If you want to talk further since I was an early K and so was my dd..feel free to email me anytime.
S. :-)
____@____.com

Hi A.! My advice doesn't come from my son, but from my experiences as a child. I went to kindergarten at age 4, and excelled for years, being put into gifted classes. The problems for me didn't occur until I was older. I never had problems academically, I had problems with my age socially. When I was a freshman, I was on a high school varsity team, and I was 14. The seniors were 18. Serious age gap. I struggled to fit in because of my age and the rules I had to follow from my parents. I know that if I have this same conundrum with my son, I will definitely try to keep his age the same as his peers. Girls usually mature faster than boys, being able to learn in a classroom setting much faster, but as her mom, you know her emotional state. If you feel that she isn't ready, I would wait a year. This is my opinion, but I think it is better to have another year of preschool, than to have to hold her back in kindergarten. She may feel like a failure if she had to be held back...just a thought. Good luck!!!

My sister had this issue as well. She felt that her daughter was ready although her birthday was a few days before the deadline. 17 years later, she would advise differently. Although her daughter did average all through school, she was in class with some kids that were almost a year older than her. Her biggest issues didn't present until high school and college. Being with kids a year older is HUGE then. She was with kids that drove earlier than her, partied sooner, etc. Those influences were not positive and ultimately she got kicked out of her college internship due to alcohol. She was underage. I would consider the long term as well as the short term. She might be very bright and social, but how will her maturity level compare through puberty and beyond? Just one point of view.

A.,
I believe we know our kids better than the school, so if you feel your child isn't ready or you are not ready to send her yet then keep her out another year. You could always put her in a great preschool in the meantime!
I have 3 in school, and 2 of them started a year later than they could've and they are doing really well!

Good Luck with this! :)

D. R.

I have a little boy who is young for his grade as well. Academically he is fine- he's actually a bright kid. Socially and emotionally, another story! Finally in 2nd grade we are seeing him settle down, focus and pay attention. It was a rough couple of years- first grade was a true nightmare - but it's coming together now.

I think if we would of waited, he'd struggle even more with the focus- paying attention. We did have him work with the school social worker who gave him stratgies and it's been great.

Boys seem to be more active and busier than girls - so your girl should be fine!

Good luck!

Mydaughter could have gone to school early just like yours. She knew all she needed to know and I was ready to send her since I had another little one at home. My husband did not feel she was ready emotionally. He wanted me to let her be a kid for one more year and give her the time to grow up. I am so, so, glad I did. She has blossomed into a very self disciplined 14 yr old now. She was ready to handle all the little petty things that go with girls much better than her friends were. I used the extra year to work with her on pre-math skills and even reading skills. The teacher was delighted because she could use my daughter to help the kids that were struggling. Guess what? I held my next daughter back too, since the experience went so well and she is excelling too! Use this year to have fun with your daughter, get her involved in some groups at church etc. so she can have the experience of following directions and going in order.

Both of my girls were like that and I did hold them back. They neither one seemed quite ready to start. (Well, my youngest homeschooled, but that's another story.) Anyway, if you don't feel like she's ready, don't be in a rush to send her. I tell people, they have 12-13 years of school, why push them into it if they aren't quite ready for it!

My son is graduating this year, early... but not really. I started him early in K, academically he was ready, maturity he was not and we ended up repeating K. The nice thing was we did private K at his daycare the first time then we had to repeat it we went to public school. So it all worked out. He had a really really hard time that first year. He acted out and was so frustrated. He is a junior in HS, but has completed all his requirements so he will be graduating in May. So it all worked out in the end. Good luck making the decisions, each kid is different!!

Your daughter sounds just like mine when I put her into kindergarten. She was very intelligent about knowing letters, numbers, colors, phone numbers, etc. I put her in just after she had turned five. When I had my first meeting with the teacher to talk about her progress the teacher told me she had tried to convince me not to start her that year but to wait until the following year. I asked her what the problem was. She proceeded to tell me that she was just too young. I asked how she was doing and she told me she was doing fine scholastically but she was behind socially. I just looked her in the face and told her that I always felt school was to teach and learn and if she was learning then I didn't feel there was that much to worry about. I told her by the time she is 13 she will catch up and be boy crazy right along with the rest of them. I was right. My daughter did quite well in school. That is until she became more interested in boys than learning. She still did quite well and I have always been very proud of my daughter's scholatic ability.

I have twin girls who were born July 29th. At registration they did fine but our school district offers a program for early 5's that help kids that the school doent think is "ready" yet for school. Their father and I decided to send them to regular Kindergarten with the thougt that they were ready for all day Kindergarten and that IF they didnt succeed then we could just have them repeat again. One daughter did well in class academicly and the other daughter struggled a little. We had to work a little more with her....but both passed. They are both in 3rd grade now and passed the state test at a profiecent level (with my struggler testing higher ). My point is this, each child is different (even if their birthdays are the same). Like someone said before, make a list of the pros and cons and see where you end up.
Good luck

Hi A.,

It is good to think about whether or not to send kids if they are not ready... that is academically. After attending school, they pick up on the social aspects of life. Did she go to preschool? If not, you are a great teacher and did a good job teaching her all that you did.

Just from what you have said, I would say, SEND HER :)

We have an almost 18 year old daughter who's birthday is in June... we didn't have to think about sending her - although we thought about sending her earlier lol. If she wouldn't have had a "college" teacher (guy that SHOULD be teaching college NOT high school) in her 9th grade English class, she would be the valedictorian this, her senior year! She got a B in that class.

Our second (we thought last) child is now 14 and in 8th grade - she is doing great - her birthdate is Oct. 20 - I wanted to send her to kindergarten instead of preschool and after the "Kindergarten screening" their recommendation was to wait a year. So we sent her to Pre-K preschool (like we did her sister for one year).

You can register your daughter and get her screened and see what THEY say. THEN make YOUR decision with your hubby. Ask your closest family member to help you, too. You can watch the other kids at the screening, too and see how they seem to act/behave/talk/reason, etc. Then you'll have some idea to what the kids are like who will be in her class.

Our "little surprise" is now in Kindergarten - his birthday was 3 days before the cutoff of September 20th (which had JUST changed from the year before from the 30th). We had no question of sending him until they changed the date. We started asking around like others do and got many "send him", "he's so smart", "he's ready". When he was screened they had no concerns and I have heard that MOST people who have sons hold them back - more so than daughters. He is doing GREAT - he has gotten a "blue day" EVERY day of school so far - that is a color code for behavior. I volunteered to help (with all our kids) and when you help in a kindergarten class, you would not believe HOW DIFFERENT all the kids are. There might be a handful of really bright kids and probably a handful of kids who you can really tell they should have gone to preschool instead. Maybe you can volunteer in the kindergarten class or just go in and observe - it is a little late in the year to compare your child to those already halfway through kindergarten but you can probably see the difference I am talking about. It is true - NOW KINDERGARTEN IS the old first grade... they are writing journals in our sons class and reading already!

We believe children's behavior outside the home goes along with what has been expected of them at home... you probably notice, your child is usually better behaved when mommy and daddy aren't around! I think that is probably true with MOST everyone's children. (Some, I would hate to see what they put up with at home lol)

I have read all the previous posts. All three of our children have impressed the teachers SO much that I get this line... "I wish I had 27 of him/her for my class" ... all the time. I have even been asked "Why do you come to the Parent Teacher Conferences?" my answer? ...I think, parents being involved as much as possible makes a huge difference in the way children behave and learn. Plus we attend church services Sunday with Sunday School and Wednesday night studies. They all love it and are sad when we miss... I think those two things are the biggest key in raising GREAT kids!

God Bless You and Your family,
R.

Oh BTW - it doesn't matter what you do... you'll still hear "all the other kids________" You do what you think is right! Our 14 year old just told me that she is NOW the only one in her class that doesn't have a cell phone!!!! Can you believe that??? Where does everyone get the money for all this STUFF that they SPOIL their kids with???

Our almost 18 year old IS NOT the only one without her liscense... I can hardly believe THAT - when I was her age - everyone WANTED it as early as possible!

It's always different

You'll make the right decision - you are her Mom - you know best!

A.

I have 3 beautiful daughters my first Dainelle(aug.22,1999) had a birthday just a few days before cut off. She did great, but I believe that she had to grow up fast because she was only 5 months old when I got pregnant with my second daughter. My second daughter McKenzie(oct.31,2000)started school when she was almost 6. But my last daughter Haely (aug.16,2002) which was also about a week before cut off did not do well. I don't know if it was because she was the baby of the family but she was emotionally not ready.
Haely did great in preschool. But when we sent her to kindergarden and had to pull her out along with having to get a counsler for her because she said she was never going to school ever again. She went from 9 children in her preschool class to 22 in her kindergarden class. The first week of school went great. When she got into her second week of school she cried the night before, the day of school and in school. We went from my husband sitting in class with her to her two older sisters sitting in the lunch room with her while she cried the whole time. Her teacher said Haely would follow her around and cry and she felt that she would not learn anything being that upset and suggested that we think about starting her next year. She started having panic attacks and crying for Daddy all the time. She even went as far as dialing 911 to talk to Daddy all the time (he is a police officer and the call goes straight to the police station).
Needless to say we pulled Haely out and sent her back to preschool, her preschool class is in the same school she will be attending this fall. She loves it. Her counsler said Haely was emotionally not ready for kindergarden. We feel we made the right choice by taking her out of kindergarden and putting her back into preschool. If you have anymore questions my email address is ____@____.com
GOOD LUCK

I work in a public school setting and socialization and following directions are a "big" part of kindergarten. Academics is only part of the "big picture". Start to work with your daughter in the area of "sitting still", following directions, working independently, and also her listening skills. Register her and if it doesn't work, then she will still be in the right class for graduation (smiles). My advice is: "Nothing beats a try but a failure"
God's blessings to you and your daughter.

A Concerned Grandma and School Secretary!

Hi A.,
I have a daughter that we went ahead and sent to school, she did great at first grading period, then began to fall back, now down to the last 9 weeks of school, the teacher has decided to retain her. She told me that the only kids she usually has to retain are the young 5's. She is a good teacher, has more than 20 years experiance. I wish we would have waited, our other child did fine, I wish I could tell you for sure, its been my experiance with my daughter that it would have been better to wait. Her issue is that she is still in that preschool mindset, not just acedemically. If you start her, just remember if she does have to repeat it is better now than later. Also the teacher told me that kindergarten has changed alot, it is the new first grade. Best wishes

Have a now 10 year old fourth grader whose birthday is in August. What you are describing about her social skills or classroom behavior is identical to my daughter's at that time. We chose to keep her in preschool another year because of this and it made all the difference. I know it can be a difficult decision, especially working full time. My daughter has no academic short comings but, socially and emotionally she just seemed to be more on target with the children a year tounger than her. I can tell you five years later that I feel for her it was the right decision. You will get over this hurdle whether you wait or not. There are many factors that I'm sure are weighing on your mind. I would be afraid that if your daughter's age might get in the way of her being able to absorb crucial skills (literacy) that may snowball as she moves on to the next grade. Ultimately, only you and your husband know what's right for your child and it's up to you to be her number one advocate. Good luck!

My son's birthday is just 2 weeks before the cutoff. I struggled with the decision for 2 years (yeah, I know... totally stressed over it). We talked with his preschool teachers and had a conference at the elementary school with the school counselor, vice principle, his speech therapist and 2 kindergarten teachers. They all said the same thing - send him to kindergarten. When my husband and I entered the meeting, we were dead set against it. But we followed their advice. I'm glad we did! He's absolutely thriving this year. It's full day kindergarten but he's doing great. We were very worried because he's had some social/emotional developmental delays and was immature compared to other kids his age. However, he did just what the teachers said he would -- had a huge leap in maturity in the summer before school started. The first month at school was a bit rough but he's doing great. Most of the other classroom parents have no idea that he was in a special needs preschool.

His class has a 'quiet time' after recess. For the first month or so, they encouraged the kids to lay on the carpet and most fell asleep. Now that it's the end of the school year and most have adjusted, most just sit in a chair and read quietly (but they can still nap for 30 minutes if they want to).

One thing I got out of the meeting... the cut-off date is there for a reason. Someone has to be the youngest. Someone has to be the oldest. However, the teachers really hate having a 1.5-2 year gap between some kids! My son won't turn 6 until the end of the summer but there are 7 year olds in his class!! That's a HUGE difference at such a young age. Yes, if you spend time in his classroom you can immediately pick out who the "young 5's" are but it's only because many of the kids are so much older and shouldn't even be in that classroom (most were 6 before Christmas because of parents holding children back!). You put my son around kids his own age and he acts totally normal.

The other thing... the teachers know the kids are only 5. And they expect them to act like 5 year olds! They expect an outburst here or there. They expect them to miss their parents and be sad the first few days/weeks. They expect them to forget their lunch money or lunch box or library book. They expect them to not be able to still for more than 15-20 minutes at a time. They expect that they'll forget to raise their hands. They literally hand-hold them the first month or so... meeting them as they step off the bus and walking them to the classroom, walking with them step-by-step through the lunch-line, walking them back to the door of their bus, etc. The kindergarteners even get assigned seats on the schoolbus up front so the driver can easily remind them which busstop is theirs. They expect all the kids to do those things for the first month or so, but it's amazing how much they learn and change in that first month.

The kindergartens also dont' sit still all day. It's more like a preschool classroom in that they have circle time, then move to various 'centers', then have free play, lunch, recess, quiet time, group literacy (sitting in carpet), small group literacy (small groups sitting at tables), library and 'music and movement'. My son doesn't have to sit still for more than 20 minutes all day -- which is a good thing for him! :-)

Of course no one knows your son like you do, but unless it's a really odd circumstance you should probably send him. If you have doubts, meet with some of the teachers or school counselor. They'll encourage you to send him because he's old enough to go. I have friends who held their kids back and while it seemed OK at first, they resented their decision in a few years.

Just remember, Indiana has one of the earliest cut-off dates. In many states, the cut-off date is in Oct or Nov -- or even Dec. When we lived in CA I knew many 4 year olds who were in kindergarten and they did just fine. My friends back there think Indiana is very backwards for having so many kids starting Kindergarten when they're 6!

I have a daughter who was born on august 1st. I sent her early and her teacher and I decided to hold her back a year after her first year of kindergarten, It was not exactly the same for her as you are describing for your daughter. her teacher was also sent early and struggled every yeat at the beginning of the school year and my daughter did the same thing, so we decided to hold her back. however I have heard about it every year since. So I would caution on the side of waiting another year.

You can talk to the kinder teacher about the curriculum and normal routine. The first week or so is usually a bit rocky for transitions, but they fit in pretty quickly when children see all the others doing the same thing. Today it seems that schools are more hands-on and keeping children's attention isn't as hard.

They usually break up the monotony more in kinder school, plus they have recess and snack time / lunch. They helps out a bit as well.

http://www.S..extremecreation.com

A...I kknow this is a few days old but i wanted to let you know my experience. My daughter started kindergarten 2 days after she turned 5. When she was in preschool(2 yrs)her teacher said she would be bored if i kept her in there another year because academically she was on the ball if not a head of her peers,BUT the teacher said she was still emotionally not ready for Kindergarten. I had to weigh what I thought would be harder for her..being bored in class or needing some time to catch up socially with her peers. After some heavy thinking, my husband and I chose to go ahead and send her.She did have some hard days, but acedemically she excelled.I think the hardest part for us was the transition to 1st grade.We went from half day to all day school, plus our school changed it's starting time to an hour earlier. It is now April and she started in August. We still have some hard days especially at first. I have very good communicatipon with the teacher.She understands(as well as when she was in kindergarten)that my daughter is younger and both teachers were very patient with her. Good luck...K.

I went to kindergarten when I was 4. I was a very bright kid too but also very shy and I had a hard time sitting still. My parents say if they had it to do over again they would have held me back one more year. They said they think things might have been easier for me. The held my brothers back and they did really well. We also moved and they went to a different school than I did. I am making it sound like I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack. LOL That's not the case, but age is what it is and she might be better off in the long run if you send her next year.

My son just makes the cut-off, but we’re going to hold off sending even though he’d be academically and socially ready. I taught Pre-K and there is just such a difference between the oldests and the youngests. Also, I was one of the youngests and my brother who’s birthday is 4 days later went a year later and is one the oldests. And my sister-in-law went to Kindergarten at 4 1/2 (some places have wacky cut-offs, like Jan 1st). The thing is that some people are the youngests and are fine, though they are often more shy and not leaders, and some people struggle with it. But no one really struggles with being the oldest. Most of them just have a lot easier time all the way through school. (I’m talking emotionally and socially as well as academically) And theven a child who is ready now may not be down the road. My sister-in-law went to college at 17.5 and was just too young, too immature and didn’t do well. And she says that had she been older she thinks it would have made a huge difference. And I was young and was fine academically, but always a little shy. My brother, on the other hand, was one of the oldest and had just the easiest time all the way through school, both socially and academically. It’s tough to think about it so far in advance, but it does immpact everything, from sports to getting to drive first among your friends to being emotionally mature enough for dating, going to college, etc. It’s just so hard to tell at this young age. In talking to other Pre-K teachers when I taught, most of them are in favor of raising the Kindergarten entry age, especially since K is most often academic now and often full-day as well. It’s just really tough on many new 5s. And I figure they’ve got their whole life to work. Why make them get out of college a year eariler to get started on it? Why not let them have one more year as a kid before starting them down that path? You’ve got a tough decision ahead of you. But, especially if you have any doubts the your daughter is ready, I would definetly wait. It’s really not the common view-point nowadays, but can be much better for the kids!

Hi A.,

I was a kindergarten teacher for five years, before deciding to stay home with my children. I just want you to know that it won't hurt her to hold her back, but it could hurt her to send her. Even if you think she is ready academically, the social/emotional issues might be a struggle, and it won't hurt her to wait a year. I have only seen success with children who wait, and it is so obvious the children who start really 'ready.' They tend to be the children who are the leaders and the ones who the other children look up to...and they are truly successful in every way. You also need to consider beyond kindergarten...she will always be the youngest in her class and it may cause struggles later on. You of course know your daughter best, but I just wanted to offer my advice.

Good luck!
S.

Hi A.,
I sent my daughter to kindergarten at 5 with a mid-July birthday. The cutoff was Sept. 30th. She has done very well and I don't think I would have done it differently for her.
However, I also only sent her 1/2 day. Our district has full-day kindergarten, but by state law they have to offer/allow parents to choose 1/2 day. (Some districts pressure for full-day, mine did not). The afternoon was rest time and reinforcement time - game playing, computer time, etc. All things I could and did do at home. She had not gone to preschool, which factored in to my choice. If your daughter is in preschool, perhaps you could request a meeting with her teachers there and ask their advice. Remember she still has several months of maturing to come before school starts. However, the concern I have for my daughter is more for the older years. She'll be one of the last to drive, what about the "dating scene" when she gets to high school - we don't want her dating young, but how difficult is that going to be when "everyone else" in her class is allowed to because they are older? Its a big decision, but use your best instincts and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your daughter!

Well A. i didn't have this problem what i would suggest is that you put her in Head Start first. If you put her in there it gets her prepared for Kindergarten. I started my daughter out there when she was 3. She went when she was 3 and 4 and once she turned 5 of course you know she went to kindergarten. But with her being in Head Start the will teach her the things that you are nervous about. Its just like regular school but there are preparing her for the big league LOL! She will be able to take naps and they get snakes as well. If its not to let i would look into putting her in Head Start to get her ready for Kindergarten.

My son was put into kindergarten, and he couls write his letters and his name as well. However, my son darrek is being retained to kindergarten. He does not have the emotional maturity to go to first grade. If you child attended preschool there maybe you should talk to the preschool teacher, or other caregiver for that matter, and see if they feel your shild is ready. Even if you so put her into kindergarten you can always hold her back if she goes through and you feel she is not yet ready.

I would suggest that, if you aren't sure it's a good idea, don't do it. They have these cut-offs for a reason and unless your child displays maturity beyond her age, you won't just hurt her by sending her early, but it will take time and attention from the teacher away from other students. What is the difference if you wait another year in the grand scheme of things?

My son's birthday was also right at the cut off date. I sent him. Just like your daughter, it wasn't that I didn't think he could handle the "academics" it was more the social aspect I was worried about. Because we attend a small private school I was able to learn a lot about the teacher and the other students before i made the decision. What ultimately made me decide to go ahead and send him to Kindergarten rather than Red Shirt him was the other kids in the class. I knew a lot of the families, most of the other kids came from intact homes. And my son would not be the only one starting early there were in fact 3 kids in the class younger than him. I have never once regretted sending him.